PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a lightweight MMA rules bout between Dick Destruction (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Tsorka Vladium (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Destruction comes to the cage accompanied by Earth Sized Microwave by Japanese Torture Comedy Hour. Dick Destruction has a significant reach advantage - let's see if he can make it count.

Destruction
vs
Vladium

179 cm
22
165 lbs
1 - 0 - 0

162 cm
22
155 lbs
3 - 1 - 0

BJJ Purple Belt
Excellent MT
Cardio machine

BJJ Blue Belt
Counter striker
Very confident

Death Ring Apparel

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the lightweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 1 - 0 - 0, fighting out of St Petersburg, Dick Destruction!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 3 - 1 - 0, fighting out of St Petersburg, Tsorka Vladium!
The judges for this bout are Konstantin Menshow, Igor Prikhodko and Dmitry Maklakov.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Destruction throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Vladium takes a kick to the side of the head.
Vladium takes a hook to the side of the head. I wonder if that's got his ears ringing.
A swing and a miss from Destruction.

Destruction closes the distance and clinches.
Vladium wants a takedown but no success here.
Nice elbow from Destruction.

It looks like Tsorka Vladium has been cut.

Destruction breaks the clinch and we're back to striking at distance.
Destruction missing with a left hand there. Vladium was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.

Vladium shoots in and bounces Destruction off the cage to secure the takedown into guard.
Destruction is doing well to control the posture of his opponent and prevent any damage.
Vladium wants to control from the top but Destruction keeps moving.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Vladium wanted to stand there but Destruction had control of the position.
Destruction trying to control the position here.
Destruction tries to land a sweep but no joy.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Neither fighter has done anything of merit for a good minute or two here and the crowd are not happy about it.
Vladium has decided he wants to stand but the closed guard of Destruction is proving hard to escape from.
Vladium passes easily into side control. Nice work.
Vladium wants to stand but Destruction has his arm trapped.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Destruction is sneaking out the side here. He's bucked Vladium off and has taken his back!
Destruction struggling to land strikes to the head as Vladium covers up.
Destruction has his opponent trapped and is landing shots. Not a good position for Vladium.
Destruction lands with a couple of good shots - one to the side of the head and one questionable shot that could be viewed as to the back of the head but the referee lets it go.
Destruction cracks Vladium with a big shot to body and one to the head - really punishing Vladium from the back mount here, looking to soften him up.
Destruction looking to soften up his opponent with punches.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.

Destruction is working for the rear naked choke. He has one arm under the chin but Vladium has hold of the other arm. A bit of a stalemate here.

That's four minutes gone in the round.

Vladium is looking to stand back up. He's having to work hard to escape but eventually he manages it.
Destruction throws a leg kick which misses Vladium's front leg but catches the back leg as Vladium tries to avoid it.
Destruction throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Destruction paws at his opponent with the jab and then lunges in with a straight, right on the button.
Destruction jabs Vladium right on the nose. Vladium blinks but takes it well.
Destruction lands a head shot.
Vladium tries to shoot in for a takedown. He's got hold of a leg but Destruction swivels and escapes.
Destruction is looking to clinch but Vladium is avoiding it.
Destruction misses with a two punch combination.
Destruction throws a series of punches but Vladium avoids them all with ease.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Dick Destruction dominated that round.
The cut man is working on Tsorka Vladium's cut.
That's time! Destruction's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight.

Destruction closes the distance and lands a one-two.
Destruction throws a combination but comes up with nothing but fresh air.
Vladium blocks a head kick by Destruction.
Vladium takes one on the button.
Destruction digs a good body shot into Vladium's ribs.

Vladium throws the overhand right but ducks down into a quick takedown attempt. Destruction was covering up waiting for the punch and Vladium finishes the takedown easily into guard.
There's a bit of a scramble here and now Destruction is on top in guard.
Destruction postures up.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Destruction slips nicely into half guard.

