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Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Conor The Barbarian (ranked 19 p4p, 60 weight class) and Massive Wanker (ranked 4 p4p, 10 weight class). Wanker is bobbing his head along to his entrance song: Running Free. Massive Wanker has the better chin. Will he look to stand and bang today?

202 cm
33
278
37 - 10 - 0
225 cm
30
282
26 - 6 - 0
Great wrestler
World class boxer
Cardio machine
Olympic wrestler
World class MT
Good gas tank

Ma Balls Is Hot Clothing
SynCity Fightwear

Perkele!
Paddy's Enhancing Drugs (160Q)


Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, for the heavyweight championship of the world!
Introducing the champion to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 37 - 10 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Conor The Barbarian!
And introducing the challenger to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 26 - 6 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Massive Wanker!
The judges for this bout are Richard Clark, Andrew Berry and Phil Schofield.




The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Wanker takes a body punch but keeps moving.
A jab from Wanker finds it's way through The Barbarian's defenses.

It looks like Conor The Barbarian has been cut.

The Barbarian closes the distance and clinches.
Wanker fails to pull guard.
The Barbarian misses with a knee strike.
The Barbarian is looking to score with knees to the body. Maybe he'll change it up and go body then head. Wanker is defending well for now.
I was talking to The Barbarian's coach per-fight and he was telling me that they'd been working on the clinch in the runup to this fight.
Wanker tries to pull guard but The Barbarian forces him back to his feet, against the cage.
Wanker is trying to pull guard but being pressed up against the cage enables The Barbarian to keep the fight standing.
Conor The Barbarian has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Massive Wanker.

Wanker manages to pull guard. Let's see whether he can land a sub off his back.
The Barbarian preventing the sweep.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
There's a bit of a scramble here and now Wanker is on top in guard.

Wanker is a painfully thin specimen of a man. You do wonder whether a good body kick would snap him clean in two.
The Barbarian keeping moving, preventing Wanker from controlling successfully.
Wanker passes easily into side control. Nice work.

That's one minute gone in the round.

Wanker tries for an arm triangle. That looks pretty tight to me. Is this one over!?! Possibly, maybe, no Wanker has let go of the choke. Obviously it wasn't as tight as we thought!
Wanker advances nicely into full mount.
The Barbarian knows he needs to get back to his feet asap. He's simply no match for Wanker on the ground.

Wanker working for a submission but The Barbarian is keeping him at bay.
The Barbarian stops Wanker from taking his back. Still, being mounted isn't any better.

Wanker goes for an armbar but he's not got it… The Barbarian turns into him and now he's in Wanker's guard.

The Barbarian got a little sloppy there for a moment and Wanker has worked his way into a loose triangle - can he finish it?! No, The Barbarian has managed to get both his arms back between Wanker's legs - danger averted.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Wanker looking to sweep here. No luck so far.
Wanker pulls The Barbarian in close to prevent any damage.
The Barbarian wants to stand but Wanker is controlling his posture from full guard.

That's three minutes gone in the round.

Wanker escapes his hips to the side and looks to be working for an armbar. The Barbarian gives him a little smile and shakes his head. No chance.
The Barbarian wanted to stand there but Wanker had control of the position.

Wanker escapes his hips to the side and looks to be working for an armbar. The Barbarian gives him a little smile and shakes his head. No chance.
Wanker trying to keep a closed guard but The Barbarian is proving a slippery customer.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are showing their displeasure at the lack of action as loud boos ring out around the arena.

The Barbarian avoids a guillotine attempt easily.
The Barbarian has decided he wants to stand but the closed guard of Wanker is proving hard to escape from.
Wanker manages to sweep nicely, so he's now on top. The Barbarian manages to get himself to full guard.

Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!
Wanker wants to control from the top but The Barbarian keeps moving.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.

Massive Wanker dominated that round.
The cut man is working on Conor The Barbarian's cut.
The fighters' corners scream their final instructions, as the referee calls time. Here we go, back to the action!


The Barbarian closes the distance and presses his opponent up against the cage.
The Barbarian using the Thai plumb to throw knees but Wanker has his back arched nicely, preventing the strike.
Wanker managing to block the knees to the body from The Barbarian.

Wanker drags the fight down to the ground.

