PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a middleweight MMA rules bout between Derek Zoolander (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Daniel Beer (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Daniel Beer is staring across the cage at his opponent, tweaking his nipples.

Zoolander
vs
Beer

185 cm
20
190 lbs
2 - 0 - 0

196 cm
22
185 lbs
1 - 0 - 0

BJJ Purple Belt
Basic striking
Good chin

BJJ Blue Belt
Solid Muay Thai
Tends to cut

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the middleweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 2 - 0 - 0, fighting out of London, Derek Zoolander!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 1 - 0 - 0, fighting out of London, Daniel Beer!
The judges for this bout are William Gold, Colin Fotheringham and Chris Edwards.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Beer will need to tighten up his combinations if he doesn't want to gas himself out, swinging at thin air.
Beer tries to clinch but Zoolander moves out of range.
Beer avoids the body shot from Zoolander.
Zoolander changes levels and looks for a double leg takedown. Beer tries to avoid it but Zoolander manages to keep hold of a leg and drag Beer to the ground. Beer escapes though and pops straight back up to his feet.

Zoolander tries to keep at a distance but Beer has taken the fight into the clinch.
Beer lands a body shot.
Zoolander jumps guard but Beer stands there with Zoolander around his waist. Zoolander gives up and drops back to his feet. We remain in the clinch.

Beer wants the takedown. Zoolander is fighting it off but Beer persists and manages to bring the fight to the ground, ending up in Zoolander's guard against the cage.
Zoolander might be looking to lock onto one of his opponent's long limbs for a submission, whilst we're on the ground.

Zoolander working from the bottom, still in full guard. He's managed to get a loose triangle. Beer doesn't seem to be doing much to defend here, obviously he feels comfortable in the position. Beer manages to throw the legs off his shoulder and he's back into guard - no problem.
Beer must be cautious of submissions here, given that his opponent has the superior Jiu Jitsu.

Zoolander working for a triangle but Beer defends it easily.
Zoolander tries to land a sweep but no joy.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Zoolander is working hard here to advance position.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Beer trying to land body shots but he keeps hitting the mat.
Beer controls from within his opponent's guard.
Beer is a painfully thin specimen of a man. You do wonder whether a good body kick would snap him clean in two.
Beer looking to pass the guard.
Zoolander throws a couple of shots from the bottom but they don't land.

Neither fighter is doing enough for the referee's liking and he's decided to stand them back up.
Zoolander looks to land a combination but Beer avoids it well.
Beer with a poor takedown

and Zoolander counters with a shoot takedown into half guard.

Zoolander looking for a kimura but he'll have to free his other leg if he wants to finish that. Perhaps he's just using it as a distraction technique.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Beer is trying to get back to full guard.

Beer is defending against the submission attempts here by Zoolander.

Zoolander seems to be working for a kimura but Beer defends the submission attempt.
Zoolander is breathing heavily.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Beer has no desire to be mounted, so is trying to control. Zoolander is working away from the top position though.
Beer is holding on to half guard well.
Beer is trying to maintain the position but Zoolander is very close to passing his half guard.
Zoolander is pressing down on Beer's thigh, looking to free his foot. Beer is holding on for now.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.

It looks like we're going to have a standup here. Neither fighter is doing enough on the ground.
Zoolander closes the distance and clinches up with Beer, looking for a takedown. Zoolander pushes Beer against the cage but Beer circles to the side and manages to break the clinch.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Derek Zoolander. That's going to take a lot out of him.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are starting to boo a lack of action.
Beer pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Zoolander with a poor takedown
and he gets countered with a snapping leg kick.
Beer scores with a slapping inside leg kick.
Zoolander shoots in for a takedown - he's clinched up with Beer but Beer pushes him off and we're back to square one.
Beer clinches but Zoolander breaks the clinch

and Zoolander counters with a nice double leg into guard.

Beer uses the cage to get back to his feet.
Zoolander circles away from the clinch attempt.
Beer shoots in but Zoolander avoids the takedown attempt easily.

Beer scores a trip takedown into side control. Nice.
The crowd applaud the fighters efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Zoolander tries to improve position but can't.
Beer in side control lands a nice looking series of punches and elbows.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close round but I would say that Derek Zoolander will probably get the nod.
The minute break is over - no more time for sponges and pep talks - back to the action!

