Eddie Bjornsson vs Noah Anderson 2 - Press Conference
Live on Blaze Brothers 3 (9-10-21) in the 7000 capacity arena, Sparta's Palace
https://ibb.co/NSbMTfN - Picture of press conference
Blaze King :
This is the Eddie Bjornsson vs Noah Anderson 2 Press Conference
I'll start the first question to the challenger, Noah Anderson
What adjustments have you made since the first fight with Bjornsson?
Noah Anderson:
Steroids, lots and lots of steroids. Also, consumption of Grumpy Bastard tears.
Eddie Bjornsson:
You still there Blaze King? Looks like he may have fallen asleep listening to your boring chat
Bjornsson stands up and shakes Blaze King awake
Noah Anderson:
Think your stank made him uninstall discord
Eddie Bjornsson:
Bjornsson on his way back to his seat bumps Anderson and he falls into the press table
Noah Anderson:
Bjornsson ate too many whoppers, can't even fit between the isles. Fat cbomb.
Eddie Bjornsson:
What’s that? I can’t hear you from up there you groot looking motherfucker
Noah Anderson:
Your wife heard me just fine, weird. I'll send over some cue tips to get the gunk out of those hairy ears
Blaze King:
Question for Eddie Bjornsson
Noah Anderson:
Use small words, I heard he isn't the brightest lightbulb in the room
Eddie Bjornsson:
That’s weird. Your wife heard me likewise after I humped you in our first fight and then humped her after
Blaze King:
You are obviously a great wrestler and have used that in your favor for many of your fights, is the gameplan the same this time around?
Noah Anderson:
You got lucky to open a battle wound I got while muff diving on your missus. Do tell her to trim that bush, it's growing thorns
Eddie Bjornsson
Last time we fought, I dominated Anderson everywhere. Dominated on the feet and then dispatched on the ground. No matter where the fight goes I’m confident I am better than him
Blaze King:
What is your response to that Noah?
Noah Anderson:
If landing 5 body shots(which were obviously meant to grope them abs) is "domination", then sure, he "dominated"
TD spamming won't work this time around, believe dat
Eddie Bjornsson
Anyone as malnourished as you are would have “abs”
Bjornsson proceeds to rip his shirt off like a caveman and unveils a shiny six pack
Noah Anderson:
Anyone as gay as you are would try to touch em
Eddie Bjornsson
These are abs!
Noah Anderson:
No thats stomach hair. Not as bad as your wives though.
The crowd goes wild as both fighters are showing off their heavyweight bodies. Not bad for some 265lbers
Blaze King:
Ok, question for both fighters
What is it about your opponent that makes you hate them?
Eddie Bjornsson:
Apart from the fact that he’s a complete asshole, the fact that he copied my facial hair. When we used to train together in Nicaragua he was clean shaven and decided to rock a beard soon after. Coincidence, I think not
Blaze King:
Wait a minute, you two used to train with each other?
Bjornsson digs out of his pocket a beard trimmer and chucks it towards Anderson
Here, in case you have a change of heart
Blaze King:
Tell us a little bit about you two training with each other?
Eddie Bjornsson:
I’ll let him explain why he moved to Australia
Commercial break... coincidently it shows 2 shirtless fat guys fighting in a Coca-Cola advertisement
Blaze King:
Ok we are back
We are up to you used to train with Bjornnson in Nicaragua and why you left to go to train in Australlia?
Noah Anderson:
Kangaroos make fierce sparring partners, unlike my whopper eating opponent
Blaze King:
So, did you and Bjornsson have sparring sessions?
Noah Anderson:
If you mean him chasing me around, trying to grab my left the whole round sparring, then yes
Eddie Bjornsson:
Here’s a photo Noah sent me of the kangaroo he used to “spar” with
Noah Anderson:
I think you mixed it up. This was the one we grilled and ate
Eddie Bjornsson:
Yeah that’s right I used to manhandle you, you can barely balance on those twig legs
Noah Anderson:
Your wife compliments me on my 3 legs all the time, so they're good enough for her!!!
Eddie proceeds to stand up, tip the table over in a hulk-like fashion and squares up to Noah. Leprechauns start storming the room and a close up magician begins to perform
Noah Anderson:
....well?....I see the leprechauns....so where's Connor?!?!?!
and out of nowhere - Conor McGregor sporting his traditional suit attire and notorious walk, plonks a bottle of his signature whiskey on the floor in front of the shattered table
the close up magician was in fact Conor McGregor the whole time, the crowd burst into a raucous of applause and fight bursts out amongst a select few of each team
Eddie Bjornsson:
Conor owes me a favour so I called him up. He’s gonna watch me whup your arse after I devour a few more whoppers
Noah Anderson:
His whisky is horse piss, which is exactly what I think of Conor himself, as well as your chances to beat me
Conor proceeds to stand on the tipped over table and hurls abuse at Noah. He then manages to convince the crowd to mimic him in carrying out some form of Irish Dance / Loser dance in the direction of the angry Noah
Blaze King:
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