The Barbarian stands up from Wanker's guard - The Barbarian perhaps looking for a knockout.

The Barbarian gets in close and instigates a clinch.
The Barbarian misses with a hook from the clinch.
The Barbarian lands with a short shot to the head.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Wanker tries to take the fight to the ground by pulling guard but can't manage it.
Wanker tries to pull guard but The Barbarian won't allow it.
Wanker blocks an uppercut.
Wanker is trying to pull guard but being pressed up against the cage enables The Barbarian to keep the fight standing.
Conor The Barbarian has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Massive Wanker.
Wanker is trying to pull guard but The Barbarian has him pressed against the cage.
Wanker's head jolts backwards as he takes an uppercut right on the button!
The Barbarian working on landing some head shots here - that one got through nicely.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Wanker tries to pull guard but The Barbarian won't allow it.
The Barbarian working some nice short punches in the clinch.
Wanker tries to pull guard but The Barbarian holds him up against the cage and eventually Wanker drops back down to his feet.
The Barbarian with the Thai clinch. He's looking to land a big knee but he's not managed it this time.
The Barbarian lands a right hand that snaps the head of Wanker backwards.
The Barbarian throws a vicious knee straight up the middle but Wanker blocks it with crossed arms.
The Barbarian using the Thai plumb to throw knees but Wanker has his back arched nicely, preventing the strike.

The Barbarian escapes the clinch and we're back to striking.
Conor The Barbarian is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
Wanker swings and misses with a hook to the body.
An attempted straight right counter from The Barbarian misses the target.

The Barbarian has taken the fight to the clinch.
Wanker jumps guard but The Barbarian turns him against the cage and keeps the fight standing.
The Barbarian working some nice short punches in the clinch.
The Barbarian is looking to score with knees to the body. Maybe he'll change it up and go body then head. Wanker is defending well for now.
Wanker fails to pull guard.

The Barbarian manages to break the clinch.
The Barbarian is looking to clinch but Wanker is avoiding it.

The Barbarian drives through and clinches with Wanker against the cage.
Wanker tries to pull guard but The Barbarian won't allow it.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The Barbarian lands with a left to the head.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
With the fighters clinched against the cage, The Barbarian creates a bit of distance for himself and scores with a nice uppercut.
Wanker jumps guard but his hands slip and he falls flat on his back. Well, he's made himself look a right mug there, as The Barbarian walks away with a smile on his face. Wanker gets slowly back to his feet and shakes his head.
Wanker closes the distance but The Barbarian moves to the side
and The Barbarian counters with a stiff right hand.
The Barbarian slips a jab from Wanker.

The Barbarian gets a clinch.
Conor The Barbarian has scored more points in the clinch so far.
Wanker fails to pull the fight into his guard.
The Barbarian tries to land a knee to the head but misses.
Wanker is trying to pull guard but being pressed up against the cage enables The Barbarian to keep the fight standing.
Wanker tries to take the fight to the ground by pulling guard but can't manage it.

Wanker pulls The Barbarian into guard.
The Barbarian might be looking to lock onto one of his opponent's long limbs for a submission, whilst we're on the ground.
Wanker tries to land a sweep but no joy.
Wanker is persisting with the attempt to improve his position.
The Barbarian tries to stand but Wanker is controlling from the bottom.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
The Barbarian won't allow Wanker to sweep him here.
Wanker trying to control the position.
The Barbarian wanted to stand there but Wanker had control of the position.
The Barbarian is really dominating this fight. Is there anything that Wanker can do to turn this around?

Wanker is active off his back here, looking for submissions.

Wanker working from the bottom, still in full guard. He's managed to get a loose triangle. The Barbarian doesn't seem to be doing much to defend here, obviously he feels comfortable in the position. The Barbarian manages to throw the legs off his shoulder and he's back into guard - no problem.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are starting to boo a lack of action.
Wanker controls The Barbarian momentarily but The Barbarian frees himself.

Wanker is active off his back here, looking for submissions.

Wanker is active off his back here, looking for submissions.

Wanker escapes his hips to the side and looks to be working for an armbar. The Barbarian gives him a little smile and shakes his head. No chance.

The Barbarian got a little sloppy there for a moment and Wanker has worked his way into a loose triangle - can he finish it?! No, The Barbarian has managed to get both his arms back between Wanker's legs - danger averted.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.

