PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a super heavyweight MMA rules bout between Dick Dastardly (ranked 2168 p4p, 5033 weight class) and Sargent Slaughter (ranked 71 p4p, 177 weight class). Dastardly comes to the cage accompanied by DIRTY by- Christina Aguilera . Sargent Slaughter told me before the fight that he's been watching a lot of DVDs so let's see if that helps him in this one! I can't wait to find out!

Dastardly
vs
Slaughter

201 cm
26
298
3 - 3 - 0

192 cm
25
300
0 - 0 - 0

BJJ White Belt
Excellent boxer
Granite chin

Good wrestler
Brawler
Tends to cut

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the super heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 3 - 3 - 0, fighting out of Hilo, Dick Dastardly !
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 0 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Hilo, Sargent Slaughter!
The judges for this bout are Russell Pearce, Steve Montenegro and Anthony Taglia.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Boom, another hit is landed. "You're gunna get knocked out" taunts Dastardly , as that shot connected.

It looks like Sargent Slaughter has been cut.
Dastardly misses with a hook. Slaughter ducked under it nicely.

Dastardly cracks Slaughter with a big right hand that sends him to the floor! Slaughter looks wobbly but he's sprung back up to his feet straight away… can Dastardly finish him?

Slaughter forces Dastardly back against the cage and clinches.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Dastardly misses with a shot to the kidneys.
Dastardly misses with a hook to the ribs.
Slaughter misses with a short punch on the inside.
Dastardly is trying to push Slaughter away but Slaughter has him pressed against the cage, so he's going nowhere.
Slaughter tries to take the fight to the ground by pulling guard but can't manage it.
Slaughter crunches a lovely knee into Dastardly 's ribcage.
Slaughter tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
Dastardly can't break the clinch.
Slaughter is trying to drag Dastardly to the mat but Dastardly just about manages to keep his footing. He used the cage to his advantage there.

Slaughter decides to pull guard.
Slaughter looking to sweep here. No luck so far.
Dastardly definitely looks more muscular than last time we saw him fight.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Slaughter is pulling down on Dastardly 's head to control his posture.

Slaughter looking for a guillotine here but Dastardly defends easily.
Slaughter is trying to control the position but Dastardly postures up.

Slaughter is active off his back here, looking for submissions.
Slaughter wants to sweep but no luck.
Slaughter not looking particularly offensive just at the moment.
Dastardly throwing strikes from guard but Slaughter blocks nicely.
Dastardly slows down the pace of the fight, as he sits in guard.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Neither fighter has done anything of merit for a good minute or two here and the crowd are not happy about it.
Slaughter looking for a sweep. Not yet Slaughter, not yet.
We get told so often about how wrestlers don't like to be on their backs. Let's see if Slaughter can do anything to dispel that myth.
Dastardly trying to control the position from guard on top but Slaughter is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.

The referee has decided to stand the fighters back up, so we'll restart on the feet.
The fighters circling - Dastardly throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Dastardly throws the left hand but Slaughter avoids the punch easily.
Dastardly swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Slaughter dives in for a single leg takedown but Dastardly sprawls and the fighters end up clinched against the cage.
Dick Dastardly has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Sargent Slaughter.
Slaughter throws a right hand that Dastardly ducks under and follows up with a left that Dastardly also avoids with ease.
Slaughter takes a solid shot to the body. That one hurt him but he's trying not to show it.
Slaughter looks winded!
Dastardly circles away before darting back in with a big straight right hand. It connects beautifully and sends Slaughter tumbling to the canvas! He's out cold! Dastardly wins by KO!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 2:49 of round 1, we have a winner by way of KO (Punch). Dick Dastardly !
Dick Dastardly decided to hype himself up post fight. It was going well but he went on about it a bit too long and the crowd turned on him a little.