PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a welterweight MMA rules bout between Biggus Dickus (ranked 5272 p4p, 3814 weight class) and Gregory Rumble (ranked 570 p4p, 476 weight class). Biggus Dickus could well score a knockout today. He has the power to get to Gregory Rumble's chin.

Dickus
vs
Rumble

185 cm
21
182
2 - 8 - 0

177 cm
27
180
2 - 2 - 0

Good takedowns
Excellent boxer
KO power

Dangerous GnP
Dangerous knees
Powerful

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the welterweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 2 - 8 - 0, fighting out of Sydney, Biggus Dickus!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 2 - 2 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Gregory Rumble!
The judges for this bout are Donald Grub, James Atkins and Colin Fotheringham.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Rumble looks to score with a jab to the body but Dickus is just out of range.
Dickus is looking to chop away at Rumble's legs.
A nice leg kick lands there from Rumble.
Rumble attempts a leg kick but it's missed by a good margin.
Rumble takes a swing at Dickus's ribcage but misses.
Rumble lands a leg kick that knocks Dickus off balance momentarily.
Dickus bobs and weaves and unloads with a good uppercut.
Dickus connects with a body shot that sends Rumble's belly button to the back.
A punch combination from Rumble misses.
Rumble misses with a looping left.
Rumble will need to close the distance a bit before he attacks - that leg kick was thrown from too far away.
Rumble tries to score with an inside leg kick but telegraphs it and Dickus is able to avoid easily.
Dickus uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Rumble.
A little feinted left hand from Dickus on the counter but he doesn't commit to it.
Rumble takes a shot to the eye socket. That's gotta hurt.
Rumble misses with a body shot.
Rumble throws a leg kick but Dickus checks it.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Rumble ducks right into an uppercut from Dickus.
Good leg kick by Rumble.
Dickus moves into range and connects with a jab.
A looping hook to the body misses from Rumble. Dickus does a little dance to reset his feet.
Dickus lands an overhand right.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Rumble fakes a couple of low kicks, before throwing one on the third attempt. It connects and Dickus has to reset his feet before getting ready to engage.
Rumble slips a jab from Dickus.
Dickus throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Rumble looks more muscular than last time we saw him. He must have been on the weights.
Rumble on the receiving end of a decent leg kick there by Dickus. Dickus obviously looking to wear him down.
Dickus is using his height advantage well here, landing a good percentage of his punches.
Dickus throws a wild combination but nothing lands.
Rumble is throwing a lot of body shots here, looking to wear down Dickus rather than just go for the knockout.
Rumble throws a predictable looking body shot

and Dickus counters with a shoot takedown into half guard.
We could do with one of the fighters taking the initiative a bit more on the ground - they're both waiting to capitalize on a mistake.
Rumble is looking to get back to full guard here but Dickus has managed to pass to side control instead.
Dickus tries to land with some ground and pound but misses.
Dickus is chipping away with strikes.
Rumble is positioning himself to get back to half guard.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Rumble on the wrong end of some ground and pound.
Rumble taking a bit of punishment here - Dickus scoring with strikes.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
You can see the frustration on Rumble's face as Dickus controls the position.
Rumble takes a big shot right to the temple there but he's taken it well.
Dickus controlling from side mount.
Dickus cracks Rumble with an elbow. That is naaassty.
Dickus cracks Rumble with a big right hand but Rumble just smiles back at him and invites him to have another go.
The referee asks Dickus politely if he wouldn't mind getting on with it and actually doing something. Dickus prefers to stall for the moment though.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Rumble sneaks a leg under to get back to half guard.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Dickus has freed up his trapped foot and advances to mount.
BOOM! Dickus connects with a massive shot to the dome!
Dickus with good strikes from the mount here!
Dickus landing strikes from the mount and Rumble is in trouble!
Dickus lands a big elbow.
Rumble can't escape the position.
Rumble flailing away with punches but nothing is landing.
Rumble really trying hard to get back to half guard here.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Rumble gets back to half guard.
Dickus is looking to advance position but Rumble won't allow it.
Dickus winds up and cracks Rumble with a swinging punch to the side of the head.
Rumble is looking to regain full guard. Not this time though.
Ground and pound from Dickus.
Dickus wants to pass to mount but Rumble is defending the position.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Dickus content to sit in half guard and control for a moment.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.

Biggus Dickus dominated that round.
The fighters' corners scream their final instructions, as the referee calls time. Here we go, back to the action!

Rumble is looking to chop away at Dickus's legs.
Dickus lands with a nice body punch.
Rumble moves out of range as Dickus strikes.
Dickus is really dominating this fight. Is there anything that Rumble can do to turn this around?
Dickus throws a leg kick that misses.
Dickus stumbles momentarily as he takes a strong leg kick from Rumble.
Rumble scores with a jab. Dickus acknowledges it with a nod of the head.
Rumble connects with an inside leg kick.
Rumble fakes a couple of low kicks, before throwing one on the third attempt. It connects and Dickus has to reset his feet before getting ready to engage.
Gregory Rumble seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Rumble blocks a low kick nicely.
Rumble tries to work over Dickus's front leg with a kick but Dickus checks it.
Dickus went nuts there looking for a big combo counter but none of the flurry connected.
Rumble misses with a body punch

