PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a bantamweight MMA rules bout between Zedicus Jones (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Raging Douche (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Jones kept the crowd waiting but all that was forgotten when his ring entrance music started. The incomparable musical genius that is Heroes. Zedicus Jones has the better chin. Will he look to stand and bang today?

Jones
vs
Douche

168 cm
21
135 lbs
8 - 3 - 0

150 cm
20
130 lbs
5 - 0 - 0

BJJ Purple Belt
Solid boxing
Cardio machine

Powerful takedowns
Counter striker
Good gas tank

Machina Clothing

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the bantamweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 8 - 3 - 0, fighting out of Sydney, Zedicus Jones!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 5 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Sydney, Raging Douche!
The judges for this bout are Skip Squint, Summer Carpenter and Hugh Johnson.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Douche bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Jones jabbing away but nothing is landing.
Douche misses with a wild body shot.
Douche ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Jones avoids the body shot from Douche.
Zedicus Jones seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Jones keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Douche throws a hook but Jones blocks it.
Jones will have to do better than that with his takedown attempts.
Douche throws a jab but it's blocked by Jones.
Douche throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Douche throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
Douche misses with a straight left.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Jones lands a straight punch to the body, keeping Douche at a distance.
Jones misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
A clash of legs there as Douche blocks the low kick.
Jones fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Douche manages to avoid it.
Jones throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Douche throws a lazy head kick
and Jones cracks him with a counter punch right on the button.
Jones moves into range and throws a combination. A nice jab followed by a hook to the body.
The fighters circle momentarily. Douche darts into range and connects with a nice straight punch.
Douche throws a leg kick which misses Jones's front leg but catches the back leg as Jones tries to avoid it.
Douche avoids the head kick by Jones.
Douche pulls out of a head kick attempt.

Jones gets caught on his heels momentarily as he allows Douche to score an easy takedown into full guard.
Jones is looking to stand up but Douche isn't so interested in that idea.
Jones working the defensive guard well to avoid strikes from Douche.
Jones tries to land a sweep but no joy.
Douche postures up to throw the ground and pound strikes but they don't connect.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Douche works over Jones with some ground and pound from guard.

That's two minutes gone in the round.

Jones looking for a guillotine here but Douche defends easily.
This has been an exciting period of action!

Jones had isolated an arm as going for an omaplata. Douche is defending the submission well but is in a very vulnerable position. Jones Is leaning forward trying to finish the omaplata but decides to abandon it, and take Douche's back instead.
Douche trying to control the position but Jones manages to sink in the hooks.
Jones tries to get the hooks in deep but Douche pushed the leg off.

Jones is looking to finish the fight by rear naked choke. Douche knows exactly what he's got planned though, so he's defending well. Maybe a few strikes would soften Douche for a finish.
Douche can't escape the position.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Douche rolls and manages to get back to half guard. Nicely done.
Douche wants to improve his position but Jones is controlling well.

The referee decides to stand the fighters back up.
Douche ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Jones misses with a low kick.
Douche takes a shot to the eye socket. That's gotta hurt.
Douche throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Jones sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Jones tries to score a power double leg takedown but Douche sees that one coming and sprawls well. That will dishearten Jones somewhat.
Douche uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Jones.
Jones misses with a jab and misses with a cross straight after too.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
My god... these two guys really need to pick up the pace or everyone will leave to go get a beer.
Jones misses with a takedown attempt
and Douche counters with a straight right hand.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Zedicus Jones. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Douche throws a sloppy head kick
letting Jones counter with a right hand.
Jones avoids the body shot from Douche.
Douche lands a with a good body shot.
Jones staying out of range there.
An inside leg kick lands from Douche.
Jones fails to land with a series of punches.
Jones looks to land a left hand but Douche moved out of range nicely.
Douche stuffs the takedown attempt from Jones. Jones gets slowly back to his feet.
Douche checks a low kick from Jones.
Douche moves out of range of the body kick from Jones.

