PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a lightweight MMA rules bout between Tud Stoddler (ranked 107 p4p, 427 weight class) and Anti Half Assed (ranked 12 p4p, 51 weight class). Stoddler's ring entrance music is that housewives' favourite, Arcade Fire - Ready to Start. Both fighters look fresh as a daisy as they make their way towards the cage.

Stoddler
vs
Half Assed

180 cm
29
166
23 - 7 - 0

179 cm
27
170
17 - 9 - 1

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Cardio machine

Excellent grappler
World class MT
Granite chin

Urban Fighter
Ma Balls Is Hot Clothing

Ma Balls Is Hot Clothing
Groove Gear

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the lightweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 23 - 7 - 0, fighting out of Los Angeles, Tud Stoddler!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 17 - 9 - 1, fighting out of St Petersburg, Anti Half Assed!
The judges for this bout are Frank Antenori, Timothy Bukovac and Percy O'Donnell.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Stoddler misses with a low kick.
Half Assed smiles there as he lands a nice right hand right on the button.
Stoddler on the wrong end of an overhand right that came out of nowhere.

It looks like Tud Stoddler has been cut.
Stoddler ducks under a wild hook from Half Assed.

Stoddler gets to the clinch - let's see what his plan is here.
Half Assed is looking to score with knees to the body. Maybe he'll change it up and go body then head. Stoddler is defending well for now.
Stoddler blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Half Assed lands a right hand.
Stoddler struggles to land a body shot inside as Half Assed controls his hands.
Stoddler misses with a short punch on the inside.
Stoddler misses with a shot to the kidneys.
Stoddler tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
A body shot lands from Stoddler.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Half Assed.
Stoddler blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Half Assed lands with a left to the head.
Half Assed blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Half Assed lands with a left to the head.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Half Assed goes for a body shot but it's blocked.
A short right from Stoddler.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Half Assed blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Stoddler lands a nice uppercut.
Stoddler scores with a shoulder strike.
A short right from Stoddler on the inside.
Stoddler misses with some punches.
Half Assed blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Half Assed lands with a short head shot on the inside.
Half Assed fails to pull the fight into his guard.
Half Assed scores with a shot to the side of Stoddler's head.

Stoddler is rocked!
Half Assed misses with a punch on the inside.
Oh Stoddler is still all over the place! His legs are completely gone! Will he be able to recover?!!
Half Assed lands with a good tight uppercut to the head.
Stoddler blocking some punches.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Half Assed.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Stoddler.
A right hook to the body lands for Half Assed.
Half Assed misses with some punches.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Stoddler's head jolts backwards as he takes an uppercut right on the button!
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Stoddler.
Stoddler's head jolts backwards as he takes an uppercut right on the button!
Half Assed throws a punch but it's blocked by Stoddler.
Stoddler working aggressively here.
Stoddler misses with the head strike.
Half Assed lands a left hand that snaps the head of Stoddler backwards.
Half Assed misses with a punch on the inside.
Stoddler throws a punch but it's blocked by Half Assed.
Stoddler blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Half Assed lands a body punch.
Half Assed presses Stoddler against the cage and delivers a mid-strength body shot.
Stoddler tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
Half Assed cracks Stoddler with a nice body shot.
Stoddler is breathing heavily.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Stoddler.
Half Assed throws a blind hook that connects with the side of Stoddlers head.
Half Assed softening up his opponent with strikes, against the cage.
Half Assed lands a big right hand that drops Stoddler! The killer instinct kicks in and Half Assed finishes his opponent with a series of strikes from mount. A dominating finish by Half Assed!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 2:58 of round 1, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Anti Half Assed!
As Anti Half Assed got his breath back, he grabbed the microphone and managed to blurt out the following: YOU LIKE THAT!?'.