PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Fuck Tard (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Nobuhiko Takada (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). I'm sure you'll be fascinated to know that I was talking to some pointless Z list celebrity before the fight and he thought that Nobuhiko Takada was going to win. Let's see if he was right.

Tard
vs
Takada

200 cm
22
250 lbs
0 - 1 - 0

185 cm
25
227 lbs
0 - 0 - 0

BJJ Blue Belt
Excellent MT
Granite chin

Good takedowns
Brawler
Solid chin

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 0 - 1 - 0, fighting out of Tokyo, Fuck Tard!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 0 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Tokyo, Nobuhiko Takada!
The judges for this bout are Tatsuya Matsuyama, Yasuomi Hirokawa and Yuuki Gou.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Tard scores with a hook to the body. Takada takes a step back and tries to catch his breath.
Tard looks for a takedown here. Will he get it? Takada is fending him off so far but Tard persists. Nope, Takada circles away and we're back to standing.
Takada drops his hands and takes a jab to the jaw for his troubles.
A really sloppy takedown attempt there from Tard.
Takada shoots in but Tard avoids the takedown attempt easily.
Tard doesn't succeed with the takedown

and Takada counters with a single leg into guard. Tard didn't expect that.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Fuck Tard. That's going to take a lot out of him.

Takada thinks about going for a leg but decides against it, in order to maintain the position.

Takada is trying to work a guillotine from the top, or something like that? Don't know how he thinks he's going to get a finish from there.
Tard will have to put a bit more behind his punches if he's going to do any damage from this position.
Tard is working an open guard here, looking to improve his position. No doubt that will leave him open to counters but at least he's being more offensive.

Tard manages to escape and get back to his feet.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Tard tries for a takedown but Takada circles away easily

so Takada counters with a double leg into guard. Good agility.
Tard is breathing heavily.
Tard working a defensive guard here.
Takada content to strike from guard, landing some decent shots.
Tard controls Takada momentarily but Takada frees himself.
Takada working in close now, lands a nice elbow to the side of Tard's head.
Takada slips nicely into half guard.

Takada maintaining the dominant position here and is working for a kimura. He's locked it up! Tard could be in real trouble here! He's trying to wriggle out but Takada has cracked it and Tard is screaming in pain - he's tapped out! Great finish by Takada!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 2:04 of round 1, we have a winner by way of Submission (Kimura). Nobuhiko Takada!