Conor The Barbarian dominated that second round.
The cut man is working on Conor The Barbarian's cut.
That's the end of the interval. I'm sure that seemed a lot quicker than a minute for our two fighters! Back to the action.

Wanker loads up on a big right hand but The Barbarian slips the punch.
Wanker throws a low kick but it's checked well by The Barbarian.
Wanker throws a jab when The Barbarian was well out of range.
Wanker pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
A little feinted left hand from The Barbarian on the counter but he doesn't commit to it.
Wanker fakes the leg kick and cracks The Barbarian in the body.
The Barbarian throws a combination but comes up with nothing but fresh air.
Wanker misses with a body kick.

The Barbarian gets in close and instigates a clinch.
Wanker avoiding damage as The Barbarian throws knees to the body.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
The Barbarian scores with a knee to the head.
The Barbarian tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
The Barbarian unloads a knee to the mid-section.
Wanker takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.

The Barbarian escapes the clinch and we're back to striking.
Wanker looks to score with a jab to the body but The Barbarian is just out of range.
Wanker swats away the attempt to clinch by The Barbarian.
Massive Wanker seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.

That's one minute gone in the round.
The Barbarian wants to clinch up but Wanker keeps it at a distance.
Wanker throws a looping overhand right but The Barbarian ducks down to avoid it.
Wanker jabbing away but nothing is landing.
The Barbarian swung with a counter right hand that didn't connect.
Wanker throws a head kick but The Barbarian moves out of range.
Wanker throws a body shot but no joy.

The Barbarian pushes Wanker up against the cage in a clinch.
The Barbarian scores a nice knee to the body.
The Barbarian with the Thai clinch. He's looking to land a big knee but he's not managed it this time.
The Barbarian misses with a knee to the head.
The Barbarian misses with a knee to the head.

Wanker decides to pull guard.

Wanker is throwing his legs up, looking for submissions. The Barbarian is aware though and is defending well.
The Barbarian tries to stand but Wanker is controlling from the bottom.

That's two minutes gone in the round.

The Barbarian avoids a guillotine attempt easily.

Wanker is working actively off his back, looking to secure an arm or perhaps work for a triangle.
The Barbarian has decided he wants to stand but the closed guard of Wanker is proving hard to escape from.

Wanker escapes his hips to the side and looks to be working for an armbar. The Barbarian gives him a little smile and shakes his head. No chance.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Wanker trying to keep a closed guard but The Barbarian is proving a slippery customer.

Wanker is looking for a guillotine. You can't force these things though and The Barbarian defends well.
Wanker tries to land a sweep but no joy.

The referee has motioned to the fighters to stand back up.
The fight stays on the outside here - The Barbarian looks like he's thinking about clinching though.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are getting on the fighters' backs, as the pace has dropped off in the last minute or so.
Wanker goes for a high kick. It partially lands.
Wanker is looking to slow The Barbarian down with leg kicks.

The Barbarian darts in and clinches Wanker up against the cage.
The Barbarian throws a knee to the head but misses.
The Barbarian throws a knee to the head but misses.
The Barbarian landing knees to the body. They look like they could hurt.
The Barbarian misses with a knee to the head.
Wanker jumps guard but The Barbarian turns him against the cage and keeps the fight standing.
The Barbarian throws a vicious knee straight up the middle but Wanker blocks it with crossed arms.
The Barbarian lands with a short shot to the head.
The Barbarian tries to land a knee to the head but Wanker blocks with his arms.
The Barbarian unloads a knee to the mid-section.
The Barbarian lands on the inside with an uppercut.
The Barbarian throws a vicious knee straight up the middle but Wanker blocks it with crossed arms.
Wanker takes a knee to the side of the body.
Wanker avoiding damage as The Barbarian throws knees to the body.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.

Conor The Barbarian clearly takes that round.
The cut man is working on Conor The Barbarian's cut.
Well, the break between rounds is over. Let's get back to the scrappin!

Wanker looks to score with a jab to the body but The Barbarian is just out of range.
A counter left hand to the body from The Barbarian misses its target.
Wanker swings and misses with a hook to the body.
The fighters circling - Wanker throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Wanker's jab looks to have found its range, popping The Barbarian under the eye.

