PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a super heavyweight MMA rules bout between Eric Cartman (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and John Wayne (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). John Wayne has the better chin. Will he look to stand and bang today?

Cartman
vs
Wayne

165 cm
23
150 lbs
8 - 4 - 0

215 cm
27
304 lbs
8 - 0 - 0

Good wrestling
Lethal high kicks
Very strong

Decent wrestler
World class boxer
Heavy handed

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the super heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 8 - 4 - 0, fighting out of New York, Eric Cartman!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 8 - 0 - 0, fighting out of St Petersburg, John Wayne!
The judges for this bout are Igor Prikhodko, Dmitry Maklakov and Sergei Dronov.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Wayne ducks under a wild hook from Cartman.
Cartman throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
A bone on bone clash there as Wayne blocks the leg kick.
Wayne keeping at a good range here, avoiding a leg kick.
Cartman throws a lazy uppercut
and Wayne counters with a shot to the ribs. That looked like it hurt.
Cartman throws a hook to the side of Wayne's head but Wayne sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
Wayne ducks under a wild hook from Cartman.
Cartman throws a push kick but Wayne slaps the foot to one side.
Cartman throws a quick inside leg kick.
Wayne lunges at Cartman with a hook that half lands and is half blocked by Cartman's hand.
Cartman throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
Cartman misses with a right hand
and Wayne counters with a quick right hand to the jaw.
Good shot there by Wayne.
Cartman misses the jab.
Cartman throws a jab but it's blocked by Wayne.
Wayne is using his reach advantage to land shots from outside his opponent's range.
Thud! ouch! good body kick from Cartman - that will leave a mark!
Wayne misses with a straight left.
Cartman misses with a right hand
and Wayne counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
Cartman throws a body kick but he was well out of range there.
Wayne tries to check the leg kick but that clearly hurt him.
Wayne looks gassed!
Cartman misses with a wild body shot.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Cartman throws an ugly left hook that misses
and Wayne counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
Cartman throws out a powerful jab.
Cartman with a jab.
Cartman throws a poor cross that misses
letting Wayne counter with a right hand.
Cartman throws a head kick that misses.
Wayne avoids a punch combination nicely.
Wayne moves out of range of the body kick.
Some wild striking there from Cartman.
Cartman misses with an uppercut
and Wayne counters with a left and a right that stings Cartman.
Cartman swings widly with a right hand
letting Wayne counter with a right hand.
Wayne defending well as Cartman loads up on a big left hand.
Wayne takes a jab right on the nose. That must have hurt but he shrugs his shoulders and looks to return the favor.
Eric Cartman seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Wayne connects with a looping right hand.
A left lands for Cartman.
Wayne takes a big uppercut there. He seems a bit wobbly but no, he's OK.
Wayne takes one on the chin but keeps coming.
Cartman dips down and scores with a jab to the body.
Cartman misses with a left hand
and Wayne counters with a right hand to the body.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Cartman takes a swing at Wayne's ribcage but misses.
Cartman jabs Wayne to the body, keeping him at a distance.
Wayne slips a straight right by Cartman.
Cartman misses with a wild body shot.
Wayne with poor footwork there. He got himself in a bit of a tangle, enabling Cartman to score with a decent uppercut.
Cartman throws a hook to the side of Wayne's head but Wayne sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
Cartman misses with a hook
and Wayne connects with a straight left hand counter down the middle.
Cartman throws a sloppy head kick and Wayne moves out of range easily.
Wayne is landing a lot of head punches in this opening round! Cartman had better start moving his head a bit unless he wants his face to turn into pâté.
Cartman misses with the combination.
Cartman throws a lazy right hand but Wayne sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
Wayne jabbing away but nothing is landing.
That kick from Cartman tenderised Wayne's leg. Wayne is trying to keep his angry face on.
Cartman connects with a solid leg kick.
Wayne on the wrong end of a decent looking cross there.
Wayne slips a straight right by Cartman.
Wayne on the wrong end of a kick to the body.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Cartman misses with an uppercut. Wayne saw that one coming.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
A nice leg kick lands there from Cartman.
Cartman missing with a left hand there. Wayne was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
Wayne chopped to the floor by a nice leg kick but he springs right back up before Cartman can pounce on him.
Cartman throws a leg kick which misses Wayne's front leg but catches the back leg as Wayne tries to avoid it.
Wayne on the wrong end of a nice hook.
Cartman digs a good hook to Wayne's body.
Cartman misses with a looping left.
Cartman swings away but doesn't land with a series of punches.
Cartman missing with a left hand there. Wayne was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
Cartman throws a lazy uppercut
and Wayne cracks him with a counter punch right on the button.
Wayne takes a shot right to the liver - Bas would have been proud of that punch.
Cartman bobs and weaves and unloads with a good uppercut.
Wayne closes the distance and takes a jab right on the nose as he does so.
Cartman thows a left - swing and a miss!
Cartman misses with an uppercut. Wayne saw that one coming.
Cartman throws a jab but it's blocked by Wayne.
Cartman throws a jab when Wayne was well out of range.
Cartman misses with an uppercut
and Wayne counters with a lovely shot to the body.
Wayne walks into a stiff left hand from Cartman.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Wayne defending well as Cartman loads up on a big left hand.
Cartman ducks down and throws a hook to the body.
Cartman lands a jab to the head.
Cartman cracks Wayne with a hook to the jaw. Both fighters smile at eachother and high-five before getting back down to business.
Cartman connects with a looping left hand that seems like it dazed Wayne momentarily.
Cartman throws a lazy right hand but Wayne sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
Cartman scores with a slapping inside leg kick.
Wayne uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Cartman.
Cartman smiles there as he lands a nice right hand right on the button.
Cartman bobs and weaves and unloads with a good uppercut.
A head kick misses from Cartman.
Cartman scores with a punch to the gut of his opponent.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Cartman looks to land a right hand but Wayne moved out of range.
Wayne moves out of range of the strikes.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Cartman lands an overhand left. A wild punch that just about connected.
Cartman throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
Cartman lands with a thumping leg kick.
Cartman misses with a hook.
Cartman throws a combination but comes up with nothing but fresh air.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Eric Cartman dominated that round.
Well, the break between rounds is over. Let's get back to the scrappin!

