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PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between Dumb McWasteoffuckingtime (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Ben Jackson (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). McWasteoffuckingtime comes to the cage accompanied by Miracle - We Ain't Scared. I'm sure you'll be fascinated to know that I was talking to some pointless Z list celebrity before the fight and he thought that Ben Jackson was going to win. Let's see if he was right.



185 cm
29
195 lbs
13 - 8 - 0
190 cm
26
220 lbs
12 - 5 - 0
Great wrestler
World class boxer
Insanely flexible
Good wrestler
World class boxer
Granite chin


-


AnonymouS


Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the light heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 13 - 8 - 0, fighting out of Amsterdam, Dumb McWasteoffuckingtime!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 12 - 5 - 0, fighting out of New York, Ben Jackson!
The judges for this bout are Dmitry Maklakov, Vladimir Khabensky and Konstantin Menshow.




The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
A head kick misses from McWasteoffuckingtime.
McWasteoffuckingtime misses the shot to the body.
McWasteoffuckingtime misses the jab.
McWasteoffuckingtime wants to clinch.
We've been informed that Jackson has been sparring a lot of Muay Thai in the buildup to this fight so let's see if that has an impact on the result.
Jackson pivots as if he's going to throw a leg kick but stops half way.
McWasteoffuckingtime uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Jackson.
McWasteoffuckingtime lands a slapping body shot.
McWasteoffuckingtime with a nice cross.
Jackson avoids a kick to the body.
Like a baseball bat into the meat of his leg there - nice leg kick by McWasteoffuckingtime.
McWasteoffuckingtime misses with a looping right.
Jackson ducks right into an uppercut from McWasteoffuckingtime.
McWasteoffuckingtime throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Jackson throws out a token jab with nothing on it.

That's one minute gone in the round.
McWasteoffuckingtime is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Jackson.
A nice leg kick lands there from Jackson.
The fighters circle momentarily. Jackson darts into range and connects with a nice straight punch.
Jackson throws a body punch but McWasteoffuckingtime moves out of range.
Jackson's jab looks to have found its range, popping McWasteoffuckingtime under the eye.
McWasteoffuckingtime throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Jackson sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Jackson moves out of range of the body kick.
Jackson tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but McWasteoffuckingtime was well out of range. Poor timing from Jackson.
Jackson feints a straight left to the body, then turns around with a flashy move and hits McWasteoffuckingtimes jaw with a dramatic spinning back fist!
McWasteoffuckingtime lands a right hook to the body.
McWasteoffuckingtime lands a vicious shot with the stealth of a sniper and the strength of a viper. Are vipers that strong? I can think of lots of things that are stronger than a viper - not many rhyme with sniper though.
A slow jab from McWasteoffuckingtime misses its intended target.
McWasteoffuckingtime misses with a head kick.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
McWasteoffuckingtime fakes and then throws a beautiful body shot. Jackson looks a bit winded and takes a step backwards to take a breath.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
McWasteoffuckingtime attempts a low kick but it misses it's target.
McWasteoffuckingtime uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Jackson.
McWasteoffuckingtime misses with a wild body shot.
Jackson loads up on a big right hand but McWasteoffuckingtime slips the punch.
Jackson looks to throw the jab but McWasteoffuckingtime is out of range.
McWasteoffuckingtime ducks under a wild hook from Jackson.
A telegraphed right hand from Jackson misses the target.
McWasteoffuckingtime looks to have improved his striking defense since last time we saw him fight.
Jackson throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Jackson takes a head kick and shrugs it off.
McWasteoffuckingtime misses with an uppercut
and Jackson counters with a left to the body.
McWasteoffuckingtime swinging wildly here.
A big right from McWasteoffuckingtime misses.
McWasteoffuckingtime checks a leg kick nicely.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Jackson avoids the clinch attempt nicely.
McWasteoffuckingtime throws an overhand right that lands on Jackson's shoulder, as Jackson tries to avoid the shot.
McWasteoffuckingtime throws a nice inside leg kick.
Jackson looks to score with a jab to the body but McWasteoffuckingtime is just out of range.
Jackson misses the shot to the body.
McWasteoffuckingtime lands a jab-cross combination.
McWasteoffuckingtime swinging wildly here.
An inside leg kick from McWasteoffuckingtime misses.
McWasteoffuckingtime tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
McWasteoffuckingtime takes a step towards his opponent and connects with a left hand, before circling away.
McWasteoffuckingtime misses with an uppercut
and Jackson counters with a nice uppercut.
Jackson moving in and out of range nicely, whilst landing the scoring shot.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
McWasteoffuckingtime throws a body punch but Jackson moves out of range.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
McWasteoffuckingtime connects nicely with a jab. Noted by the judges no doubt.
McWasteoffuckingtime swings for the body but Jackson moves out of range.
McWasteoffuckingtime lands a head shot.
Dumb McWasteoffuckingtime seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Jackson lands with a nice body punch.
Jackson turns his hip over beautifully as he lands a nice leg kick.
McWasteoffuckingtime is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Jackson.
Jackson takes a jab right on the nose. That must have hurt but he shrugs his shoulders and looks to return the favor.
McWasteoffuckingtime looks to land a right hand but Jackson moved out of range.
Jackson loads up on a big right hand but McWasteoffuckingtime slips the punch.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
McWasteoffuckingtime scores with a nice one two combo and darts back out of range to avoid anything coming in the opposite direction.
McWasteoffuckingtime connects with a lovely right hand, straight down the pipe.
McWasteoffuckingtime tries to score with an inside leg kick but telegraphs it and Jackson is able to avoid easily.
Nice defenses there by Jackson.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Dumb McWasteoffuckingtime dominated that round.
Well, the break between rounds is over. Let's get back to the scrappin!


