PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a bantamweight MMA rules bout between Charlie River (ranked 517 p4p, 2182 weight class) and Jaro Lalla (ranked 34 p4p, 129 weight class). Chooooooooon! I think River might be my favorite fighter, now he's come out to Waylon Jennings - I've Always Been Crazy. Lalla comes into a darkened arena with his song building. ЛЮБИ kicks in, the lights come on and the crowd goes wild! What a showman! Charlie River has the better chin. Will he look to stand and bang today?

River
vs
Lalla

170 cm
30
143
27 - 15 - 1

175 cm
40
118
27 - 32 - 2

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Granite chin

Excellent grappler
Counter fighter
Determined

Paddy's Enhancing Drugs (160Q)
Bondi MMA 🏝️

Fantasy Threads

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the bantamweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 27 - 15 - 1, fighting out of New York, Charlie River!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 27 - 32 - 2, fighting out of London, Jaro Lalla!
The judges for this bout are Ben Hemmingworth, Darius Henderson and Winston Howard.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
River just misses with a punch to the body.
Lalla fails in his attempt to clinch.
Some wild striking there from River.
Lalla shoots in for a takedown. "I don't think so" says River as he avoids it easily.
Lalla takes a shot right to the bread basket.
Charlie River seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
River scoring well with a low kick there.
Lalla on the wrong end of a nice jab.

It looks like Jaro Lalla has been cut.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
River avoids the clinch attempt nicely.
River fails to land with a series of punches.
River throws a head kick that misses.

That's one minute gone in the round.

Lalla closes the distance and scores a nice trip takedown into half guard. River did well to prevent Lalla getting side control.
River on his back here. We all know that wrestlers don't like being on their back so let's see if River tries to get out of the position.
Lalla is trying to control. River wants to improve his position but can't escape this time.
Still in half guard, Lalla seems content to control.
Lalla wants to take a breather but River is having none of it.

Lalla is sneakily working for an arm triangle but River sees it coming and defends easily.
Lalla missing with the ground and pound from half guard.

That's two minutes gone in the round.

Lalla is working for submissions here but there's nothing on.
River knows he needs to get back to his feet asap. He's simply no match for Lalla on the ground.
Lalla prevents River from standing back up.
We may be looking at a referee standup if the pace doesn't pick up soon.
Lalla scoring with strikes to the body and head.
Lalla is looking to take a break and control but River is keeping him honest, looking to work from the bottom.
River looks like he's trying to stand up.

Lalla is trying to work for a kimura. This could be trouble! No, River has managed to free his arm - good work.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Lalla wants to lay and pray for a moment but River keeps working.

The referee has motioned to the fighters to stand back up.
River paws at his opponent with the jab and then lunges in with a straight, right on the button.

Lalla is rocked!
River misses with a head kick.
Lalla is still on wobbly legs! Can River finish him?
A solid leg kick lands there for River.
Lalla seems to have recovered his senses.
River fakes a right and follows up with a big left that drops Lalla to one knee - oooooh, he's wobbly! Lalla looks to clinch but River throws him off and pummels him into the canvas! Lalla taps out under the strikes! The fight is over!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 4:57 of round 1, we have a winner by way of Submission (Strikes). Charlie River!
A very excited looking Charlie River made sure he remembered to thank all the fans both in the arena and on the internet. He said all the coolest people spend all day on MMA websites, which got a big reaction.
Jaro Lalla spoke after the fight, saying '$#%@@@!!! SHIT!!!!! FUC@#$ YOU ALL!@#$#@@'.