PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a super heavyweight MMA rules bout between Eric Cartman (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Mikael Samoth (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Cartman comes to the cage accompanied by Kyle's Mom a B!^(H. Samoth is bobbing his head along to his entrance song: Judas Priest - Painkiller. Over to our ring announcer for the fighter introductions!

Cartman
vs
Samoth

200 cm
20
300 lbs
5 - 0 - 0

192 cm
23
295 lbs
3 - 0 - 0

BJJ Blue Belt
Great elbows
Very strong

BJJ Purple Belt
Counter striker
Powerful

Demonic Drugs

Bushido Clothing
Hell's Balls Fightwear

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the super heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 5 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Tokyo, Eric Cartman!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 3 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Tokyo, Mikael Samoth!
The judges for this bout are Taro Takaoka, Ren Mimura and Tatsuya Matsuyama.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Samoth avoids the clinch attempt nicely.
Samoth cracks the inside of Cartman's front leg.
Cartman looks to score with a combo but nothing lands.
Cartman swinging wilding here.
Cartman swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Samoth bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Samoth digs a good body shot into Cartman's ribs.
Cartman throws an overhand right that lands on Samoth's shoulder, as Samoth tries to avoid the shot.
Eric Cartman seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Samoth walks straight into a jab right on the nose. That one stung - he's blinking and trying to clear his head.
Cartman lands a slapping body shot.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Samoth works his jab well there, keeping his opponent at a distance.
Samoth throws a leg kick but Cartman moved away.
Samoth scores with a jab. Cartman acknowledges it with a nod of the head.
Cartman misses with a hook. Samoth ducked under it nicely.

Samoth moves into range and clinches up with Cartman.
Cartman tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
Samoth wants to push off and get back to the center of the mat but Cartman has him pressed against the cage.
Cartman lands a nice uppercut.
Cartman misses with a short punch on the inside.
A quick uppercut on the inside from Samoth.

Cartman escapes the clinch and we're back to striking.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Cartman swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Cartman lands a nice shot to the body.
Cartman throws a series of punches but Samoth avoids them all with ease.
A right-left combo lands from Cartman.
Like a baseball bat into the meat of his leg there - nice leg kick by Samoth.
Cartman is breathing heavily.
A swing and a miss from Cartman.
Cartman connects with a lovely right hand, straight down the pipe.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Cartman with a hook.
Samoth looks to land a combination but Cartman avoids it well.
Samoth staying out of range there.
A jab from Cartman misses.
Samoth has his head snapped back a nice jab. A little nod from Samoth there as he acknowledges the shot.
Nice defenses there by Samoth.
Cartman throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Samoth darts in and out, connecting with a jab.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Cartman misses the jab.
Samoth throws a combination but it was largely blocked by Cartman.
Cartman tries to bum rush Samoth with a series of wild strikes but Samoth uses good footwork to avoid the assault.
Cartman tries to grapple but his opponent circles
and Samoth counters with an inside leg kick.
Cartman misses with a body punch

and Samoth counters by moving into the clinch. Good anticipation by Samoth.
Cartman working hard to break the clinch.
Cartman lands with a good tight uppercut to the head.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Samoth.
Cartman misses with a short punch on the inside.

Samoth breaks the clinch.
Cartman misses with a series of wild punches.
Cartman throws a hook to the side of Samoth's head but Samoth sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
A telegraphed right hand from Cartman misses the target.

Samoth has closed the distance and engaged Cartman in a clinch.
Still in the clinch, Cartman scores with a nice short uppercut.
Samoth lands a nice elbow from the clinch.
Samoth blocking some punches.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Cartman tries to circle away but Samoth has him pinned against the cage.
Samoth lands a nice elbow from the clinch.
Cartman lands an elbow inside.
Cartman working aggressively here.
Samoth looking to throw knees to the head but Cartman is blocking nicely.
Cartman misses with a punch on the inside.

Cartman breaks the clinch and we return to the middle of the mat.
Cartman throws a looping overhand right but Samoth ducks down to avoid it.
Cartman with a nice cross.
Cartman loads up on a big right hand but Samoth slips the punch.
Samoth moves his head to the side to avoid a jab but walks straight into a cross.
Cartman throws a shot from downtown. Samoth moves away and avoids it.
Cartman scores with a nice one two combo and darts back out of range to avoid anything coming in the opposite direction.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Cartman looks to land a right hand but Samoth moved out of range.
Cartman with a hook.
Samoth throws a combination but comes up with nothing but fresh air.
Cartman throws a combination that misses

and Samoth counters with a nice double leg into side control. Cartman won't be happy with that.
Samoth throwing strikes but missing, from side control.

That's four minutes gone in the round.

Samoth is looking for a kimura. He might have it! No, Cartman has escaped the position, nice work there.

Samoth wants to work for a kimura but he's foiled early by Cartman, who protects the arm well.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.

Samoth wants to work for a kimura but he's foiled early by Cartman, who protects the arm well.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Samoth lands a nice forearm strike.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Eric Cartman dominated that round.
Well, the break between rounds is over. Let's get back to the scrappin!

