PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a featherweight MMA rules bout between Nikola Tesla (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Hanz Titties (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Tesla comes to the cage accompanied by AC/DC's Thunderstruck. Man, I cannot wait for this one!

Tesla
vs
Titties

177 cm
25
154 lbs
11 - 3 - 0

180 cm
27
158 lbs
11 - 2 - 0

Decent wrestler
World class boxer
Very quick

Good wrestler
Excellent MT
Fast

Vodka Rags

[CBK] AJFC Smashwear clothing
MADE IN GERMANY

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the featherweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 11 - 3 - 0, fighting out of Hilo, Nikola Tesla!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 11 - 2 - 0, fighting out of Tokyo, Hanz Titties!
The judges for this bout are , and .

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Titties uses good footwork to get in and out and land a nice right hand before Tesla has time to react.
Titties slips under a jab.
The fighters circling - Tesla throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Titties misses with a body kick.
Tesla lands with a good body shot.
A head kick misses from Titties.
Titties throws an overhand right that lands on Tesla's shoulder, as Tesla tries to avoid the shot.
Like a baseball bat into the meat of his leg there - nice leg kick by Tesla.
Tesla scores with a punch to the gut of his opponent.
Tesla fails to land with the punch combination there - jab, cross, hook, miss, miss, miss.
Tesla tries to move into range but Titties moves to the side and lands with a nice right hand.
Titties scores with a jab to the head.
A looping hook to the body misses from Titties. Tesla does a little dance to reset his feet.
Titties throws a hook to the side of Tesla's head but Tesla sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
Titties just misses with a punch to the body.
Titties cracks Tesla with a hook to the jaw. Both fighters smile at eachother and high-five before getting back down to business.
Tesla takes an uppercut right on the jaw but it doesn't phase him.
Titties dips down and scores with a jab to the body.
Tesla wings a very wild body shot but it does the job and lands to the midsection.
Nikola Tesla seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Tesla misses with a telegraphed body shot
and Titties makes him pay by landing a thudding low kick.
Tesla tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Tesla swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Titties misses with an attempted mid kick.
Tesla blocks a head kick by Titties.
Titties just misses with a punch to the body.
Titties throws a body punch but Tesla moves out of range.
Titties looks to land a right hand but Tesla moved out of range.
Titties gets cracked with a nice right hand there by Tesla.
Titties lands with a straight right. Tesla didn't see that one coming.
Titties doesn't react quick enough there as he takes a shot to the body.
Tesla misses with a body shot.
Tesla is looking to wear down Titties with body shots, infact he's throwing more body shots than head shots at the moment.
Good work by Tesla as he checks the leg kick.
Titties on the wrong end of an overhand right that came out of nowhere.
Titties throws a looping left and ducks down for a takedown. He's got his arms around Tesla's waist but Tesla gets an underhook and avoids the takedown by throwing Titties off to one side.
Tesla sizes up Titties with a pawing jab and scores with a straight right down the middle.
Titties blocks a head kick by Tesla.
Tesla misses with a jab and misses with a cross straight after too.
Tesla scores with a sloppy punch to the body. Not much technique there but it did the business.
Jab from Tesla.
A decent looking cross lands there for Tesla.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Titties swings away with a leg kick that misses.
Tesla wants to clinch but Titties slips to the side
enabling Titties to counter with a crisp jab.
Tesla throws a shot to the body.
Tesla lands a nice hook to Titties's body. Titties takes it in his stride and looks to land his own strikes.

Tesla clinches with his opponent.
Titties goes for a takedown in the clinch but Tesla prevents it.
Titties looks gassed!
Tesla is trying to work out of this bad position, with his back against the cage.
Tesla wants to get back to striking at distance but Titties won't allow it.
Titties looking to slow down the pace here.

