PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a middleweight MMA rules bout between Kevin Handelman (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Mister Happypants (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Chooooooooon! I think Handelman might be my favorite fighter, now he's come out to All I Do is Win. Happypants is bouncing up and down as he enters the arena, backed by Avenged Sevenfold-Nightmare. Both these guys have solid standup skills and neither is particularly fantastic on the ground, so let's hope for a nice standup war!

Handelman
vs
Happypants

187 cm
25
190 lbs
10 - 4 - 0

210 cm
27
189 lbs
10 - 4 - 0

Decent wrestler
Excellent boxer
Very strong

Good wrestler
Excellent boxer
Heavy handed

۞ AFFAKETIΘN ۞

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the middleweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 10 - 4 - 0, fighting out of London, Kevin Handelman!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 10 - 4 - 0, fighting out of London, Mister Happypants!
The judges for this bout are Chris Edwards, William Gold and Andrew Berry.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Happypants fails with the takedown

and Handelman counters by moving into the clinch.
Handelman prevents a takedown attempt there.
Handelman lands a left hand.
Handelman stalls.
Handelman struggles to land a body shot inside as Happypants controls his hands.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Handelman stops a takedown attempt from Happypants.
Kevin Handelman has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Mister Happypants.
Handelman throws a punch but it's blocked by Happypants.
Handelman misses with the head strike.
Good anti-grappling being displayed by Happypants as Handelman tries to tie him up.
Handelman has a couple of punches blocked by Happypants.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Happypants is trying to break the clinch but Handelman is controlling him.
Happypants has a body lock and is looking for a takedown. Handelman is bouncing around trying to prevent the takedown and somehow he has indeed managed to stay on his feet.
Handelman lands with a good tight uppercut to the head.
Handelman goes for a body shot but it's blocked.
Handelman misses with a hook from the clinch.
Handelman lands a hook to the side of the head.
Handelman works on Happypants's body with a couple of short punches.
Handelman lands with a right to the head.
A right handed body shot lands from Handelman.
Handelman stays in close to his opponent and throws a right hand to the body.
Happypants blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Happypants wants a takedown.
Happypants is working for takedown but Handelman is calmly controlling the position for now.
Happypants looks gassed!
Handelman lands a shot to the body.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Happypants.
Handelman tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
Handelman tries to work over Happypants's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Handelman goes for a body shot but it's blocked.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Handelman stops a takedown attempt from Happypants.
Handelman working aggressively here.
Handelman throws a head punch that misses.
Handelman pushes Happypants back against the cage and lands a hook to the side of the head.
Handelman taking a breather.
Handelman scores with a nice hook to the head.
A short body shot lands from Handelman as the two fighters clinch.
Handelman throws a punch but it's blocked by Happypants.
Handelman taking a break, stalling in the clinch.
Handelman misses with a hook to the ribs.
Handelman swings away with an uppercut that misses.
Handelman lands with a right to the head.
Happypants blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Handelman lands a body punch - he's looking to wear down Happypants.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Handelman softening up his opponent with strikes, against the cage.
Handelman tries a body shot but Happypants blocks it.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Still in the clinch, Handelman scores with a nice short uppercut.
Handelman misses with a shot to the kidneys.
Handelman lands a body punch.
Handelman lands a hook to the body. It's hard to tell if that hurt Happypants or not.
Happypants blocking some punches.
Handelman misses with a hook from the clinch.
Handelman digs a right hand into Happypants's ribs. Those have got to be taking their toll on Happypants's gas tank.
Handelman tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Happypants's elbow.
Handelman struggles to land a body shot inside as Happypants controls his hands.
Handelman misses with a body punch.
Handelman cracks Happypants with a nice body shot.
Happypants blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Handelman lands a hook to the body. It's hard to tell if that hurt Happypants or not.
Handelman lands a body punch - he's looking to wear down Happypants.
Handelman misses with a short punch on the inside.
Handelman misses with the head strike.
Handelman swings wildly with an uppercut but Happypants uses good head movement to avoid it.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Happypants.
Handelman swings wildly with an uppercut but Happypants uses good head movement to avoid it.
Handelman lands a short shot on the inside that snaps the head of Happypants backwards.
Happypants blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Handelman throws a hook to the body. More of an arm punch but it's all scoring with the judges.
Happypants blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Happypants has a body lock and is looking for a takedown. Handelman is bouncing around trying to prevent the takedown and somehow he has indeed managed to stay on his feet.
Handelman lands a shoulder strike that jolts his opponent's head backwards.
Happypants is a painfully thin specimen of a man. You do wonder whether a good body kick would snap him clean in two.
Handelman fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
A body shot lands from Handelman.
The crowd applaud the fighters efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Happypants is looking for a takedown up against the cage. Handelman gets underhooks though and prevents the takedown attempt.
Handelman tries a body shot but Happypants blocks it.
Handelman tries to work over Happypants's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Nice body punch from Handelman.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Kevin Handelman dominated that round.
That's time! Back to the action!

