PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Darth Beerdrinkus (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Seppo Cock Reach (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Well, the cameraman is lingering on a pretty young lady for a bit too long there. Keep your eyes on the fighters buddy or you'll miss the fighter intros!

Beerdrinkus
vs
Cock Reach

197 cm
18
265 lbs
2 - 4 - 0

220 cm
20
220 lbs
0 - 0 - 0

BJJ Blue Belt
Brawler
Intelligent

BJJ Blue Belt
Brawler
Likes ground

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 2 - 4 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Darth Beerdrinkus!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 0 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Seppo Cock Reach!
The judges for this bout are Alan Glass, Robert Twigg and Gwen Towbar.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Beerdrinkus fails with an attempt to clinch.

Beerdrinkus closes the distance and presses his opponent up against the cage.
Beerdrinkus tries to pull guard but Cock Reach holds him up against the cage and eventually Beerdrinkus drops back down to his feet.
Cock Reach jumps guard but his hands slip and he falls flat on his back. Well, he's made himself look a right mug there, as Beerdrinkus walks away with a smile on his face. Cock Reach gets slowly back to his feet and shakes his head.
Cock Reach is a painfully thin specimen of a man. You do wonder whether a good body kick would snap him clean in two.

Cock Reach closes the distance and clinches.
Beerdrinkus has a body lock and is looking for a takedown. Cock Reach is bouncing around trying to prevent the takedown and somehow he has indeed managed to stay on his feet.
Beerdrinkus wants to strike at distance but he can't break free of the clinch.
Beerdrinkus can't break the clinch.
Cock Reach wants a takedown.
Beerdrinkus jumps guard but his hands slip and he falls flat on his back. Well, he's made himself look a right mug there, as Cock Reach walks away with a smile on his face. Beerdrinkus gets slowly back to his feet and shakes his head.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Darth Beerdrinkus. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Cock Reach avoids a punch combination nicely.
Beerdrinkus misses with a takedown attempt - Cock Reach sprawls well and throws a nice strike on the way out which just misses.
A really sloppy takedown attempt there from Beerdrinkus.
Cock Reach defends well against a solid takedown attempt from Beerdrinkus.

Cock Reach closes the distance and clinches.
Cock Reach is trying to maintain a safe position but Beerdrinkus gets an underhook and turns Cock Reach into the cage.

Beerdrinkus escapes the clinch and we're back to striking.

That's one minute gone in the round.

The fight moves into the clinch position.
Beerdrinkus wants to break free but Cock Reach has control.
Beerdrinkus is working for a takedown up against the cage. He can't get it on this occasion though.

Cock Reach gets control of Beerdrinkus's arms and successfully pulls guard. Cock Reach will no doubt be looking for submissions off his back.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Beerdrinkus tries to free his leg and advance position but Cock Reach is retaining full guard.
Beerdrinkus won't allow Cock Reach to sweep him here.

Cock Reach working for a triangle but Beerdrinkus defends it easily.
Beerdrinkus tries to free his leg and advance position but Cock Reach is retaining full guard.
Beerdrinkus is breathing heavily.
There's a bit of a scramble here and now Cock Reach is on top in guard.
There's a bit of a scramble here and now Beerdrinkus is on top in guard.
Cock Reach wants to get back to his feet but Beerdrinkus is in a dominant position and won't allow it.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Cock Reach looking to sweep here. No luck so far.

Beerdrinkus decides he's had enough of playing guard and decides to stand. Come on Cock Reach, up you get!
Cock Reach looks for a takedown but Beerdrinkus sprawls well.

Beerdrinkus closes the distance and looks for a trip takedown... aaaand he's got it - Beerdrinkus lands in his opponent's guard.
Cock Reach is working from a closed guard but he's struggling to control his opponent.
Beerdrinkus pressing down on his opponent's thigh, looking to pass guard. Cock Reach is keeping the position for now.
Beerdrinkus trying to pass the guard. He's being very persistent here but Cock Reach manages to land a sweep and now he's on top!

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Cock Reach lands a couple of elbows.
Cock Reach passes Beerdrinkus's left leg - he's now in half guard.

Cock Reach looking for a kimura but he'll have to free his other leg if he wants to finish that. Perhaps he's just using it as a distraction technique.
Beerdrinkus is looking to escape.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are hurling abuse towards the fighters... You can hardly blame them though because there isn't a lot going on in the fight.

Cock Reach decides he's had enough of the ground and stands up.

Beerdrinkus closes the distance, clinches up and gets a nice trip takedown into side control. Very smooth.
Beerdrinkus cracks Cock Reach with a big elbow.
Cock Reach dodges the ground and pound from Beerdrinkus.
Beerdrinkus in side control lands a nice looking series of punches and elbows.
Cock Reach is looking for a sweep.

Beerdrinkus wants to work for a kimura but he's foiled early by Cock Reach, who protects the arm well.
Beerdrinkus working the body and head with strikes.
Beerdrinkus in side control lands a nice looking series of punches and elbows.
Beerdrinkus tries to get to his feet but he's trapped momentarily.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close round but I would say that Darth Beerdrinkus will probably get the nod.
The fighters get back to their feet, the hooter sounds and we're back to the action!

