PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a welterweight MMA rules bout between Arsene Wenger (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Billy Bitchslap (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Over to our ring announcer for the fighter introductions!

Wenger
vs
Bitchslap

177 cm
22
164 lbs
2 - 1 - 0

185 cm
20
180 lbs
1 - 0 - 0

BJJ Blue Belt
Counter striker
Good chin

BJJ White Belt
Decent boxing
Determined

Extremely Crazy MMA gear
Kitsura Clothing Ltd

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the welterweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 2 - 1 - 0, fighting out of London, Arsene Wenger!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 1 - 0 - 0, fighting out of London, Billy Bitchslap!
The judges for this bout are James Glass, Donald Grub and Daniel Bishop.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!

Bitchslap clinches.
Bitchslap wants to break free. God knows he wants to breaaaak freeee.

Bitchslap escapes the clinch and we're back to striking.

Wenger shoots in for a takedown and gets it. Let's see what he's got on the mat.
Wenger pressing down on his opponent's thigh, looking to pass guard. Bitchslap is keeping the position for now.
Wenger trying to control but Bitchslap is working from the bottom.
Bitchslap is trying to stand up but he's not managed so far.
Wenger wants to control from the top but Bitchslap keeps moving.

Wenger stands and steps away. Bitchslap gets to his feet too and we're back to the striking game.
Wenger lands with a cross to side of his opponent's head.
Bitchslap has his takedown stuffed

and Wenger counters with a shoot takedown. Bitchslap fights it but they end up in guard.
Wenger keeps in close for a moment and lands a decent shot to the side of Bitchslap's head.
Wenger trying to pass the guard but can't manage it just yet.
Wenger passes Bitchslap's left leg - he's now in half guard.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Wenger working the head and body with strikes.
Wenger wants to lay and pray for a moment but Bitchslap keeps working.
Wenger takes a deep breath and rests his weight momentarily on top of his opponent, to control the position.
Bitchslap moves into full guard.
Wenger is stalling in the full guard.
Wenger missing there with some ground and pound from the guard.
Bitchslap is looking to get back to his feet but can't, whilst Wenger is controlling him.
Bitchslap trying to control the position.
Wenger has been looking to land a fair amount of strikes on the ground. He might be looking to soften his opponent up in order to work for a submission.
Bitchslap looks gassed!
Wenger is working the ground and pound from guard. He might want to try advancing position though to get more of an impact.
Wenger sitting in guard here, content to control.
Bitchslap wants to stand but Wenger is controlling the position.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Bitchslap tries to land a sweep but no joy.

Neither fighter is doing enough for the referee's liking and he's decided to stand them back up.

Wenger closes the distance and gets a double leg, slamming Bitchslap to the mat! Bitchslap manages to get full guard.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Wenger trying to control the position from guard on top but Bitchslap is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Bitchslap looking to sweep using the butterfly guard but Wenger puts pay to that idea as he passes nicely into half guard.

Wenger is trying to work for a kimura. He's got his hands clasped together - this could be trouble! No, Bitchslap has managed to free his arm - good work.
Wenger lands strikes from half guard.
Bitchslap is staying active underneath Wenger, who seems content to just control the action from this position.
Bitchslap is in trouble now - Wenger has advanced to mount!
Bitchslap tries to lock up and control but Wenger gives him a forearm to the face and pushes him away.
The crowd growing excited in anticipation of a finish here! Right on cue, Wenger cracks his opponent with a massive right hand that draws loud cheers!
Bitchslap keeping his composure momentarily, calmly looking to get back to half guard.

Wenger is standing up out of mount! Strange tactic there - he must really want this one on the feet!
Bitchslap circles away from the clinch attempt.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Bitchslap wants to clinch up but Wenger keeps it at a distance.
Wenger is looking to take this fight into the clinch.
Bitchslap swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Wenger scores with a punch to the head.

Bitchslap gets caught flat footed, as Wenger shoots in with a quick takedown into guard.
Bitchslap really doesn't want to stay on the ground with Wenger. If he can't get it back to his feet, it's only a matter of time before he'll be tapping out.
Wenger wants to control from the top but Bitchslap keeps moving.
Bitchslap avoiding any damage from the ground and pound.
Wenger passes easily into side control. Nice work.
Wenger tries to advance to mount but can't.
Wenger is staying tight to Bitchslap's torso, preventing him from escaping.

Wenger is looking for a kimura. He might have it! No, Bitchslap has escaped the position, nice work there.
Bitchslap is not in a great position here, taking some shots.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Wenger throwing shots but missing, from side control.
Bitchslap takes a big shot right to the temple there but he's taken it well.
Wenger lands a knee to the body and a forearm to the face.
Bitchslap is looking to regain half guard here but Wenger keeps moving and retains side control.

