PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a bantamweight MMA rules bout between Joe Biden (ranked 290 p4p, 723 weight class) and Giggle Valentine (ranked 20 p4p, 52 weight class). Biden kept the crowd waiting but all that was forgotten when his ring entrance music started. The incomparable musical genius that is Side to Side. Joe Biden has the better chin. Will he look to stand and bang today?

Biden
vs
Valentine

168 cm
33
141
24 - 13 - 1

167 cm
31
140
26 - 17 - 0

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Cardio machine

BJJ Purple Belt
Excellent MT
Powerful

Shadow Realm Apparel
Ma Balls Is Hot Clothing

Brooklyn Threads
Brooklyn Apothecary

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the bantamweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 24 - 13 - 1, fighting out of Montreal, Joe Biden!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 26 - 17 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Giggle Valentine!
The judges for this bout are Daniel Blasius, Patrick Alders and Saam Ante.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Valentine avoids the body shot from Biden.
Valentine stumbles momentarily as he takes a strong leg kick from Biden.
Valentine throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Biden sees it coming and avoids it easily.
It looked like Biden was looking amped, ready to throw a big counter but didn't commit.
Biden ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Good leg kick by Biden.
Biden ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Valentine moves away.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Biden swings and misses with a hook to the body.
It seemed like Valentine was going to counter with the hook but didn't fully commit to it.
Valentine on the wrong end of a nice jab.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Valentine looks to throw the jab but Biden is out of range.
Valentine has his front leg slapped to the side - a nice low kick landing there from Biden.
Valentine misses the body punch
letting Biden counter with a right hand.

Oooooh!!! Biden has knocked Valentine down with a huge combo! Biden steps away and waves a wobbly Valentine back to his feet! This one might not go much longer!

Valentine is rocked!

It looks like Giggle Valentine has been cut.
Biden slips under a jab from Valentine.
Valentine is still on wobbly legs! Can Biden finish him?
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Valentine misses with a hook
and Biden counters with a straight punch to the midsection.
Valentine seems to have recovered his senses.

Biden lands a big uppercut and Valentine crumbles to the floor! The ref thinks about stopping the fight but Valentine looks OK. Biden waves Valentine back to his feet!
Valentine misses with a left hand
and Biden counters with a good low kick that Valentine was not able to check.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Valentine throws an off balance right hand
and Biden counters with a huge left! Valentine is in big trouble! He's backing up but Biden isn't giving him chance to recover. Under a barage of punches the ref has to step in to save Valentine from any more damage. A dominating finish by Biden!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 2:06 of round 1, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Joe Biden!
A relieved looking Joe Biden thanked the fans for their support and gave the usual line about them being amazing. They seemed to believe that he actually meant it.