PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a super heavyweight MMA rules bout between Eric Cartman (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Mikael Samoth (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Cartman's entrance music is Kyle's Mom a B!^(H. A fine choice. Samoth has chosen Judas Priest - Painkiller as his entrance music. The key to victory for Eric Cartman has got to be keeping the fight on the feet.

Cartman
vs
Samoth

200 cm
23
300 lbs
11 - 2 - 0

192 cm
26
295 lbs
10 - 3 - 0

BJJ Purple Belt
World class boxer
Very strong

Good wrestler
Excellent boxer
Powerful

▲Rage Fight Gear - As Low As $4

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, for the super heavyweight championship of the world!
Introducing the champion to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 11 - 2 - 0, fighting out of Tokyo, Eric Cartman!
And introducing the challenger to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 10 - 3 - 0, fighting out of Tokyo, Mikael Samoth!
The judges for this bout are Yasuomi Hirokawa, Sosuke Kotani and Shigeki Fujiwara.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Cartman connects with a right hand. Samoth shakes it off.
Cartman jabbing away but nothing is landing.
Cartman misses with a hook. Samoth ducked under it nicely.
Samoth scores with a leg kick.
Cartman throws a jab but it's blocked by Samoth.
A swing and a miss from Cartman.
Cartman looks to land a left hand but Samoth moved out of range nicely.
Cartman takes a swing at Samoth's ribcage but misses.
Samoth throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Samoth misses with an uppercut. Cartman saw that one coming.
Samoth displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Cartman throws out the jab.
Cartman bobs and weaves and throws out a fast jab that snaps Samoth's head backwards.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Cartman looks to score with a jab to the body but Samoth is just out of range.
Cartman on the wrong end of a vicious looking body shot.
Samoth pivots, looking for a leg kick but Cartman is out of range and Samoth settles back down.
Nice defenses there by Samoth.
Cartman cracks Samoth with an open hand slap.
Cartman scores with a nice right hand.
Samoth fakes with the hands and throws a leg kick but Cartman is out of range.
Cartman swings away but doesn't land with a series of punches.
A shot to the body from Samoth misses
and Cartman counters with a straight right hand.
Samoth fails with a takedown attempt.

That's two minutes gone in the round.

Samoth clinches with his opponent.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Samoth works for underhooks and lands a body shot in the process.
Samoth has Cartman pressed up against the cage and is working for takedown. Cartman manages to improve position though and keeps the fight standing.
Cartman pushes Samoth back against the cage and unloads with a body punch.
Samoth tries to work over Cartman's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.

Cartman breaks the clinch and we return to the middle of the mat.
Cartman misses with a hook. Samoth ducked under it nicely.

Samoth shoots in and bounces Cartman off the cage to secure the takedown into guard.
Cartman keeping moving, preventing Samoth from controlling successfully.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Cartman pulls Samoth in to control the position.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Samoth trying to control the position from guard on top but Cartman is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
If this pace continues, the referee will definitely step in and force a standup.
Samoth passes into half guard.
Samoth tries to pass the half guard into mount. Cartman knows what he's doing though and prevents the attempt.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
A few boos can be heard. I'm sure they will multiply if the fighters don't pick up the pace.
Samoth moves nicely into side control.
Cartman dodges the ground and pound from Samoth.

Samoth goes for an armbar! This could be all over! Wait, no, Cartman rolls with the submission and now he's on top in Samoth's guard! Nice work there by Cartman!
Samoth trying to keep a closed guard but Cartman is proving a slippery customer.
The crowd applaud the fighters efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Samoth keeping full guard, as Cartman tries to pass.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Eric Cartman dominated that round.
OK. That's time! The bell goes and we're back to the action.

Samoth drives through with a takedown into guard.
Cartman pulls Samoth in to control the position.
Samoth seems content to control from guard here. He's going to have to remain active though if he doesn't want to get stood back up.
Cartman looking to sweep here. No luck so far.
Samoth trying to control but Cartman is working from the bottom.
Samoth is looking to work some ground and pound but Cartman has wrist control.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Samoth trying to control but Cartman is working from the bottom.
If this pace continues, the referee will definitely step in and force a standup.