Beer scores a takedown into full mount!
Zoolander is desperately trying to get back to half guard.
Zoolander flailing away with punches but nothing is landing.
Zoolander is writhing around trying to get back to his feet.
Zoolander is desperately trying to improve his position but Beer has a good base and remains in mount.
Beer landing strikes, looking to finish!
Zoolander working to try and regain half guard.
Both fighters are absolutely exhausted here.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Zoolander slips a leg in and gets back to half guard.
Zoolander is not content to let Beer control the position.
Zoolander tries to roll over but Beer keeps him under control.
Beer trying to control the action but Zoolander is working from the bottom.
Zoolander gets full guard.
Zoolander wants to sweep but no luck.
There's a bit of a scramble here and now Zoolander is on top in guard.
Zoolander postures up and lands a big shot to Beer's brow.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Beer is trying to control the position but Zoolander postures up.
Derek Zoolander overall seems to be getting the better of the ground position in the fight so far.
Zoolander passes into half guard.
Beer is looking to regain full guard. Not this time though.
Zoolander slips a nice elbow through Beer's hands, connecting with Beer's forehead.
Zoolander throwing shots but they're hitting the canvas more than the man.
Beer is staying active underneath Zoolander, who seems content to just control the action from this position.
Zoolander passes to side control.
Zoolander landing strikes.

That's three minutes gone in the round.

Zoolander is trying to land an Americana. He has the arm isolated but Beer is keeping cool and he's avoided the danger for now.

Zoolander swings around for an armbar but Beer sees it coming a mile off and turns beautifully into Zoolander's guard.

Zoolander escapes his hips to the side and looks to be working for an armbar. Beer gives him a little smile and shakes his head. No chance.

Zoolander is active off his back here, looking for submissions.
Beer won't allow Zoolander to sweep him here.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Beer looking to pass the guard.
Zoolander has a closed guard, preventing Beer from standing up.

Zoolander escapes his hips to the side and looks to be working for an armbar. Beer gives him a little smile and shakes his head. No chance.
Beer trying to control the position from guard on top but Zoolander is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Zoolander manages to land a sweep and now he's in mount on top!
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Derek Zoolander dominated that second round.
That's time! Zoolander's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the final round!

Zoolander scores with a takedown into Beer's guard.
Beer looking to control.
Zoolander trying to pass the guard but can't manage it just yet.
Zoolander is looking to work some ground and pound but Beer has wrist control.
Beer controls Zoolander momentarily but Zoolander frees himself.
Zoolander works a leg free and moves into half guard.
Zoolander stalling away here and it's allowed Beer to slip out his trapped foot and regain full guard.
Zoolander advances position into side control!
Both fighters are breathing heavily.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Zoolander tries to advance to mount but can't.

Zoolander wants to work for a kimura but he's foiled early by Beer, who protects the arm well.

Zoolander goes for an armbar! This could be all over! Wait, no, Beer rolls with the submission and now he's on top in Zoolander's guard! Nice work there by Beer!
Beer wants to control from the top but Zoolander keeps moving.

Zoolander looking for submissions off his back, moving his hips, looking for an opening.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Zoolander is looking to stand up but Beer isn't so interested in that idea.
Zoolander thows some rabbit punches from the bottom but they don't do any damage.
Beer throwing strikes but missing.
Beer trying to control but Zoolander is working from the bottom.
Beer stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. Zoolander swivels though and keeps the full guard.
Beer throwing shots from guard but he's hitting more mat than opponent.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Beer stopping the sweep attempt from Zoolander.

Zoolander has his foot on Beer's thigh. He's trying to push off and get in position for a triangle, I think. Beer works his way back into a safe position though.
There's a bit of a scramble here and now Zoolander is on top in guard.
Zoolander stands and throws Beer's legs to the side, diving into side control.
Zoolander working the ground and pound from side control.

Zoolander tries for an arm triangle. That looks pretty tight to me. Is this one over!?! Possibly, maybe, no Zoolander has let go of the choke. Obviously it wasn't as tight as we thought!

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Zoolander cracks Beer with a big right hand but Beer just smiles back at him and invites him to have another go.
Beer takes a couple of big shots there - the referee warns him that he has to defend himself better.

Zoolander is trying to get an arm triangle but Beer is defending well.
The ground and pound from Zoolander seems to be hitting the mat more than his opponent.
Beer gets one leg under and gets the fight to half guard.
Daniel Beer has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
Derek Zoolander is fighting for a decision here - he's started to take the cautious approach.
Beer punching from the bottom.

And that's the end of the fight!
Derek Zoolander showed his dominance in that final round.
Well I reckon that's a shut out for Zoolander, winning every round. Will the judges agree? They are the ones who matter, even if they are often depressingly incompetent. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge William Gold scores the fight 30:27
Judge Colin Fotheringham scores the fight 30:27
Judge Chris Edwards scores the fight 29:28

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Derek Zoolander!