PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between Sponge SquarePants (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Jyrkki Heilemo (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Jyrkki Heilemo has the better chin. Will he look to stand and bang today?

SquarePants
vs
Heilemo

187 cm
19
215 lbs
3 - 0 - 0

190 cm
23
210 lbs
1 - 0 - 0

BJJ Purple Belt
Counter striker
Very strong

BJJ White Belt
Excellent boxer
Granite chin

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, for the light heavyweight championship of the world!
Introducing the champion to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 3 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Helsinki, Sponge SquarePants!
And introducing the challenger to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 1 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Helsinki, Jyrkki Heilemo!
The judges for this bout are Matti Vanhoillinen, Roosa Järviläinen and Ben Zyskovitsi.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Heilemo connects with a high kick.

It looks like Sponge SquarePants has been cut.
SquarePants throws a wild combination but nothing lands.
Heilemo throws a nice head kick!
A nice leg kick lands there from Heilemo.
No luck for Heilemo with that takedown attempt.
SquarePants is looking to clinch.
SquarePants throws a lazy right hand but Heilemo sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
Heilemo closes the distance but SquarePants moves to the side

and SquarePants counters with a single leg into guard. Heilemo didn't expect that.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
SquarePants postures up and scores with a shot to the body and a follow up elbow to the head.
Heilemo keeping full guard, as SquarePants tries to pass.
SquarePants preventing the sweep.
SquarePants missing there with some ground and pound from the guard.
SquarePants tries to free his leg and advance position but Heilemo is retaining full guard.

That's one minute gone in the round.

SquarePants avoids a guillotine attempt easily.
SquarePants in full guard, throwing the ground and pound. No damage this time.
SquarePants landing some decent shots from guard.
SquarePants trying to control but Heilemo is working from the bottom.
SquarePants keeps in close for a moment and lands a decent shot to the side of Heilemo's head.

Heilemo looking for submissions from the bottom but instead SquarePants passes into half guard.
SquarePants lands strikes from half guard.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Heilemo blocking the ground and pound attempt from SquarePants.
Heilemo avoiding damage under a succession of punches from SquarePants.
Heilemo blocking the ground and pound attempt from SquarePants.
SquarePants slips a nice elbow through Heilemo's hands, connecting with Heilemo's forehead.
SquarePants takes advantage of the dominant position to land a couple of big hammer fists.
SquarePants working some ground and pound from close in. He's looking to maintain this position and strike for a while by the looks of things... although he'll probably advance to full mount in a minute now I've said that.
Heilemo is looking for a sweep. SquarePants is wise to his cunning plan and keeps the top position.
SquarePants working the head and body with strikes.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
SquarePants seems to be taking a bit of a break to think of his next move. He lands a short punch in the meantime.
Heilemo really doesn't want to stay on the ground with SquarePants. If he can't get it back to his feet, it's only a matter of time before he'll be tapping out.
This has been an exciting period of action!
SquarePants throwing shots but Heilemo is blocking nicely.
SquarePants stalling.
Heilemo trying to keep hold of his opponent's head but SquarePants manages to pass to mount!

That's three minutes gone in the round.
SquarePants lands an elbow that was bordering on illegal but the referee lets it go with a warning.
SquarePants wants to control the pace but Heilemo is squirming around nicely.
SquarePants looking to finish Heilemo with some ground and pound. This is bad for Heilemo!
SquarePants looking to ground and pound his opponent to a finish here.
Heilemo takes a big shot to the head but keeps on trying to improve his position.
SquarePants has been looking to land a fair amount of strikes on the ground. He might be looking to soften his opponent up in order to work for a submission.
SquarePants working away from the top, dropping strikes.
Heilemo is in all sorts of trouble here.
SquarePants lands a shot to the body, followed up by a shot to the exposed head of his trapped opponent.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
SquarePants controlling the pace for now.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
SquarePants scoring with strikes but Heilemo is staying in there.
Heilemo looks gassed!
SquarePants pausing momentarily but resumes with a couple of decent strikes that do a bit of damage.
Heilemo taking shots to the head.
SquarePants looking to ground and pound his opponent to a finish here.
SquarePants pausing momentarily but resumes with a couple of decent strikes that do a bit of damage.
Heilemo tries to hold on but SquarePants pushes him away.
SquarePants connects with a couple of good shots from mount.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
SquarePants looking to ground and pound his opponent to a finish here.
SquarePants working Heilemo over with strikes here.
SquarePants postures up and cracks his opponent a couple of times before moving back into close ground control. Heilemo looks a forlorn figure.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Sponge SquarePants dominated that round.
The cut man is working on Sponge SquarePants's cut.
That's the end of the interval. I'm sure that seemed a lot quicker than a minute for our two fighters! Back to the action.

