PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a lightweight MMA rules bout between Eric Cartman (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Jean Valjean (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Valjean has chosen Saftey dance as his entrance music. Eric Cartman has a significant reach advantage - let's see if he can make it count.

Cartman
vs
Valjean

199 cm
23
160 lbs
6 - 3 - 0

172 cm
25
160 lbs
3 - 7 - 0

BJJ White Belt
Solid boxing
Good chin

BJJ Blue Belt
Good kicks
Knockout power

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the lightweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 6 - 3 - 0, fighting out of Montreal, Eric Cartman!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 3 - 7 - 0, fighting out of Montreal, Jean Valjean!
The judges for this bout are Yves DeLean, Ian Loll and Elvis Blanc.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Valjean looks to land a left hand but Cartman moved out of range nicely.
Valjean misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Valjean throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Valjean throws a wild combination but nothing lands.
Valjean looks to score with a jab to the body but Cartman is just out of range.
A head kick misses from Valjean.
Valjean misses with a double jab.
Valjean digs a good hook to Cartman's body.
Valjean misses with a jab, cross combination.
An inside leg kick lands from Valjean.
Cartman takes a hook to the side of the head. I wonder if that's got his ears ringing.
Valjean throws a right hand that Cartman ducks under and follows up with a left that Cartman also avoids with ease.
Valjean looks to land a right hand but Cartman moved out of range.
A punch combination from Valjean misses.
Cartman ducks under a wild hook from Valjean.
Valjean misses with an attempted mid kick.
Cartman throws a series of punches but Valjean moves out of range.
Valjean walks into a left hand.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Cartman keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.

Valjean drops Cartman with a beautiful combination! Cartman stares up at his opponent, who ushers him back to his feet - Valjean is looking for the KO!

Cartman is rocked!

It looks like Eric Cartman has been cut.
Valjean throws a lazy right hand but Cartman sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
Valjean scores with a leg kick.
Valjean looks gassed!
Valjean attempts a leg kick but it's missed by a good margin.
Valjean fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Cartman manages to avoid it.
Valjean swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Valjean avoids the clinch attempt nicely.
Cartman throws a combination but comes up with nothing but fresh air.
Valjean throws a head kick that misses.
Cartman throws a combination but it was largely blocked by Valjean.
Valjean throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Cartman sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Valjean throws a jab, cross combination which is slipped
and Cartman counters with a stiff right hand.
Valjean shapes like he's going to throw a leg kick but settles back down.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Valjean throws a nice inside leg kick.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Cartman throws a head kick that misses
letting Valjean counter with a right hand.
Cartman walks forward, straight into a front kick from Valjean.
Valjean scores with a leg kick.
Cartman keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Valjean.
Cartman uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Valjean.
Valjean scores with a nice body kick.
Cartman bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Valjean is really struggling to land any decent head shots against his taller opponent.
Decent striking displayed by Valjean there.
Cartman really does look like a pencil wearing a pair of gloves. Let's hope he has a gameplan to suit that ridiculous body shape.
Good leg kick by Valjean there. It's the ones that make that thud noise that hurt and that was an almighty thud.
Valjean lands an overhand right.
Valjean with a hook.
Valjean looking to take his opponent's legs away with the low kicks.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Valjean works over Cartman's head and body with a nice combination.
Valjean misses with a body kick.
Valjean throws a push kick but Cartman slaps the foot to one side.
Valjean throws a shot from downtown. Cartman moves away and avoids it.
Valjean closes the distance and lands a one-two.
Jean Valjean seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Cartman keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Valjean.
Valjean throws a nice inside leg kick.
Valjean throws a left and a right that both miss
and Cartman counters with a lovely straight right hand!
A head kick misses from Valjean.
Valjean misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Cartman throws a right and a left that both miss.
Valjean throws a combination that misses
and Cartman connects with a straight left hand counter down the middle.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Valjean walks into a jab.
Valjean looking to land some kicks to the body here.
Valjean swings away but doesn't land with a series of punches.
Valjean throws a body punch but Cartman moves out of range.
Cartman tries to score with a leg kick but it misses it's target.
Valjean buckles his opponent's knee momentarily with a nice leg kick.
A big right from Valjean misses.
Cartman moves out of range of the body kick.
Valjean just misses with a punch to the body.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Valjean throws a body kick but he was well out of range there.
No joy there for Cartman, who threw a few shots but didn't land.
Valjean goes to the watering hole and comes back with a big thumbs up from the judges as he scores a three punch combo.
Valjean misses the body punch
and Cartman counters with a two punch combo.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Jean Valjean dominated that round.
The cut man is working on Eric Cartman's cut.
That's time! Back to the action!

