PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a lightweight MMA rules bout between Paco Taco (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Bimbo Slice (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). I'm sure you'll be fascinated to know that I was talking to some pointless Z list celebrity before the fight and he thought that Bimbo Slice was going to win. Let's see if he was right.

Taco
vs
Slice

178 cm
19
165 lbs
4 - 1 - 0

165 cm
20
155 lbs
3 - 4 - 0

BJJ Blue Belt
Dangerous knees
Very strong

BJJ Blue Belt
Counter striker
Solid chin

Das Labor
Das Labor

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the lightweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 4 - 1 - 0, fighting out of Rio de Janeiro, Paco Taco!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 3 - 4 - 0, fighting out of Rio de Janeiro, Bimbo Slice !
The judges for this bout are Emerson Jorge, Paulo Santos and Thiago Cunha.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Taco is looking to score with low kicks.
Slice steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Taco.
Slice jabs away that one connects to the head of his opponent.
Slice has a takedown stuffed.
Slice keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Taco.
Slice thows a left - swing and a miss!
Taco bobs and weaves and unloads with a good uppercut.
Taco tries to clinch but is not successful on this occasion.
Slice thows a left - swing and a miss!
Taco throws a nice looking combination but Slice bobs and weaves to avoid any damage.
The fight stays on the outside here - Taco looks like he's thinking about clinching though.
Taco throws a half hearted mid kick.
Taco misses with an uppercut.
Taco explodes with a nice body kick and back out of range. Nice work.
Slice bobs and weaves and throws out a fast jab that snaps Taco's head backwards.
Slice 's corner calls for a 1-2. Slice obliges with the 1 part as he scores the single shot and moves back out of range.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Slice avoids the clinch attempt nicely.
Slice with a nice cross.
Slice lands with an uppercut that bounces Taco off the cage and back into rage.
Taco tries to clinch but Slice moves out of range.
Slice moves out of range of the body kick from Taco.
Taco tries to clinch up.
Taco gets his head snapped back by a nice shot there.
Taco is looking to clinch but Slice is avoiding it.
Taco misses with a head kick.
Taco misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Taco throws a front kick aimed at Slice 's knee but Slice avoids it well.
Horrible takedown by Slice or perhaps it was just good defense by Taco which made him look bad.
Slice 's corner calls for a 1,2 combination and Slice duly obliges.
Taco swats away the attempt to clinch by Slice .
Paco Taco is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Well. There's a bit of a lull in the action here and the crowd are starting to get restless.
Taco throws a body kick but he wasn't in range.
Taco is looking to clinch but Slice is avoiding it.
Taco tries to close the distance and clinch but Slice swats him to one side with an open hand palm strike and circles away.
Slice swats away the attempt to clinch by Taco.
Taco tries to clinch but fails miserably
and Slice counters with a shot to the ribs. That looked like it hurt.
Taco doesn't manage to clinch there - Slice circles away.
Slice cracks Taco with a hook to the jaw. Both fighters smile at eachother and high-five before getting back down to business.
A swing and a miss from Taco.
Taco tries to clinch but Slice is having none of it.
Taco tries to clinch but Slice is having none of it.
Taco takes one to the chin there.
Taco walks into a straight right hand from Slice .
Taco throws a jab but it's blocked by Slice .
Slice is landing a lot of head punches in this opening round!Taco had better start moving his head a bit unless he wants his face to turn into pâté.
Taco wants to clinch but Slice slips to the side

and Slice counters with a nice double leg into guard.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Slice wants to stand but Taco has a closed guard, so he can't escape.
Slice trying to pass the guard but can't manage it just yet.
Slice wants to get up but he can't break Taco's closed guard. He needs to be careful trying to break the legs open, as he's open to submissions here.
Taco trying to control the position here.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are getting on the fighters' backs, as the pace has dropped off in the last minute or so.
Slice tries to stand but Taco is controlling from the bottom.

The referee has ruled that neither fighter is active enough on the ground and has stood them back up.
Taco jabs Slice right on the nose. Slice blinks but takes it well.
Taco tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

A close round but Bimbo Slice will probably get the nod.
The referee calls time. The cornermen exit stage left and we're back to business.