Wenger wants to work for a kimura but he's foiled early by Bitchslap, who protects the arm well.
Bitchslap is trying to get back to half guard.
Bitchslap keeping his opponent close.
Wenger looking to control but instead Bitchslap has slipped a leg in, to regain half guard.
The crowd applaud the fighters efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Bitchslap won't allow Wenger to pass to mount.
Bitchslap is trying to maintain the position but Wenger is very close to passing his half guard.
Wenger with a momentary lay and pray from half guard.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Arsene Wenger dominated that round.
OK. That's time! The bell goes and we're back to the action.

Bitchslap misses with a jab and misses with a cross straight after too.
Bitchslap lands a jab followed by a nice looking cross.
Billy Bitchslap seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Bitchslap lands a jab, followed by a cross and another cross, as Wenger backs up against the cage.

Bitchslap looking for a takedown here - he's got it.
Wenger manages to sweep nicely, so he's now on top. Bitchslap manages to get himself to full guard.
Bitchslap is pulling down on Wenger's head to control his posture.
It really doesn't seem like the step up in weight is hurting Wenger here at all. He's more than holding his own against the bigger man.
Bitchslap looking to hit a scissor sweep but Wenger is one step ahead there.

Wenger drops back for a leg! It's a sloppy attempt though and Wenger jumps back into guard quickly, to retain the dominant position.
Both fighters are absolutely exhausted here.

Wenger decides to stand up and beckons his opponent to follow.
Bitchslap throws a head kick but Wenger moves out of range.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Bitchslap with a poor takedown

and Wenger counters with a nice double leg into side control. Bitchslap won't be happy with that.
Bitchslap stops Wenger from passing to mount.
Bitchslap struggling a bit here.
Bitchslap might have to switch it up a bit here because his efforts to control Wenger kaven't been going to plan, at least at the current moment in time.
Bitchslap tries to buck Wenger off but Wenger is having none of it.

Wenger decides to take the fight back to the feet.
Bitchslap tries to clinch

and Wenger counters with a nice double leg into half guard.
Wenger is looking to advance position but Bitchslap won't allow it.
Wenger works his way into side control.

Wenger stands up.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!

Wenger changes levels and drives through with a really nice takedown into side control. Bitchslap looks really pissed at himself for not defending that better.
Wenger cracks Bitchslap with an elbow. That is naaassty.
Bitchslap struggling a bit here.
Wenger lands a nice forearm strike.
Bitchslap is letting Wenger control him for a moment.
Wenger advances to full mount.
Bitchslap in a bad spot here, taking shots to the head.
Bitchslap in a bad spot here, taking shots to the head.
Wenger pausing momentarily but resumes with a couple of decent strikes that do a bit of damage.
Bitchslap is controlling an arm, preventing Wenger from taking his back. Although keeping him in mount is no better to be honest.

Wenger has control of Bitchslap's right arm, working for a kimura. It's a bit of a token attempt though and Bitchslap regains control of the situation pretty easily.
Bitchslap taking shots to the head.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Wenger landing shots from mount.
Bitchslap is looking to get to half guard.
Bitchslap is persisting with the attempt to improve his position.
Wenger lands a couple of nice shots there from mount.
Bitchslap is trying desperately to improve position.
Wenger thuds his fist into the canvas! Oooouch!
Bitchslap is working to get back to half guard.
Wenger wants to control the pace but Bitchslap is squirming around nicely.
Bitchslap is desperately trying to get back to half guard.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
A lull in the action here being met with boos from the crowd.
Wenger tries to control but Bitchslap wriggling away.
Wenger throwing strikes here but Bitchslap is writhing around nicely and avoiding any serious damage.
Bitchslap working to try and regain half guard.

Wenger jumps to side control looking for an arm triangle but Bitchslap manages to avoid the submission attempt.

The referee has ruled that neither fighter is active enough on the ground and has stood them back up.
Jab, cross, leg kick. Nice combination by Bitchslap!

Wenger looking for a takedown here - he's got it.
Wenger advances to half guard.
Nice strikes from Wenger there.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Wenger is figuring out what he wants to do next.
Arsene Wenger overall seems to be getting the better of the ground position in the fight so far.
Bitchslap is trying to stand up here but Wenger is controlling him well.
Wenger is trying to control the action in half guard but Bitchslap is working away on the bottom, looking perhaps to get back to full guard.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Arsene Wenger dominated that second round.
The minute break is over - no more time for sponges and pep talks - back to the action! The crowd applaud as we get ready to start the final round!

Wenger dodges the punch combination from Bitchslap.

Bitchslap moves into the clinch.
Bitchslap prevents the takedown attempt.
Bitchslap stops a takedown attempt from Wenger.

Bitchslap drags the fight down to the ground.
Wenger sitting in guard here, content to control.
Wenger working from the guard for now, landing some ground and pound.
Wenger content to strike from guard, landing some decent shots.
Bitchslap keeping moving, preventing Wenger from controlling successfully.
Bitchslap can't keep his opponent in guard - Wenger advances to half guard, no doubt looking to mount.