The fight moves into the clinch position.
The Barbarian utilising his Muay Thai to score with a knee to the body.
Wanker jumps guard but The Barbarian turns him against the cage and keeps the fight standing.
The Barbarian tries to land a knee to the head but misses.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
The Barbarian lands on the inside with an uppercut.
Wanker fails to pull the fight into his guard.
The Barbarian crunches a lovely knee into Wanker's ribcage.
The Barbarian missing with knees to the body.
Wanker is absolutely dripping with sweat - he looks exhausted.
The Barbarian lands a knee to the head.
The Barbarian tries to land knees in the clinch but Wanker avoids the damage to the body.
The Barbarian tries to land a knee to the body but he is off balance and Wanker avoids it.

That's one minute gone in the round.
The Barbarian tries to land a knee to the body but he is off balance and Wanker avoids it.
The Barbarian with a knee to the head.
The Barbarian throws a vicious knee straight up the middle but Wanker blocks it with crossed arms.
The Barbarian using the Thai plumb to throw knees but Wanker has his back arched nicely, preventing the strike.
Wanker is trying to pull guard but The Barbarian turns him against the cage and we stay in the clinch.
Conor The Barbarian has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Massive Wanker.
A short uppercut from The Barbarian.
The Barbarian looking to throw knees to the head but Wanker is blocking nicely.
The Barbarian scores a nice knee to the body.
The Barbarian throws a vicious knee straight up the middle but Wanker blocks it with crossed arms.
The Barbarian looking to throw knees to the head but Wanker is blocking nicely.
The Barbarian with an attempt at a knee that misses.

Wanker drags the fight down to the ground.

Wanker working from the bottom, still in full guard. He's managed to get a loose triangle. The Barbarian doesn't seem to be doing much to defend here, obviously he feels comfortable in the position. The Barbarian manages to throw the legs off his shoulder and he's back into guard - no problem.
The Barbarian postures up.

That's two minutes gone in the round.

Wanker has a loose triangle. He'll be looking to tighten that up but The Barbarian can see exactly what he's planning and manages to posture up and free himself.
Massive Wanker has got the better of the ground game so far.

Wanker working from the bottom, still in full guard. He's managed to get a loose triangle. The Barbarian doesn't seem to be doing much to defend here, obviously he feels comfortable in the position. The Barbarian manages to throw the legs off his shoulder and he's back into guard - no problem.

The Barbarian gets to his feet and steps away from his opponent.

The Barbarian takes the fight into the clinch.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
The Barbarian tries to land a knee to the head but Wanker blocks with his arms.
Wanker tries to pull guard but The Barbarian won't allow it.
The Barbarian with an attempt at a knee that misses.
The Barbarian with the Thai clinch. He's looking to land a big knee but he's not managed it this time.
Wanker tries to jump guard but he falls flat on his backside. The Barbarian smiles and moves away.
Wanker scores with a punch to the head.
Wanker just misses with a punch to the body.
A head kick misses from Wanker.
The Barbarian half committed to a counter leg kick.
The Barbarian tries to clinch there but Wanker circles away.
Wanker throws a counter combo.
The Barbarian tries to close the distance and clinch up against the cage but Wanker paws at him with a jab and circles away.
Wanker bobs and weaves and then throws a good body kick.
Massive Wanker seems to be getting the better of the standup.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The Barbarian walks straight into an uppercut. Luckily it didn't land flush.
Wanker chopping away at his opponent's legs.
The Barbarian has a nice red mark on his side after a thudding body kick by Wanker.
The Barbarian takes a shot right to the liver - Bas would have been proud of that punch.
The Barbarian is looking to clinch but Wanker is avoiding it.
A countering left hand to the body from Wanker misses.
A jab from Wanker finds it's way through The Barbarian's defenses.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
The Barbarian takes a body punch but keeps moving.
Wanker with a lazy takedown attempt
and The Barbarian counters with a stiff right hand.
Wanker turns his hip over beautifully as he lands a nice leg kick.
The Barbarian tries to clinch but Wanker moves out of range.
The Barbarian is looking to clinch but Wanker is avoiding it.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close fourth round but I would say that Conor The Barbarian will probably get the nod.
The cut man is working on Conor The Barbarian's cut.
OK. That's time! The bell goes and we're back to the action. This is the final round!


