PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a super heavyweight MMA rules bout between Fat Bastard (ranked 4280 p4p, 4091 weight class) and Tage Timpson (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Bastard comes to the cage accompanied by You are perfect the way that you are.. We have two fighters making their debuts here, so let's see who comes out of this one with their first professional victory.

Bastard
vs
Timpson

204 cm
25
305
0 - 0 - 0

195 cm
25
290
0 - 0 - 0

BJJ White Belt
Excellent boxer
Big heart

BJJ White Belt
Decent boxing
Granite chin

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the super heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 0 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Montreal, Fat Bastard!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 0 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Montreal, Tage Timpson!
The judges for this bout are Elvis Blanc, Alec Ball and Gregory Folan.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Timpson throws an overhand right that lands on Bastard's shoulder, as Bastard tries to avoid the shot.
Bastard was looking to counter that last move with a shot to the body but he didn't commit.
Nice body punch from Bastard.
Timpson lands a jab to Bastard's midsection.
Timpson misses the jab.
Bastard uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Timpson.
Nice body punch from Timpson.
Timpson misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Bastard.
It looked like Bastard was trying to counter with a body shot coming off that last attack from Timpson.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Bastard digs a good hook to Timpson's body.
Timpson takes a body punch that cleary hurt but he's trying not to show any weakness.
Timpson misses with a hook to the body
and Bastard counters with a nice jab to the body that keeps Timpson thinking.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Timpson throws a poor cross that misses
and Bastard counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
Bastard misses with a body shot.
Bastard throws a body shot but no joy.
Timpson misses with a shot to the body
letting Bastard counter with a right hand.
Tage Timpson seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Timpson throws a poor cross that misses
and Bastard counters with a series of strikes. Timpson will be more careful next time no doubt.

Timpson has taken the fight to the clinch.
Timpson misses with a punch on the inside.

Timpson's corner calls for him to break the clinch, which he does.

Timpson moves into the clinch.

That's two minutes gone in the round.

Timpson pushes off and circles away, back to the middle of the mat.
Bastard ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Timpson throws a poor cross that misses
and Bastard counters with a straight punch to the midsection.
Timpson throws a shot from downtown. Bastard moves away and avoids it.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Timpson misses with a left hand
letting Bastard counter with a right hand.
Bastard throws out a loose jab but Timpson uses good head movement to avoid it.
Timpson throws out a loose jab but Bastard uses good head movement to avoid it.
Timpson with a hook.
A shot to the liver by Timpson. Beautiful body shot.
Timpson throws a looping overhand right but Bastard ducks down to avoid it.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Timpson misses with a body punch
and Bastard counters with a shot to the ribs. That looked like it hurt.
Timpson misses with a few strikes there.
Timpson throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
A quick step to the side and Bastard tries to counter with a shot to the body but it doesn't connect.
Timpson is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Bastard.
It looked like Bastard was trying to counter with a body shot coming off that last attack from Timpson.
Bastard throws a shot to the body.
Timpson throws an ugly left hook that misses
and Bastard makes him pay by landing a nice hook to the body before moving out of range.
Timpson rushes in with a sloppy looking punch
and Timpson takes a counter punch right on the button for his troubles.
Timpson throws a lazy uppercut
and Bastard counters with a straight punch to the midsection.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Timpson throws a poor cross that misses
enabling Bastard to counter with a crisp jab.
Timpson misses with an uppercut. Bastard saw that one coming.
Timpson ducks under a wild hook from Bastard.
Bastard lands a nice looking body shot.
Bastard uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Timpson.
Timpson rushes in with a sloppy looking punch
and Bastard makes him pay by landing a nice hook to the body before moving out of range.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Timpson misses with a hook. Bastard ducked under it nicely.
Timpson shakes his hands off, looking to compose himself, but takes a jab to the jaw whilst he does it.
Bastard misses with an uppercut.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.

Fat Bastard dominated that round.
The fighters' corners scream their final instructions, as the referee calls time. Here we go, back to the action!