OK we're going to have a standup here. Mikael Samoth hasn't been effective enough on the ground and the referee wants a restart.
A looping hook to the body misses from Samoth. Cartman does a little dance to reset his feet.
Samoth misses with a shot to the body
and Cartman counters with a lovely straight right hand!
Cartman stooping low to avoid any incoming strikes and then lunges in with an uppercut come cross that lands flush.
The sound of bone on bone echoes around the arena as Cartman checks a leg kick.
Eric Cartman is winning the standup battle so far.
Samoth lands a beauty of a right hand that gets the crowd cheering.
Samoth takes a punch to the jaw and another one to the bread basket.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Cartman tries to bum rush Samoth with a series of wild strikes but Samoth uses good footwork to avoid the assault.
Cartman is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Samoth.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
A punch combination from Cartman misses.
Cartman misses with a telegraphed body shot
and Samoth counters with a slapping leg kick.
Samoth throws a right hand that Cartman ducks under and follows up with a left that Cartman also avoids with ease.
Samoth slips under a jab.
Oooooooooooh, not good. A low kick from Cartman lands where it shouldn't have, right in the... well, you know what he did? He kicked him in the penis. He's injured, injured bad. The referee sends both fighters to their corners and Samoth has 5 minutes to recover. He's OK now though... a thumbs up from Samoth and we're back underway with a touch of gloves.
Samoth throws a decent looking leg kick but it doesn't land clean.
Cartman swings wildly with a couple of big hooks
and Samoth counters with a right hand to the body.
Both fighters are absolutely exhausted here.
Jab from Samoth.
Cartman misses with a looping right.
Eric Cartman is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Cartman throws a looping overhand right but Samoth ducks down to avoid it.
Cartman thows a body shot but no joy.
Samoth tries to shoot in for a takedown. He's got hold of a leg but Cartman swivels and escapes.
Cartman on the wrong end of a nice jab.
Samoth wants to clinch.
Cartman throws a lazy right hand but Samoth sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
A really sloppy takedown attempt there from Samoth.
Cartman displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Samoth throws out the jab.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Cartman throws the left hand but Samoth avoids the punch easily.
Eric Cartman seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Samoth paws at his opponent with the jab and then lunges in with a straight, right on the button.
Samoth lands with a nice body punch.

Samoth closes the distance and pushes Cartman back into the cage.
A frustrated look appears on Samoth's face as he tries to break the clinch.

Cartman's corner calls for him to break the clinch, which he does.
Cartman is really head hunting here, hardly looking to strike to the body at all.
Cartman loads up on a big right hand but Samoth slips the punch.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Cartman throws an overhand right that lands on Samoth's shoulder, as Samoth tries to avoid the shot.
Cartman thows a left - swing and a miss!
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Mikael Samoth showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
The corners get their ten second warning. Both fighters stand from their stools and stare eachother down, ready to get back to the action.

Cartman throws a shot from downtown. Samoth moves away and avoids it.
Cartman misses with a hook.
Cartman thows a body shot but no joy.
Samoth thows a left - swing and a miss!
Cartman misses with a telegraphed body shot

and Samoth counters with a nice double leg into guard.
Samoth's corner is telling him to maintain position.
Cartman keeping moving, preventing Samoth from controlling successfully.
Samoth trying to pass the guard but can't manage it just yet.
Samoth postures up.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Cartman keeping moving, preventing Samoth from controlling successfully.
The referee is asking the fighters to pick up the pace.
Samoth stands and throws Cartman's legs to the side, diving into side control.
Samoth laying and praying for a moment but Cartman takes advantage and regains half guard.
Samoth throwing punches and elbows but they're not doing any damage.
Samoth is looking to advance position but Cartman won't allow it.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are showing their displeasure at the lack of action as loud boos ring out around the arena.
Samoth trying to control from half guard but Cartman is working away.
Samoth sitting in half guard, looking to land shots. Cartman defending well though.
Samoth sitting in half guard, looking to land shots. Cartman defending well though.
Cartman trying to control from the bottom.
Samoth not throwing his punches with enough precision this time.
The referee walks around the fighters to get a better view of the action. Samoth lands a nice short elbow.
Samoth is looking to stall here but Cartman recovers full guard.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Samoth trying to control but Cartman is working from the bottom.
Samothis looking to pass into half guard but Cartman pushes him away with his feet and jumps on top - now Cartman is in guard.
Cartman wants to control from the top but Samoth keeps moving.
Samoth is trying to control the position but Cartman postures up.
Samoth tries to land a sweep but no joy.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are getting on the fighters' backs, as the pace has dropped off in the last minute or so.
Samoth is looking to sweep but instead, Cartman has passed into half guard.

Samoth looking to work for a kimura from the bottom.
Samoth is looking to improve his position.

Samoth looking to work for a kimura from the bottom.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
Cartman works his way into side control.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Mikael Samoth really dominated that round.
The minute break is over - no more time for sponges and pep talks - back to the action!