Jackson throws a nice hook to the body that draws an oooh from the crowd.
McWasteoffuckingtime connects with a leg kick. Jackson looked like he was expecting something else and didn't defend it.
A swing and a miss from Jackson.
McWasteoffuckingtime pulls out of a head kick attempt.
McWasteoffuckingtime pushes forward with a 1-2 combination that forces Jackson back to the cage. McWasteoffuckingtime follows up with a solid lead hook to the liver.
Jackson scores with a big left there. The judges will like that one.
McWasteoffuckingtime pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Jackson slips in close and lands a nice hook before moving back out of range.
McWasteoffuckingtime has not gone for a single takedown so far in this fight, which seems like a very strange tactic when you consider that he has the superior wrestling and BJJ.
Jackson throws a wild body kick that McWasteoffuckingtime sees coming a mile off.
McWasteoffuckingtime misses with a body shot.
A big left from McWasteoffuckingtime misses.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
McWasteoffuckingtime lands a jab to Jackson's midsection.
Jackson lands a powerful looking uppercut that connected with his opponent's jaw.
Jackson lands with a kick to the temple. McWasteoffuckingtime shrugs as if to say "is that all you've got?"

That's one minute gone in the round.
McWasteoffuckingtime throws a solid leg kick but Jackson takes the impact on his shin and smiles at McWasteoffuckingtime.
McWasteoffuckingtime defending well as Jackson loads up on a big left hand.
McWasteoffuckingtime avoids a kick to the body.
Jackson tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but McWasteoffuckingtime was well out of range. Poor timing from Jackson.
McWasteoffuckingtime lands an overhand right.