Douche shoots in for a takedown from distance. He catches Jones napping and manages to drive through into side control!
The crowd applaud the fighters efforts here as the round comes to an end.
The fighters are starting to get a bit slippery now, which will make submissions a bit more difficult.
Douche scoring with punches and elbows.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Raging Douche dominated that round.
The minute break is over - no more time for sponges and pep talks - back to the action!

Jones shoots in looking for a double leg takedown. Douche defends it nicely.
Douche walks forward, straight into a front kick from Jones.
A really sloppy takedown attempt there from Douche.
A really sloppy takedown attempt there from Douche.
Jones walks straight into an uppercut. Luckily it didn't land flush.
Boom, another hit is landed. "You're gunna get knocked out" taunts Jones, as that shot connected.
Jones with a poor takedown
and Douche counters with a slapping leg kick.
Douche moves out of range of the strikes.
Jones throws a hook but Douche blocks it.
Jones pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Jones misses with a takedown attempt. He shot from a bit too far out.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Zedicus Jones. That's going to take a lot out of him.

That's one minute gone in the round.

Douche shoots in with a lovely double leg takedown. Jones manages to land in full guard to minimise the damage.
Douche postures up to throw the ground and pound strikes but they don't connect.
Douche loading up with the ground and pound but he's missing more than he's landing in this flurry.
Douche throwing elbows and punches but not connecting, as Jones works some decent striking defense from the bottom.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Douche keeps in close for a moment and lands a decent shot to the side of Jones's head.
Jones will need to keep those long limbs tucked in whilst he's on the ground, to prevent any submissions.
Douche thows a big elbow that misses.
Douche must be cautious of submissions here, given that his opponent has the superior Jiu Jitsu.
Douche scores with a decent looking elbow strike.

Jones looking for submissions from the bottom here. Moving his hips around, possibly looking for an armbar.
Hammerfist, elbow! yells Douche's corner. There ya go! There ya go!
Douche looking to pass the guard.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Douche throwing shots from guard but he's hitting more mat than opponent.
Douche throwing strikes but missing.
Jones throwing some rather feeble looking strikes off his back.
Douche postures up to throw the ground and pound strikes but they don't connect.

Jones has his foot on Douche's thigh. He's trying to push off and get in position for a triangle, I think. Douche works his way back into a safe position though.
Jones not looking particularly offensive just at the moment.
Douche is in close to Jones's body, working some short punches and elbows.
Douche looking to pass the guard.
Douche content to strike from guard, landing some decent shots.
Douche distracts Jones with his right hand and drops a big elbow with his other arm.

Jones working for a triangle but Douche defends it easily.
Both fighters are absolutely exhausted here.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Jones avoiding any damage from the ground and pound.
Jones striking from the bottom.
Douche working some ground and pound from guard but it's not doing any damage.

Jones looking for submissions off his back, moving his hips, looking for an opening.
Douche is looking to work some ground and pound but Jones has wrist control.
Jones preventing the ground and pound from doing any damage.
Douche landing with the ground and pound.
Jones looking to hit a scissor sweep but Douche is one step ahead there.
Hammerfist, elbow! yells Douche's corner. There ya go! There ya go!

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are starting to boo a lack of action.
Jones is trying to control the position but Douche postures up.
Douche throwing shots from guard but he's hitting more mat than opponent.
Douche working some ground and pound from guard but it's not doing any damage.
Douche postures up and scores with a shot to the body and a follow up elbow to the head.

Jones looking for submissions from the bottom here. Moving his hips around, possibly looking for an armbar.

Jones is looking for a triangle but Douche pushes his legs off easily.
Douche lands a nice shot whilst sitting in his opponent's guard.
Douche throws and elbow that misses. Jones uses the momentum to reverse the position. He's now in Douche's guard. Nice move by Jones!
Jones wants to stand but Douche is controlling his posture from full guard.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Raging Douche showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
The fighters get back to their feet, the hooter sounds and we're back to the action! Let's hear some noise people - this is the final round!

