PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a welterweight MMA rules bout between Bernt Porkchop (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and mark stevens (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Porkchop's ring entrance music is that housewives' favourite, Pinball Map. Fingers crossed for an exciting fight - I'm sure both fighters are looking for a nice under the table bonus!

Porkchop
vs
stevens

181 cm
21
180 lbs
4 - 0 - 0

175 cm
24
175 lbs
5 - 1 - 0

BJJ Blue Belt
Solid boxing
Big heart

Good takedowns
Counter striker
Granite chin

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, for the welterweight championship of the world!
Introducing the champion to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 4 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Hilo, Bernt Porkchop!
And introducing the challenger to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 5 - 1 - 0, fighting out of Hilo, mark stevens!
The judges for this bout are , and .

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
The fighters circle momentarily. Porkchop darts into range and connects with a nice straight punch.

Porkchop gets in close and instigates a clinch.
Porkchop lands punches inside but they're not really causing much damage.
stevens looks like he'd prefer to be striking at range right now.
Porkchop lands a shoulder strike.
stevens tries to pull guard but Porkchop holds him up against the ropes and eventually stevens drops back down to his feet.
Porkchop softening up his opponent with strikes, against the ropes.
Porkchop lands a nice uppercut.
Porkchop presses stevens against the ropes and delivers a mid-strength body shot.
With the fighters clinched against the ropes, Porkchop creates a bit of distance for himself and scores with a nice uppercut.
stevens goes for a takedown attempt but Porkchop pushes him away and we're back to fighting at a distance.
Jab, cross, leg kick. Nice combination by Porkchop!

It looks like mark stevens has been cut.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Porkchop throws a series of punches but stevens avoids them all with ease.
stevens shoots in for a takedown. "I don't think so" says Porkchop as he avoids it easily.
Bernt Porkchop has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of mark stevens.
Porkchop keeps the fight standing with a nice sprawl.
stevens takes a shot right to the bread basket.
stevens looks gassed!

That's one minute gone in the round.
stevens slips a straight right by Porkchop.
Bernt Porkchop seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
stevens closes the distance and clinches up with Porkchop, looking for a takedown. stevens pushes Porkchop against the ropes but Porkchop circles to the side and manages to break the clinch.

Porkchop darts in and clinches stevens up against the ropes.
Nice body punch from Porkchop - that landed with a thud.
With the fighters clinched against the ropes, Porkchop creates a bit of distance for himself and scores with a nice uppercut.
Some stalling of biblical proportions here from Porkchop.
stevens is trying to work for a single leg takedown but Porkchop pulls him back up using the underhooks.

Porkchop manages to break the clinch.
Porkchop lands three nice shots there - that looked like it hurt!
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Porkchop misses with a two punch combination.
Porkchop misses with a series of wild punches.
Porkchop leaves stevens with his face pressed against the mat as he sprawls beautifully, defending against a solid takedown attempt.
Porkchop throws a right hand that stevens ducks under and follows up with a left that stevens also avoids with ease.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Porkchop misses with a series of wild punches.
stevens ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.

Porkchop moves into the clinch successfully.
Porkchop looks to throw an elbow but misses.
Porkchop lands a body punch in the clinch.
Porkchop lands with a short shot to the head.
The referee calls for Porkchop to work.
Porkchop lands with a short head shot on the inside.
stevens managing to block the knees to the body from Porkchop.

Porkchop escapes the clinch and we're back to striking.
Bernt Porkchop is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
Porkchop swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Porkchop misses with a jab, cross combination.

stevens gets a takedown into half guard.
Porkchop on his back here. We all know that wrestlers don't like being on their back so let's see if Porkchop tries to get out of the position.
stevens prevents Porkchop from improving his position.

That's three minutes gone in the round.

stevens is trying a forearm choke… I don't think that's going to do much at this level of the game.
Porkchop is trying to stand up here but stevens is controlling him well.

stevens is trying to work for a kimura but Porkchop is defending well.
Porkchop trying to control from the bottom.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
A few boos can be heard. I'm sure they will multiply if the fighters don't pick up the pace.
stevens wants to control but Porkchop is keeping him busy.
The fighters are tangled up in the ropes here. We might need a restart if the fighters can't break free themselves.

Well, the referee has seen enough. Neither fighter is active enough on the ground so he's stood them back up.
Porkchop digs a good hook to stevens's body.
Porkchop displays good takedown defense there as he swats away a double leg from stevens.
Porkchop moves into range and throws a lovely three punch combination.

Porkchop rushes stevens and presses him up against the ropes.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Porkchop lands with a light punch inside.
Porkchop gets underhooks to prevent stevens's takedown attempt.
stevens takes an elbow to the forehead.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Bernt Porkchop dominated that round.
The cut man is working on mark stevens's cut.
The fighters get back to their feet, the hooter sounds and we're back to the action!

