PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a middleweight MMA rules bout between Emelia Kooldfish (ranked 2984 p4p, 24225 weight class) and Abdul Jcool (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Kooldfish kept the crowd waiting but all that was forgotten when his ring entrance music started. The incomparable musical genius that is Dirty Needle Project! by Tom MacDonald & Adam Calhoun. Jcool has chosen Eye of the tiger as his entrance music. Abdul Jcool is the more experienced fighter, so let's see if that makes a difference tonight.

Kooldfish
vs
Jcool

189 cm
21
190
2 - 0 - 0

195 cm
20
195
8 - 18 - 0

BJJ Purple Belt
Excellent boxer
Cardio machine

BJJ Blue Belt
Basic striking
Knockout power

The Dirty Needle Project
Primal

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the middleweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 2 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Emelia Kooldfish!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 8 - 18 - 0, fighting out of Tokyo, Abdul Jcool!
The judges for this bout are Stewart Dunkirk, George Francis and Daniel Franklin.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Kooldfish looks to land a combination. Jcool sees it coming but can only parry a couple of the shots.

It looks like Abdul Jcool has been cut.
Jcool gets caught by a brutal right hook which buckles his knees! Jcool tries to backpedal with his spaghettilegs but Kooldfish is headhunting and goes for the kill. A jab and a right hook connect and Jcool buckles badly as his eyes roll back. The referee steps in and saves Jcool!! Jcool is complaining but he was clearly out on his feet. Kooldfish throws his mouthpiece into the crowd. Mmmm spit-tastic.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 0:05 of round 1, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Emelia Kooldfish!
Post fight, Emelia Kooldfish took to the microphone: 'I'm so unselfish and so virtuous that I want to dedicate this fight to someone not white. Because I AM A GOOD PERSON DONT YOU GET IT?!!!! And yeah, like, Love will save us all, except certain pigments I guess. I think that's what CNN told me to think...'.
In defeat, Abdul Jcool stepped up to the mic, saying '"Everybody out there know I beat him, I controlled the fight, he was missing, I hit him plenty more times. I beat him.Let me talk something... I want to thank the whole hood who came out here. I love y'all. I did this for the hood, you know I beat that boy.'.