Timpson throws a shot from downtown. Bastard moves away and avoids it.
Bastard lands a nice looking body shot.
Timpson misses with a left hand
and Bastard counters with a nice body shot.
Timpson fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Bastard manages to avoid it.
Nice straight punches there by Bastard. You know Roy Jones Jr respects the hands of Bastard.
A combination from Timpson does no damage.
Bastard was looking to counter that last move with a shot to the body but he didn't commit.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Timpson misses with a body punch
and Bastard counters with a stiff right hand.
Timpson throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
Bastard is looking to wear down Timpson with body shots, infact he's throwing more body shots than head shots at the moment.
Nice defenses there by Bastard.
Bastard was looking to counter that last move with a shot to the body but he didn't commit.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Bastard lands with a nice body punch.
Timpson cracks Bastard with a right hand to the side of the head.
Bastard is using his height advantage well here, landing a good percentage of his punches.
Bastard changes levels and scores with a jab to the body.
Timpson swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Timpson keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Timpson misses with a jab and misses with a cross straight after too.
Timpson throws a hook but Bastard blocks it.
Bastard throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
A countering left hand to the body from Timpson misses.
Timpson throws a lazy uppercut
enabling Bastard to counter with a crisp jab.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Bastard ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Timpson moves away.
Timpson looked like he wanted to counter with a punch but didn't throw it.
Timpson throws an ugly left hook that misses
and Bastard counters with a quick right hand to the jaw.
Bastard slips a jab from Timpson.
The fighters circle momentarily. Timpson darts into range and connects with a nice straight punch.
Timpson misses with a lunging right hand
and Bastard counters with a crisp hook to the side of the head.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Bastard ducks under a wild hook from Timpson.
Bastard circles away from the clinch attempt.
Bastard is looking to counter punch.
Timpson throws a hook to the side of Bastard's head but Bastard sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
Bastard is really dominating this fight. Is there anything that Timpson can do to turn this around?
Timpson throws an ugly left hook that misses
and Bastard counters with a lovely shot to the body.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Bastard bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Timpson looks to land a left hand but Bastard moved out of range nicely.
Bastard throws a body punch but Timpson moves out of range.
Bastard fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Timpson manages to avoid it.
Timpson is really struggling to land any decent head shots against his taller opponent.
Bastard scores with a sloppy punch to the body. Not much technique there but it did the business.
We are yet to see a takedown attempt from Timpson in the fight. On paper you would think he is the more dominant ground fighter so let's see if these unusual tactics pay off.
Bastard takes a swing at Timpson's ribcage but misses.
Timpson connects with a body shot that sends Bastard's belly button to the back.
Timpson fails to land with a series of punches.
Bastard is looking to counter with a shot to the body.
Timpson throws a lazy uppercut
and Bastard counters with a quick right hand to the jaw.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Bastard throws a looping overhand right but Timpson ducks down to avoid it.
Bastard throws out a powerful jab.
Timpson throws an overhand right that lands on Bastard's shoulder, as Bastard tries to avoid the shot.
Bastard was looking to counter that last move with a shot to the body but he didn't commit.
Timpson throws a poor cross that misses
and Bastard makes him pay by landing a nice hook to the body before moving out of range.
Bastard throws a predictable looking body shot
and Timpson counters with a lovely straight right hand!
Timpson throws a right and a left that Bastard avoids nicely.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Bastard takes a jab right on the nose. That must have hurt but he shrugs his shoulders and looks to return the favor.
A slow jab from Timpson misses its intended target.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close second round but I would say that Fat Bastard will probably get the nod.
The corners get their ten second warning. Both fighters stand from their stools and stare each other down, ready to get back to the action. This is the final round!

Timpson throws a predictable looking body shot
and Bastard makes him pay by landing a nice hook to the body before moving out of range.
Fat Bastard is fighting for a decision here - he's started to take the cautious approach.
Bastard steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Timpson.
Timpson fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Bastard manages to avoid it.
Fat Bastard is winning the standup battle so far.
Bastard tests Timpson's chin there with a solid looking shot.
Bastard moves away from the strike by Timpson.
Bastard slips under a jab.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Timpson misses with a two punch combination.
A slow jab from Timpson misses its intended target.
Bastard looks to score with a jab to the body but Timpson is just out of range.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Timpson misses with a looping right.
Bastard is looking to counter punch.
Timpson doesn't manage to clinch there - Bastard circles away.
Timpson ducks low and lands a nice hook to the body of his opponent.
Timpson misses with a combination
and Bastard counters with a nice uppercut.
Bastard ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
A counter left hand to the body from Bastard misses its target.
Timpson throws a lazy uppercut
and Bastard cracks him with a counter punch right on the button.
Timpson swings for the body but Bastard moves out of range.
Bastard swung with a counter right hand that didn't connect.
Timpson throws an ugly left hook that misses
and Bastard counters with a left to the body.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
A swing and a miss from Bastard.
Timpson throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Timpson swings wildly with a couple of big hooks
and Bastard counters nicely by changing levels and landing a hook to the body.
Timpson takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.
Bastard digs a good hook to Timpson's body.
Timpson throws a poor cross that misses
and Bastard connects with a straight left hand counter down the middle.
Bastard fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Timpson manages to avoid it.
Timpson looks to score with a jab to the body but Bastard is just out of range.
Timpson throws an ugly left hook that misses
and Bastard counters with a quick right hand to the jaw.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Timpson misses the jab.
A cross from Bastard lands.
Bastard digs a good body shot into Timpson's ribs.
Timpson uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Bastard.

Timpson darts in and clinches Bastard up against the cage.
Timpson tries to work over Bastard's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Bastard blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Bastard blocking some punches.
Timpson lands with a good tight uppercut to the head.
Timpson tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Bastard's elbow.
Bastard lands with a left to the head.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Timpson working aggressively here.
Timpson struggles to land a body shot inside as Bastard controls his hands.
Timpson misses with a punch on the inside.
Timpson working aggressively here.
Timpson misses with some punches.
Bastard lands a body shot.
Tage Timpson has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
Bastard fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Bastard blocks an uppercut.
Bastard working hard to break the clinch.
Timpson misses with a short punch on the inside.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
Timpson misses with a hook to the ribs.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Bastard blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Bastard tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.

And that's the end of the fight!
That was a close round. You could make an argument for either fighter but I would give it to Fat Bastard.
Well I reckon that's a shut out for Bastard, winning every round. Will the judges agree? They are the ones who matter, even if they are often depressingly incompetent. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Elvis Blanc scores the fight for Fat Bastard!
Judge Alec Ball scores the fight for Fat Bastard!
Judge Gregory Folan scores the fight for Fat Bastard!

Fat Bastard wins by unanimous decision!
As Fat Bastard got his breath back, he grabbed the microphone and managed to blurt out the following: Free speech is more important than a jury of your 12 peers realizes. Good luck sheep.'.