PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a bantamweight kickboxing rules bout between Rob $tone (ranked 5436 p4p, 73 weight class) and Finn The Human (ranked 288 p4p, 7 weight class). The Human has chosen Adventure Time as his entrance music. Both fighters look fresh as a daisy as they make their way towards the ring.

$tone
vs
The Human

170 cm
28
145
5 - 3 - 1

175 cm
36
135
31 - 12 - 1

World class MT
Insanely flexible

World class MT
Granite chin

Ma Balls Is Hot Clothing
SynCity Fightwear

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the bantamweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 5 - 3 - 1, fighting out of Las Vegas, Rob $tone!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 31 - 12 - 1, fighting out of Hilo, Finn The Human!
The judges for this bout are Cecil Peabody, Chris Downing and Daniel Franklin.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
$tone walks into a jab.
$tone has been talking about how he's improved his wrestling in the run up to the fight so let's see if that's enough to sway the balance.
The fighters circling - $tone throws out the jab but it was never going to land.

The Human drives through and clinches with $tone against the ropes.
The Human misses with a body punch.
The Human is a painfully thin specimen of a man. You do wonder whether a good body kick would snap him clean in two.
The Human blocking some punches.
$tone lands a hook to the side of the head.
The Human throws a punch but it's blocked by $tone.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for $tone.
The Human misses with some punches.
The Human lands an uppercut.
$tone throws a punch but it's blocked by The Human.
A short right hand to the side of the head by $tone.
The Human throws a punch but it's blocked by $tone.
We've been informed that The Human has been sparring a lot of Muay Thai in the buildup to this fight so let's see if that has an impact on the result.
The Human swings wildly with an uppercut but $tone uses good head movement to avoid it.
$tone blocks an uppercut.
The Human throws a nice elbow but it doesn't land.
$tone makes some space for himself and lands an uppercut.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
The Human digs a right hand underneath $tone's ribcage. $tone let out a lung full of air as it connected.

$tone breaks the clinch.
The Human misses with a body shot.
A bone on bone clash there as $tone blocks the leg kick.
$tone misses with a looping left.
The Human digs a good hook to $tone's body.
$tone shuffles to his left behind two crisp jabs. The Human eats them both and turns towards $tone to reposition himself and eats a stinging right hand-left hook combo.

That's one minute gone in the round.
The Human swings and misses with a hook to the body.
$tone on the wrong end of a nice low kick. He's acting like it's no big deal but he doesn't want to take many more of those.
$tone throws a head kick that looked like it stung.

The Human rushes $tone and presses him up against the ropes.
The Human lands with a short punch from the clinch.
A head punch on the inside from $tone fails to land.
The Human scores with a shot to the side of $tone's head.

The Human escapes the clinch and we're back to striking.
The Human lands with a nice low kick. That'll leave a bruise.
$tone attempts a low kick but it misses it's target.
$tone lands with a shot to the body.

$tone moves into the clinch.
The Human misses with the head strike.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
A short left from $tone.
$tone blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
The Human tries to throw a body punch but $tone avoids it by throwing The Human back against the ropes.

The Human manages to break the clinch.
The Human misses the shot to the body.
The Human digs a good hook to $tone's body.

The Human pushes $tone up against the ropes in a clinch.
$tone lands a shoulder strike that jolts his opponent's head backwards.
The Human blocks an uppercut.
A head punch blocked on the inside by $tone.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
$tone throws a punch but it's blocked by The Human.
$tone has a couple of punches blocked by The Human.
$tone softening up his opponent with strikes, against the ropes.
$tone scores with a nice hook to the head.
A head punch on the inside from $tone fails to land.
The Human wants to push off and get back to the center of the mat but $tone has him pressed against the ropes.
The Human scores with a shoulder strike.
$tone misses with a punch on the inside.
$tone has a couple of punches blocked by The Human.
The Human misses with a body punch.
A short left from The Human.
The Human throws a blind hook that connects with the side of $tones head.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for $tone.
A shot in the inside from $tone.
The Human lands a nice knee to the body.
$tone working aggressively here.
The Human throws a head punch that misses.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
The Human lands with a right to the head.
The Human throws a head punch that misses.
$tone working aggressively here.
A nice left hand lands by The Human.