A chopping leg kick lands by Taco.
Taco tries to clinch but is not successful on this occasion.
Taco is looking to clinch.
Paco Taco seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Taco tries to clinch but Slice is having none of it.
Taco feints and then cracks Slice 's leading leg with a nice low kick. He's obviously looking to slow Slice down.
Taco fakes with the hands and throws a leg kick but Slice is out of range.
Taco lands a leg kick. The shin dug right into the meat of the thigh.
Taco misses with an uppercut.
Slice blocks a head kick by Taco.
Taco slips under a jab.
Taco darts in trying to clinch
and Slice counters with a crisp hook to the side of the head.
Slice avoids the head kick by Taco.
Slice on the wrong end of a decent looking cross there.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Taco throws a head kick that misses.
Taco misses with a hook. Slice ducked under it nicely.
Slice has his head slapped from side to side by a 3 punch combination. That must have hurt him.
Slice lands a straight punch to the body, keeping Taco at a distance.
Taco closes the distance but Slice moves to the side
and Slice counters with a stiff right hand.
Taco tries to grapple but his opponent circles
letting Slice counter with a right hand.
Taco closes the distance but Slice moves to the side
and Slice counters with a stiff right hand.
Taco misses with a head kick.
Slice moves out of range of the body kick from Taco.
Slice keeps the fight on the outside.
Taco doesn't manage to clinch there - Slice circles away.
Paco Taco is winning the standup battle so far.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Taco is looking to clinch but Slice is avoiding it.
Taco wants to clinch
and Slice counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
Taco looks to clinch
and Slice counters with a crisp hook to the side of the head.
Slice swats away the attempt to clinch by Taco.
Slice slips in close and lands a nice hook before moving back out of range.
Slice cracks Taco with a right hand to the side of the head.
Taco will need to close the distance a bit before he attacks - that leg kick was thrown from too far away.
Slice might want to mix his strikes up a bit more. He's just going for head shots at the moment and that can become a bit predictable.
Slice lands with a cross to side of his opponent's head.
Taco misses with a head kick.
Taco throws a head kick but Slice moves out of range.
Taco on the wrong end of a vicious looking body shot.
Taco tries to clinch up.
Taco tries a low kick but Slice avoids it.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Slice throws a one two combo.
Taco tries to clinch up.
Slice keeping at a good range here, avoiding a leg kick.
Slice slips under a jab from Taco.
Slice uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Taco.
A head kick by Taco misses
and Slice counters with a straight right hand.
Both fighters are absolutely exhausted here.
Nice uppercut there from Slice .

Slice closes the distance and scores a nice trip takedown into half guard. Taco did well to prevent Slice getting side control.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Slice tries to stand but his hand is stuck under Taco.
Taco on his back here. We all know that wrestlers don't like being on their back so let's see if Taco tries to get out of the position.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Paco Taco dominated that second round.
The corners get their ten second warning. Both fighters stand from their stools and stare eachother down, ready to get back to the action. This is the final round!

Taco misses with a straight left.
Taco looks to land a right hand but Slice moved out of range.

Slice darts in and clinches Taco up against the cage.
Slice wants to break the clinch but can't.
Taco prevents Slice from breaking the clinch.
Slice tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
Taco keeps the fight in the clinch, despite Slice 's efforts to push away.
Taco scores with a knee to the head.
Taco dodges an elbow strike from Slice .
Slice is trying to stall.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Slice wants to break free. God knows he wants to breaaaak freeee.
Slice is trying to work out of this bad position, with his back against the cage.
Slice wants to break free. God knows he wants to breaaaak freeee.
Slice is trying to force a seperation but Taco has the dominant position.
Taco prevents Slice from breaking the clinch.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Slice has had enough of the clinch and is looking to separate.
Slice is trying to break free.
Slice goes for a takedown in the clinch but Taco prevents it.
Slice wants to strike at distance but he can't break free of the clinch.
Slice takes a knee right on the jaw!
A looping hook to the body misses from Slice . Taco does a little dance to reset his feet.
Slice fails with a takedown attempt.
Taco looks to throw a body kick
and Slice cracks him with a counter punch right on the button.
Taco throws a head kick that misses
and Slice connects with a straight left hand counter down the middle.
Taco throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Taco misses with a looping right.
Taco throws a head kick but Slice moves out of range.
Taco lets loose with a powerful body kick. Slice will feel that in the morning.
Slice takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.
Taco tries to clinch there but Slice circles away.
Taco throws a leg kick but he was too far away and it doesn't land.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The fighters circling - Taco throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Taco throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Slice swats away the attempt to clinch by Taco.
The fighters circle momentarily. Slice darts into range and connects with a nice straight punch.
A low kick from Taco is predictable there
and Slice counters with a crisp hook to the side of the head.
Taco throws a lazy body kick
and Slice counters with a lovely straight right hand!
Taco tries to clinch but Slice moves away

and Slice counters with a nice double leg into guard.
Slice trying to stand up but can't free himself from Taco's guard.

Taco is working an open guard so Slice takes the opportunity to get back to his feet.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Taco misses with a jab to the body
letting Slice counter with a right hand.
Taco moves into range and lands a nice leg kick.
Taco throws a decent looking leg kick but it doesn't land clean.
Slice on the receiving end of a decent leg kick there by Taco. Taco obviously looking to wear him down.
Taco is looking to land body kicks.
A leg kick checked by Slice .
Slice keeps the fight on the outside.
Taco throws a front kick aimed at Slice 's knee but Slice avoids it well.
Slice scores with a reasonable looking shot to the body. Taco doesn't seem bothered though.
Slice avoids the clinch attempt nicely.
Taco throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.

Slice drops down and drives through with a powerful takedown into guard.
Slice trying to control the position from guard on top but Taco is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Slice wants to stand but Taco has a closed guard, so he can't escape.
Slice throwing shots from guard but he's hitting more mat than opponent.
Slice has decided he wants to stand but the closed guard of Taco is proving hard to escape from.

And that's the end of the fight!
Bimbo Slice comfortably won the final round on my scorecard.
I think Slice has won this one but let's see whether the judges agree with me. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Emerson Jorge scores the fight for Paco Taco!
Judge Paulo Santos scores the fight for Bimbo Slice !
Judge Thiago Cunha scores the fight for Paco Taco!

Paco Taco wins by split decision!