PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a lightweight kickboxing rules bout between Island Turd Two (ranked 5929 p4p, 5145 weight class) and Cameron Roosevelt (ranked 606 p4p, 553 weight class). Island Turd Two has the edge in experience - let's see if he can make that count tonight.

Turd Two
vs
Roosevelt

182 cm
25
145
1 - 1 - 0

176 cm
25
157
0 - 0 - 0

Excellent MT
Self confident

Excellent MT
Powerful

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the lightweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 1 - 1 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Island Turd Two!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 0 - 0 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Cameron Roosevelt!
The judges for this bout are David Hoff, Michael Johnstone and Winston Alpacca.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
A big right from Turd Two misses.
Roosevelt takes one on the button.
Turd Two looks to have improved his striking defense since last time we saw him fight.
Turd Two uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Roosevelt.
Turd Two looks to throw the jab but Roosevelt is out of range.
Roosevelt missing with a left hand there. Turd Two was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
A shot to the liver by Turd Two. Beautiful body shot.
Island Turd Two seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Roosevelt thows a left - swing and a miss!
Turd Two throwing a counter right hand but Roosevelt manages to avoid it.
Roosevelt on the wrong end of a vicious looking body shot.
Turd Two moves out of range of the strikes.
Turd Two keeps his opponent at a distance with a nice jab.
Turd Two misses with a wild body shot.
A little jabbing left from Roosevelt on the counter but it doesn't find it's target.
Turd Two throws a body punch but Roosevelt moves out of range.
Turd Two stuns Roosevelt with a nice body shot, before stepping back out of range.
Roosevelt misses with an attempted mid kick.
Turd Two is looking to clinch.
A little jabbing left from Roosevelt on the counter but it doesn't find it's target.
A looping hook to the body misses from Turd Two. Roosevelt does a little dance to reset his feet.
A little jabbing left from Roosevelt on the counter but it doesn't find it's target.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Turd Two misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Roosevelt.
Turd Two lands an overhand right.
Turd Two stuns Roosevelt with a nice body shot, before stepping back out of range.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Turd Two connects with a body shot.
Roosevelt ducks under a wild hook from Turd Two.

Turd Two closes the distance and clinches.
Turd Two blocks an uppercut.
Turd Two lands a nice uppercut.
Roosevelt blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Roosevelt is trying to stall.
Roosevelt blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Turd Two misses with a short punch on the inside.
A nice left hand lands by Roosevelt.
Turd Two really does look like a pencil wearing a pair of gloves. Let's hope he has a gameplan to suit that ridiculous body shape.
Turd Two misses with a hook from the clinch.
Turd Two blocks an uppercut.
Turd Two fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Roosevelt blocks an uppercut.
Roosevelt is trying to maintain a safe position but Turd Two gets an underhook and turns Roosevelt into the ropes.

Roosevelt's corner calls for him to break the clinch, which he does.
Turd Two scores with a jab to the jaw of his opponent.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Turd Two scores with the left hand. Roosevelt knows he should have avoided that one.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Roosevelt misses with a hook.
Turd Two bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Turd Two waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Roosevelt.
Turd Two lands a pitter patter jab to the forehead of his opponent.
Roosevelt uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Turd Two.
Turd Two lands a lovely overhand right.
Turd Two lands a nice shot to the body.
Turd Two tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Roosevelt was well out of range. Poor timing from Turd Two.
Turd Two fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Roosevelt manages to avoid it.
Turd Two lands with a good body shot.
Turd Two misses the jab.
Roosevelt gets cracked there but stands up to it.
The crowd applaud the fighters' efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Roosevelt walks into a stiff left hand from Turd Two.
Roosevelt throws a shot from downtown. Turd Two moves away and avoids it.
Turd Two misses with a wild body shot.
Roosevelt throws a leg kick which misses Turd Two's front leg but catches the back leg as Turd Two tries to avoid it.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.

Island Turd Two dominated that round.
That's time! Turd Two's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight.

Turd Two sizes up Roosevelt with a pawing jab and scores with a straight right down the middle.
Turd Two stuns Roosevelt with a nice body shot, before stepping back out of range.
Turd Two tries to close the distance and clinch up but Roosevelt swats him away and circles back towards the center.
Turd Two swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Turd Two lands a head shot.
Turd Two lands a body shot.
Roosevelt throws a looping overhand right but Turd Two ducks down to avoid it.
Roosevelt tries to bum rush Turd Two with a series of wild strikes but Turd Two uses good footwork to avoid the assault.
Turd Two is looking to wear down Roosevelt with body shots, infact he's throwing more body shots than head shots at the moment.
Roosevelt ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Turd Two moves away.
Turd Two fails in his attempt to clinch.
Turd Two sizes up Roosevelt with a pawing jab and scores with a straight right down the middle.
Turd Two is really dominating this fight. Is there anything that Roosevelt can do to turn this around?
Turd Two tries to clinch up but Roosevelt circles away and keeps his distance.
Turd Two wants to clinch up but Roosevelt keeps it at a distance.
Roosevelt swings for the body but Turd Two moves out of range.
Turd Two bobbing and weaving, closes the distance and lands a hook to the side of Roosevelt's head.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Roosevelt lands a leg kick that knocks Turd Two off balance momentarily.
Roosevelt avoids the body shot from Turd Two.
Turd Two throws a body shot but no joy.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Turd Two lands with an overhand left.
Turd Two thuds a left hand into Roosevelt's body.