Beerdrinkus closes the distance and clinches up with Cock Reach, looking for a takedown. Beerdrinkus pushes Cock Reach against the cage but Cock Reach circles to the side and manages to break the clinch.

Cock Reach has managed to clinch.
Beerdrinkus scores with a shot to the side of Cock Reach's head.
Cock Reach lands a left hand that snaps the head of Beerdrinkus backwards.
Cock Reach gets an overhook and lands an elbow to the side of the head.
Beerdrinkus drops to a knee looking for a takedown but Cock Reach gets the underhooks and prevents it.
Beerdrinkus is working for a takedown up against the cage. He can't get it on this occasion though.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Darth Beerdrinkus. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Cock Reach is working for a takedown up against the cage. He can't get it on this occasion though.
Beerdrinkus doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
Beerdrinkus being controlled against the cage.
Beerdrinkus tries for a takedown. No joy.

Cock Reach pulls guard effortlessly.
Both fighters are absolutely exhausted here.
Beerdrinkus throwing shots from guard but he's hitting more mat than opponent.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Beerdrinkus trying to land body shots but he keeps hitting the mat.
Beerdrinkus has to be careful here, sitting in the guard of a superior BJJ player.
Beerdrinkus wants to get up but he can't break Cock Reach's closed guard. He needs to be careful trying to break the legs open, as he's open to submissions here.
Cock Reach is pulling down on Beerdrinkus's head. It's preventing any offense from Beerdrinkus, at least for the moment.

Cock Reach had isolated an arm as going for an omaplata. Beerdrinkus is defending the submission well but is in a very vulnerable position. Cock Reach Is leaning forward trying to finish the omaplata but decides to abandon it, and take Beerdrinkus's back instead.
Cock Reach is trying to stick to Beerdrinkus's back but Beerdrinkus is turning into Cock Reach. He's managed to reverse the position - now he's in Cock Reach's guard. Polite applause from the crowd in appreciation of some nice Jiu Jitsu by Beerdrinkus.
Beerdrinkus loading up with the ground and pound but he's missing more than he's landing in this flurry.
Beerdrinkus throws and elbow that misses. Cock Reach uses the momentum to reverse the position. He's now in Beerdrinkus's guard. Nice move by Cock Reach!
Cock Reach scoring with punches to the head and body.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are hurling abuse towards the fighters... You can hardly blame them though because there isn't a lot going on in the fight.
Beerdrinkus looking to sweep using the butterfly guard but Cock Reach puts pay to that idea as he passes nicely into half guard.
Cock Reach wants to control but Beerdrinkus is keeping him busy.
Beerdrinkus tries to get to full guard but Cock Reach has control of the leg.
Beerdrinkus gets back to full guard.

Beerdrinkus looking for submissions off his back, moving his hips, looking for an opening.
There's a bit of a scramble here and now Beerdrinkus is on top in guard.

Beerdrinkus stands up from Cock Reach's guard - Beerdrinkus perhaps looking for a knockout.

Cock Reach looking for a takedown here - he's got it.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Beerdrinkus wants to sweep but no luck.
Beerdrinkus throwing some rather feeble looking strikes off his back.
Beerdrinkus wants to get back to his feet but Cock Reach is in a dominant position and won't allow it.

Beerdrinkus is working an open guard so Cock Reach takes the opportunity to get back to his feet.
Beerdrinkus misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Cock Reach.
Darth Beerdrinkus seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Cock Reach throws a quick head kick that skims the top of Beerdrinkus's head.
Cock Reach fails with a takedown attempt.
Beerdrinkus does a little shimmy and throws a leg kick. The leg kick missed by a considerable margin though, making him look a little bit silly for doing the shimmy.
Beerdrinkus takes a head kick and keeps coming.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are showing their displeasure at the lack of action as loud boos ring out around the arena.
Cock Reach changes levels and looks for a double leg takedown. Beerdrinkus tries to avoid it but Cock Reach manages to keep hold of a leg and drag Beerdrinkus to the ground. Beerdrinkus escapes though and pops straight back up to his feet.
Cock Reach fails to land the takedown.

Beerdrinkus decides to change it up a bit and drives through with a nice takedown into half guard.
Beerdrinkus trying to mount his opponent but Cock Reach defends it.
Cock Reach is controlling Beerdrinkus's position as best he can from this difficult position.

Cock Reach has one foot on Beerdrinkus's thigh - he pushes off and manages to get back to his feet.
Cock Reach has his takedown stuffed

and Beerdrinkus counters with a takedown into side control.
The crowd applaud the fighters efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Beerdrinkus working away.
Beerdrinkus tries to advance to mount but can't.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close second round but I would say that Darth Beerdrinkus will probably get the nod.
The fighters' corners scream their final instructions, as the referee calls time. Here we go, back to the action! Let's hear some noise people - this is the final round!

