|
|
PBP Commentary |
Coming up we have a lightweight MMA rules bout between One Inch Penis (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and marucio machida (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Penis comes to the cage accompanied by Pinchers - Bandolero. Over to our ring announcer for the fighter introductions!
 |
|
 |
| 179 cm
18
164 lbs
2 - 0 - 0 |
|
175 cm
18
160 lbs
2 - 0 - 0 |
BJJ Purple Belt
Counter striker
Prefers ground |
|
BJJ Blue Belt
Brawler
Tends to cut |
|
| |
|
Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, for the lightweight championship of the world!
Introducing the champion to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of
2 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Tokyo, One Inch Penis!
And introducing the challenger to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of
2 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Tokyo, marucio machida!
The judges for this bout are Tatsuya Matsuyama, Taro Takaoka and Yukihiro Shimada.
The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
machida fails with a rather predictable takedown attempt.
machida fails with the takedown.
Penis scores with a nice takedown into half guard. Let's see what he's got on the ground.
machida regains full guard. Nicely done.
machida will have to put a bit more behind his punches if he's going to do any damage from this position.
Penis stopping the sweep attempt from machida.
Penis trying to pass the guard but can't manage it just yet.
machida tries to land a sweep but no joy.
machida is persisting with the attempt to improve his position.
The referee decides to stand the fighters back up.
machida misses with a takedown attempt
and Penis counters with a driving takedown into guard. Nice work there by Penis.
One Inch Penis has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of marucio machida.
Penis stopping the sweep attempt from machida.
Penis wants to pass the guard but machida is keeping the position.
Both fighters really going for it on the ground here!
Penis is working hard here to advance position.
machida not looking particularly offensive just at the moment.
That's one minute gone in the round.
machida looking to sweep here. No luck so far.
Penis thinks about going for a leg but decides against it, in order to maintain the position.
Penis looking to pass the guard.
Neither fighter is doing enough for the referee's liking and he's decided to stand them back up.
machida with a lazy takedown attempt
so Penis counters with a double leg into guard. Good agility.
Penis passes machida's right leg, so he's now in half guard.
Penis is looking for an arm triangle, whilst trying to pass to side control. machida doesn't seem that keen to cooperate though. No luck this time Penis.
Penis is breathing heavily.
machida gets full guard.
Penis stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. machida swivels though and keeps the full guard.
machida looking to sweep here. No luck so far.
There's a bit of a scramble here and now machida is on top in guard.
Penis looking for submissions off his back, moving his hips, looking for an opening.
machida keeps in close for a moment and lands a decent shot to the side of Penis's head.
machida must be cautious of submissions here, given that his opponent has the superior Jiu Jitsu.
machida scores with a decent looking elbow strike.
Penis keeping full guard, as machida tries to pass.
machida trying to control the position from guard on top but Penis is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
Penis is looking for a triangle but machida pushes his legs off easily.
machida scoring with some ground and pound.
Penis manages to sweep nicely, so he's now on top. machida manages to get himself to full guard.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Penis is trying to work a guillotine from the top, or something like that? Don't know how he thinks he's going to get a finish from there.
machida tries to strike from the bottom.
Penis trying to pass the guard but can't manage it just yet.
Penis passes machida's right leg, so he's now in half guard.
This has been an exciting period of action!
machida is defending against the submission attempts here by Penis.
machida wants to get back to full guard.
Penis is looking for a kimura but machida is holding onto that half guard position, so it's hard for Penis to get the leverage.
Penis is looking for a kimura but machida is holding onto that half guard position, so it's hard for Penis to get the leverage.
machida is looking to regain full guard. Not this time though.
machida tries to strike from the bottom but it doesn't land.
machida is trying to get back to full guard.
Penis frees up his trapped foot and advances to mount.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
machida tries to reverse the position but Penis maintains control.
machida really doesn't want to stay on the ground with Penis. If he can't get it back to his feet, it's only a matter of time before he'll be tapping out.
machida slips a leg in and gets back to half guard.
machida has no desire to be mounted, so is trying to control. Penis is working away from the top position though.
machida is looking to regain full guard. Not this time though.
Penis passes to side control.
machida tries to bench press Penis off him but Penis keeps the position.
Penis thinks about going for a far side armbar but bails out and retains the dominant position instead.
machida sneaks a leg under to get back to half guard.
Penis is looking for a kimura. It's going to be difficult to finish that from half guard though and machida defends it well.
Penis has hold of the far side arm. He's working for the Kimura, can machida defend it? Penis steps over the head and cranks it - machida is tapping out! That was textbook stuff right there - nice submission victory for Penis!
Ladies and gentlemen, after 3:50 of round 1, we have a winner by way of Submission (Kimura). One Inch Penis!
One Inch Penis is the new lightweight champion!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| S |
C
A |
G |
S |
C
B |
G |
|
S |
C |
G |
|
energy
A | B |
|
hype
A | B |
|
pop
A | B |
|
mgr
A | B |
|
FIGHT
RATING
77% |
|
|
|
|
|
|
