PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a lightweight MMA rules bout between The Cucumber (ranked 960 p4p, 3188 weight class) and Mister Mediocre (ranked 133 p4p, 388 weight class). Cucumber comes into the arena with Scooter - Nessaja blaring out of the sound system. Mister Mediocre has the better chin. Will he look to stand and bang today?

Cucumber
vs
Mediocre

184 cm
25
166
7 - 7 - 0

178 cm
26
158
2 - 3 - 0

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Insanely flexible

Good wrestler
World class boxer
Granite chin

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the lightweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 7 - 7 - 0, fighting out of Amsterdam, The Cucumber!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 2 - 3 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Mister Mediocre!
The judges for this bout are Ryoma Takatsuka, Roger Salmon and Micheangelo Fripello.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Mediocre walks into a left hand.
Nice shot by Cucumber.
Cucumber throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
Mediocre throws a counter combo.
Mediocre scores with a jab to the head.
Mediocre takes a shot to the body in his stride.
Cucumber looks to have improved his striking defense since last time we saw him fight.
Mediocre uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Cucumber.
Mediocre throws a fast counter high kick but Cucumber manages to duck under it in time.
Mediocre bobbing and weaving, closes the distance and lands a hook to the side of Cucumber's head.
Cucumber misses with a hook. Mediocre ducked under it nicely.
Cucumber attempts a low kick but it misses it's target.
Mediocre lands with a nice body punch.
Cucumber swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Cucumber misses with a wild body shot.
No joy there for Cucumber, who threw a few shots but didn't land.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Cucumber fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Mediocre manages to avoid it.
The Cucumber seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
A big left from Mediocre misses.
Cucumber scores with a jab to the body.
Mediocre scores with a crisp jab that stopped Cucumber in his tracks.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Cucumber lands a pitter patter jab to the forehead of his opponent.
Cucumber throws a wild combination but nothing lands.
Cucumber ducks under a wild hook from Mediocre.
Cucumber misses with a body punch
and Mediocre counters with a stiff right hand.
Cucumber throws a jab but it's blocked by Mediocre.
Cucumber throws a combination but it was largely blocked by Mediocre.
Mediocre swings away with a counter right hand but no contact made.
Cucumber throws a front kick aimed at Mediocre's knee but Mediocre avoids it well.
Mediocre swings away with a counter right hand but no contact made.
Cucumber bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Cucumber looks to score with a jab to the body but Mediocre is just out of range.
Cucumber slips a jab from Mediocre.
Cucumber misses with a straight left.
Cucumber looks to score with a jab to the body but Mediocre is just out of range.
Cucumber lands a body shot.
Mediocre moves out of range as Cucumber strikes.
Mediocre let fly with a counter punch to the body but it didn't land.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Cucumber lands a jab to Mediocre's midsection.
A telegraphed right hand from Cucumber misses the target.
Cucumber is looking to wear down Mediocre with body shots, infact he's throwing more body shots than head shots at the moment.
Mediocre takes a jab on the nose. He smiles like he loves it and keeps coming.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Mediocre on the wrong end of a vicious looking body shot.
Mediocre takes a jab right on the nose. That must have hurt but he shrugs his shoulders and looks to return the favor.
Cucumber tests Mediocre's chin there with a solid looking shot.
Cucumber throws a predictable looking body shot
and Mediocre counters with a big head kick but Cucumber shrugs it off.
Cucumber looks to score with a jab to the body but Mediocre is just out of range.
Cucumber misses with a left hand
and Mediocre comes in over the top with a devastating right hand! Cucumber stumbles back against the cage, looking to regain his senses but Mediocre is on him like rabid pit bull! Cucumber slumps to the ground under a storm of punches and this fight is over!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 2:39 of round 1, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Mister Mediocre!
Mister Mediocre seemed lost for words in his post fight interview but he remembered to thank his fans and directed everyone to his website.