Backboner PBP Commentary

Co-main event

Coming up we have a super heavyweight MMA rules bout between Backup Pisswater (ranked 4870 p4p, 4919 weight class) and Natasha Pisswater (ranked 88 p4p, 92 weight class). We have two fighters making their debuts here, so let's see who comes out of this one with their first professional victory.

Pisswater
vs
Pisswater

170 cm
18
136
0 - 0 - 0

170 cm
18
137
0 - 0 - 0

BJJ White Belt
Excellent MT
Good chin

BJJ White Belt
Excellent MT
Tends to cut

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 1 rounds, in the super heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 0 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Amsterdam, Backup Pisswater!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 0 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Amsterdam, Natasha Pisswater!
The judges for this bout are Donatello Bradman, Francis DeMontford and Hugh Johnson.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!

Backup Pisswater shoots in for a takedown from distance. He catches Natasha Pisswater napping and manages to drive through into side control!

Natasha Pisswater explodes and escapes back to his feet! Nice escape there!
Natasha Pisswater tries to clinch up against the cage, rushing in to close the distance. Backup Pisswater manages to break the clinch and circles back to the middle of the mat.

Backup Pisswater closes the distance and clinches.
Natasha Pisswater fails to pull the fight into his guard.

Backup Pisswater pulls Natasha Pisswater into guard.
Natasha Pisswater stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. Backup Pisswater swivels though and keeps the full guard.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.

Natasha Pisswater drops back for a leg! It's a sloppy attempt though and Natasha Pisswater jumps back into guard quickly, to retain the dominant position.
Backup Pisswater is looking to sweep but instead, Natasha Pisswater has passed into half guard.
Backup Pisswater desperately trying to maintain half guard.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Backup Pisswater pushes Natasha Pisswater off looking to stand but Natasha Pisswater dives back in and keeps control.

Natasha Pisswater seems to be working for a kimura but Backup Pisswater defends the submission attempt.
Backup Pisswater trying to control from the bottom.

Backup Pisswater actively working from the bottom here.
Backup Pisswater trying to hold on to Natasha Pisswater's head to control him but Natasha Pisswater postures up.

Backup Pisswater is looking to sinch up a guillotine here but Natasha Pisswater pulls his head out easily.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
My god... these two guys really need to pick up the pace or everyone will leave to go get a beer.
Backup Pisswater gets back to full guard.
Backup Pisswater working a defensive guard here.
Natasha Pisswater engaging in some classic timewasting tactics.

The referee decides to stand the fighters back up.
Nice sprawl there from Backup Pisswater as Natasha Pisswater shoots in.

Backup Pisswater closes the distance and looks for a trip takedown... aaaand he's got it - Backup Pisswater lands in his opponent's guard.

Backup Pisswater has gone for a leg lock! Natasha Pisswater slips out almost immediately though and dives into Backup Pisswater's guard.

And that's the end of the fight!
I would just about give that final round to Natasha Pisswater.
I think Natasha Pisswater has won this one but let's see whether the judges agree with me. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 1 round of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Donatello Bradman scores the fight 9:10
Judge Francis DeMontford scores the fight 9:10
Judge Hugh Johnson scores the fight 9:10

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Natasha Pisswater!

C
A

C
B

energy
A | B

hype
A | B

pop
A | B

mgr
A | B

FIGHT
RATING
38%

Main event

Coming up we have a super heavyweight MMA rules bout between Manartha Bhairon (ranked 5169 p4p, 5012 weight class) and Inspective Calculator X (ranked 96 p4p, 172 weight class). Inspective Calculator X will no doubt be looking to use his reach advantage to good effect.