Porkchop clinches up with stevens and pushes him back against the ropes.
stevens is trying to drag Porkchop to the mat but Porkchop just about manages to keep his footing. He used the ropes to his advantage there.
Porkchop gets through stevens's defenses to land a nice punch to the side of the head.
Porkchop lands an elbow just above stevens 's eye.
A short right hand to the side of the head by Porkchop.
Porkchop lands an elbow that stopped stevens in his tracks for a moment.
stevens letting Porkchop take a breather here.

Porkchop breaks from the clinch.
stevens fails to land the takedown.
Porkchop misses with a jab, cross combination.
Porkchop keeps the fight standing with a nice sprawl.
Bernt Porkchop has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of mark stevens.
stevens tries for a takedown but Porkchop sees it coming a mile off and avoids it easily.
stevens is breathing heavily.

That's one minute gone in the round.
stevens avoids a punch combination nicely.
Porkchop cracks stevens with an open hand slap.
stevens on the wrong end of a decent looking cross there.
Porkchop misses with a wild combination.
Porkchop changes levels and scores with a jab to the body.
stevens fakes high and shoots in for a takedown but Porkchop avoids it really well and circles away.

stevens shoots in for a takedown and gets it. Let's see what he's got on the mat.
Porkchop knows he needs to get back to his feet asap. He's simply no match for stevens on the ground.
stevens wants to pass the guard but Porkchop is keeping the position.
stevens wants to get up but he can't break Porkchop's closed guard. He needs to be careful trying to break the legs open, as he's open to submissions here.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Porkchop is working an open guard here, looking to improve his position. No doubt that will leave him open to counters but at least he's being more offensive.
Porkchop lands a beautiful switch and he's in full mount! That could spell trouble for stevens!
Porkchop throwing strikes here but stevens is writhing around nicely and avoiding any serious damage.
Porkchop lands a heavy elbow.
stevens is wriggling around trying to escape.
Porkchop looking to finish with strikes here!

That's three minutes gone in the round.

Porkchop moves into side control, trying to work for a kimura. That looks painful! Will he finish!!?? No, stevens has worked his arm free - good work by stevens!
Porkchop throwing shots but missing, from side control.
stevens sneaks back into half guard.
stevens is staying active underneath Porkchop, who seems content to just control the action from this position.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
A lull in the action here being met with boos from the crowd.
stevens gets full guard.
Porkchop loading up with the ground and pound but he's missing more than he's landing in this flurry.

stevens is looking for a triangle but Porkchop pushes his legs off easily.
stevens has Porkchop pulled in close to control his posture.
There's a bit of a scramble here and now stevens is on top in guard.
stevensis looking to pass into half guard but Porkchop pushes him away with his feet and jumps on top - now Porkchop is in guard.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Bernt Porkchop dominated that second round.
The cut man is working on mark stevens's cut.
Well, the break between rounds is over. Let's get back to the scrappin!

stevens has a takedown stuffed.
Porkchop lands with a cross.
stevens fakes high and shoots in for a takedown but Porkchop avoids it really well and circles away.
stevens takes a shot to the eye socket. That's gotta hurt.
stevens closes the distance looking to clinch
and Porkchop counters with a nice uppercut.
Porkchop swings for the body but stevens moves out of range.
Porkchop goes to the watering hole and comes back with a big thumbs up from the judges as he scores a three punch combo.
Porkchop scores with a nice one two combo and darts back out of range to avoid anything coming in the opposite direction.
stevens doesn't succeed with the takedown
and Porkchop counters with a head kick.
Bernt Porkchop has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of mark stevens.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Porkchop lands a two punch combo.
stevens takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.
Porkchop with a body punch. A glancing blow.
Porkchop throws a wild combination but nothing lands.
Porkchop scores with a jab to the jaw of his opponent.
stevens fails with the takedown
and Porkchop counters with a crisp hook to the side of the head.
stevens misses with a takedown attempt
and Porkchop counters with a three punch combination, finished off with a leg kick. Nice work.
Porkchop works over stevens's head and body with a nice combination.
Porkchop fails to land with the punch combination there - jab, cross, hook, miss, miss, miss.
stevens walks straight into an uppercut. Luckily it didn't land flush.
stevens shoots and misses
and Porkchop counters with a left to the body.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Porkchop lands a nice hook to stevens's body. stevens takes it in his stride and looks to land his own strikes.