Cartman lands a front kick.
Cartman moves into range and throws a combination. A nice jab followed by a hook to the body.
Wayne has his hands up protecting his head but a hook from Cartman finds it's way round the side to connect with Wayne's head.
Wayne uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Cartman.
Cartman throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
Eric Cartman is winning the standup battle so far.
Ooooh, nice body kick lands from Cartman. Wayne shrugs it off though.
Cartman looks to land a left hand but Wayne moved out of range nicely.
Cartman looks to land a right hand but Wayne moved out of range.
Cartman fakes low and throws an overhand right that catches Wayne on the side of the head.
Cartman's corner calls for a 1-2. Cartman obliges with the 1 part as he scores the single shot and moves back out of range.
Cartman has not gone for a single takedown so far in this fight, which seems like a very strange tactic when you consider that he has the superior wrestling and BJJ.
Wayne defending well as Cartman loads up on a big left hand.
Cartman throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Wayne sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Cartman throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Wayne sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Wayne takes a body punch that cleary hurt but he's trying not to show any weakness.
Wayne's leg has a nasty welt from taking a succession of leg kicks. That must be slowing him down.
Cartman paws at his opponent with the jab and then lunges in with a straight, right on the button.
Cartman throws out a loose jab but Wayne uses good head movement to avoid it.
Wayne moves away from the strike by Cartman.
Wayne is breathing heavily.
Cartman swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Wayne avoids a lazy jab quite easily.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Cartman misses with a wild body shot.
Cartman misses with a body kick.
Cartman misses with a hook
and Wayne counters with a lovely shot to the body.
Cartman throws a shot from downtown. Wayne moves away and avoids it.
Wayne takes one to the side of the head.
Wayne has a pretty nasty looking mouse under his right eye.
Cartman scores with a jab to the head.
Wayne steps to his left, right into the path of a big body kick from Cartman. That one must have hurt.
Cartman lands a nice shot that snaps Wayne's head back.
Wayne walks into a stiff left hand from Cartman.
Cartman cracks Wayne with a right hand to the side of the head.
Wayne steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Cartman.
Cartman lands a glancing blow to the side of Wayne's head.
Cartman misses with a wild combination.
Wayne has used his reach advantage pretty well so far tonight.
Cartman jabbing away but nothing is landing.
Cartman scores with a jab to the head.
Cartman throws a two punch combo that lands nicely.
Cartman throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Cartman avoids a lazy jab quite easily.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Cartman takes a swing at Wayne's ribcage but misses.
Wayne slips a jab and a cross from Cartman.
Cartman misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Wayne.
Cartman throws a jab but it's blocked by Wayne.
Cartman thows a body shot but no joy.
A good leg kick by Cartman.
Cartman scores with a body shot.
Cartman looks to land a right hand but Wayne moved out of range.
Cartman throws the kick towards the body but Wayne avoids it.
Cartman darts in and out, connecting with a jab.
Cartman misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Wayne.
Cartman scores with a jab.
Cartman misses with a body kick.
Cartman tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
A cross from Cartman lands.
Wayne takes an uppercut right on the button but keeps his composure.
Wayne staying out of range there.
Cartman lands a nice shot that snaps Wayne's head back.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Cartman scores with a jab to the head.
Cartman throws out a loose jab but Wayne uses good head movement to avoid it.
Cartman lands a jab to the nose.
Cartman tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Wayne was well out of range. Poor timing from Cartman.
Cartman fails to land with the punch combination there - jab, cross, hook, miss, miss, miss.
Cartman slips in close and lands a nice hook before moving back out of range.
Cartman smiles there as he lands a nice right hand right on the button.
Cartman lands with a two punch combination before moving back out of range.
Cartman misses with a straight right.
Cartman looks to throw the jab but Wayne is out of range.
Wayne drops his hands momentarily and Cartman takes advantage with a crisp shot to the head.
Nice shot by Cartman.
Wayne on the wrong end of a nice jab.
Cartman misses with a looping right.
Cartman throws an off balance right hand
and Wayne counters nicely by changing levels and landing a hook to the body.
Wayne on the wrong end of a nice low kick. He's acting like it's no big deal but he doesn't want to take many more of those.
Cartman throws a big shot that misses.
Cartman catches Wayne with a nice straight right. He seems pissed - ooooh, it's on now! On like donkey kong!

