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What's going on ass-beaters!? Its Preston Lindsey hear, coming to give you a
preview of the century! November 7th we will have ten bouts that are sure to
leave you awestruck.
Next up we have the main event! I hope you're excited for this shit, because these to
fighters are looking to finish this fight, one way or another! Its the man who used to
be #3 P4P, Mitchell Stehling(30-11-0) trying to put any thought that he will be beat by
Umberto "Golden Machete" Duran(20-10-0). Stehling is an awesome veteran of IMMA, and a
true ass-beater. He has already been inducted into the IMMA hall of fame, but isn't done
yet. He is looking to keep on trucking, and prove that he can by dominating Duran. Duran
in my opinion is on a slightly lower skill level than Stehling, but if he plays his cards
right, he can definitely beat Stehling. I'm giving the awesome bout to Stehling in the 3rd
round by (T)KO.
In the co-main event we have two 155 pounders throwing the small amount of weight they
have at each other. We have the "The Dragon" Bruce Lee(28-12-1) and Dumbass
McWeakhand(27-8-1) trying to prove who's the better fighter. McWeakhands is trying to
show his mom that he is not a dumbass, and prove that he was named innapropriately. If
Lee uses his reactions to his advantage, and can counter McWeakhand's savage blow he may
be able to pull out a decision. However, I see McWeakhand winning in the 2nd round by (T)KO.
Card number eight consists of the old #1 ranked middleweight, Lauri Torni(25-8-0) going
glove to glove against a man who didn't lose a match until his fifteenth match, Hal
Jordan(22-5-0)! Jordan is currently 3-0 in the IMMA and is looking to beat Torni's ass
whether thorugh KO, Sub, or decision. Torni is going to do his best to prevent that, and
I see nothing less than brutal strikes and non-stop combat between these two. I believe
that Jordan has the edge, though. Win by decision for Jordan.
Bout number seven is going to be a 205 pound fight between the man who has never
been knocked out or submitted, Rodney Holmes(20-7-1) up against "The Animal", George
Steele(31-14-0), who is one of the most experienced fighters in MMA today. I personally
believe that Holmes has a big advantage here, because he has just entered his prime and
has been going head to head with some of the best ass-beaters out there. My bet goes to
Holmes, winning by decision.
In this heavyweight matchup, Fedor "The Last Emperor" Emelianenko will be
(24-12-0) looking to come back from the TKO that devastated him when he fought
Aleksi Borga. His opponent "The Sub-Mariner" Namor McKenzie has come off an
impressive 2 win streak against big names such as Taisto Tappura, and Vvierme
Llamer, finishing both of those fights. I see McKenzie coming out looking to
counter Fedor, while Fedor will be more aggressive, trying to end the fight as
soon as he can. My prediction goes to McKenzie by way o isf (T)KO in the 2nd round.
The first five bouts of the night will be fighters trying to rise the ranks to
become ass-beating champions. My predictions for these are as follows:
Xocoyol(3-4-0) vs Sloan(10-8-0)
Prediction: Sloan via (T)KO in Rnd 2
Oliveira(15-7-0) vs Mond(6-3-0)
Prediction: Oliveira via Sub in Rnd 3
Congo(23-13-0) vs Soleil(26-13-0)
Prediction: Soleil via Decision
Furfur(14-2-0) vs Hardly(25-17-0)
Prediction: Furfur via Decision
Brand(13-2-0) vs Nazarethyan(8-0-0)
Prediction: Nazarethyan via (T)KO in Rnd 2
And that's a wrap! Remember, don't forget to stay safe, and beat some ass! IMMA is your home
for the most exciting fight the world, and will continue to be! This has been Preston Lindsey,
and I approve of this ass-beating.
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