Handelman tries to clinch up but Happypants circles away and keeps his distance.
Happypants doesn't succeed with the takedown

and Handelman counters by clinching up.
Handelman tries a body shot but Happypants blocks it.
Handelman misses with a hook to the ribs.
Happypants blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Handelman lands a shoulder strike.
Handelman effectively controlling the action here.
Handelman tries to stall but Happypants uses the opportunity to gain a better position.
Handelman tries a body shot but Happypants blocks it.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Handelman cracks Happypants with a nice body shot.
Happypants is breathing heavily.
Happypants can't get the takedown.
Handelman lands a hook to the body. It's hard to tell if that hurt Happypants or not.
Handelman lands a short shot on the inside that snaps the head of Happypants backwards.
Happypants blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Handelman throws a punch but it's blocked by Happypants.
Handelman is stalling here. The referee will be looking to step in if he doesn't pick up the pace.
Handelman digs a right hand underneath Happypants's ribcage. Happypants let out a lung full of air as it connected.
Handelman scores with a hook to the body.
Handelman fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Handelman lands a body punch.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
The fighters are going at a pretty good pace and they're both starting to sweat now.
Handelman misses with the head strike.
Handelman lands a body shot in the clinch.
An uppercut to the body lands inside from Handelman.
Handelman lands with a good tight uppercut to the head.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Handelman misses with a shot to the kidneys.
Handelman misses with a hook from the clinch.
Kevin Handelman has scored more points in the clinch so far.
Handelman pushes Happypants back against the cage and unloads with a body punch.
Nice body punch from Handelman.
Happypants prevents a body shot from Handelman.
Handelman misses with a hook from the clinch.
A right hook to the body lands for Handelman.
Handelman digs a right hand into Happypants's ribs. Those have got to be taking their toll on Happypants's gas tank.
Happypants jumps guard but Handelman stands there with Happypants around his waist. Happypants gives up and drops back to his feet. We remain in the clinch.
Kevin Handelman has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Mister Happypants.
Handelman lands a right hand that snaps the head of Happypants backwards.
An uppercut to the body lands inside from Handelman.
Handelman has a couple of punches blocked by Happypants.
Handelman swings wildly with an uppercut but Happypants uses good head movement to avoid it.
Handelman misses with a shot to the kidneys.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Handelman stalling in the clinch.
Happypants blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Handelman gets through Happypants's defenses to land a nice punch to the side of the head.
Happypants letting Handelman take a breather here.
Handelman lands a shoulder strike that jolts his opponent's head backwards.
A right hook to the body lands for Handelman.
Handelman pushes Happypants back against the cage and unloads with a body punch.
Handelman is really dominating this fight. Is there anything that Happypants can do to turn this around?
Handelman works on Happypants's body with a couple of short punches.
Handelman lands a hook that snaps the head of Happypants backwards.
Handelman misses with a hook from the clinch.
A right hand to the body from Handelman.
Handelman tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Happypants's elbow.
Handelman gets through Happypants's defenses to land a nice punch to the side of the head.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Handelman.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Handelman pushes Happypants back against the cage and lands a hook to the side of the head.
Handelman just leaning against Happypants, taking a breather.
Handelman can't find room to land a body shot as Happypants controls the action.
Handelman tries a body shot but Happypants blocks it.
Happypants jumps guard but his hands slip and he falls flat on his back. Well, he's made himself look a right mug there, as Handelman walks away with a smile on his face. Happypants gets slowly back to his feet and shakes his head.
No joy there for Happypants, who threw a few shots but didn't land.
Mister Happypants is looking to throw some combinations by the looks of things.
Happypants fails with the takedown

and Handelman counters by moving into the clinch.
The crowd applaud the fighters efforts here as the round comes to an end.

Happypants pulls guard successfully.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Handelman showing good wrestling skills to control the position.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Kevin Handelman dominated that second round.
The fighters' corners scream their final instructions, as the referee calls time. Here we go, back to the action! And we move into the final round!

Handelman leaves Happypants with his face pressed against the mat as he sprawls beautifully, defending against a solid takedown attempt.
Happypants misses with the combination.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Happypants shoots in looking for a double leg takedown. Handelman defends it nicely.
Mister Happypants seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Happypants takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Handelman tries to clinch
and Happypants counters with a lovely straight right hand!
Happypants throws a series of punches but Handelman avoids them all with ease.
Happypants keeps the fight on the outside.
Happypants gets his takedown attempt stuffed easily
letting Handelman counter with a right hand.
Kevin Handelman has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Mister Happypants.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Happypants throws a right and a left that Handelman avoids nicely.
Happypants fails with the takedown
and Happypants takes a counter punch right on the button for his troubles.
Handelman tries to clinch there but Happypants circles away.
Handelman misses with a hook
and Happypants counters with a left and a right that stings Handelman.
Kevin Handelman is fighting for a decision here - he's started to take the cautious approach.
Both fighters are looking to counter, which isn't making for the most exciting fight in the world.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Handelman wants to clinch.
Happypants misses with a takedown attempt

and Handelman holds on and brings the fighters into a clinch.
Happypants blocks an uppercut.
Handelman tries to work over Happypants's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Handelman works on Happypants's body with a couple of short punches.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are getting on the fighters' backs, as the pace has dropped off in the last minute or so.
Happypants blocks a body shot from Handelman.
Happypants looking for a takedown.
Happypants tries for a takedown but Handelman manages to get underhooks.
Mister Happypants has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
Handelman tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
Happypants goes for a takedown attempt but Handelman pushes him away and we're back to fighting at a distance.
Happypants with a poor takedown
and Handelman counters with a nice jab to the body that keeps Happypants thinking.

And that's the end of the fight!
Kevin Handelman showed his dominance in that final round.
Well I reckon that's a shut out for Handelman, winning every round. Will the judges agree? They are the ones who matter, even if they are often depressingly incompetent. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Chris Edwards scores the fight 30:25
Judge William Gold scores the fight 30:25
Judge Andrew Berry scores the fight 30:25

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Kevin Handelman!