PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between Thoreaux AssKicken (ranked 2296 p4p, 0 weight class) and Rohith Sharma (ranked 4272 p4p, 0 weight class). AssKicken comes to the cage accompanied by Winds of Change. There are an array of beautiful celebrities at ringside tonight! I wonder if any of them paid for their tickets.

AssKicken
vs
Sharma

190 cm
36
215 lbs
18 - 13 - 1

192 cm
27
212 lbs
12 - 10 - 0

Abu Dhabi Champ
World class boxer
Insanely flexible

Good wrestler
World class MT
Good gas tank

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the light heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 18 - 13 - 1, fighting out of Los Angeles, Thoreaux AssKicken!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 12 - 10 - 0, fighting out of Los Angeles, Rohith Sharma!
The judges for this bout are Frank Antenori, and Timothy Bukovac.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!

Sharma has AssKicken up against the cage in a clinch.

AssKicken decides to pull guard.
AssKicken wants to sweep here but Sharma controlling him for the moment.
AssKicken is working from a closed guard but he's struggling to control his opponent.
Sharma controlling from the guard. I say controlling but really, he's stalling.
Sharma slips nicely into half guard.
Sharma controlling the pace.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Sharma wants to get back to his feet.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
AssKicken gets back to full guard.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Sharma is intent on slowing down the pace of the fight, simply looking to control.
Sharma pressing down on his opponent's thigh, looking to pass guard. AssKicken is keeping the position for now.
AssKicken has Sharma pulled in close to control his posture.
AssKicken lands a beautiful sweep and he's now moved into his opponent's guard.

AssKicken passes easily into side control. Nice work.
Sharma trying to remain calm as AssKicken controls from the top position.
AssKicken scoring with punches from side control.

That's two minutes gone in the round.

AssKicken is trying to get an arm triangle but Sharma is defending well.

AssKicken is looking for a kimura. He might have it! No, Sharma has escaped the position, nice work there.
AssKicken misses with a strike but at least he's keeping busy, looking to cause some damage - that will still help him when it comes to the judges scorecards.
Sharma tries to improve position but can't.
AssKicken trying to control the action but Sharma is working from the bottom.
You can see the frustration on Sharma's face, being in this tough position on the bottom.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
AssKicken wants to lay and pray for a moment but Sharma keeps working.
Sharma is in a bad spot here and he knows it... just holding on for now.
AssKicken in side control lands a nice looking series of punches and elbows.

AssKicken is trying to land an Americana. He has the arm isolated but Sharma is keeping cool and he's avoided the danger for now.
Sharma gets back to half guard.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Well. There's a bit of a lull in the action here and the crowd are starting to get restless.
Sharma is trying to stand up here but AssKicken is controlling him well.
AssKicken is trying to control the action in half guard but Sharma is working away on the bottom, looking perhaps to get back to full guard.
AssKicken is looking to stall here but Sharma recovers full guard.
AssKicken stands up over Sharma, holding his feet. He dives back in and lands a decent shot to the head.
AssKicken is stalling in the full guard.
Sharma keeping moving, preventing AssKicken from controlling successfully.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!
Sharma keeping full guard, as AssKicken tries to pass.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Thoreaux AssKicken dominated that round.
The fighters get back to their feet, the hooter sounds and we're back to the action!

Sharma scores with a straight right hand, right through his opponent's guard.
Sharma works the jab nicely.
Sloppy strikes from AssKicken. Those never looked like landing.
AssKicken throws a lazy right hand but Sharma sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
Sharma throws a poor cross that misses
enabling AssKicken to counter with a crisp jab.
Sharma scores with a nice head shot.
AssKicken lands a jab to the nose.
AssKicken takes an uppercut right on the button but keeps his composure.
AssKicken bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Sharma seems to be squinting his left eye. Perhaps he got a poke in that previous exchange. AssKicken shows no mercy and swarms him with a barage of strikes! Sharma is backing up but AssKicken catches him with a final right hook that drops him! Sharma covers up and the referee steps in to end the fight! AssKicken Jumps to his feet and flashes his guns to the crowd. Oh yeah, baby! How'd you like them apples?!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 0:52 of round 2, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Thoreaux AssKicken!
A relieved looking Thoreaux AssKicken thanked the fans for their support and gave the usual line about them being amazing. They seemed to believe that he actually meant it.