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 Tokyo, Japan - In a not so surprising turn of events, Kilo "Bloodbath" Maluga (45-11 MMA, 32-7 SYN) ascends back to the pinnacle of the MMA world with a highlight reel head kick KO victory over bitter rival and infamous battle-dwarf-viking-hybrid-man-child Leif Leifsson (26-9 MMA, 9-3 SYN).
Kilo walked into the cage at SYN 933 weighing 259 lbs of the most chiseled mexican horse meat you've ever seen. You could see the lights from the arena reflecting off his abs. Inside the cage he looked even better. He moved faster, he seemed more energized, he was taking shots to the body better than before. What was the catalyst to Kilo's vastly improved performance?
"Secret juice." Kilo says, holding up a bottle of red liquid. "It has electrolytes."
The accusations of steroid usage and PED's has followed Maluga around his entire career, but somehow - most likely due to shady manager paying bribes to shady commissions - Kilo has managed to pass all his drug test and dodge suspensions for PED's. The overwhelming majority of media speculated that Kilo was on the sauce and his manager didn't deny it.
"Juiced to the gills." Chris Karter says with a smile. "Exactly how we like 'em. Juice these monkey's up with all the good stuff. Little HGH. TRT. Blood of virgins. Whatever gets their muscles big, fast. Hey, it's human cock fighting at it's finest. Just be thankful we can't defy the mechanics of the in-game universe and knee your fighters in the face while they're on the ground, or soccer kick them into irrelevancy. Pretty sure Kilo would have Vitor'd Lief's head across the sea and into North Korea."
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