The fighters are starting to get sweaty, which will make takedowns a bit more tricky.
Samoth throws a nice inside leg kick.
A cross from Cartman lands.
Cartman is really head hunting here, hardly looking to strike to the body at all.
Cartman scores with a reasonable looking shot to the body. Samoth doesn't seem bothered though.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Cartman tries to close the distance and clinch but Samoth swats him to one side with an open hand palm strike and circles away.

Samoth moves into the clinch successfully.

Cartman escapes the clinch and we're back to striking.
Cartman throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Samoth sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Cartman keeps the fight on the outside.
Eric Cartman is looking to throw some combinations by the looks of things.
Samoth ducks right into an uppercut from Cartman.
Cartman swings away but doesn't land with a series of punches.
Cartman throws a series of punches but Samoth avoids them all with ease.

Samoth shoots in and scores a nice double leg takedown into half guard.
Cartman wants to get back to his feet.
Samoth is breathing heavily.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Samoth is trying to control the action in half guard but Cartman is working away on the bottom, looking perhaps to get back to full guard.

Samoth is trying for a guillotine from the top but the pressure isn't in the right place so Cartman is just riding it out for now. Samoth eventually gives up the hold.
Samoth is trying to control the action in half guard but Cartman is working away on the bottom, looking perhaps to get back to full guard.
Samoth trying to control from Cartman's half guard. Cartman has other ideas though and has regained full guard.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
My god... these two guys really need to pick up the pace or everyone will leave to go get a beer.
Samoth trying to land body shots but he keeps hitting the mat.

Samoth postures up as if he's going to throw some strikes but drops back for an ankle! Cartman is in big trouble! He looks ready to tap! But no, he's escaped and dives on top of Samoth, into his guard.
Cartman tries to stand but Samoth is controlling from the bottom.

Samoth is looking for a triangle but Cartman pushes his legs off easily.

That's three minutes gone in the round.

Samoth escapes his hips to the side and looks to be working for an armbar. Cartman gives him a little smile and shakes his head. No chance.
Cartman wants to get up but he can't break Samoth's closed guard. He needs to be careful trying to break the legs open, as he's open to submissions here.
Cartman stopping the sweep attempt from Samoth.

Samoth has an active guard here but Cartman has managed to pass into half guard.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are starting to boo a lack of action.
Samoth tries to roll over but Cartman keeps him under control.
The fighters are battling for position here. Samoth manages to regain full guard. Nice work.

Samoth is looking for a triangle but Cartman pushes his legs off easily.
The crowd applaud the fighters efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Cartman has decided he wants to stand but the closed guard of Samoth is proving hard to escape from.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Eric Cartman dominated that second round.
Well, the break between rounds is over. Let's get back to the scrappin! Ladies and gentlemen, this is the final round!

No luck for Samoth with that takedown attempt.
Samoth will need to tighten up his combinations if he doesn't want to gas himself out, swinging at thin air.
A big right from Cartman misses.
Cartman scores with a jab.

It looks like Mikael Samoth has been cut.
Cartman pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Samoth slips a straight right by Cartman.
Cartman swinging wilding here.
Cartman lunges in with swinging rights and lefts but Samoth circles away quickly and effectively.
Cartman falls off balance throwing a combination

and Samoth counters with a shoot takedown into half guard.
Both fighters are breathing heavily.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Cartman gets full guard.
Samoth passes into half guard.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Cartman blocking the ground and pound attempt from Samoth.

Samoth is looking for a kimura but he's never going to get it from there.
Samoth is keen to just control but Cartman is a slippery customer.
Cartman knows he needs to get back to his feet asap. He's simply no match for Samoth on the ground.
Samoth tries to stand but his hand is stuck under Cartman.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
My god... these two guys really need to pick up the pace or everyone will leave to go get a beer.

Samoth is looking for an arm triangle, whilst trying to pass to side control. Cartman doesn't seem that keen to cooperate though. No luck this time Samoth.
Samoth wants to stand up but Cartman has a hold of him and won't allow it.

Samoth is looking for an arm triangle, whilst trying to pass to side control. Cartman doesn't seem that keen to cooperate though. No luck this time Samoth.

That's three minutes gone in the round.

It looks like we're going to have a standup here. Neither fighter is doing enough on the ground.
Cartman scores with a sloppy right hand. Samoth should have avoided that one.
Cartman misses with a straight right.
Cartman lands a head shot.
Samoth misses with a hook.

Cartman lands a left and a right that send Samoth crashing to the mat, dazed. Cartman thinks about following him to the mat but decides to wave him back up to his feet!
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
A punch combination from Cartman misses.
Samoth shoots for a takedown but Cartman saw that one coming a mile off and avoided it easily.
A left lands for Cartman.
Cartman lands a big right hand and follows it up with an uppercut. Oh and another big punch and a knee - Samoth can't take much more of this! Another big shot to the jaw from Cartman and Samoth drops to the floor. Beaten and bloodied - he had enough there. A vicious beatdown by Cartman.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 4:01 of round 3, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Eric Cartman!