PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a lightweight MMA rules bout between Napoleon Dynamite (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Ike Turner (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). These two fighters really are very evenly matched on the feet - it will be fascinating to see who can assert themselves in that aspect of the fight.

Dynamite
vs
Turner

178 cm
27
168 lbs
15 - 10 - 1

175 cm
28
166 lbs
15 - 10 - 0

Good wrestling
Excellent boxer
Cardio machine

Good wrestler
Lethal high kicks
Good gas tank

Affordable Quality + Reliable Laundry

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the lightweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 15 - 10 - 1, fighting out of London, Napoleon Dynamite!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 15 - 10 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Ike Turner!
The judges for this bout are George Francis, Chris Downing and Tiny Johnson.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Dynamite throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Turner sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Turner avoids the head kick by Dynamite.
Dynamite misses with a hook.
Turner lands a body shot.
Dynamite throws a right hand that misses
and Turner counters with a crisp hook to the side of the head.
Turner motions for Dynamite to come forward. Turner throws a leg kick but it misses it's target.
Turner throws a leg kick which misses Dynamite's front leg but catches the back leg as Dynamite tries to avoid it.
Turner looks for the body kick but Dynamite saw that one coming.
Turner steps to his left, right into the path of a big body kick from Dynamite. That one must have hurt.
Dynamite takes a thudding leg kick, right into the meat of the thigh.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Dynamite scores with a body shot.
The fighters circling - Dynamite throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Dynamite takes a head kick and shrugs it off.
Turner tries to clinch there but Dynamite circles away.
A lazy left from Dynamite finds it's target.
Dynamite lands a beauty of a right hand that gets the crowd cheering.
Turner looks for the body kick but Dynamite saw that one coming.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Dynamite throws a series of punches but Turner avoids them all with ease.
Dynamite loads up on a big right hand but Turner slips the punch.
Dynamite scores with the left hand. Turner knows he should have avoided that one.
Dynamite misses with a head kick.
Dynamite lands with a nice body punch.
Turner throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Turner pivots, looking for a leg kick but Dynamite is out of range and Turner settles back down.
That's a knee to de groin and it's over and out! Dynamite crumples to the ground after an illegal strike from Turner - the referee stops the clock and Dynamite gets 5 minutes to recover from that one. "I'm sorry" says Turner. Dynamite manages to get back to his feet and the fight resumes.
Dynamite throws a low kick, looking for Turner's leg but Turner calmly moves out of range.
Some bone on bone action there as Dynamite checks a low kick. Luckily it wasn't a particularly hard one.
Turner throws a body kick that digs right into the meat.
Dynamite pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Dynamite tries to land a leg kick but Turner saw it coming and moves away.
Dynamite staying out of range there.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Turner throws a leg kick

and Dynamite counters with a nice single leg takedown and he's in Turner's guard now.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Dynamite throws a big right hand that misses.
Turner seems keen to control Dynamite's posture.
Dynamite trying to control the position from guard on top but Turner is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.

The ref calls for a clean break and stands the fighters back up. Ike Turner wasn't active enough on the ground.
Turner slips under a jab.
Turner displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Dynamite throws out the jab.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Thud! ouch! good body kick from Turner - that will leave a mark!
Turner dips to his left and cracks Dynamite with an uppercut!
A bone on bone clash there as Turner blocks the leg kick.
Turner misses with a low kick.
Dynamite scores with a nice strike.
Dynamite motions for Turner to come forward. Dynamite throws a leg kick but it misses it's target.
Turner cracks a nice hook into Dynamite's ribs.
Turner dances in quickly and lands a nice inside leg kick on Dynamite. That did some damage!
Dynamite scores with a jab.
Turner throws a decent looking leg kick but it doesn't land clean.
Dynamite punishes Turner's body with a nice straight punch.