SquarePants shoots in and bounces Heilemo off the cage to secure the takedown into guard.
SquarePants sitting in guard, not really doing much.
SquarePants is working the ground and pound from guard. He might want to try advancing position though to get more of an impact.
Heilemo avoiding any damage from the ground and pound.
Heilemo wants to stand up but SquarePants is controlling him.
Heilemo is working from a closed guard but he's struggling to control his opponent.
SquarePants trying to control but Heilemo is working from the bottom.

That's one minute gone in the round.
SquarePants's corner is telling him to maintain position.
SquarePants trying to control but Heilemo is working from the bottom.
SquarePants throwing strikes from guard but Heilemo blocks nicely.
Heilemo utilising some decent striking defenses from the guard, preventing the ground and pound.

Neither fighter is doing enough for the referee's liking and he's decided to stand them back up.
SquarePants lets the fists fly and connects with a left straight followed by a right hook.
Heilemo tries for a takedown but SquarePants circles away easily

and SquarePants counters with a takedown into side control.
SquarePants is putting a hurting on Heilemo here, landing some big shots from side control.
SquarePants trying to control the action but Heilemo is working from the bottom.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
SquarePants working the head and body with strikes.
Heilemo wants to escape from the position here - easier said than done!
Heilemo is breathing heavily.
Heilemo takes a couple of big shots there - the referee warns him that he has to defend himself better.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
SquarePants has knee on belly and moves into mount.
SquarePants pausing momentarily but resumes with a couple of decent strikes that do a bit of damage.
SquarePants working Heilemo over with strikes here.
SquarePants putting on the heat here with some good ground and pound!
SquarePants landing strikes from the mount and Heilemo is in trouble!

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Heilemo wants to control but SquarePants is having none of it.
A nice elbow there by SquarePants.
SquarePants is really dominating this fight. Is there anything that Heilemo can do to turn this around?
SquarePants in mount throwing good strikes here, bouncing his opponent's head off the canvas.
SquarePants connects with a couple of good shots from mount.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Heilemo is looking to get to half guard.
The crowd growing excited in anticipation of a finish here! Right on cue, SquarePants cracks his opponent with a massive right hand that draws loud cheers!
SquarePants dominating with strikes here.
Heilemo is in a horrible position here. SquarePants smacks him with another shot as he tries to escape the position.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Heilemo working to try and regain half guard.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
SquarePants controlling the pace for now.
Heilemo tries to hold on but SquarePants postures up.
Heilemo is bucking up trying to escape but SquarePants cracks him with another couple of good strikes.
SquarePants fakes a shot to the body and cracks his opponent in the head. Nice ground and pound there!
SquarePants with shots to the head and body - Heilemo looks very uncomfortable down there.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
SquarePants lands a couple of nice shots there from mount.
SquarePants lands with some strikes.
SquarePants lands a big elbow.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Sponge SquarePants dominated that second round.
The cut man is working on Sponge SquarePants's cut.
The fighters' corners scream their final instructions, as the referee calls time. Here we go, back to the action!

SquarePants dodges the punch combination from Heilemo.
Heilemo leaves SquarePants with his face pressed against the mat as he sprawls beautifully, defending against a solid takedown attempt.
Heilemo throws a combination but comes up with nothing but fresh air.
Heilemo throws a head kick but SquarePants moves out of range.
SquarePants fails with a takedown attempt.
Heilemo has his takedown stuffed

and SquarePants counters with a nice shoot takedown that brings the fighters to the ground.
SquarePants trying to control but Heilemo is working from the bottom.
SquarePants working in close now, lands a nice elbow to the side of Heilemo's head.
Heilemo takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.
Heilemo preventing the ground and pound from doing any damage.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Heilemo keeping moving, preventing SquarePants from controlling successfully.
Hammerfist, elbow! yells SquarePants's corner. There ya go! There ya go!
SquarePants cracks Heilemo with a solid left hand.
SquarePants is stalling in the full guard.
SquarePants is working the ground and pound from guard. He might want to try advancing position though to get more of an impact.
SquarePants lands a couple of digs.
SquarePants with a nice head shot there.
SquarePants is working the ground and pound from guard. He might want to try advancing position though to get more of an impact.
Heilemo trying to keep a closed guard but SquarePants is proving a slippery customer.

That's two minutes gone in the round.

