PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a super heavyweight MMA rules bout between Blade Facestabber (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Salad Fingers (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Salad Fingers will no doubt be looking to use his reach advantage to good effect.

Facestabber
vs
Fingers

197 cm
27
289 lbs
5 - 0 - 0

225 cm
20
300 lbs
4 - 1 - 0

BJJ Purple Belt
Solid boxing
Big heart

BJJ Brown Belt
Decent boxing
Heavy handed

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, for the super heavyweight championship of the world!
Introducing the champion to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 5 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Hilo, Blade Facestabber!
And introducing the challenger to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 4 - 1 - 0, fighting out of Hilo, Salad Fingers!
The judges for this bout are , and .

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Facestabber tries to clinch but Fingers moves out of range.
Facestabber keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Fingers.
Fingers misses with a straight right.
Fingers throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Facestabber sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Fingers throws out a loose jab but Facestabber uses good head movement to avoid it.
Fingers keeps the fight standing with a nice sprawl.
Facestabber slips a jab and a cross from Fingers.
Fingers circles away from the clinch attempt.
A punch lands to the side of Facestabber 's head but he takes it in his stride.
Fingers connects with a single shot there.
Fingers jabbing away but nothing is landing.

Facestabber shoots in for a takedown and gets it. Let's see what he's got on the mat.

Fingers had isolated an arm as going for a kimura. Facestabber defends it easily.
Facestabber controls from within his opponent's guard.

That's one minute gone in the round.

Fingers had isolated an arm as going for a kimura. Facestabber defends it easily.
Fingers manages to sweep nicely, so he's now on top. Facestabber manages to get himself to full guard.
Fingers postures up in Facestabber's guard and throws a big left but Facestabber blocks it.
Fingers trying to control the position from guard on top but Facestabber is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Fingers throwing shots from guard but he's hitting more mat than opponent.
Fingers with a flurry of punches that miss.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are showing their displeasure at the lack of action as loud boos ring out around the arena.
A real slowdown in the pace of the fight for a moment, as Facestabber holds on and takes a little breather.
Facestabber knows he needs to get back to his feet asap. He's simply no match for Fingers on the ground.
Facestabber utilising some decent striking defenses from the guard, preventing the ground and pound.
Fingers wants to control from the top but Facestabber keeps moving.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
If this pace continues, the referee will definitely step in and force a standup.
Fingers passes Facestabber's left leg - he's now in half guard.

Fingers is looking for a kimura here.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Fingers wants to control but Facestabber is keeping him busy.
Facestabber works his way to full guard. Good work.
Facestabber preventing the ground and pound from doing any damage.
Facestabber keeping moving, preventing Fingers from controlling successfully.
Fingers postures up in Facestabber's guard and throws a big left but Facestabber blocks it.
Fingers is looking to work some ground and pound but Facestabber has wrist control.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Neither fighter has done anything of merit for a good minute or two here and the crowd are not happy about it.
Fingers looking to pass the guard.
Fingers trying to control the position from guard on top but Facestabber is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Fingers pushes down on Facestabber's leg and manages to get into half guard.
Fingers looks to land a strike but Facestabber avoids it nicely and regains full guard.
Fingers tries to free his leg and advance position but Facestabber is retaining full guard.
Facestabber utilising some decent striking defenses from the guard, preventing the ground and pound.
Fingers in full guard, throwing the ground and pound. No damage this time.
Facestabber avoiding any damage from the ground and pound.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Salad Fingers dominated that round.
Well, the break between rounds is over. Let's get back to the scrappin!

Fingers misses with an uppercut.
Fingers misses with a straight right.
Facestabber checks a low kick from Fingers.
Facestabber tries to clinch but Fingers moves out of range.
Fingers throws an off balance right hand

and Facestabber counters with a single leg into guard. Fingers didn't expect that.
Fingers has momentary wrist control but Facestabber slips an elbow through the middle.
Fingers tries to strike from the bottom.
Facestabber stopping the sweep attempt from Fingers.
Facestabber has to be careful here, sitting in the guard of a superior BJJ player.
Facestabber is looking to stand up but Fingers won't let him.
Facestabber is stalling in the full guard.
Fingers controls Facestabber momentarily but Facestabber frees himself.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Fingers trying to punch from his back but it's not doing any damage.
Fingers trying to strike from the bottom but really, it's not the best position to be doing that from!
Facestabber controls from within his opponent's guard.

We're going to have a standup here because Blade Facestabber wasn't active enough for the referee's liking.
Fingers throws an ugly left hook that misses

and Facestabber counters with a nice double leg into guard.

Fingers has a loose triangle. He'll be looking to tighten that up but Facestabber can see exactly what he's planning and manages to posture up and free himself.
Fingers trying to strike off his back.
Fingers is working an open guard here, looking to improve his position. No doubt that will leave him open to counters but at least he's being more offensive.
Facestabber trying to pass the guard but can't manage it just yet.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Fingers trying to control the position.
Fingers might have to switch it up a bit here because his efforts to control Facestabber kaven't been going to plan, at least at the current moment in time.
Fingers thows some rabbit punches from the bottom but they don't do any damage.
Facestabber trying to pass the guard but can't manage it just yet.

