Mike Tycoo- I Mean, Mike Cozad

Fighter profile of Mike Cozad by Gut Punch

It had been a while since anyone had heard from Mike Cozad. Apart from a couple of forum blog posts, and his in-cage appearances, Cozad hadn't talked to anyone in the media in some time. ' That was about to change. I was selected to be the first interviewer who had talked to Cozad in well over 3 years. I reviewed notes and past interviews to prepare for such a task. Every single one mentioned him as an unstable genius of sorts, full of bravado and testosterone, with an underlying psychopathic current- As such, I spent hours articulating the proper questions to ask, as to not set off this handsome ticking fuse. I arrived at his brand-new Sydney mansion on a rainy, thunderous day and marveled at the outside. Australia had never seen a site like this before. A 20 foot statue made completely of gold was outside his doorstep, and it featured Cozad himself casting one of his famous uppercuts. Lightning struck only a couple miles away, and although I dreaded to think what Cozad would do if he were not in the mood to meet, I knocked on the door. An English Butler answered the door, and he broadly gestured to the dozens of rooms that lay in front of me. In one, a bowling alley with Mike’s enemies' faces painted on every pin. The room next door was ten or so scantily clad women. I found it unusual that there weren’t women in any other room. Finally, I found Mike in a room in the corner, sitting upon a golden throne while being fanned and fed grapes by gorgeous women. Two midgets fought ceaselessly before him, merely for his amusement. Yet Cozad showed no amusement. He brewed, sternly looking up at me with piercing, tantalizing eyes. He motioned for me to sit across from him. “Mr. Cozad, it’s been a long time since the public heard from you. Any reason why?” “Well, i’ve felt- morose. I don’t have a better way of explaining it. I have billions of dollars, countless minions that will answer my every call, and yet- i’m missing something. Money can only buy you so much, you know. It can’t buy happiness” He says, as the most gorgeous asian woman I have ever seen in my entire life feeds him another grape. “Well- what is the issue then?” “It’s Gut Punch! That dastardly, dastardly man. Sure, he talks a big game, and always gets cool websites for his fighters, but he’s a god awful manager. Couldn’t even be bothered to keep the lights on at Yellow Lotus for the past year, now most of us fighters are undertrained.” “That’s quite unfortunate. But, I see that Gut Punch has been more active recently. What changed?” “I had some friends stop by his house and recommend that he stay a little more active.” “Terrifying. So now that he’s active, what’s next for Mike Cozad?” “Isn’t it obvious? I want to achieve all that there is in MMATycoon, to reach the absolute pinnacle of the sport- which means I want to crush cans and face no real challenge until I need a payday.”

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