PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a featherweight MMA rules bout between Willie Dustice (ranked 2968 p4p, 4619 weight class) and Island Turd Five (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). We have two fighters making their debuts here, so let's see who comes out of this one with their first professional victory.

Dustice
vs
Turd Five

185 cm
25
155
0 - 0 - 0

191 cm
25
155
0 - 0 - 0

BJJ Blue Belt
Brawler
Granite chin

Good takedowns
Brawler
Determined

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the featherweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 0 - 0 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Willie Dustice!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 0 - 0 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Island Turd Five!
The judges for this bout are Bart Greer, Daniel Franklin and Peter Branson.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!

Turd Five gets tackled into the cage by Dustice. Dustice maintains the clinch.
Turd Five is looking to break free of the clinch but Dustice has double underhooks.
Dustice taking a breather.
Dustice is trying to force a seperation but Turd Five has the dominant position.
Turd Five swings away with an uppercut that misses.
Turd Five misses with some punches.
Dustice can't break the clinch.
Dustice holding his opponent close, against the cage.
Turd Five blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Dustice prevents the takedown attempt.
Turd Five blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Dustice keeps the fight in the clinch, despite Turd Five's efforts to push away.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Turd Five tries to break free but Dustice pushes him back against the cage.
Turd Five is trying to work out of this bad position, with his back against the cage.
Dustice is trying to break the clinch but Turd Five is controlling him.
With the fighters up against the cage, Dustice throws an elbow but misses.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Turd Five wants to break the clinch but can't.
Turd Five wants to push off and get back to the center of the mat but Dustice has him pressed against the cage.
Dustice is trying to pull guard but Turd Five has him pressed against the cage.
Turd Five tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Dustice's elbow.

Dustice breaks the clinch and we're back to striking at distance.

Dustice moves into the clinch.

Turd Five gets a trip takedown into half guard.
Dustice wants to control the action here but instead Turd Five manages to pass to full mount!
Turd Five takes a little breather and maintains the position. The referee will be looking for him to stay active from such a dominant position though.
Turd Five is continuing to stall.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Turd Five is trying to take his opponent's back.
Turd Five controlling his opponent.

Turd Five looking for a guillotine from mount but Dustice is having none of it.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Turd Five controlling the pace for now.

Turd Five get's back to his feet.

Dustice moves into the clinch successfully.

Dustice pushes off and circles away, back to the middle of the mat.
Dustice just misses with a punch to the body.

Turd Five clinches up against the cage.
Turd Five is clearly stalling here... Pick up the pace son.

Turd Five pulls guard.
Turd Five is pulling down on Dustice's head to control his posture.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Dustice stopping the sweep attempt from Turd Five.
Turd Five bucks up whilst keeping hold of a body lock, managing to reverse the position. Now he's in top in Dustice's guard.

The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Turd Five controls from within his opponent's guard.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.

Island Turd Five dominated that round.
That's time! Dustice's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight.

Dustice lunges in with swinging rights and lefts but Turd Five circles away quickly and effectively.
Turd Five misses with a hook. Dustice ducked under it nicely.
Turd Five has his head slapped from side to side by a 3 punch combination. That must have hurt him.

It looks like Island Turd Five has been cut.

Dustice clinches with his opponent.

Turd Five gets control of Dustice's arms and successfully pulls guard. Turd Five will no doubt be looking for submissions off his back.
Turd Five is doing well to control the posture of his opponent and prevent any damage.
Turd Five bucks up whilst keeping hold of a body lock, managing to reverse the position. Now he's in top in Dustice's guard.

Turd Five has been the more effective fighter overall so far.
Dustice tries to land a sweep but no joy.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.

Turd Five decides to stand up and beckons his opponent to follow.

Dustice moves into range and clinches up with Turd Five.

Turd Five has double underhooks and is working for a body lock takedown. He's got it. The fighters land in half guard but Dustice regains guard immediately.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Dustice tries to land a sweep but no joy.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Turd Five controlling from the guard. I say controlling but really, he's stalling.
Turd Five works a leg free and moves into half guard.
Turd Five trying to control the pace.
Let's hope that Turd Five has the urge to step up the pace any second now because for the last 15 or 20 seconds he's just been holding on tight.

Turd Five decides to stand up and try his luck on the feet.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Neither fighter has done anything of merit for a good minute or two here and the crowd are not happy about it.