Fingers escapes his hips to the side and looks to be working for an armbar. Facestabber gives him a little smile and shakes his head. No chance.
Fingers working a defensive guard but Facestabber manages to pass into side control anyway.

Facestabber is looking for a kimura. He might have it! No, Fingers has escaped the position, nice work there.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Fingers struggling a bit here.
Fingers is moving his hips around well on the bottom and has managed to get back to half guard.
Fingers tries to roll over but Facestabber keeps him under control.
Facestabber slows the pace down in half guard.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are hurling abuse towards the fighters... You can hardly blame them though because there isn't a lot going on in the fight.
Facestabber blocks the strikes from Fingers.
Facestabber wants to pass to mount but Fingers is defending the position.
Fingers trying to control here.
Fingers is looking to improve his position.
Fingers holds on for dear life, maintaining half guard for now.
The referee is pacing around the two fighters - he looks like he's thinking about a standup.
Fingers wants to control but Facestabber is keeping busy and won't allow it.
Fingers has the superior BJJ but he's also working some ground strikes into his gameplan.

The referee decides to stand the fighters back up.
Fingers rushes in with a sloppy looking punch

and Facestabber counters by moving into the clinch.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Blade Facestabber dominated that second round.
The corners get their ten second warning. Both fighters stand from their stools and stare eachother down, ready to get back to the action. The crowd applaud as we get ready to start the final round!

Fingers misses with an uppercut

and Facestabber moves into the clinch.
Facestabber keeps the fight in the clinch, despite Fingers's efforts to push away.
A frustrated look appears on Fingers's face as he tries to break the clinch.
Fingers is trying to work out of this bad position, with his back against the cage.
Fingers lands with a quick shot inside that doesn't really do much damage.

Facestabber jumps guard and drags Fingers to the mat. He's obviously going to be looking for submissions off his back.
Facestabber is pulling down on Fingers's head. It's preventing any offense from Fingers, at least for the moment.
Facestabber working the defensive guard well to avoid strikes from Fingers.
Fingers forces his way into half guard.
Facestabber might be looking to lock onto one of his opponent's long limbs for a submission, whilst we're on the ground.
Fingers throwing punches and elbows but they're not doing any damage.
Fingers thumps the canvas. Not on purpose obviously - he just missed Facestabber's head.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Fingers wants to control but Facestabber is keeping him busy.
Facestabber is working for an escape here. He's hooked one of Fingers's legs and he's managed to sneak out and take Fingers's back!
Fingers trying to control but not successfully.
Fingers rolls and manages to get back to half guard. Nicely done.
Facestabber prevents Fingers from improving his position.
Fingers throws a strike from the bottom that misses.
Fingers is staying active underneath Facestabber, who seems content to just control the action from this position.
Fingers wants to get back to full guard.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
A few boos can be heard. I'm sure they will multiply if the fighters don't pick up the pace.
Facestabber sitting and controlling from the half guard.

The referee decides to stand the fighters back up, due to lack of activity on the part of Blade Facestabber.
Facestabber fails with a takedown attempt.
Facestabber shoots in for a takedown. "Ole!" shouts Fingers as he jumps to the side.
Fingers cracks Facestabber with a right hand to the side of the head.
Fingers jabbing away but nothing is landing.
Fingers pushing out the jab but it's not landing.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Fingers throws a poor cross that misses

and Facestabber counters with a shoot takedown. Fingers fights it but they end up in guard.

Fingers is working actively off his back, looking to secure an arm or perhaps work for a triangle.
Fingers being controlled here, momentarily.
Fingers is working the butterfly guard. He manages to land a nice scissor sweep and is now in half guard on the top. Nice move.
Fingers thumps the canvas. Not on purpose obviously - he just missed Facestabber's head.
Fingers thows a big elbow that misses, also allowing Facestabber to regain full guard.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
A big thud reverberates around the arena there as Fingers accidentally thumps the mat. Hopefully he's not broken his hand.
Fingers trying to control the position from guard on top but Facestabber is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Facestabber preventing the ground and pound from doing any damage.
Facestabber tries to land a sweep but no joy.
Fingers trying to land body shots but he keeps hitting the mat.
Fingers loading up with the ground and pound but he's missing more than he's landing in this flurry.
Fingers is looking to work some ground and pound but Facestabber has wrist control.
Both fighters are breathing heavily.
Fingers trying to move into half guard but instead Facestabber has managed to sweep!
Fingers keeping moving, preventing Facestabber from controlling successfully.

And that's the end of the fight!
I would just about give that final round to Salad Fingers.
I think Fingers has won this one but let's see whether the judges agree with me. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Andi Peters scores the fight 29:29
Judge Gordon Ramsey scores the fight 28:29
Judge Frank Skinner scores the fight 28:29

In favor of your winner, by majority decision... Salad Fingers!
Salad Fingers is the new super heavyweight champion!