Turner closes the distance and clinches.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Turner stalling in the clinch but Dynamite improves position.
Dynamite working on landing some head shots here - that one got through nicely.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The referee is keeping an eye on Turner - much more stalling and he will separate the fighters.
A shot in the inside from Turner.
Dynamite tries a knee to the head but he's missed.
Dynamite misses with a knee to the head.
Dynamite has a couple of punches blocked by Turner.
I was talking to Dynamite's coach per-fight and he was telling me that they'd been working on the clinch in the runup to this fight.

Turner's corner calls for him to break the clinch, which he does.
Turner throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Dynamite throws a front kick aimed at Turner's knee but Turner avoids it well.
Turner dances in quickly and lands a nice inside leg kick on Dynamite. That did some damage!
Dynamite misses with a lunging right hand
and Turner counters with a nice kick to the body.
Turner uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Dynamite.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Turner misses with a straight left.
Turner misses with a low kick.
Nice jab there from Turner.
Dynamite thumps Turner with a low kick.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Ike Turner dominated that round.
The fighters get back to their feet, the hooter sounds and we're back to the action!

Dynamite lands a jab.
An inside leg kick lands from Dynamite.
Turner thows a body shot but no joy.
Turner ducks under a wild hook from Dynamite.
Good leg kick by Dynamite there. It's the ones that make that thud noise that hurt and that was an almighty thud.
Turner staying out of range there.
A nice leg kick lands there from Turner.
Turner looking to land some kicks to the body here.
Turner throws a jab to the body, straight down the pipe. Boom. That sent Dynamite stumbling backwards but he manages to regain his composure quickly.
Dynamite throws a jab but it's blocked by Turner.
Turner slips under a jab from Dynamite.
Dynamite tests Turner's chin there with a solid looking shot.
Turner buckles his opponent's knee momentarily with a nice leg kick.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Turner checks a low kick from Dynamite.
Dynamite misses with a lunging right hand
and he gets countered with a snapping leg kick.
Turner is throwing a lot of body shots here, looking to wear down Dynamite rather than just go for the knockout.
Dynamite is looking to land body kicks.
Dynamite checks a leg kick nicely.
Dynamite swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Dynamite throws a body punch but Turner moves out of range.
Turner throws the kick towards the body but Dynamite avoids it.
Turner misses with a body shot.
Turner is looking to clinch but Dynamite is avoiding it.
An inside leg kick lands from Dynamite.
Turner throws a sloppy head kick and Dynamite moves out of range easily.
Turner just misses with a punch to the body.
Dynamite throws the kick towards the body but Turner avoids it.
Turner misses with a low kick.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Dynamite chopped to the floor by a nice leg kick but he springs right back up before Turner can pounce on him.

Turner rushes Dynamite and pushes him back against the cage in a clinch.
Turner lands a hook that snaps the head of Dynamite backwards.
Dynamite changes levels and goes for a takedown here. Turner fights it off and pushes away nicely.
Turner throws a combination that misses

so Dynamite counters with a double leg into guard. Good agility.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Dynamite slows down the pace of the fight for a moment. He'll need to remain active if he doesn't want to see the fight stood back up.
Dynamite wants to control from the top but Turner keeps moving.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
We've had a lack of effective grappling in the last minute or so, which could well see a referee standup.
Dynamite throwing shots from guard but he's hitting more mat than opponent.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.

The ref stands the fighters back up. Napoleon Dynamite wasn't doing enough on the ground.
Dynamite misses with a hook. Turner ducked under it nicely.
Dynamite misses the jab.
Turner misses with a kick to the body.
Turner lands an overhand left. A wild punch that just about connected.
Jab, jab by Dynamite - just one landing.
Dynamite lands with a thumping leg kick.
An inside leg kick lands from Dynamite.
Turner looks to land a combination. Dynamite sees it coming but can only parry a couple of the shots.
Dynamite checks a low kick from Turner.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Dynamite dips to his left and cracks Turner with an uppercut!