$tone manages to break the clinch.
The Human ducks low and lands a nice hook to the body of his opponent.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.

A close round but Finn The Human will probably get the nod.
The corners get their ten second warning. Both fighters stand from their stools and stare each other down, ready to get back to the action.

The Human throws a body kick but he wasn't in range.
$tone lands with a slapping head kick.
The Human waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract $tone.
The Human ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
The Human looks to score with a jab to the body but $tone is just out of range.
$tone jabbing away but nothing is landing.
The Human waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract $tone.
$tone throws a body shot but no joy.
Wow, both these guys are really going for it!
$tone cracks The Human with a good shot that sees him stumbling back into the ropes.
$tone misses with a wild body shot.
The Human defending well as $tone loads up on a big left hand.
The Human is throwing a lot of body shots here, looking to wear down $tone rather than just go for the knockout.
The Human looks to score with a jab to the body but $tone is just out of range.

$tone fakes with an overhand right and moves in to clinch with The Human, pushing him back against the ropes.
The Human misses with a shot to the kidneys.
$tone throws a punch but it's blocked by The Human.
$tone pushes The Human back against the ropes and lands a hook to the side of the head.
The Human swings wildly with an uppercut but $tone uses good head movement to avoid it.
The Human misses with some punches.
The Human misses with some punches.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
The Human lands a nice shot to the body.
The Human scores with a shot to the side of $tone's head.
Finn The Human seems to be working more effectively in the clinch in the fight so far.
$tone lands with a good tight uppercut to the head.

That's one minute gone in the round.
The Human misses with the head strike.
The Human gets an overhook and lands an elbow to the side of the head.
$tone swings away with an uppercut that misses.
A head punch blocked on the inside by The Human.

$tone breaks from the clinch.
$tone blocks a leg kick.
$tone appears to be looking for a big counter.
The crowd cheers as The Human lands an impressive looking overhand right. $tone doesn't seem phased though.
The fighters are going at a pretty good pace and they're both starting to sweat now.
Donk. $tone catches The Human right on the button with a cross.
$tone misses with an attempted mid kick.
$tone misses with a straight right.

$tone closes the distance and clinches.
The Human blocks a punch to the side of the head.

The Human manages to break the clinch.

$tone pushes The Human up against the ropes in a clinch.
The Human scores with a shoulder strike.
A head punch on the inside from $tone fails to land.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
The Human fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Still in the clinch, The Human scores with a nice short uppercut.
$tone fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
A head punch on the inside from $tone fails to land.
The Human working on landing some head shots here - that one got through nicely.
The Human misses with a hook from the clinch.
Still in the clinch, The Human scores with a nice short uppercut.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The Human lands an uppercut.

The Human pushes off and circles away, back to the middle of the mat.
$tone throws an overhand right that lands on The Human's shoulder, as The Human tries to avoid the shot.
A telegraphed right hand from $tone misses the target.
The Human swats away the attempt to clinch by $tone.
$tone fails in his attempt to clinch.
$tone blocks a jab.
$tone's hands are dropping dangerously low here and The Human connects clean with a right hook that sends him down to one knee! $tone scrambles back to his feet.
The Human lands with a right hand.
$tone uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by The Human.
$tone looking to throw a kick but he's pulled out of it.
$tone needs to keep his hands up - The Human had a free shot at his head there.
A head kick misses from $tone.
Finn The Human is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
The Human shapes like he's going to throw a leg kick but settles back down.
A big left from The Human misses.
The Human misses with a straight left.
The crowd applaud the fighters' efforts here as the round comes to an end.
The Human looks to score with a jab to the body but $tone is just out of range.
$tone throws a sloppy head kick and The Human moves out of range easily.
The Human throws a right and a left that $tone avoids nicely.
$tone uses good head movement to avoid the hook from The Human.
Jab, jab by The Human - just one landing.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.