Cartman lands with a cross to side of his opponent's head.
Valjean throws a low kick but it's checked well by Cartman.
Danga de danga de dang - Cartman scores with a four punch combination!
Valjean thumps Cartman with a low kick.
Valjean throws a good cross that connects.
Jean Valjean seems to be getting the better of the standup.
Valjean throws a left and a right that both miss
and Cartman counters with a three punch combination, finished off with a leg kick. Nice work.
Valjean throws a head kick but Cartman moves out of range.
Cartman looks shocked there as he takes a right hand to the temple.
Valjean throws a jab, cross combination which is slipped
and Cartman counters with a three punch combo that has Valjean backing up. Valjean nods at Cartman to acknowledge the strikes.
Valjean throws a jab but it's blocked by Cartman.
Cartman gets cracked there but stands up to it.
Both fighters are absolutely exhausted here.
Valjean feints and then cracks Cartman's leading leg with a nice low kick. He's obviously looking to slow Cartman down.
Cartman blocks a head kick by Valjean.

That's one minute gone in the round.
A big left from Valjean misses.
Valjean jabbing away but nothing is landing.
We are yet to see a takedown attempt from Valjean in the fight. On paper you would think he is the more dominant ground fighter so let's see if these unusual tactics pay off.
Cartman ducks under a wild hook from Valjean.
Cartman thows a leg kick but Valjean checks it
and Valjean makes the exchange count by landing a cracking kick to the body. Cartman really felt that one!
Cartman misses with a series of wild punches.
Eric Cartman is looking to throw some combinations by the looks of things.
Valjean turns his hip over beautifully as he lands a nice leg kick.
Valjean bobs and weaves and throws out a fast jab that snaps Cartman's head backwards.
Valjean scores with a nice strike.
Valjean swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Valjean misses with a straight right.
Valjean lands with a straight right. Cartman didn't see that one coming.
Valjean missing with a left hand there. Cartman was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are starting to boo a lack of action.
Valjean circles away from the clinch attempt.
Valjean misses with a kick to the body.
Valjean throws out a leg kick but Cartman moves out of range and Valjean only half commits.
Valjean tries a low kick but Cartman avoids it.
Cartman keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Valjean.
Valjean misses with an uppercut. Cartman saw that one coming.
Valjean throws a sloppy head kick and Cartman moves out of range easily.
Valjean takes a big uppercut there. He seems a bit wobbly but no, he's OK.
Valjean swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Cartman fails in his attempt to clinch.
Valjean fakes with a right hand and throws a good leg kick, right into the thigh. That had to hurt Cartman.
Valjean throws a head kick that looked like it stung.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Cartman throws a combination but it was largely blocked by Valjean.
Valjean scores with a slapping inside leg kick.
Cartman slips under a jab.
Cartman avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Jean Valjean is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
Cartman avoids a kick to the body.
Valjean jabbing away but nothing is landing.
Cartman works over Valjean's head and body with a nice combination.
Valjean ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Cartman moves away.
Cartman lands a pitter patter jab to the forehead of his opponent.
Valjean falls off balance throwing a combination
and Cartman counters with a series of strikes. Valjean will be more careful next time no doubt.
Valjean throws a body punch but Cartman moves out of range.
Left hook, right uppercut from Cartman.
Cartman is hobbling a little on that front leg after taking quite a few leg kicks so far in this fight.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
A lull in the action here being met with boos from the crowd.
An inside leg kick lands from Valjean.
Valjean jabs at Cartman's body.
Cartman is using his height advantage well here, landing a good percentage of his punches.
A telegraphed right hand from Valjean misses the target.
Valjean goes for a high kick. It partially lands.
Some wild striking there from Cartman.
Valjean connects with a lovely right hand, straight down the pipe.
Cartman keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Valjean.
Valjean misses with a double jab
and Cartman counters with a left to the body.
Valjean pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Valjean clobbers Cartman with an overhand right that has the crowd gasping. That made a horrendous noise.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Jean Valjean showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
The cut man is working on Eric Cartman's cut.
OK. That's time! The bell goes and we're back to the action. This is the final round!