Beerdrinkus shoots in looking for a single leg takedown. Cock Reach is trying to defend but Beerdrinkus finishes it well and ends up in half guard. Let's see if he can advance position further.
Cock Reach is looking for a sweep. Beerdrinkus is wise to his cunning plan and keeps the top position.
Beerdrinkus landing with strikes to the body and head, softening up his opponent.
Beerdrinkus working Cock Reach over with strikes.
Beerdrinkus moves nicely into side control.
Beerdrinkus working away diligently from side control. Landing strikes effectively there - that will score him some points on the judges scorecards.
Cock Reach is working to avoid the ground and pound but Beerdrinkus connects with a decent elbow.
Both fighters are breathing heavily.
Cock Reach parries the strikes from Beerdrinkus easily there. Beerdrinkus is wary of posturing up too much because it might enable Cock Reach to escape.
You can see the frustration on Cock Reach's face, being in this tough position on the bottom.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Beerdrinkus throws a strike aimed at the side of Cock Reach's head but Cock Reach avoids it well.
Cock Reach takes a nasty elbow to the side of the head.
Beerdrinkus throws a knee to the body but it doesn't do much damage.

Beerdrinkus goes for an armbar! This could be all over! Wait, no, Cock Reach rolls with the submission and now he's on top in Beerdrinkus's guard! Nice work there by Cock Reach!
Beerdrinkus wants to sweep but no luck.
Beerdrinkus has a butterfly guard looking to sweep but Cock Reach has passed into side control.
Cock Reach blocks the strikes from Beerdrinkus.
Beerdrinkus is positioning himself to get back to half guard.
Beerdrinkus wants to get back to his feet but Cock Reach drags him back down.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
A lull in the action here being met with boos from the crowd.

Cock Reach stands up and we're back to a striking position.
Beerdrinkus wants to clinch but Cock Reach slips to the side

and Cock Reach counters by moving into the clinch.
Cock Reach is trying to drag Beerdrinkus to the mat but Beerdrinkus just about manages to keep his footing. He used the cage to his advantage there.
Beerdrinkus gets through Cock Reach's defenses to land a nice punch to the side of the head.
Beerdrinkus lands with a short shot to the head.
Beerdrinkus's corner are urging him to control the action in the clinch for a moment, rather than mount any serious offense. I'm sure the crowd appreciate those instructions... not.

Cock Reach pushes off and circles away, back to the middle of the mat.
Cock Reach closes this distance looking for a takedown but Beerdrinkus circles away.
Beerdrinkus shoots in looking for a takedown. Cock Reach tries to sprawl out of it but Beerdrinkus keeps driving through. The fighters are pinned against the cage. Cock Reach manages to get underhooks and after a bit of a struggle, circles away and we're back to standing.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Cock Reach tries to grapple but his opponent circles

and Beerdrinkus decides to take the opportunity to score a takedown. He's landed in Cock Reach's guard.
Beerdrinkus stops Cock Reach from standing up.
Beerdrinkus works over Cock Reach with some ground and pound from guard.
Beerdrinkus is working Cock Reach over from the guard. He should look to pass the guard and do a little more damage with these strikes.
Beerdrinkus loading up with the ground and pound but he's missing more than he's landing in this flurry.
Cock Reach wants to sweep here but Beerdrinkus controlling him for the moment.
Darth Beerdrinkus overall seems to be getting the better of the ground position in the fight so far.

Beerdrinkus stands up and waves to Cock Reach to follow him.
Cock Reach with a lazy takedown attempt

and Beerdrinkus counters with a single leg into guard. Cock Reach didn't expect that.
Darth Beerdrinkus has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Seppo Cock Reach.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Beerdrinkus working some strikes from top position.
Beerdrinkus tries to free his leg and advance position but Cock Reach is retaining full guard.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Beerdrinkus throws and elbow that misses. Cock Reach uses the momentum to reverse the position. He's now in Beerdrinkus's guard. Nice move by Cock Reach!
Beerdrinkus working the defensive guard well to avoid strikes from Cock Reach.
Beerdrinkus keeping moving, preventing Cock Reach from controlling successfully.
Beerdrinkus is working an open guard here, looking to improve his position. No doubt that will leave him open to counters but at least he's being more offensive.
The crowd applaud the fighters efforts here as the round comes to an end.

Well, the referee has seen enough. Neither fighter is active enough on the ground so he's stood them back up.
Cock Reach with a poor takedown

and Beerdrinkus counters with a shoot takedown into half guard.
Beerdrinkus missing with some ground and pound from the half guard.
Beerdrinkus lands a big shot. The thud that echoes around the arena is like music to the fans' ears.
Seppo Cock Reach has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
Darth Beerdrinkus is fighting for a decision here - he's started to take the cautious approach.
Cock Reach lands a couple of sideways elbows.

And that's the end of the fight!
Darth Beerdrinkus showed his dominance in that final round.
Well I reckon that's a shut out for Beerdrinkus, winning every round. Will the judges agree? They are the ones who matter, even if they are often depressingly incompetent. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Alan Glass scores the fight 30:27
Judge Robert Twigg scores the fight 30:27
Judge Gwen Towbar scores the fight 30:27

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Darth Beerdrinkus!