Bhairon
vs
Calculator X

171 cm
18
162
1 - 0 - 0

189 cm
18
265
0 - 0 - 0

BJJ White Belt
Excellent MT
Good chin

BJJ White Belt
Excellent MT
Inexperienced

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 1 rounds, in the super heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 1 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Los Angeles, Manartha Bhairon!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 0 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Los Angeles, Inspective Calculator X!
The judges for this bout are Eliza Hachem, Francis DeMontford and Winston Howard.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
The fighters circling - Bhairon throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
No joy there for Bhairon, who threw a few shots but didn't land.
As Bhairon backs off Calculator X throws a huge counter combo but Bhairon manages to avoid it all.
Wow, both these guys are really going for it!
Calculator X throws a decent looking leg kick but it doesn't land clean.
Bhairon throws the left hand but Calculator X avoids the punch easily.
Bhairon checks the leg kick.
Calculator X swings away with a leg kick that misses.
Calculator X misses with a low kick.
Calculator X feints and then cracks Bhairon's leading leg with a nice low kick. He's obviously looking to slow Bhairon down.
Calculator X uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Bhairon.
Bhairon misses with an uppercut. Calculator X saw that one coming.
Calculator X appeared to try and counter that last move with a leg kick.
Bhairon looking to land some kicks to the body here.
Bhairon checks a leg kick nicely.
Bhairon throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
Calculator X moves out of range as Bhairon strikes.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Bhairon moves out of range as Calculator X throws a body kick.
Bhairon throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Calculator X appeared to try and counter that last move with a leg kick.
Calculator X attempts a leg kick but it's missed by a good margin.
Bhairon checks a leg kick nicely.
Calculator X throws a looping overhand right but Bhairon ducks down to avoid it.
Calculator X scores with a push kick.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Calculator X looks to throw a body kick
and Bhairon counters with a nice low kick that buckles Calculator X's knee momentarily.
A leg kick checked by Bhairon.
Good leg kick by Calculator X.
Calculator X checks the leg kick nicely there.
Bhairon looks to throw the jab but Calculator X is out of range.
A big left from Bhairon misses.
Bhairon throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Calculator X uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Bhairon.
Calculator X throws a leg kick but he was too far away and it doesn't land.
Bhairon misses with an uppercut. Calculator X saw that one coming.
Calculator X turns his hip over beautifully as he lands a nice leg kick.
Calculator X staying out of range there.
Calculator X misses with a wild body shot.
Bhairon blocks the body kick.
Calculator X throws a head kick but Bhairon moves out of range.
Bhairon swung with a counter punch to the body but it didn't connect.
Calculator X takes a kick to the side of the head.
Calculator X motions for Bhairon to come forward. Calculator X throws a leg kick but it misses it's target.
Calculator X attempts a leg kick but it's missed by a good margin.
Bhairon misses with a body shot.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Calculator X throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Bhairon sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Calculator X blocks a jab.
Bhairon looks to be in better condition than last time we saw him fight. Obviously he's been working hard on his cardio.
Bhairon thows a left - swing and a miss!
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Calculator X finds nothing but air with that leg kick attempt.
Bhairon appeared to be looking to counter that last move with a leg kick.
Calculator X moves into range and lands a nice body kick.
Calculator X throws a solid leg kick but Bhairon takes the impact on his shin and smiles at Calculator X.
A telegraphed right hand from Calculator X misses the target.
Bhairon throws a quick counter head kick but Calculator X was just out of range.
Bhairon swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Calculator X fails to land with the punch combination there - jab, cross, hook, miss, miss, miss.
Calculator X just manages to avoid a counter high kick fromBhairon.
Calculator X looks winded!
Calculator X walks forward and throws out a flicking leg kick. Bhairon checks it nicely though, as he moves to the side.
Bhairon misses with a straight right.
The fighters circling - Bhairon throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Bhairon is really struggling to find his range with his punches. Calculator X's reach advantage is clearly causing him problems.
Bhairon misses with a looping right.
Bhairon on the wrong end of a nice low kick. He's acting like it's no big deal but he doesn't want to take many more of those.
Well, he's not going to score with shots like that. A lazy body kick attempt from Bhairon.
Calculator X slips a straight right by Bhairon.
Bhairon lands a leg kick and bounces back out of range.
Bhairon is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Calculator X.

And that's the end of the fight!
That was a close round. You could make an argument for either fighter but I would give it to Manartha Bhairon.
Well Bhairon has outscored his opponent in every aspect of the fight today. Only a scarily incompetent judge or two will keep him from a well deserved win... Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 1 round of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Eliza Hachem scores the fight 10:9
Judge Francis DeMontford scores the fight 9:10
Judge Winston Howard scores the fight 9:10

In favor of your winner, by split decision... Inspective Calculator X!