McWasteoffuckingtime moves into the clinch.
Jackson misses with a shot to the kidneys.
Knees in the clinch landing for McWasteoffuckingtime.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Jackson.
Jackson managing to block the knees to the body from McWasteoffuckingtime.
A head punch on the inside from McWasteoffuckingtime fails to land.
Jackson avoiding damage as McWasteoffuckingtime throws knees to the body.
A shot in the inside from McWasteoffuckingtime.
Jackson misses with the head strike.
Jackson working on landing some head shots here - that one got through nicely.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Jackson's head jolts backwards as he takes an uppercut right on the button!
Jackson throws a head punch that misses.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
With the two fighters working up against the cage, McWasteoffuckingtime just misses with a elbow thrown towards Jackson's brow.
McWasteoffuckingtime misses with a hook from the clinch.
McWasteoffuckingtime stalling against the cage.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for McWasteoffuckingtime.
McWasteoffuckingtime fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
McWasteoffuckingtime is trying to break the clinch but Jackson is controlling him.
McWasteoffuckingtime tries to land knees in the clinch but Jackson avoids the damage to the body.
McWasteoffuckingtime working Jackson over with knees to the body.
McWasteoffuckingtime working some nice short punches in the clinch.
McWasteoffuckingtime is clearly stalling here... Pick up the pace son.
McWasteoffuckingtime trying to land knees to the body.
McWasteoffuckingtime blocks a body shot from Jackson.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
A head punch blocked on the inside by McWasteoffuckingtime.
Jackson misses with a shot to the kidneys.
McWasteoffuckingtime misses with an elbow strike.
Jackson misses with a shot to the kidneys.
McWasteoffuckingtime tries to land a knee to the head but Jackson blocks with his arms.
Jackson lands an uppercut.
It really doesn't seem like the step up in weight is hurting McWasteoffuckingtime here at all. He's more than holding his own against the bigger man.
McWasteoffuckingtime misses with a hook from the clinch.
Jackson tries a body shot but McWasteoffuckingtime blocks it.
The fighters are starting to get sweaty, which will make takedowns a bit more tricky.
McWasteoffuckingtime misses with a short punch on the inside.
McWasteoffuckingtime controlling the action here for a moment.
McWasteoffuckingtime throws an elbow but it's blocked.
McWasteoffuckingtime lands a right hand.
Jackson misses with a punch to the body.
Jackson tries to work over McWasteoffuckingtime's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Jackson throws a punch but it's blocked by McWasteoffuckingtime.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
McWasteoffuckingtime tries to stall but Jackson uses the opportunity to gain a better position.
McWasteoffuckingtime misses with a short punch on the inside.
McWasteoffuckingtime fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
A short right hand to the side of the head by Jackson.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
McWasteoffuckingtime working aggressively here.
McWasteoffuckingtime swings away with an uppercut that misses.
Jackson blocks a knee to the body. He'll have a nicely bruised forearm in the morning.
McWasteoffuckingtime working aggressively here.
A short right from McWasteoffuckingtime.
McWasteoffuckingtime lands a short shot on the inside that snaps the head of Jackson backwards.
Jackson throws a punch but it's blocked by McWasteoffuckingtime.
Dumb McWasteoffuckingtime has scored more points in the clinch so far.
McWasteoffuckingtime missing with knees to the body.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
A left hand lands to the body for McWasteoffuckingtime.
Jackson tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
McWasteoffuckingtime wants to stall.
McWasteoffuckingtime stalling the fight.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Dumb McWasteoffuckingtime dominated that second round.
The corners get their ten second warning. Both fighters stand from their stools and stare eachother down, ready to get back to the action. And we move into the final round!


McWasteoffuckingtime looks to score with a jab to the body but Jackson is just out of range.
A telegraphed right hand from McWasteoffuckingtime misses the target.
McWasteoffuckingtime misses with a straight left.
McWasteoffuckingtime takes a swing at Jackson's ribcage but misses.
McWasteoffuckingtime feints and then cracks Jackson's leading leg with a nice low kick. He's obviously looking to slow Jackson down.
Jackson just misses with a punch to the body.
McWasteoffuckingtime cracks Jackson with a right hand to the side of the head.
McWasteoffuckingtime throws a sloppy head kick and Jackson moves out of range easily.
McWasteoffuckingtime takes a jab right on the nose. That must have hurt but he shrugs his shoulders and looks to return the favor.


McWasteoffuckingtime is rocked!
McWasteoffuckingtime walks right into a perfectly timed right hook and goes down hard! He's out cold! The ref cradles McWasteoffuckingtime limp body while Jackson jumps on to the cage and waves to the roaring crowd. Wow that was just a brutal knockout!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 0:46 of round 3, we have a winner by way of KO (Punch). Ben Jackson!
Ben Jackson very nearly forgot to thank Cripplers Corner amongst all the excitement of his win but just as the interview came to a close, he screamed their name. Hopefully he'll get a few nice freebies in the mail as a thank you.
S C
A
G S C
B
G S C G energy
A | B
hype
A | B
pop
A | B
mgr
A | B
FIGHT
RATING
100%
 
 
 
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