PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between HL Mencken (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Roger Tiddlywinks (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Mencken's ring entrance music is that housewives' favourite, Circle Jerks - Question Authority. Tiddlywinks comes into a darkened arena with his song building. The Seinfeld Intro kicks in, the lights come on and the crowd goes wild! What a showman! Roger Tiddlywinks is staring across the cage at his opponent, tweaking his nipples.

Mencken
vs
Tiddlywinks

195 cm
20
280 lbs
2 - 0 - 0

197 cm
20
265 lbs
3 - 0 - 0

Decent wrestler
Excellent boxer
Very quick

BJJ Blue Belt
Lethal high kicks
Good gas tank

Bushido Fightwear

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 2 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, HL Mencken!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 3 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Roger Tiddlywinks!
The judges for this bout are Gwen Towbar, Alan Glass and Robert Twigg.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Tiddlywinks tries to bum rush Mencken with a series of wild strikes but Mencken uses good footwork to avoid the assault.
Mencken avoids a kick to the body.
Tiddlywinks lands a high kick!

It looks like HL Mencken has been cut.
Tiddlywinks tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Mencken was well out of range. Poor timing from Tiddlywinks.
Mencken moves out of range of the body kick from Tiddlywinks.
Mencken moves into range and throws a lovely three punch combination.
Tiddlywinks throws a body kick that misses

and Mencken counters with a crisp one two that drops Tiddlywinks! Mencken thinks about following him to the mat for a moment but instead steps back and waves Tiddlywinks to his feet! Tiddlywinks is in big trouble!
Mencken throws a right and a left that both miss.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Tiddlywinks throws a sloppy head kick and Mencken moves out of range easily.
HL Mencken seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Tiddlywinks throws a half hearted mid kick.
Mencken looks to score with a combo but nothing lands.
Tiddlywinks digs a good hook to Mencken's body.
Mencken throws a right hand that Tiddlywinks ducks under and follows up with a left that Tiddlywinks also avoids with ease.
Tiddlywinks lands a high kick!
Mencken connects with the punch.

Tiddlywinks is rocked!
Mencken wobbles Tiddlywinks with a right hand and the left hook that follows puts him on his rear! Mencken dives in with a huge flying punch that connects right on the button and puts Tiddlywinks to sleep! - What a violent and spectacular finish!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 0:59 of round 1, we have a winner by way of KO (Punches). HL Mencken!
HL Mencken decided to go for the less than humble approach in his post fight interview, telling everyone how he is going to conquer the world. The crowd seemed to like it when really that sort of approach could have gone either way.
The defeated Roger Tiddlywinks had this to say: 'I want icecream mom'.