The Barbarian darts in and clinches Wanker up against the cage.
Wanker jumps guard but The Barbarian turns him against the cage and keeps the fight standing.
The Barbarian connects with a nasty looking knee right to Wanker's face.
The Barbarian misses with a knee strike.
The Barbarian using the Thai plumb to throw knees but Wanker has his back arched nicely, preventing the strike.
The Barbarian swings wildly with an uppercut but Wanker uses good head movement to avoid it.
Wanker fails to pull the fight into his guard.
The Barbarian tries to land a knee to the head but misses.
Wanker is trying to pull guard but The Barbarian has him pressed against the cage.
Conor The Barbarian has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Massive Wanker.
Wanker fails to pull the fight into his guard.
Wanker tries to pull guard but The Barbarian forces him back to his feet, against the cage.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Wanker is trying to pull guard but The Barbarian turns him against the cage and we stay in the clinch.
Wanker tries to pull guard but The Barbarian forces him back to his feet, against the cage.
Wanker is wobbling all over the place through exhaustion. Will he make it to the final bell?
The Barbarian with the Thai clinch, lands a knee to the head.

It looks like Massive Wanker has been cut.
The Barbarian tries a knee to the head but Wanker blocks it.
The Barbarian tries to land a knee to the head but misses.
Wanker tries to pull guard but The Barbarian forces him back to his feet, against the cage.
The Barbarian throws a knee to the head but misses.

That's one minute gone in the round.
The Barbarian with an attempt at a knee that misses.
Wanker fails to pull the fight into his guard.

Wanker drags the fight down to the ground.
Wanker trying to control the position.

Wanker working from the bottom, still in full guard. He's managed to get a loose triangle. The Barbarian doesn't seem to be doing much to defend here, obviously he feels comfortable in the position. The Barbarian manages to throw the legs off his shoulder and he's back into guard - no problem.
Wanker is trying to keep The Barbarian in close.
Massive Wanker has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The Barbarian tries to stand but Wanker is controlling from the bottom.
The referee claps his hands together and tells the fighters to work.
Wanker lands a beautiful sweep and he's now moved into his opponent's guard.

The Barbarian is looking to get back to his feet but can't, whilst Wanker is controlling him.
Wanker trying to control the position from guard on top but The Barbarian is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Wanker might have to switch it up a bit here because his efforts to control The Barbarian haven't been going to plan, at least at the current moment in time.
Wanker wants to pass the guard but The Barbarian is keeping the position.

The referee has stepped in and called for a break in the action. We'll restart on the feet.
The Barbarian moves out of range of the body kick from Wanker.
The Barbarian is looking to clinch but Wanker is avoiding it.
Wanker throws a fast counter high kick but The Barbarian manages to duck under it in time.
The Barbarian is looking to take this fight into the clinch.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are showing their displeasure at the lack of action as loud boos ring out around the arena.
Wanker pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
The Barbarian keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
The Barbarian takes one to the chin there.
The Barbarian doesn't manage to clinch there - Wanker circles away.
Wanker swings wildly with a hook that is half blocked by The Barbarian.
Horrible takedown attempt by Wanker or perhaps it was just good defense by The Barbarian, which made it look bad.
The Barbarian tries to clinch up.
The Barbarian uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Wanker.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!
The Barbarian tries to clinch but Wanker moves out of range.
A solid leg kick lands there for Wanker.
Wanker bobbing and weaving, closes the distance and lands a hook to the side of The Barbarian's head.

And that's the end of the fight!
I would just about give that final round to Massive Wanker.
I think The Barbarian has won this one but let's see what the judges have to say. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 5 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Richard Clark scores the fight 49:47
Judge Andrew Berry scores the fight 49:47
Judge Phil Schofield scores the fight 48:47

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Conor The Barbarian!

Conor The Barbarian retains his heavyweight title!
After winning the bout, Conor The Barbarian thanked all his fans and promised he'd do even better in his next fight. The crowd seemed to love his humility.
S C
A
G S C
B
G S C G energy
A | B
hype
A | B
pop
A | B
mgr
A | B
FIGHT
RATING
43%
 
 
 
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