Valjean swings wildly with a hook that is half blocked by Cartman.
Valjean throws a head kick that misses.
Valjean throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Valjean misses with a wild combination.
Cartman ducks under a wild hook from Valjean.
Valjean misses with a body shot
and Cartman counters with a right hand to the body.
Cartman lands a jab. Then a cross. Then finally a nice hook to the body. Good work there by Cartman.
Cartman takes a step towards his opponent and connects with a left hand, before circling away.
Valjean tries a low kick but Cartman avoids it.
Cartman ducks under a wild hook from Valjean.
Cartman scores with a one two! Valjean had his feet all tangled up there and couldn't avoid the strikes.
Both fighters are breathing heavily.
Valjean throws a quick inside leg kick.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Cartman blocks a head kick by Valjean.
Valjean tries a head kick but it misses.
Valjean tries a head kick but it misses.
Valjean misses with a kick to the body.
Valjean scores with a decent looking hook.
Valjean throws a head kick that misses.
Cartman moves out of range of the body kick.
Cartman lands with a two punch combination before moving back out of range.
Valjean missing with a left hand there. Cartman was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
Valjean swings away with a body shot that misses
and Cartman counters nicely by changing levels and landing a hook to the body.
A head kick misses from Valjean.
Valjean lands with a nice body punch.
Cartman rushes forward with a series of wild hooks but Valjean moves out of range and avoids them all easily.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are getting on the fighters' backs, as the pace has dropped off in the last minute or so.
Valjean throws a left and a right that both miss
and Valjean takes a counter punch right on the button for his troubles.
Valjean moves out of range of the leg kick from Cartman.
Valjean throws a left and a right that both miss
and Cartman counters with a three punch combination, finished off with a leg kick. Nice work.
Eric Cartman has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
Valjean misses with a jab and misses with a cross straight after too.
Valjean misses with a telegraphed body shot
and Cartman counters with a stiff right hand.
Cartman moves out of range of the strikes.
Cartman slips a jab from Valjean.
Valjean will need to close the distance a bit before he attacks - that leg kick was thrown from too far away.
Valjean is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Cartman.
Cartman pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Cartman misses with a jab and misses with a cross straight after too.
Valjean looks to throw the jab but Cartman is out of range.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Valjean swings and misses with a shot to the body
and Cartman counters with a straight right hand.
Valjean misses with a head kick.
Valjean misses with a looping left.
Valjean fakes with the hands and throws a leg kick but Cartman is out of range.
Valjean tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
Cartman fails to land with a series of punches.
Valjean throws a nice outside leg kick.
Valjean throws a combination that misses
and Cartman counters with a left and a right that stings Valjean.
Cartman slips under a jab.
Valjean throws a sloppy head kick and Cartman moves out of range easily.
Cartman changes levels and looks for a double leg takedown. Valjean tries to avoid it but Cartman manages to keep hold of a leg and drag Valjean to the ground. Valjean escapes though and pops straight back up to his feet.
Valjean fails to land with a series of punches.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
A lull in the action here being met with boos from the crowd.
Valjean tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Cartman was well out of range. Poor timing from Valjean.
Cartman uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Valjean.
A head kick misses from Valjean.
Cartman looks to land a combination but Valjean avoids it well.
Valjean throws a body kick that misses.
Valjean has a pretty nasty looking mouse under his right eye.
Cartman blocks a head kick by Valjean.
Cartman stumbles momentarily as he takes a strong leg kick from Valjean.
Valjean throws a left and a right that both miss
and Cartman counters with a one-two to the body.
Valjean misses with the combination.
Valjean misses with a body shot
and Cartman counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
Valjean misses with a head kick.
Valjean throws a combination that misses
and Cartman counters with a one-two to the body.
Cartman is working the combinations to good effect here.
Jab, cross, leg kick. Nice combination by Cartman!

And that's the end of the fight!
Eric Cartman showed his dominance in that final round.
Well Valjean has outworked and out performed his opponent in all aspects of the game today. He was simply too good and the decision should be no more than a formality. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Yves DeLean scores the fight 28:29
Judge Ian Loll scores the fight 28:29
Judge Elvis Blanc scores the fight 28:29

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Jean Valjean!