Wenger decides to return to a standing position.
Wenger misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Bitchslap.
Both fighters are breathing heavily.
Wenger throws an overhand right that lands on Bitchslap's shoulder, as Bitchslap tries to avoid the shot.

Wenger has Bitchslap up against the cage in a clinch.

Bitchslap escapes the clinch and we're back to striking.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Bitchslap blocks a leg kick.
Bitchslap closes the distance but Wenger moves to the side

and Wenger decides to take the opportunity to score a takedown. He's landed in Bitchslap's guard.
Wenger advances to half guard.
Wenger tries to pass the half guard into mount. Bitchslap knows what he's doing though and prevents the attempt.
Bitchslap missing with punches from the bottom.
Wenger is taking a breather. Bitchslap says something to him but it's hard to make out. Perhaps he's telling him to get on with it and actually do something.
Wenger not throwing his punches with enough precision this time.

Wenger is working for submissions here but there's nothing on.
Bitchslap is trying to stand.
Wenger passes to side control.
Wenger has knee on belly and now moves to full mount! Trouble for Bitchslap!
Wenger with shots to the head and body - Bitchslap looks very uncomfortable down there.
A nice elbow there by Wenger.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Wenger with the ground and pound from mount.
Wenger fakes a shot to the body and cracks his opponent in the head. Nice ground and pound there!
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Wenger wants to control the pace but Bitchslap is squirming around nicely.
Wenger is in the full mount, landing strikes.

Bitchslap is rocked!
Bitchslap wants to hold on but Wenger pushes him away.
Wenger scoring with some good ground and pound from mount here. Will he manage to finish Bitchslap?
Bitchslap is still in real trouble! Can Wenger finish him?
Wenger lands a big shot there that rocks Bitchslap but he's holding on and managing to survive for now.
Bitchslap is looking to get to half guard.
Wenger unloading with bombs!
Bitchslap is bucking up trying to escape but Wenger cracks him with another couple of good strikes.
Bitchslap is bucking up trying to escape but Wenger cracks him with another couple of good strikes.
Bitchslap seems to have recovered his senses.
Bitchslap working to try and regain half guard.

Wenger has hold of Bitchslap's left arm, perhaps looking for a submission. The two fighters tussle over control of the isolated limb and Bitchslap manages to get his arm back to his side and away from danger.
Bitchslap is wriggling around trying to escape.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Wenger landing strikes, looking to finish!

Wenger jumps to side control looking for an arm triangle but Bitchslap manages to avoid the submission attempt.
Bitchslap is looking for a sweep.

Wenger wants to work for a kimura but he's foiled early by Bitchslap, who protects the arm well.
Wenger fails to land a wild elbow strike.
Bitchslap is not content to let Wenger control the position.

Wenger decides to stand back up. Wenger steps back and let's Bitchslap get back to his feet.
Bitchslap dances in quickly and lands a nice inside leg kick on Wenger. That did some damage!
Bitchslap throws a leg kick

and Wenger counters with a takedown into side control.
Wenger prevents Bitchslap from escaping the position.
Wenger is really dominating this fight. Is there anything that Bitchslap can do to turn this around?
Wenger scoring with punches from side control.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Wenger scores with a couple of nice shots to the head there. The referee takes a look at Bitchslap to see if he's OK.

That's four minutes gone in the round.

Wenger decides to stand back up.

Bitchslap closes the distance and presses his opponent up against the cage.
Bitchslap works for underhooks and lands a body shot in the process.

Bitchslap pulls guard successfully.

Wenger stands up from Bitchslap's guard - Wenger perhaps looking for a knockout.

Bitchslap feints and then dives in with a takedown. That was a long way out but the feint bought him enough time to close the distance and complete the takedown. Now we'll play guard for a bit and see who can get the better of that position.

Bitchslap stands up from Wenger's guard - Bitchslap perhaps looking for a knockout.

Wenger moves into range and clinches up with Bitchslap.
Billy Bitchslap has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
Wenger tries to score a body lock takedown but Bitchslap shows good agility there to stay on his feet.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Arsene Wenger. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Bitchslap gets underhooks to prevent Wenger's takedown attempt.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Wenger tries to pull guard but can't drag his opponent to the mat. Bitchslap just stands there and leans against the cage.
Bitchslap lands a right hand that snaps the head of Wenger backwards.

Bitchslap breaks the clinch.
Bitchslap is looking to clinch.
Bitchslap throws out a powerful jab.

And that's the end of the fight!
Arsene Wenger showed his dominance in that final round.
Well I reckon that's a shut out for Wenger, winning every round. Will the judges agree? They are the ones who matter, even if they are often depressingly incompetent. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge James Glass scores the fight 30:27
Judge Donald Grub scores the fight 30:27
Judge Daniel Bishop scores the fight 30:27

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Arsene Wenger!