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 The highly anticipated SYN 1000 event was an Independence Day spectacle to behold. 90,000 bloodthirsty Americans witnessed some glorious violence and many exciting fights. The fans were treated to 5 title fights and only 2 bouts on the entire card would see the judges, with the rest of them ending by finish.
In the main event of the evening, Kilo "Bloodbath" Maluga (62-14-0) topped Adan Puno (16-6-0) in what many believed to be the cherry on top of an illustrious hall of fame career. The two fighters fought a closely contested first round that left both fighters bleeding all over the place after landing some big punches with their overgrown mallets. Puno, perhaps overconfident and smelling the blood of an old man, came out swinging in the second frame, only to play right into Kilo's game. After eating a stiff uppercut, Puno whiffed a shot to the body and Maluga countered with a left and a right... and another left... and another!! A brutal combination that turned off the lights. Puno had no idea who he was or where he was as he gazed up at the spotlights. Brutal knockout and definitely the knockout of the night. With this victory Kilo rightfully reclaimed the #1 P4P status like he never lost it, taking it away from a fighter who he allowed to hold it and keep it warm for less than 48 hours.
In a major upset, former #1 P4P fighter Joe "The Real Tiger King" Exotic (28-12-2) would suffer his first ever TKO loss to Sweden's Oke Swahn (18-4-1) for the middleweight title. The two fighters had previously dueled to a majority draw back at SYN 993, in a match that most believed Joe Exotic to have won. Exotic dominated the opening frame and was cruising in the 2nd round until Swahn decided to he ate a big right hand from his Swedish opponent that had him on queer street. Exotic would do his best to fight back but with a smile on his face he'd eat another big right to the mouth and get pounded on til the ref stopped it. With only 1 second left in the 2nd round, most fans are calling it an early stoppage and we would have to agree. We all know that Exotic wasn't in any real danger and there's nothing Joe enjoys more than getting pounded on by another man.
Tacitus Kilgore (39-15-0) reclaimed the Lightweight title in classic Tacitus fashion by cheesing "The Conjurer" Olyn Seran (28-18-1) to a decision victory, one of the only decisions on the card. After winning the first two rounds with a smothering effort, Seran couldn't conjure any offense what-so-ever over the last 3, as Tacitus had made some adjustments and began to pick his opponent apart on the feet. In actuality it was a closer contest than this writer gives it credit for, but the 37-year-old American in Kilgore just wouldn't be denied on the 4th of July.
Representing the Certified Cave Gang from South Africa, SYN featherweight champion Colby Gebhardt dispatched Evan "Le Tueure" Duvernay (28-11-0) with a 4th round clinch-raping that would make Maurice's African ancestors proud. It was a clinch-raping on par with the Janjaweed of the Darfur genocide, and the light-skinned Frenchman never stood a chance. Colby has looked absolutely marvelous since making the move to South Africa and hiring Maurice Simmons, Chris Karter's prodigy to meet a diversity quota. Apparently the Book of Karter is very strong in the young gun who claims he is the future GOAT. He's got a long way to go, but this is a solid start.
Under the tutorledge of the international man of mystery known as Jet, bantamweight champion Braynas Hlervu (33-16-0) has been on a tear in SYN's midgetweight division. This booking was an odd one, as Hlervu found himself standing across the cage against what by all physical means appeared to be a woman. Most fighters would have respect for a woman, or a trans-woman, but Hlervu's culture has taught him that sometimes you got to hit a b*tch. With the teachings of A Pimp Named Slickback guiding his hands, he continued his impressive win streak by beating "Countess" Bethania Valverde (15-7-0) like she owed him money enroute to a 1st round TKO. We can only hope that this would be the last time that SYN woman-hating management book a female she-thing in a title bout.
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