Porkchop has managed to clinch.
Porkchop lands a short shot on the inside that snaps the head of stevens backwards.
A short body shot lands from Porkchop as the two fighters clinch.
Porkchop lands a nice elbow from the clinch.
stevens takes an elbow to the forehead.
Porkchop lands a hook that snaps the head of stevens backwards.
Porkchop lands punches inside but they're not really causing much damage.
stevens changes levels and goes for a takedown here. Porkchop fights it off and pushes away nicely.
Porkchop misses with a series of wild punches.
Porkchop is really dominating this fight. Is there anything that stevens can do to turn this around?
A combination from Porkchop does no damage.
stevens has his takedown stuffed
letting Porkchop counter with a right hand.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Porkchop throws a combination. stevens tries to block but a couple of punches get through.
The sound of bone on bone echoes around the arena as stevens checks a leg kick.
stevens misses with a takedown

and Porkchop counters by moving into the clinch.
Porkchop scores with a shot to the side of stevens's head.
Porkchop lands an uppercut.
stevens goes for a takedown in the clinch but Porkchop prevents it.
Porkchop manages to get underhooks and slows down the pace for a moment.
Porkchop lands a hook to the body. It's hard to tell if that hurt stevens or not.
Porkchop lands a damaging elbow.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
stevens tries to take the fight to the ground by pulling guard but can't manage it.
Porkchop holding his opponent close, against the ropes.
stevens takes a knee right on the jaw!
Porkchop lands an elbow that stopped stevens in his tracks for a moment.
Porkchop lands punches inside but they're not really causing much damage.
Porkchop lands a hook that snaps the head of stevens backwards.

Porkchop's corner calls for him to break the clinch, which he does.
Porkchop goes to the watering hole and comes back with a big thumbs up from the judges as he scores a three punch combo.
stevens with a lazy takedown attempt

and Porkchop holds on and brings the fighters into a clinch.
A right hand to the body from Porkchop.
stevens drops down looking for an ankle pick but Porkchop pulls his leg out and moves away.
stevens moves forwards but Porkchop connects with a nice, crisp jab.
The crowd applaud the fighters efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Porkchop throws a combination. stevens tries to block but a couple of punches get through.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Bernt Porkchop clearly takes that round.
The cut man is working on mark stevens's cut.
The fighters get back to their feet, the hooter sounds and we're back to the action!

Porkchop gets to the clinch - let's see what his plan is here.
stevens fails to pull the fight into his guard.
Porkchop will no doubt start fighting again in a minute but for now he's just having a little rest, leaning stevens up against the ropes.
A short body shot lands from Porkchop as the two fighters clinch.

Porkchop breaks from the clinch.
stevens takes an uppercut right on the button but keeps his composure.
stevens doesn't succeed with the takedown
and Porkchop counters with a flying knee. Nice.

Porkchop fakes with an overhand right and moves in to clinch with stevens, pushing him back against the ropes.
Porkchop is looking to score with knees to the body. Maybe he'll change it up and go body then head. stevens is defending well for now.

Porkchop breaks the clinch.
Porkchop throws out a loose jab but stevens uses good head movement to avoid it.
stevens tries for a takedown but Porkchop circles away easily
and Porkchop counters with a one-two to the body.
Bernt Porkchop has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of mark stevens.
It's got to the stage where if one of these guys blows hard enough, the other might fall over.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Porkchop looks to land a combination but stevens avoids it well.
Bernt Porkchop is winning the standup battle so far.
Porkchop lands a jab to the head.
Porkchop scores with a nice one two combo and darts back out of range to avoid anything coming in the opposite direction.
A head kick misses from Porkchop.

Porkchop moves into the clinch.

Porkchop pushes off and circles away, back to the middle of the mat.

Porkchop gets taken down but at least he's managed to land in guard.

stevens postures up as if he's going to throw some strikes but drops back for an ankle! Porkchop is in big trouble! He looks ready to tap! But no, he's escaped and dives on top of stevens, into his guard.
Porkchop lands a couple of elbows.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
stevens preventing the ground and pound from doing any damage.
Porkchop postures up to throw the ground and pound strikes but they don't connect.
Porkchop trying to land body shots but he keeps hitting the mat.
Porkchop loading up with the ground and pound but he's missing more than he's landing in this flurry.

Porkchop avoids a guillotine attempt easily.
Porkchop stopping the sweep attempt from stevens.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Porkchop lands a couple of elbows.
stevens trying to control the position.

stevens has butterfly guard. He's looking to stand up here. He pushes Porkchop off him and springs to his feet nicely. The crowd applauds.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are hurling abuse towards the fighters... You can hardly blame them though because there isn't a lot going on in the fight.
stevens wants to clinch
and Porkchop counters with a left and a right that stings stevens.
A punch combination from Porkchop misses.
stevens shoots and misses
and Porkchop counters with a series of strikes. stevens will be more careful next time no doubt.
stevens has his takedown stuffed

and Porkchop counters into the clinch. Nicely done.
A quick uppercut on the inside from Porkchop.
stevens has a pretty nasty looking mouse under his right eye.
A nice left hand lands by Porkchop.
Porkchop scores with a shoulder strike.
Porkchop working on landing some head shots here - that one got through nicely.