Turd Two moves into the clinch.
Roosevelt tries a body shot but Turd Two blocks it.
Roosevelt misses with a shot to the kidneys.
Roosevelt tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.

Roosevelt manages to break the clinch.
Roosevelt thows a left - swing and a miss!
Roosevelt lands a jab to the nose.
Turd Two fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Roosevelt manages to avoid it.
Turd Two throws a couple of head shots and lands with the final one - a decent hook, which struck Roosevelt on the side of the head.
Turd Two tries to clinch but Roosevelt is having none of it.
Turd Two scores with a sloppy punch to the body. Not much technique there but it did the business.
Turd Two uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Roosevelt.
Turd Two fakes a head punch and goes low to the body. Nicely done.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Turd Two scores with a punch to the gut of his opponent.
Turd Two lands a straight punch to the body, keeping Roosevelt at a distance.
It really doesn't seem like the step up in weight is hurting Turd Two here at all. He's more than holding his own against the bigger man.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Roosevelt takes a shot to the body in his stride.
A decent looking cross lands there for Turd Two.
Turd Two misses with a body shot.
Island Turd Two is winning the standup battle so far.
Turd Two misses with a wild body shot.
Roosevelt moves into range and lands a nice leg kick.
A jab from Turd Two does it's job there.
Roosevelt takes a solid shot to the body. That one hurt him but he's trying not to show it.
Roosevelt lands with an uppercut that bounces Turd Two off the ropes and back into range.
Roosevelt takes a shot to the body in his stride.
Turd Two digs a good body shot into Roosevelt's ribs.
Turd Two bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Turd Two just misses with a punch to the body.
Roosevelt looks shocked there as he takes a right hand to the temple.
The crowd applaud the fighters' efforts here as the round comes to an end.

Turd Two closes the distance and clinches.
Roosevelt missing with knees to the body.
Roosevelt tries a knee to the head but he's missed.
A real battle for position is taking place between these two warriors.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.

Island Turd Two dominated that second round.
That's time! Turd Two's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight. This is the final round!

Roosevelt throws a hook but Turd Two blocks it.
Turd Two throws a body shot but no joy.
Roosevelt misses the jab.
Roosevelt doesn't react quick enough there as he takes a shot to the body.
Turd Two connects with a good right hand that stumbles Roosevelt. Roosevelt circles away out of range and recomposes himself.
A head kick misses from Roosevelt.
A shot to the liver by Turd Two. Beautiful body shot.
Nice body punch from Turd Two.

Turd Two gets in close and instigates a clinch.
Roosevelt looking to slow down the pace here.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Turd Two.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.

Turd Two breaks the clinch and we're back to striking at distance.
Roosevelt avoids the body shot from Turd Two.
Turd Two keeps his opponent at a distance with a nice jab.
Turd Two wants to clinch.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Turd Two throws a body punch but Roosevelt moves out of range.
Turd Two cracks a nice hook into Roosevelt's ribs.
Roosevelt throws a right hand that Turd Two ducks under and follows up with a left that Turd Two also avoids with ease.
Turd Two throws a jab to the body, straight down the pipe. Boom. That sent Roosevelt stumbling backwards but he manages to regain his composure quickly.
Turd Two feints a straight left to the body, then turns around with a flashy move and hits Roosevelts jaw with a dramatic spinning back fist!
Roosevelt takes one to the side of the head.
Roosevelt lands the left hand.
Turd Two lands with a hook. Roosevelt tried to avoid it but it clipped the top of his head.
Turd Two misses with a double jab.
Roosevelt keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
A little jabbing left from Roosevelt on the counter but it doesn't find it's target.
A looping hook to the body misses from Turd Two. Roosevelt does a little dance to reset his feet.
Turd Two tries to clinch up
and Roosevelt counters with a solid body kick.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Turd Two takes a shot to the nose. Hopefully that hasn't broken it.
Roosevelt connects with a right hand. Turd Two shakes it off.

Turd Two is rocked!

That's two minutes gone in the round.
A jab from Turd Two misses.
Oh Turd Two is still all over the place! His legs are completely gone! Will he be able to recover?!!
Roosevelt connects with a crushing straight, right on the bridge of Turd Two's nose, sending him crumpling to the mat! That's really rocked Turd Two - is he going to beat the count??? 4,5,6,7,8,9.....10 - he's not made it - this one is all over!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 2:08 of round 3, we have a winner by way of TKO (Punch). Cameron Roosevelt!