SquarePants stands and steps away. Heilemo gets to his feet too and we're back to the striking game.

Heilemo clinches.
Heilemo is looking to control SquarePants's arms but SquarePants gets an underhook and turns him. Now Heilemo has his back to the cage.
The two fighters are working to gain dominance in the clinch.
Heilemo gets double underhooks to prevent a takedown attempt from SquarePants.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Sponge SquarePants. That's going to take a lot out of him.

Heilemo escapes the clinch and we're back to striking.

SquarePants scores a trip takedown into side control. Nice.
SquarePants lands a knee to the body and follows it up with some ground and pound to the head. That will wear Heilemo down.
SquarePants working away.
SquarePants lands a decent elbow from side control.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
SquarePants lands a nice forearm strike.
SquarePants lands a knee to the body and follows it up with some ground and pound to the head. That will wear Heilemo down.
SquarePants grinds an elbow into Heilemo's temple.
SquarePants cracks Heilemo with a big elbow.
Check out the look on SquarePants's face as he threw that strike - that's one determined fighter!
Heilemo takes a couple of big shots there - the referee warns him that he has to defend himself better.
SquarePants working the ground and pound.
Heilemo tries to buck SquarePants off but SquarePants is having none of it.
SquarePants working the ground and pound.
SquarePants working away diligently from side control. Landing strikes effectively there - that will score him some points on the judges scorecards.
SquarePants working the ground and pound.
Heilemo takes a nasty elbow to the side of the head.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
SquarePants creates a bit of distance and throws down some hard shots.
SquarePants landing strikes.
Heilemo taking a bit of punishment here - SquarePants scoring with strikes.
We get told so often about how wrestlers don't like to be on their backs. Let's see if Heilemo can do anything to dispel that myth.
Heilemo being controlled for a moment.
SquarePants landing strikes.
The crowd applaud the fighters efforts here as the round comes to an end.
SquarePants has control of an arm but Heilemo manages to advance to SquarePants's back!
SquarePants breaks Heilemo's hooks off and manages to turn into his guard.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
SquarePants working from the guard for now, landing some ground and pound.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Sponge SquarePants clearly takes that round.
The cut man is working on Sponge SquarePants's cut.
That's time! SquarePants's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight.

SquarePants fails with the takedown

and Heilemo counters with a nice double leg into half guard.
SquarePants wants to get back to full guard.
Heilemo wants to stand but SquarePants has hold of a leg and an arm, so he's trapped for now.
Heilemo is absolutely dripping with sweat - he looks exhausted.
SquarePants gets back to full guard.

That's one minute gone in the round.
SquarePants pulls Heilemo in close to his closed guard and prevents Heilemo from doing any damage or advancing position.
Heilemo won't allow SquarePants to sweep him here.
Sponge SquarePants overall seems to be getting the better of the ground position in the fight so far.
Heilemo slows down the pace of the fight for a moment. He'll need to remain active if he doesn't want to see the fight stood back up.
SquarePants is doing well to control the posture of his opponent and prevent any damage.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are hurling abuse towards the fighters... You can hardly blame them though because there isn't a lot going on in the fight.
Heilemo is looking to stand up but SquarePants won't let him.

SquarePants manages to escape and get back to his feet.

SquarePants drives through with a takedown into guard.
Heilemo utilising some decent striking defenses from the guard, preventing the ground and pound.
Heilemo controls SquarePants momentarily but SquarePants frees himself.
Heilemo keeping moving, preventing SquarePants from controlling successfully.
Heilemo wants to control but SquarePants passes easily into half guard.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Heilemo is trying to control but can't.
SquarePants passes the guard and advances to mount!
SquarePants lands with some strikes.
Heilemo wants to try and get back to his feet.
SquarePants landing strikes from the mount.
SquarePants putting on the heat here with some good ground and pound!
SquarePants putting on the heat here with some good ground and pound!
The referee warns Heilemo that he has to improve his position here as he takes two more clean shots to the head.
SquarePants cracks Heilemo with a nasty head shot there - the crowd let out an audible gasp there, as the noise reverberated around the arena.

Heilemo is rocked!

That's four minutes gone in the round.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
SquarePants content just to control the position here.
SquarePants putting on the heat here with some good ground and pound!
SquarePants prevents Heilemo from getting the reversal.
SquarePants fakes a shot to the body and cracks his opponent in the head. Nice ground and pound there!
Heilemo really trying hard to get back to half guard here.
SquarePants unloading with bombs!
The crowd applaud the fighters efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Heilemo is looking to get to half guard.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Sponge SquarePants had his way with Jyrkki Heilemo in that round.
The cut man is working on Sponge SquarePants's cut.
The fighters' corners scream their final instructions, as the referee calls time. Here we go, back to the action! This is the final round!