Porkchop breaks the clinch.
Porkchop throws a combination but it was largely blocked by stevens.
Porkchop works over stevens's head and body with a nice combination.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Bernt Porkchop had his way with mark stevens in that round.
The cut man is working on mark stevens's cut.
That's the end of the round. The referee orders the cornermen out of the ring so we can get back down to business. This is the final round!

Porkchop swings away but doesn't land with a series of punches.
Porkchop lands a jab.
Porkchop clobbers stevens with an overhand right that has the crowd gasping. That made a horrendous noise.
stevens darts in trying to clinch
and Porkchop cracks him with a counter punch right on the button.
stevens tries to clinch
and Porkchop makes him pay by landing a nice hook to the body before moving out of range.
stevens tries for a takedown but Porkchop circles away easily
and Porkchop counters with a right hand to the body.
Porkchop looks to land a left hand but stevens moved out of range nicely.
stevens takes a punch to the jaw and another one to the bread basket.
Both of our modern day gladiators look out of it here - an gruelling 5 rounds of action taking it's toll on them, no doubt.
This fight brought to you by 5M nutrition - it's mmmmm tasty. Nice jab by Porkchop.

That's one minute gone in the round.
stevens with a poor takedown

and Porkchop counters by moving into the clinch. Good anticipation by Porkchop.
Porkchop lands with a short head shot on the inside.
Porkchop pushes stevens back against the ropes and lands a hook to the side of the head.
Nice elbow from Porkchop.

Porkchop pushes off and circles away, back to the middle of the mat.
stevens with a poor takedown
and Porkchop counters with a shot to the ribs. That looked like it hurt.
Bernt Porkchop has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of mark stevens.
Porkchop lands with a two punch combination before moving back out of range.
stevens avoids the head kick by Porkchop.
Porkchop will need to tighten up his combinations if he doesn't want to gas himself out, swinging at thin air.
Porkchop lands three nice shots there - that looked like it hurt!
Jab, cross, leg kick. Nice combination by Porkchop!
Porkchop throws a jab but it's blocked by stevens.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Porkchop misses with a straight right.
Porkchop will need to tighten up his combinations if he doesn't want to gas himself out, swinging at thin air.
stevens dodges the punch combination from Porkchop.
stevens misses with a takedown attempt

and Porkchop counters by moving into the clinch.
stevens jumps guard but Porkchop stands there with stevens around his waist. stevens gives up and drops back to his feet. We remain in the clinch.
Porkchop scores with a shoulder strike.
Porkchop throws a punch but it's blocked by stevens.
stevens is the more experienced fighter here and he's going to need to draw on some of that experience if he's going to pull this one out the bag.
A right hook to the body lands for Porkchop.
Porkchop missing with knees to the body.
A short right hand to the side of the head by Porkchop.
Porkchop fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
stevens changes levels and goes for a takedown here. Porkchop fights it off and pushes away nicely.
Porkchop scores with a jab.
Bernt Porkchop is fighting for a decision here - he's started to take the cautious approach.

That's three minutes gone in the round.

stevens feints and then dives in with a takedown. That was a long way out but the feint bought him enough time to close the distance and complete the takedown. Now we'll play guard for a bit and see who can get the better of that position.
stevens trying to control but Porkchop is working from the bottom.

stevens drops back, looking for a kneebar! Porkchop looks panicked! The fighters roll across the mat, one looking to finish, one looking to escape. Porkchop looks to have wriggled free... Yes, he's got his leg free and he's dived into side control! Good work there from Porkchop!
stevens takes a couple of big shots there - the referee warns him that he has to defend himself better.
stevens manages to land a sweep and he's now on top! Lovely Jiu Jitsu!

That's four minutes gone in the round.
stevens prevents Porkchop from improving his position.
stevens is figuring out what he wants to do next.
Porkchop pushes stevens off looking to stand but stevens dives back in and keeps control.

stevens is thinking about going for an arm triangle but he can't free his leg.
stevens thumps the canvas. Not on purpose obviously - he just missed Porkchop's head.
Porkchop trying to control from the bottom.

And that's the end of the fight!
Bernt Porkchop showed his dominance in that final round.
Well I reckon that's a shut out for Porkchop, winning every round. Will the judges agree? They are the ones who matter, even if they are often depressingly incompetent. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 5 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Andi Peters scores the fight for Bernt Porkchop!
Judge Gordon Ramsey scores the fight for Bernt Porkchop!
Judge Frank Skinner scores the fight for Bernt Porkchop!

Bernt Porkchop wins by unanimous decision!
Bernt Porkchop is the new welterweight champion!