PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between Radio Raheem (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Jack Off (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). I'm sure you'll be fascinated to know that I was talking to some pointless Z list celebrity before the fight and he thought that Jack Off was going to win. Let's see if he was right.

Raheem
vs
Off

190 cm
26
212 lbs
4 - 1 - 0

185 cm
26
210 lbs
3 - 3 - 0

BJJ White Belt
Excellent boxer
KO power

Good takedowns
Basic striking
Granite chin

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the light heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 4 - 1 - 0, fighting out of New York, Radio Raheem!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 3 - 3 - 0, fighting out of New York, Jack Off!
The judges for this bout are Bruno Lombardi, Anthony Taglia and Russell Pearce.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Off avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Off steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Raheem.

Off fakes an overhand right and shoots for a takedown. Raheem sprawls well initially but Off persists and gets the takedown into half guard.
The fighters are tangled up in the ropes here. We might need a restart if the fighters can't break free themselves.
Off thumps the canvas. Not on purpose obviously - he just missed Raheem's head.
Off has the superior BJJ but he's also working some ground strikes into his gameplan.
Ground and pound from Off.
Off thows a wild elbow that connects with the canvas.

Off looking for a kimura but he'll have to free his other leg if he wants to finish that. Perhaps he's just using it as a distraction technique.
Raheem blocking the ground and pound attempt from Off.

Off is working for a submission of some sort.
Off missing with the ground and pound from half guard.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Off works his way into side control.

Off is looking to finish here, going for an Americana. Raheem knows the correct defense though, so he's OK.
Raheem on his back here. We all know that wrestlers don't like being on their back so let's see if Raheem tries to get out of the position.

Off tries for a kimura. Not really close to a finish though.

Off thinks about going for a far side armbar but bails out and retains the dominant position instead.

That's two minutes gone in the round.

Off is in a dominant position here, looking for a kimura. Raheem looks calm but he's in trouble here. Off gets his leg over his opponent's head and yanks on the arm. Raheem is tapping like a morse code operator on the titanic! SOS! SOS! Off lets go of the hold and Raheem can pop his arm back in it's socket.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 2:35 of round 1, we have a winner by way of Submission (Kimura). Jack Off!