Horrible takedown by SquarePants or perhaps it was just good defense by Heilemo which made him look bad.
Sponge SquarePants is looking to throw some combinations by the looks of things.
Heilemo fails with the takedown

and SquarePants counters with a nice single leg takedown and he's in Heilemo's guard now.
SquarePants landing some decent shots from guard.
SquarePants in full guard, throwing the ground and pound. No damage this time.
SquarePants chips away with some ground and pound.
SquarePants lands a couple of elbows.
Both of our modern day gladiators look out of it here - an gruelling 5 rounds of action taking it's toll on them, no doubt.
SquarePants postures up in Heilemo's guard and throws a big left but Heilemo blocks it.
SquarePants lands a couple of elbows.
Heilemo looking to sweep here. No luck so far.
Heilemo can't keep his opponent in guard - SquarePants advances to half guard, no doubt looking to mount.

That's one minute gone in the round.
The two fighters exchange a few words. I couldn't hear what they were saying but maybe it's more fun if you make it up yourself. SquarePants connects with a nice short shot to Heilemo's temple.
SquarePants is trying to control. Heilemo wants to improve his position but can't escape this time.
SquarePants looks towards his corner to check for any instructions. The corner give him nothing to work with, so he cracks Heilemo with a short hammerfist. I guess that's as good as any advice he could get in this position.
SquarePants takes advantage of the dominant position to land a couple of big hammer fists.
Heilemo on the receiving end of some nice ground and pound.
Heilemo trying to control from the bottom.
SquarePants landing with strikes to the body and head, softening up his opponent.
SquarePants is looking to take a break and control but Heilemo is keeping him honest, looking to work from the bottom.
Neither fighter is being very active at the moment, with SquarePants in particular looking to stall.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
SquarePants seems very keen to just sit and control from half guard but Heilemo does not like that idea so much and is remaining active off his back.
SquarePants lands a big shot. The thud that echoes around the arena is like music to the fans' ears.
Heilemo blocking the ground and pound attempt from SquarePants.
Heilemo tries to roll over but SquarePants keeps him under control.
Heilemo has hold of SquarePants's hands but SquarePants slips his arm to the side and lands an elbow.
SquarePants working some ground and pound from close in. He's looking to maintain this position and strike for a while by the looks of things... although he'll probably advance to full mount in a minute now I've said that.
SquarePants looks towards his corner to check for any instructions. The corner give him nothing to work with, so he cracks Heilemo with a short hammerfist. I guess that's as good as any advice he could get in this position.
Heilemo looks like he's trying to stand up.
SquarePants seems very keen to just sit and control from half guard but Heilemo does not like that idea so much and is remaining active off his back.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
SquarePants frees up his trapped foot and advances to mount.
SquarePants landing strikes from the mount and Heilemo is in trouble!
SquarePants lands a big shot there that rocks Heilemo but he's holding on and managing to survive for now.
SquarePants punishing his opponent with strikes.
Heilemo takes a big shot to the head but keeps on trying to improve his position.
Heilemo is in all sorts of trouble here.
SquarePants putting on the heat here with some good ground and pound!
SquarePants lands a heavy elbow.
Heilemo is in a horrible position here. SquarePants smacks him with another shot as he tries to escape the position.
SquarePants dominating with strikes here.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Heilemo is in a horrible position here. SquarePants smacks him with another shot as he tries to escape the position.
This has been an exciting period of action!
SquarePants scores with a couple of good head shots there.
SquarePants in mount throwing good strikes here, bouncing his opponent's head off the canvas.
A nice elbow there by SquarePants.
SquarePants lands with some strikes.
SquarePants dominating with strikes here.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
SquarePants lands a couple of nice shots there from mount.
Heilemo tries to hold on but SquarePants pushes him away.
Jyrkki Heilemo has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
Heilemo is bucking up trying to escape but SquarePants cracks him with another couple of good strikes.

And that's the end of the fight!
Sponge SquarePants showed his dominance in that final round.
Well I reckon that's a shut out for SquarePants, winning every round. Will the judges agree? They are the ones who matter, even if they are often depressingly incompetent. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 5 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Matti Vanhoillinen scores the fight 50:43
Judge Roosa Järviläinen scores the fight 50:43
Judge Ben Zyskovitsi scores the fight 50:43

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Sponge SquarePants!
Sponge SquarePants is the new light heavyweight champion!