Destruction decides to stand up.
Vladium closes this distance looking for a takedown but Destruction circles away.
Vladium takes a shot to the body in his stride.
Vladium should think about turning a few of those tyres round his middle into muscle if he wants people to take him seriously as an athlete.
Destruction throws a sloppy head kick and Vladium moves out of range easily.
Vladium shoots in looking for a takedown. Destruction tries to sprawl out of it but Vladium keeps driving through. The fighters are pinned against the cage. Destruction manages to get underhooks and after a bit of a struggle, circles away and we're back to standing.
A thudding body kick lands there by Destruction!
Destruction is looking to chop away at Vladium's legs.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Destruction lands with a right hand.
Vladium gets cracked with a nice right hand there by Destruction.
Nice body kick from Destruction.
Vladium takes a head kick and keeps coming.
Destruction throws a sloppy head kick and Vladium moves out of range easily.
Vladium tries to shoot in for a takedown. He's got hold of a leg but Destruction swivels and escapes.
Dick Destruction has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Tsorka Vladium.
Vladium fails to land the takedown.
Destruction pulls out of a head kick attempt.

Destruction fakes with an overhand right and moves in to clinch with Vladium, pushing him back against the cage.
Vladium has had enough of the clinch and is looking to separate.
Destruction stops a takedown attempt from Vladium.
Destruction landing knees to the body. They look like they could hurt.
Vladium is breathing heavily.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Destruction lands a damaging elbow.
Destruction lands a damaging elbow.

Destruction lands a nice trip takedown into half guard.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Destruction not landing any meaningful shots this time.
Destruction thumps the canvas. Not on purpose obviously - he just missed Vladium's head.
Destruction not landing any meaningful shots this time.
Well, if Destruction is going to just lie there, perhaps we should talk about what we're having for dinner tonight… I'm having a ham and pineapple pizza… Yum. Can't wait.

Destruction is thinking about going for an arm triangle but he can't free his leg.
Vladium pushes Destruction off looking to stand but Destruction dives back in and keeps control.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Well. There's a bit of a lull in the action here and the crowd are starting to get restless.
Destruction is controlling the pace.
Destruction will need to keep those long limbs tucked in whilst he's on the ground, to prevent any submissions.
The crowd applaud the fighters efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Vladium regains full guard, whilst avoiding punches from Destruction.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Dick Destruction dominated that second round.
The cut man is working on Tsorka Vladium's cut.
Well, the break between rounds is over. Let's get back to the scrappin! This is the final round!

Destruction looks to land a left hand but Vladium moved out of range nicely.
Nice takedown defense from Destruction. No joy for Vladium on that attempt.
Dick Destruction seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Vladium drops his hands and takes a jab to the jaw for his troubles.
Vladium closes the distance and clinches up with Destruction, looking for a takedown. Vladium pushes Destruction against the cage but Destruction circles to the side and manages to break the clinch.
Nice takedown defense from Destruction. No joy for Vladium on that attempt.
Dick Destruction has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Tsorka Vladium.
Vladium chopped to the floor by a nice leg kick but he springs right back up before Destruction can pounce on him.
Destruction stuffs the takedown attempt from Vladium. Vladium gets slowly back to his feet.
Destruction tries a head kick but it misses.

Destruction has Vladium up against the cage in a clinch.
Destruction lands with a short shot to the head.
Destruction scores with a knee to the head.
Vladium struggles to land a body shot inside as Destruction controls his hands.

Destruction breaks the clinch and we're back to striking at distance.
Destruction lands a glancing blow to the side of Vladium's head.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Vladium on the receiving end of a decent leg kick there by Destruction. Destruction obviously looking to wear him down.
Destruction throws a sloppy head kick and Vladium moves out of range easily.

Destruction clinches up with Vladium and pushes him back against the cage.
Destruction gets an overhook and lands an elbow to the side of the head.
Destruction lands a knee to the head.
Vladium has had enough of the clinch but Destruction keeps him there for the moment.
Destruction lands an elbow inside that Vladium shrugs off.
Vladium takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.
Destruction lands a body punch - he's looking to wear down Vladium.
Destruction lands a nice elbow from the clinch.
Destruction connects with a knee to the head.

That has opened up Tsorka Vladium's cut even more.
Destruction lands an elbow that stopped Vladium in his tracks for a moment.
Destruction lands an elbow just above Vladium 's eye.
Vladium tries to jump guard but he falls flat on his backside. Destruction smiles and moves away.

