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 HWP316: Breaker vs. Overdose! PREVIEW
Well, well, well, what's all this then? The Can brothers may not be fighting on tonight's card but CBD is still stirring things up. We have a 5 round title fight, a 1 round co-main event in which CBD is sacrificing his own fighters for the sake of the event. Probly hoping they cant get as tired/injured in that 1 Three minute round. And a whole bunch of big time haters preparing to wail on each other for your viewing pleasure. How else would you want to spend a Saturday evening? Live from MMA Grand and televisions worldwide comes HWP316: Breaker vs. Overdose, a 10 fight extravaganza featuring the cream of the crop from Vegas' premier mixed martial arts organisation and the cherry on top of that cream comes in the form of the heavyweight title bout between the aforementioned Breaker and Overdose. Let's get down to it:
Tyson Johnson vs. Barney "The Unicorn" Smalls
Ah, the youth of today. Still fighting and looking real ugly. Some things never change! Both of these men, Johnson and "The Unicorn" Smalls have pretty shot morale, Smalls due to being a whiney bitch probably and Johnson due to getting KTFO in his last appearance. Suck it up boys! With Smalls being a giant 20cm taller than Johnson he will be relying on his extra 40lbs to muscle through a takedown as both men are ground fighters, Johnson of the GNP variety and Smalls looking for submissions so it should be fun to see who manages to succeed but my money is on Johnson turning out "The Unicorn's" lights as his little t-rex arms will be too hard for Smalls to latch onto and snap off.
"The Fallen Angel" Dante Cartwright vs. Gregor "Montanha" Clegane
A couple of fellows who have been around the MMA block a few times are up next with "The Fallen Angel" Cartwright taking on "Montanha" Clegane. I bet Clegane is one of those people who pronounces words like HHHWHITE, and HHHWHERE. The friggin H goes after the W cracker, y'hear? As for "The Fallen Angel", I guess they don't have any vacancies for Pantene commercials in heaven so he has descended to make some cash with those flowing locks of his. In terms of combat, Clegane is the superior striker and has won his last 4 within the first 2 minutes which doesn't bode well for Cartwright who in my opinion needs to rely on his ground game to win this one despite showing heavy hands himself. A tough fight to call, both have the potential but I am going to have to go against Cartwright based on his record of KO losses and tip Clegane to win this one via KO.
Fedor A million ankle vs. "nutshot i quit" Cro Copout
Co-Main Event!
A special event indeed, Ankle vs. Copout in a 1 round, 3 minute bout. Special in the same way that boggle eyed kid who licks the windows on the bus is special. This had better be a balls to the floor, hell for leather kind of round in which both men are set to 100% aggression and are planning on turning the other into some sort of pate that rich people put on whatever rich people put pate on. Probably little toast. What is with that stuff anyway, it isn't croutons, it is like, toastette or something. Bollocks if you ask me. Anyway, Ankle is known for his kickboxing, Copout has his boxing and 20cm extra height. The two have never met before because they both train under CBD... now I see. Trying to trick me. No Can brothers but instead throwing these two into the mix. I want to snort what CBD is snorting. Probably PBR. I am going to tip Copout to win just cos he's been knocked out less, so take that.
J "Face" Breaker vs. "growth hormone" Alistair Overdose
Main Event TITLE FIGHT!
Huzzah, title fight time! I love HWP title fights cos it always involves two hard arses who like to stand and bang. "Face" Breaker is the current champ and this is his 2nd title defense after reclaiming it from Marko back in HWP302. The two men haven't met before which is surprising and it will be a great battle of world class boxing meets world class wrestling with some hot Thai boxing thrown into the mix for good measure. Breaker is significantly shorter and lighter, something which may weight against him but his hands a packed with dynamite and his chin is solid as a rock so its a good foundation for some arse kicking. Overdose though is equally competent, despite a slight tendency to see more fights throught to decision and even when he does end fights it tends to come late in the game. For this reason I am tipping "Face" to hold onto his title by KO as he is better at decisively ending people's faces early.
That's it for the main card boys and girls, let's take a look at the gambling side of stuff with K-Rad's Kickass Tips. As always, the number next to the predicted winner is a gauge of how confident I am in this coming true!
Teashawn vs. Gallow: Teashawn (5)
Mohammad vs. Bragee: Mohammad (7)
Sypher vs. Mustafin: Sypher (6)
Elbow vs. Knock Out: Knock Out (3)
Pudzianowski vs. Ali: Pudzian (3)
Komissarov vs. Silva: Komissarov (5)
Johnson vs. Smalls: Johnson (5)
Cartwright vs. Clegane: Cartwright (3)
Ankle vs. Copout: Copout (2)
Breaker vs. Overdose: Breaker (3)
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