so Dickus counters with a double leg into guard. Good agility.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Dickus lands a couple of decent looking shots.
Rumble is striking off his back. Dickus thinks nothing of it though and passes easily into half guard.
Dickus not doing much here.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Dickus looks to score some points with some ground and pound.
Rumble wants to get back to full guard.
Dickus drops an elbow to the side of Rumble's head.
Rumble manages to get to full guard.
Dickus trying to land body shots but he keeps hitting the mat.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are hurling abuse towards the fighters... You can hardly blame them though because there isn't a lot going on in the fight.
Rumble preventing the ground and pound from doing any damage.
Dickus sitting in guard here, content to control.
Dickus works over Rumble with some ground and pound from guard.
Dickus controls from within his opponent's guard.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Rumble preventing the ground and pound from doing any damage.
The referee must be thinking about standing these guys back up.
Dickus with a couple of shots to the head there. Not particularly brutal.
Dickus working in close now, lands a nice elbow to the side of Rumble's head.

Rumble had isolated an arm as going for a kimura. Dickus defends it easily.

Rumble is looking for a guillotine. You can't force these things though and Dickus defends well.

The referee has motioned to the fighters to stand back up.
Rumble throws a body shot but no joy.
Rumble has his head snapped back a nice jab. A little nod from Rumble there as he acknowledges the shot.

Dickus dives in and scores a takedown into Rumble's guard.
Dickus looking to control the position here, rather than advance.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Dickus working from the guard for now, landing some ground and pound.
Dickus postures up in Rumble's guard and throws a big left but Rumble blocks it.
Dickus is just sitting in guard, looking to avoid any submissions.
Dickus passes easily into side control. Nice work.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
Dickus controls the position from side control.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.

Biggus Dickus dominated that second round.
That's the end of the interval. I'm sure that seemed a lot quicker than a minute for our two fighters! Back to the action. This is the final round!

Dickus pivots, looking for a leg kick but Rumble is out of range and Dickus settles back down.
Rumble scoring well with a low kick there.
A jab from Rumble does it's job there.
Rumble throws a leg kick that misses.
Good leg kick by Rumble.
Rumble throws a low kick but Dickus avoids it.

Dickus gets a takedown into half guard.
Dickus has been looking to land a fair amount of strikes on the ground. He might be looking to soften his opponent up in order to work for a submission.
Rumble is looking for a sweep. Dickus is wise to his cunning plan and keeps the top position.
Rumble on the receiving end of some nice ground and pound.
Dickus stalling.
Dickus looks to score some points with some ground and pound.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Dickus lands with a punch from half guard.
Dickus seems content to maintain position for now, rather than mounting any offense.
Rumble regains full guard. Nicely done.
Dickus is stalling in the full guard.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
My god... these two guys really need to pick up the pace or everyone will leave to go get a beer.
Dickus stands up over Rumble, holding his feet. He dives back in and lands a decent shot to the head.
Dickus is working Rumble over from the guard. He should look to pass the guard and do a little more damage with these strikes.
Dickus is stalling in the full guard.

Rumble is working actively off his back, looking to secure an arm or perhaps work for a triangle.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Dickus distracts Rumble with his right hand and drops a big elbow with his other arm.
Dickus looking to control the position here, rather than advance.
Dickus throws a big right hand that misses.

The referee decides to stand the fighters back up.
Dickus throws a looping overhand right but Rumble ducks down to avoid it.
Rumble connects with a leg kick.
Dickus takes a shot right to the liver - Bas would have been proud of that punch.
Dickus is hobbling a little on that front leg after taking quite a few leg kicks so far in this fight.
Rumble tried to score with a low kick but Dickus checks it.
The fighters circling - Dickus throws out the jab but it was never going to land.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Dickus throws a body punch but Rumble moves out of range.
Rumble throws a body punch but Dickus moves out of range.
Dickus throws a one two combo.
Rumble throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Dickus checks a leg kick nicely.
Rumble misses with a low kick.
Rumble throws a leg kick
and Dickus counters with a thumping low kick.
Rumble throws a hook to the side of Dickus's head but Dickus sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
Rumble digs a good hook to Dickus's body.
Gregory Rumble seems to be getting the better of the standup.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Dickus lands a leg kick and bounces back out of range.
Rumble finds nothing but air with that leg kick attempt.
Gregory Rumble has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
Rumble throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Dickus changes levels looking for a counter takedown but doesn't commit.
Rumble takes an uppercut right on the button but keeps his composure.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
Dickus throws a body kick but he was well out of range there.
Good leg kick by Rumble.

Dickus closes the distance and gets a double leg, slamming Rumble to the mat! Rumble manages to get full guard.
Biggus Dickus is fighting for a decision here - he's started to take the cautious approach.
Rumble is working an open guard here, looking to improve his position. No doubt that will leave him open to counters but at least he's being more offensive.

And that's the end of the fight!
That was a close round. You could make an argument for either fighter but I would give it to Biggus Dickus.
Well I reckon that's a shut out for Dickus, winning every round. Will the judges agree? They are the ones who matter, even if they are often depressingly incompetent. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Donald Grub scores the fight 29:28
Judge James Atkins scores the fight 30:27
Judge Colin Fotheringham scores the fight 30:27

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Biggus Dickus!
An out of breath Biggus Dickus thanked his loyal fans in his post fight interview, giving them credit for his success over the course of his career.