Tesla pushes off and circles away, back to the middle of the mat.
Titties looks shocked there as he takes a right hand to the temple.
Tesla looks to score with a jab to the body but Titties is just out of range.
Tesla scores with a nice right hand.
Titties throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Tesla throws a leg kick but Titties checks it.
Titties walks straight into a jab right on the nose. That one stung - he's blinking and trying to clear his head.
Titties swings away with a body shot that misses
letting Tesla counter with a right hand.
Jab by Tesla.
Titties digs a good body shot into Tesla's ribs.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
A punch combination from Titties misses.
Tesla checks a low kick. Bone on bone - not my idea of a good time.
Titties lands a nice shot that snaps Tesla's head back.
Titties waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Tesla.
Tesla slips under a jab.
Titties swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Titties throws a shot from downtown. Tesla moves away and avoids it.
Tesla uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Titties.
Titties throws a lazy right hand but Tesla sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
Tesla thuds a left hand into Titties's body.
Titties scores with a sloppy punch to the body. Not much technique there but it did the business.
Tesla scores with a straight right hand, right through his opponent's guard.
Tesla throws a nice hook to the body that draws an oooh from the crowd.
Tesla just misses with a punch to the body.
Tesla cracks a nice hook into Titties's ribs.
Tesla with a jab.
Tesla ducks down and throws a hook to the body.
Tesla jabs Titties right on the nose. Titties blinks but takes it well.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Tesla takes a step towards his opponent and connects with a left hand, before circling away.
Titties is looking to score with low kicks.
Titties throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Tesla just misses with a punch to the body.
Tesla connects with a right hand. Titties shakes it off.
Titties takes a shot right to the liver - Bas would have been proud of that punch.
Nice shot lands for Tesla.
Tesla bobbing and weaving, closes the distance and lands a hook to the side of Titties's head.
Tesla ducks under a wild hook from Titties.
Tesla paws at his opponent with the jab and then lunges in with a straight, right on the button.
Titties shoots in for a takedown. He's persisting with it as Tesla sprawls well. Tesla wins this battle and keeps the fight standing. Titties gets slowly back to his feet.
Nikola Tesla has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Hanz Titties.
Tesla lands a body shot.
The crowd applaud the fighters efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Jab by Tesla.
Tesla changes levels and scores with a jab to the body.
Tesla misses with a looping left.
Titties throws a sloppy body shot
and Tesla counters with a crisp hook to the side of the head.
Tesla avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Nikola Tesla dominated that round.
That's the end of the interval. I'm sure that seemed a lot quicker than a minute for our two fighters! Back to the action.

Tesla scores with a nice right hand.
Boom, another hit is landed. "You're gunna get knocked out" taunts Tesla, as that shot connected.
Tesla tests Titties's chin there with a solid looking shot.
Titties throws a head kick that misses
letting Tesla counter with a right hand.
Titties thows a body shot but no joy.
Tesla misses the shot to the body.
Tesla fakes a jab and throws a low kick but Titties checks it well.
Tesla lands a right hook to the body.
Titties throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Tesla lands with a shot to the body.
Tesla changes levels and scores with a jab to the body.
Titties throws a combination but comes up with nothing but fresh air.
Jab from Tesla.
Tesla cracks Titties with a nice right hand that draws applause from the crowd.
Titties misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Tesla.
Titties is breathing heavily.
Tesla is looking to clinch but Titties is avoiding it.
Titties has a pretty nasty looking mouse under his right eye.
Tesla scores with a straight right hand, right through his opponent's guard.
Titties takes one to the chin there.
Tesla lands with a cross to side of his opponent's head.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Tesla keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Tesla misses with a hook to the body

and Titties counters with a single leg into guard. Tesla didn't expect that.
Tesla wants to stand but Titties is controlling the position.
Titties working some ground and pound from guard but it's not doing any damage.
Tesla working the defensive guard well to avoid strikes from Titties.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Titties trying to control but Tesla is working from the bottom.
Titties seems content to control from guard here. He's going to have to remain active though if he doesn't want to get stood back up.
If this pace continues, the referee will definitely step in and force a standup.
A big thud reverberates around the arena there as Titties accidentally thumps the mat. Hopefully he's not broken his hand.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Tesla keeping moving, preventing Titties from controlling successfully.

The ref stands the fighters back up, due to lack of action by Hanz Titties.
Thud! ouch! good body kick from Titties - that will leave a mark!
Tesla swings away with a body shot that misses
and he gets countered with a snapping leg kick.
Titties darts in and out, connecting with a jab.
Titties tries a low kick but Tesla avoids it.
Tesla connects with a slap. Keep your fist closed son.
Titties misses with a body kick.
Tesla swings and misses with a hook to the body.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Tesla throws a leg kick
and Titties counters with a low kick, right behind Tesla 's knee.
Tesla throws a lazy right hand but Titties sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
Nikola Tesla is winning the standup battle so far.
Titties takes a punch right to his stomach. That took the wind out of him momentarily.
Nice defenses there by Tesla.
Titties's hands are dropping dangerously low here and Tesla connects clean with a right hook that sends him down to one knee! Titties scrambles back to his feet.
Tesla is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Titties.
Titties lands with a nice low kick. That'll leave a bruise.
Tesla dips down and scores with a jab to the body.
Titties misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Tesla.
Titties takes a shot to the body in his stride.
Tesla misses with a telegraphed body shot
enabling Titties to counter with a crisp jab.
Tesla takes a shot right to the bread basket.
Titties does a little shimmy and throws a leg kick. The leg kick missed by a considerable margin though, making him look a little bit silly for doing the shimmy.
Titties digs a good body shot into Tesla's ribs.
The crowd applaud the fighters efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Titties has his hands up protecting his head but a hook from Tesla finds it's way round the side to connect with Titties's head.
Titties throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Tesla takes a step back and watches a body kick go sailing past his mid section.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Hanz Titties showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
That's time! Tesla's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight. This is the final round!