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Turner tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
Turner throws the kick towards the body but Dynamite avoids it.
Turner connects with a leg kick. He turned his hip over nicely there.
Dynamite on the receiving end of a decent leg kick there by Turner. Turner obviously looking to wear him down.
Dynamite scores with a shot to the body.
Dynamite is hobbling a little on that front leg after taking quite a few leg kicks so far in this fight.
Turner misses with a body kick.
Dynamite moving in and out of range nicely, whilst landing the scoring shot.
Turner throws a low kick but Dynamite avoids it.
Turner fakes with the hands and throws a leg kick but Dynamite is out of range.
Dynamite looks to throw the jab but Turner is out of range.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Turner pivots, looking for a leg kick but Dynamite is out of range and Turner settles back down.
Turner dodges the punch combination from Dynamite.
Good work by Dynamite as he checks the leg kick.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

A close second round but Ike Turner will probably get the nod - 10:9.
The corners get their ten second warning. Both fighters stand from their stools and stare eachother down, ready to get back to the action. This is the final round!

Dynamite throws a chopping leg kick but Turner manages to avoid taking any serious damage.
Turner ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Dynamite throws a jab but it's blocked by Turner.
Dynamite lands a vicious shot with the stealth of a sniper and the strength of a viper. Are vipers that strong? I can think of lots of things that are stronger than a viper - not many rhyme with sniper though.
Dynamite lands a jab to the head.
Turner tries a head kick but it misses.
Turner throws a body kick that misses.
Dynamite drops his hands and takes a jab to the jaw for his troubles.
Turner throws a low kick, looking for Dynamite's leg but Dynamite calmly moves out of range.
Dynamite jabs Turner right on the nose. Turner blinks but takes it well.
Dynamite throws a low kick, looking for Turner's leg but Turner calmly moves out of range.
Dynamite connects with a leg kick. He turned his hip over nicely there.
Turner takes an uppercut right on the jaw but it doesn't phase him.
Dynamite swings and misses with a hook to the body.

That's one minute gone in the round.
An inside leg kick lands from Turner.
Turner ducks under a wild hook from Dynamite.
Turner walks into a jab.
Turner fakes a jab and throws a low kick but Dynamite checks it well.
Dynamite tries to score with a low kick but Turner moves his leg out of the way.
Turner throws a leg kick that is checked

and Dynamite counters with a shoot takedown into half guard.
Dynamite looks to land a strike but Turner avoids it nicely and regains full guard.
Turner preventing the ground and pound from doing any damage.
Dynamite throws a strike but Turner rolls with it and manages to sweep. Now he's in guard on top.
Dynamite is trying to hold Turner in close to prevent damage but Turner has managed to pass into half guard.
Napoleon Dynamite has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Dynamite pushes Turner off but Turner dives into side control.
Ike Turner is fighting for a decision - hopefully he's judged it right and he's actually winning the fight.
Dynamite is trying to improve his position.
Dynamite is working hard here to advance position.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Dynamite stops Turner from passing to mount.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Turner working away.
Turner wants to lay and pray for a moment but Dynamite keeps working.
Dynamite tries to improve position but can't.
The referee looks like he's ready to step in and stand the fighters back up.
Dynamite is trying to control Turner's posture but Turner avoids it.

That's four minutes gone in the round.

Well, the referee has seen enough. Neither fighter is active enough on the ground so he's stood them back up.
Turner throws a head kick that misses.
Turner buckles his opponent's knee momentarily with a nice leg kick.
Turner turns his hip over beautifully as he lands a nice leg kick.
Turner throws a half hearted mid kick.
Turner missing with a left hand there. Dynamite was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
Dynamite misses with an uppercut.
Thud! ouch! good body kick from Turner - that will leave a mark!
Nice defenses there by Turner.
Turner uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Dynamite.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Turner throws a quick inside leg kick.
Turner moves out of range of the strikes.
Turner misses with a kick to the body.

And that's the end of the fight!
Napoleon Dynamite showed his dominance in that final round.
I think Turner has won this one but let's see whether the judges agree with me. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge George Francis scores the fight 28:29
Judge Chris Downing scores the fight 28:29
Judge Tiny Johnson scores the fight 28:29

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Ike Turner!
A very excited looking Ike Turner made sure he remembered to thank all the fans both in the arena and on the internet. He said all the coolest people spend all day on MMA websites, which got a big reaction.