Jones doesn't succeed with the takedown
and Douche makes him pay by landing a thudding low kick.
Jones waving his hands out infront of him, looking to distract Douche.
Jones moves out of range of the strikes.
Jones uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Douche.
Douche misses with a body shot.
Jones scores with a jab to the jaw of his opponent.
Jones defending well as Douche loads up on a big left hand.
Jones moves out of range as Douche throws a body kick.
Douche shoots in for a takedown but Jones shows good takedown defense.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Jones loads up on a big right hand but Douche slips the punch.
Douche avoids the head kick by Jones.
Douche tries to land a front kick but Jones steps back. That was a bit too telegraphed.
Douche has a takedown stuffed.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Jones misses the jab.
Jones throws a lazy right hand but Douche sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
Douche tries to move into range but Jones moves to the side and lands with a nice right hand.
Douche throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Jones sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Jones throws a body punch but Douche moves out of range.
Douche throws a push kick but Jones slaps the foot to one side.
Douche swings for the body but Jones moves out of range.
Jones lands with a hook. Douche tried to avoid it but it clipped the top of his head.

Douche feints and as Jones raises his hands in defense, Douche changes levels and drives through with a takedown into guard.
Douche with a couple of shots to the head there. Not particularly brutal.
Douche in full guard, throwing the ground and pound. No damage this time.

Jones looking for submissions off his back, moving his hips, looking for an opening.
Douche throws a strike but Jones rolls with it and manages to sweep. Now he's in guard on top.
Zedicus Jones has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Jones wants to stand but Douche is controlling his posture from full guard.
Douche is trying to control the position from the bottom.
Jones scoring with some ground and pound.
Jones wants to stand and escape but instead Douche has hit a sweep and he's now on top in guard.
Douche postures up in Jones's guard and throws a big left but Jones blocks it.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Douche is looking to work some ground and pound but Jones has wrist control.
Douche stops Jones from standing up.
Jones working the defensive guard well to avoid strikes from Douche.
Douche is pushing down on Jones's leg trying to pass to half guard. Jones is fighting to maintain full guard but Douche has managed to sneak the leg through.
Douche looks towards his corner to check for any instructions. The corner give him nothing to work with, so he cracks Jones with a short hammerfist. I guess that's as good as any advice he could get in this position.
Douche throwing shots but they're hitting the canvas more than the man.
Jones tries to kick Douche off but Douche keeps his base steady and stays in half guard.
Both fighters are breathing heavily.
Douche looks to land a strike but Jones avoids it nicely and regains full guard.
Raging Douche has got the better of the ground game so far.
Douche missing there with some ground and pound from the guard.
Douche loading up with the ground and pound but he's missing more than he's landing in this flurry.
Douche trying to move into half guard but instead Jones has managed to sweep!
Jones stopping the sweep attempt from Douche.
Jones wants to stand but Douche is controlling his posture from full guard.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
My god... these two guys really need to pick up the pace or everyone will leave to go get a beer.

Neither fighter is doing enough for the referee's liking and he's decided to stand them back up.
Jones falls off balance throwing a combination
and Douche makes him pay by landing a thudding low kick.
A jab from Jones misses.
Jones falls off balance throwing a combination

so Douche counters with a double leg into guard. Good agility.
Jones preventing the ground and pound from doing any damage.
Jones keeping full guard, as Douche tries to pass.
Douche postures up in Jones's guard and throws a big left but Jones blocks it.

And that's the end of the fight!
Raging Douche comfortably won the final round on my scorecard.
Well Douche has outworked and out performed his opponent in all aspects of the game today. He was simply too good and the decision should be no more than a formality. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Skip Squint scores the fight 27:30
Judge Summer Carpenter scores the fight 27:30
Judge Hugh Johnson scores the fight 27:30

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Raging Douche!