Titties throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Tesla moves out of range as Titties strikes.
Tesla takes a step towards his opponent and connects with a left hand, before circling away.
Tesla keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Tesla throws a nice hook to the body that draws an oooh from the crowd.
Titties slips a straight right by Tesla.
Titties works Tesla's body with a nice hook.
Tesla misses with a hook to the body
and Titties counters with a nice jab to the body that keeps Tesla thinking.
Titties bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Titties tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Tesla was well out of range. Poor timing from Titties.
Tesla misses with a telegraphed body shot
and he gets countered with a snapping leg kick.
A jab from Titties does it's job there.
Titties misses with a jab to the body
and Tesla counters nicely by changing levels and landing a hook to the body.
Tesla ducks under a wild hook from Titties.
Tesla throws a head kick that misses.
Tesla leaves Titties with his face pressed against the mat as he sprawls beautifully, defending against a solid takedown attempt.
Titties takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.
Titties takes a really solid shot there but just smiles back and shrugs his shoulders.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Tesla throws a hook but Titties avoids it easily.
Tesla misses with a wild body shot.
Tesla rushes forward with a series of wild hooks but Titties moves out of range and avoids them all easily.
Titties with a body punch. A glancing blow.
Nice body kick from Titties.
Titties misses with a shot to the body
letting Tesla counter with a right hand.
Tesla lands a right hook to the body.
A low kick from Tesla is predictable there
and Titties counters with a solid body kick.
Titties is looking to land body kicks.
Tesla throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
A big left from Tesla misses.
Titties on the wrong end of a nice hook.
Titties keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Titties misses with a few strikes there.
Tesla throws a looping overhand right but Titties ducks down to avoid it.
Tesla slips under a jab from Titties.
Tesla scores with a sloppy punch to the body. Not much technique there but it did the business.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Titties throws a low kick but it's checked well by Tesla.
Tesla lands a nice looking body shot.
Titties swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Tesla is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Titties.
Titties walks straight into a jab right on the nose. That one stung - he's blinking and trying to clear his head.
Titties takes a jab right on the kisser.
Tesla throws a wild combination but nothing lands.
Tesla throws a body punch but Titties moves out of range.
Nikola Tesla is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
Tesla paws at his opponent with the jab and then lunges in with a straight, right on the button.
Tesla lands with a good body shot.
Tesla ducks down and throws a hook to the body.
Tesla throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
Tesla swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Titties misses with a hook. Tesla ducked under it nicely.
The sound of bone on bone echoes around the arena as Titties checks a leg kick.
Tesla smiles there as he lands a nice right hand right on the button.
Titties throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Tesla sees it coming and avoids it easily.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Titties keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Tesla.
Tesla lands a powerful looking uppercut that connected with his opponent's jaw.
Tesla connects with a crisp jab.
Good work by Titties as he checks the leg kick.
Titties connects with a body shot that sends Tesla's belly button to the back.
Titties throws a body punch but Tesla moves out of range.
Tesla swings and misses with a shot to the body
and Titties connects with a straight left hand counter down the middle.
Titties takes a jab on the nose. He smiles like he loves it and keeps coming.
Titties tries to move into range but Tesla moves to the side and lands with a nice right hand.
Titties throws a sloppy head kick and Tesla moves out of range easily.
Tesla lands with a cross.
Tesla jabbing away but nothing is landing.
Tesla lands a nice shot to the body.
Tesla ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Titties moves away.
Titties misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Tesla.
Tesla swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Titties shoots in looking for a double leg takedown. Tesla defends it nicely.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Titties throws a head kick but Tesla moves out of range.
Titties misses with a body shot
letting Tesla counter with a right hand.
Titties blocks a head kick by Tesla.
Titties misses with a looping right.
Tesla connects with a looping left hand that seems like it dazed Titties momentarily.
A decent looking cross lands there for Tesla.
Titties blocks a low kick nicely.
Titties on the wrong end of an overhand right that came out of nowhere.
Titties ducks right into an uppercut from Tesla.
A solid leg kick lands there for Tesla.
Titties bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Tesla dips down and scores with a jab to the body.
Titties lands with an overhand left.
Tesla dips down and scores with a jab to the body.
Tesla misses with a shot to the body
and Titties connects with a straight left hand counter down the middle.

And that's the end of the fight!
Nikola Tesla showed his dominance in that final round.
I think Tesla has won this one but let's see what the judges have to say. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Andi Peters scores the fight 29:28
Judge Gordon Ramsey scores the fight 29:28
Judge Frank Skinner scores the fight 29:28

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Nikola Tesla!