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Good standup being displayed there by Cartman as he connects with a hook.
A nice leg kick lands there from Cartman.
Cartman clobbers Wayne with an overhand right that has the crowd gasping. That made a horrendous noise.
Cartman goes to the watering hole and comes back with a big thumbs up from the judges as he scores a three punch combo.
Cartman connects with a lovely right hand, straight down the pipe.
Cartman scores with a nice looking left hook and follows it up with an uppercut!
Cartman connects with a nice looking jab.
Cartman cracks Wayne with a nice right hand that draws applause from the crowd.
Cartman takes a swing at Wayne's ribcage but misses.
Cartman lands with a nice body punch.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Wayne slips under a jab.
Cartman fakes a couple of low kicks, before throwing one on the third attempt. It connects and Wayne has to reset his feet before getting ready to engage.
Wayne avoids a kick to the body.
Cartman ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Wayne moves away.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Cartman throws an ugly left hook that misses
and Wayne counters with a crisp hook to the side of the head.
Cartman misses with a lunging right hand
and Wayne counters nicely by changing levels and landing a hook to the body.
Cartman feints and then cracks Wayne's leading leg with a nice low kick. He's obviously looking to slow Wayne down.
Cartman throws a push kick but Wayne slaps the foot to one side.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Eric Cartman dominated that second round.
That's the end of the interval. I'm sure that seemed a lot quicker than a minute for our two fighters! Back to the action. This is the final round!