Finn The Human showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
OK. That's time! The bell goes and we're back to the action. This is the final round!

The Human scores with a leg kick.
Rob $tone has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
The Human lands with an overhand left.
The Human looking to land some kicks to the body here.
$tone lands a kick to the ribs of his opponent. Nice work there - in and out in a flash.
A slow jab from The Human misses its intended target.
$tone connects with a jab.
The Human ducks under a wild hook from $tone.
The Human wants to counter the offense by $tone and move into the clinch position.
A jab from The Human finds it's way through $tone's defenses.
$tone takes a body punch but keeps moving.
The Human moves into range and lands a nice leg kick.
The Human lands a leg kick. The shin dug right into the meat of the thigh.
The Human lands an overhand right.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
$tone connects with a body shot that sends The Human's belly button to the back.
The Human checks a leg kick.
The Human takes a kick to the side of the head.
$tone throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
$tone misses with a wild body shot.
The Human swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
The Human misses the shot to the body.
The Human throws a jab but it's blocked by $tone.
$tone misses with a head kick.
The Human avoids the clinch attempt nicely.

That's one minute gone in the round.
$tone walks into a straight right hand from The Human.
The fight stays on the outside here - $tone looks like he's thinking about clinching though.
The Human takes a push kick to the midsection and stumbles backwards.
Nice body punch from $tone.
The Human tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
The Human thuds a left hand into $tone's body.
The Human tries to land a leg kick but $tone saw it coming and moves away.
$tone lifts his leg as if looking to counter with a high kick.
The Human connects with a looping right hand.
The Human attempts a leg kick but it's missed by a good margin.
The Human avoids the head kick by $tone.
The Human swings away with a counter right hand but no contact made.
The Human throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
$tone showing good head movement there, avoiding the strikes from The Human.
$tone tries to clinch up.
The Human with the inside leg kick.
$tone throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
This has been an exciting period of action!
$tone takes a really solid shot there but just smiles back and shrugs his shoulders.
The Human fakes with a right hand and throws a good leg kick, right into the thigh. That had to hurt $tone.
An inside leg kick lands from The Human.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
$tone loads up on a big right hand but The Human slips the punch.
An inside leg kick lands from $tone.
This fight brought to you by 5M nutrition - it's mmmmm tasty. Nice jab by The Human.
The Human scores with a leg kick.
The Human connects nicely with a jab. Noted by the judges no doubt.
Nice uppercut lands for $tone. That snapped The Human's head back.
The Human tries a low kick but $tone avoids it.
Both fighters circling a little - $tone finishes the exchange with a kick to the body.
The Human takes a swing at $tone's ribcage but misses.
A chopping leg kick lands by The Human.
The Human scores with a straight right hand, right through his opponent's guard.
The Human lands a powerful looking uppercut that connected with his opponent's jaw.
A slow jab from The Human misses its intended target.
$tone feints a straight left to the body, then turns around with a flashy move and hits The Humans jaw with a dramatic spinning back fist!
$tone misses with a body kick.
The Human misses with a hook.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
A decent looking cross lands there for The Human.
The Human throws a big shot that misses.
$tone pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
$tone throws a body punch but The Human moves out of range.
$tone is hobbling a little on that front leg after taking quite a few leg kicks so far in this fight.
The Human throws a hard body shot but it just misses.

And that's the end of the fight!
Finn The Human comfortably won the final round on my scorecard.
Well The Human has outworked and out performed his opponent in all aspects of the game today. He was simply too good and the decision should be no more than a formality. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.

Judge Cecil Peabody scores the fight for Finn The Human!
Judge Chris Downing scores the fight for Finn The Human!
Judge Daniel Franklin scores the fight for Finn The Human!

Finn The Human wins by unanimous decision!
A very excited looking Finn The Human rambled incoherently for about 5 minutes post fight about how awesome he is. It was kinda funny for a while but then everyone got annoyed.