Cartman throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Cartman looks to land a right hand but Samoth moved out of range.
Samoth waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Cartman.
Samoth lands an overhand right.
Cartman dodges the punch combination from Samoth.
Samoth displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Cartman throws out the jab.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Cartman misses with a body shot.
Samoth tries to clinch up but Cartman circles away and keeps his distance.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Samoth throws a jab but it's blocked by Cartman.
Cartman slips a straight right by Samoth.
Cartman moves out of range as Samoth strikes.
Cartman takes a thudding leg kick, right into the meat of the thigh.
Samoth ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Cartman moves away.
Some wild striking there from Cartman.
Samoth with a hook.
Cartman bobbing and weaving, closes the distance and lands a hook to the side of Samoth's head.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Cartman cracks a nice hook into Samoth's ribs.
A clash of legs there as Cartman blocks the low kick.
Cartman misses the jab.
Samoth misses with a double jab
and Cartman counters with a right hand to the body.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Samoth connects with a nice looking jab.
Cartman avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Cartman looks to score with a jab to the body but Samoth is just out of range.
Cartman attempts a low kick but it misses it's target.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Samoth checks a leg kick nicely.
Cartman takes a body punch but keeps moving.
Samoth swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Samoth scores with a crisp jab that stopped Cartman in his tracks.
Samoth moves out of range of the strikes.
Cartman scores with a decent looking hook.
Samoth just misses with a punch to the body.
Cartman misses with a hook. Samoth ducked under it nicely.
Cartman thows a body shot but no joy.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Cartman throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
Samoth ducks low and lands a nice hook to the body of his opponent.
Cartman throws the left hand but Samoth avoids the punch easily.
Cartman works Samoth's body with a nice hook.
Samoth shoots for a takedown but Cartman saw that one coming a mile off and avoided it easily.
Samoth is moving around nicely and scores here with a single head shot.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
The crowd applaud the fighters efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Samoth closes the distance and clinches up with Cartman, looking for a takedown. Samoth pushes Cartman against the cage but Cartman circles to the side and manages to break the clinch.
Cartman misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Samoth.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Eric Cartman had his way with Mikael Samoth in that round.
The minute break is over - no more time for sponges and pep talks - back to the action! This is the final round!

Cartman fakes a jab and then connects with a hook.
Cartman scores with a reasonable looking shot to the body. Samoth doesn't seem bothered though.
Samoth moves out of range as Cartman strikes.
The crowd cheers as Cartman lands an impressive looking overhand right. Samoth doesn't seem phased though.
Samoth walks into a stiff left hand from Cartman.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Cartman stooping low to avoid any incoming strikes and then lunges in with an uppercut come cross that lands flush.
Cartman cracks Samoth with a nice right hand that draws applause from the crowd.
A telegraphed right hand from Cartman misses the target.
Samoth is wobbling all over the place through exhaustion. Will he make it to the final bell?
Cartman keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Samoth.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Samoth blocks a jab.
Samoth getting the better of the striking in that exchange.
Cartman lands with a two punch combination before moving back out of range.
Samoth tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Cartman was well out of range. Poor timing from Samoth.
Cartman throws a hook to the side of Samoth's head but Samoth sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
Cartman works Samoth's body with a nice hook.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Cartman throws an overhand right that lands on Samoth's shoulder, as Samoth tries to avoid the shot.
Cartman throws an overhand right that lands on Samoth's shoulder, as Samoth tries to avoid the shot.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Samoth slips under a jab.
Cartman misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Samoth.
Samoth clinches but Cartman breaks the clinch
and Cartman counters with a right hand to the body.
Cartman attempts a low kick but it misses it's target.
Samoth slips under a jab from Cartman.
Samoth moves away from the strike by Cartman.
Samoth scores with a body shot.
Samoth fails with a rather predictable takedown attempt.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Cartman throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Cartman misses with a straight left.
Cartman is moving around nicely and scores here with a single head shot.
Cartman fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Samoth manages to avoid it.
Cartman swings wildly with a couple of big hooks
and Samoth counters with a right hand to the body.
Cartman missing with a left hand there. Samoth was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
Cartman throws a lazy right hand but Samoth sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Samoth takes a shot to the eye socket. That's gotta hurt.
Cartman throws a body punch but Samoth moves out of range.
Cartman is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Samoth.
Cartman missing with a left hand there. Samoth was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
The fighters circling - Cartman throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Samoth looks for the body kick but Cartman saw that one coming.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Samoth uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Cartman.
Cartman jabbing away but nothing is landing.
Cartman throws a big shot that misses.

And that's the end of the fight!
Eric Cartman showed his dominance in that final round.
I think Cartman has won this one but let's see what the judges have to say. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 5 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Yasuomi Hirokawa scores the fight 48:47
Judge Sosuke Kotani scores the fight 48:47
Judge Shigeki Fujiwara scores the fight 48:47

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Eric Cartman!
Eric Cartman is the new super heavyweight champion!