Destruction rushes Vladium and pushes him back against the cage in a clinch.
Vladium takes an elbow to the temple.
Destruction avoiding damage as Vladium throws knees to the body.
Destruction prevents Vladium from breaking the clinch.
Destruction lands a nice elbow from the clinch.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Destruction lands a damaging elbow.
Destruction comes over the top with an elbow. That landed flush.
Destruction is using his height advantage well here, landing a good percentage of his punches.
Destruction blocks a knee to the body. He'll have a nicely bruised forearm in the morning.
Vladium is trying to work for a single leg takedown but Destruction pulls him back up using the underhooks.
Destruction with the Thai clinch, lands a knee to the head.
Destruction lands an elbow that stopped Vladium in his tracks for a moment.

Vladium is rocked!
Destruction landing knees to the head.
Vladium is still on wobbly legs! Can Destruction finish him?
Destruction creates a bit of space for himself and sneaks an elbow through Vladium's defenses.
Destruction lands a nice elbow.
Destruction lands a good knee to the midsection. Vladium won't want to take too many of those.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
A right hand to the body from Destruction.
Destruction landing some nice looking knees to the body.
Vladium seems to have recovered his senses.
A shot in the inside from Destruction.
Vladium takes an elbow to the temple.
Destruction crunches a lovely knee into Vladium's ribcage.
Vladium jumps guard but his hands slip and he falls flat on his back. Well, he's made himself look a right mug there, as Destruction walks away with a smile on his face. Vladium gets slowly back to his feet and shakes his head.

Destruction instigates a clinch.
A battle for position here, against the cage.
Destruction gets double underhooks to prevent a takedown attempt from Vladium.
Dick Destruction has scored more points in the clinch so far.
Destruction comes over the top with an elbow. That landed flush.
Destruction lands a knee to the head.
Vladium has Destruction pressed up against the cage and is working for takedown. Destruction manages to improve position though and keeps the fight standing.
Destruction lands a nice elbow.
Destruction lands a knee to the head.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Destruction throws a knee to the head but misses.
Destruction fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Vladium is trying to break the clinch but Destruction has him pressed against the cage.
Destruction prevents Vladium from breaking the clinch.
Destruction lands a nice elbow.
Destruction connects with a knee to the head.

Vladium ties up his opponent against the cage and manages to drag the fight down to the ground. Vladium no doubt will be looking to work submissions from his guard.
Vladium preventing the ground and pound from doing any damage.
A big thud reverberates around the arena there as Destruction accidentally thumps the mat. Hopefully he's not broken his hand.
Destruction has been looking to land a fair amount of strikes on the ground. He might be looking to soften his opponent up in order to work for a submission.
Vladium avoiding any damage from the ground and pound.
Destruction trying to control but Vladium is working from the bottom.

Destruction stands and steps away. Vladium gets to his feet too and we're back to the striking game.

Destruction has closed the distance and engaged Vladium in a clinch.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Destruction scores with a knee to the head.
Tsorka Vladium has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
Destruction is really dominating this fight. Is there anything that Vladium can do to turn this around?
Vladium tries to score a body lock takedown but Destruction shows good agility there to stay on his feet.
Vladium working hard to break the clinch.
Destruction lands a knee to the head there! That was nasty!
Vladium landing knees to the body. They look like they could hurt.
Vladium is looking for a takedown up against the cage. Destruction gets underhooks though and prevents the takedown attempt.
Vladium utilising his Muay Thai to score with a knee to the body.
Vladium takes a knee right on the jaw!
Vladium takes an elbow to the forehead.
Destruction lands a nice knee to the body.
Vladium is looking to control Destruction's arms but Destruction gets an underhook and turns him. Now Vladium has his back to the cage.
Destruction landing knees to the body. They look like they could hurt.
Vladium misses with a shot to the kidneys.
Vladium goes for a takedown in the clinch but Destruction prevents it.

Destruction is working on a single leg takedown against the cage. Vladium can't fight it off and eventually Destruction manages to take the fight to the floor. Vladium looks annoyed but at least he's managed to land in guard.

Vladium looking for a guillotine here but Destruction defends easily.
The crowd applaud the fighters efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Destruction working some ground and pound from guard but it's not doing any damage.

And that's the end of the fight!
Dick Destruction showed his dominance in that final round.
Well Destruction has outscored his opponent in every aspect of the fight today. Only a scarily incompetent judge or two will keep him from a well deserved win... Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Konstantin Menshow scores the fight 30:26
Judge Igor Prikhodko scores the fight 30:26
Judge Dmitry Maklakov scores the fight 30:26

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Dick Destruction!