Turd Five has Dustice up against the cage in a clinch.
Turd Five fails to pull the fight into his guard.
Turd Five blocking some punches.
Dustice wants to break free. God knows he wants to breaaaak freeee.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Dustice.

Dustice breaks the clinch and we return to the middle of the mat.

Turd Five closes the distance and presses his opponent up against the cage.
Dustice keeps control of Turd Five as he tries to wriggle out of the double underhooks.
Dustice is trying to push Turd Five away but Turd Five has him pressed against the cage, so he's going nowhere.
Dustice wants to break the clinch but can't.

Turd Five drags the fight down to the ground.
Turd Five bucks up whilst keeping hold of a body lock, managing to reverse the position. Now he's in top in Dustice's guard.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Turd Five forces his way into half guard.

Turd Five decides he's had enough of the ground and stands up.
Dustice uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Turd Five.

Turd Five has closed the distance and engaged Dustice in a clinch.
Dustice really does look like a pencil wearing a pair of gloves. Let's hope he has a gameplan to suit that ridiculous body shape.
Dustice tries to pull guard but Turd Five won't allow it.
Both fighters are absolutely exhausted here.

Turd Five has clasped his hands together around Dustice's back... aaand, he's got a takedown into side control. Nicely done.
Turd Five moving around in side mount but really he's just happy to control for now.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
We're seeing a lot of stalling here from Turd Five.

Turd Five decides to take the fight back to the feet.
Willie Dustice is looking to throw some combinations by the looks of things.
Turd Five throws a jab but it's blocked by Dustice.

Dustice gets in close and instigates a clinch.

Turd Five jumps guard.
Turd Five controlling the position.
Yet more stalling tactics from Turd Five.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.

Island Turd Five showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
The cut man is working on Island Turd Five's cut.
That's time! Dustice's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight. This is the final round!

Dustice instigates a clinch.
Dustice wants to break free but Turd Five has control.
Dustice has had enough of the clinch and is looking to separate.
Dustice jumps guard but his hands slip and he falls flat on his back. Well, he's made himself look a right mug there, as Turd Five walks away with a smile on his face. Dustice gets slowly back to his feet and shakes his head.
Dustice scores with a head kick.
Dustice checks the leg kick nicely there.
Turd Five tries a low kick but Dustice avoids it.
Turd Five swings and misses with a hook to the body.

Dustice moves into range and clinches up with Turd Five.
Dustice keeps the fight in the clinch, despite Turd Five's efforts to push away.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Dustice misses with some punches.

Turd Five jumps into guard, dragging Dustice to the mat.
Dustice has to be careful here, sitting in the guard of a superior BJJ player.
Dustice looking to sit in guard and control but Turd Five gets the butterfly guard and sweeps. He's now in the guard on the top.

Turd Five not doing a lot at the moment. He'll have to show some more aggression or the fight will get stood up.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Turd Five pushing down on Dustice's thigh, trying to pass to half guard. He's managed it... Nice work.
Turd Five with a momentary lay and pray from half guard.
Turd Five's corner are shouting for him to control the position and he seems happy to oblige.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Neither fighter has done anything of merit for a good minute or two here and the crowd are not happy about it.
Dustice wants to get back to full guard but Turd Five has mounted him!
Turd Five tucks in and makes sure he doesn't lose the dominant position.
Dustice is really trying hard to get back to his feet.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Dustice is working to get back to half guard.
Both fighters are breathing heavily.
Turd Five controlling his opponent.
Turd Five avoids the attempt from Dustice to control.
Turd Five looking to control and managing it successfully.
Turd Five avoids the attempt from Dustice to control.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
There's not a lot going on here and the crowd are letting the fighters know they're not willing to tolerate a lack of action.
Turd Five moves to the back position.
Island Turd Five has got the better of the ground game so far.
Turd Five is controlling his opponent, waiting for an opportunity to finish.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!
Dustice tries to break free.
Willie Dustice has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
Well, with Turd Five on his back, surely it's only a matter of time before Dustice is tapping out... Can he escape the position?
You know, I was talking to some of our celebrities at ringside tonight and they were split right down the middle on who was going to win this fight.

And that's the end of the fight!
Island Turd Five comfortably won the final round on my scorecard.
I've got Turd Five winning every round here. Surely the decision will go his way and he'll pick up a well deserved decision victory. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Bart Greer scores the fight 27:30
Judge Daniel Franklin scores the fight 27:30
Judge Peter Branson scores the fight 27:30

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Island Turd Five!