Wayne slips a jab from Cartman.
Cartman cracks Wayne with a good jab.
Cartman throws a jab but it's blocked by Wayne.
Cartman swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Cartman throws a hook but Wayne blocks it.
Cartman scores with a big left there. The judges will like that one.
Cartman looking to throw a kick but he's pulled out of it.
Cartman cracks Wayne with a hook to the jaw. Both fighters smile at eachother and high-five before getting back down to business.
Cartman is looking to land body kicks.
It really doesn't seem like the step up in weight is hurting Cartman here at all. He's more than holding his own against the bigger man.
Cartman jabbing away but nothing is landing.
Cartman throws a head kick that misses.
The fighters circling - Cartman throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Cartman chopping away at his opponent's legs.
A nice combination there by Cartman.
Cartman connects nicely with a jab. Noted by the judges no doubt.
Wayne takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.
Wayne ducks under a wild hook from Cartman.
Cartman misses with a looping left.
Cartman throws a lazy right hand but Wayne sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
Wayne slips under a jab from Cartman.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Cartman swings away but doesn't land with a series of punches.
Wayne ducks under a wild hook from Cartman.
Cartman misses with a straight left.
Wayne jabs Cartman to the body, keeping him at a distance.
Cartman throws a right and a left that both miss.
Cartman misses with an uppercut
and Wayne cracks him with a counter punch right on the button.
Wayne on the receiving end of a decent leg kick there by Cartman. Cartman obviously looking to wear him down.
Wayne moves away from the strike by Cartman.
Cartman misses with a right hand
and Wayne cracks him with a counter punch right on the button.
Cartman misses with a looping left.
Cartman looks to land a left hand but Wayne moved out of range nicely.
Wayne uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Cartman.
Cartman takes a swing at Wayne's ribcage but misses.
Cartman misses with a lunging right hand
and Wayne counters with a nice body shot.
Cartman just misses with a punch to the body.
Cartman throws a poor cross that misses
and Cartman takes a counter punch right on the button for his troubles.
Wayne blocks a jab.
Wayne defending well as Cartman loads up on a big left hand.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are starting to boo a lack of action.
Cartman cracks Wayne with a good jab.
Cartman scores with a jab to the head.
Cartman cracks Wayne with a hook to the jaw. Both fighters smile at eachother and high-five before getting back down to business.
Cartman fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Wayne manages to avoid it.
Cartman misses with an uppercut. Wayne saw that one coming.
Cartman misses with a hook
enabling Wayne to counter with a crisp jab.
John Wayne has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
Cartman misses with a hook. Wayne ducked under it nicely.
Wayne avoids the body shot from Cartman.
Cartman misses with a kick to the body.
Cartman thows a body shot but no joy.
Cartman throws a head kick that misses.
Cartman cracks Wayne with a right hand to the side of the head.
Wayne looks shocked there as he takes a right hand to the temple.
Wayne takes a thudding leg kick, right into the meat of the thigh.
Cartman jabs at Wayne's body.
Boom, another hit is landed. "You're gunna get knocked out" taunts Cartman, as that shot connected.
Both these guys seem content to just stand up and trade with eachother but Wayne might want to think about changing up his gameplan a bit because over the course of the fight, Cartman has got the better of the exchanges.
Cartman looking to land some kicks to the body here.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Cartman feints and then cracks Wayne's leading leg with a nice low kick. He's obviously looking to slow Wayne down.
Cartman pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Cartman throws a head kick that connects with a bit of head and a bit of hand.
Wayne is on the wrong end of a nice combination from Cartman.
Cartman misses with a wild body shot.
Wayne moves away from the strike by Cartman.
A slow jab from Cartman misses its intended target.
Cartman throws a looping overhand right but Wayne ducks down to avoid it.
Cartman looks to land a left hand but Wayne moved out of range nicely.
Cartman lands a pitter patter jab to the forehead of his opponent.
Wayne drops his hands and takes a jab to the jaw for his troubles.
Cartman works the jab nicely.
Cartman throws a front kick that sends Wayne stumbling back into the cage.
Cartman throws out a loose jab but Wayne uses good head movement to avoid it.
Cartman jabbing away but nothing is landing.
Cartman loads up on a big right hand but Wayne slips the punch.
Nice defenses there by Wayne.
Cartman thows a body shot but no joy.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Cartman connects with a lovely right hand, straight down the pipe.
Cartman throws a quick inside leg kick.
Cartman throws a combination but it was largely blocked by Wayne.
Wayne moves out of range of the strikes.
Cartman misses with a few strikes there.
Wayne takes one on the chin but keeps coming.
Cartman throws a right and a left that both miss.
Nice defenses there by Wayne.
Cartman moves into range and lands a nice body kick.
Cartman throws a big shot that misses.
Wayne misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Cartman.
Cartman throws out a powerful jab.
Cartman cracks Wayne with an open hand slap.
Cartman throws a series of punches but Wayne avoids them all with ease.
Cartman scores with a nice looking left hook and follows it up with an uppercut!
Cartman misses with a series of wild punches.
Eric Cartman is fighting for a decision here - he's started to take the cautious approach.
Cartman paws at his opponent with the jab and then lunges in with a straight, right on the button.

And that's the end of the fight!
Eric Cartman showed his dominance in that final round.
Well Cartman has outscored his opponent in every aspect of the fight today. Only a scarily incompetent judge or two will keep him from a well deserved win... Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Igor Prikhodko scores the fight 30:26
Judge Dmitry Maklakov scores the fight 30:26
Judge Sergei Dronov scores the fight 30:26

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Eric Cartman!