PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a welterweight MMA rules bout between Maddy Rock (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Eric Cartman (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Cartman is bobbing his head along to his entrance song: Unclefucker. Eric Cartman has the power to score a knockout today if he connects clean with Maddy Rock's chin.

Rock
vs
Cartman

183 cm
26
175 lbs
20 - 10 - 0

184 cm
26
179 lbs
17 - 6 - 1

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Cardio machine

Good wrestler
Dangerous knees
Good gas tank

Undead clothing. All items 10$

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the welterweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 20 - 10 - 0, fighting out of Helsinki, Maddy Rock!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 17 - 6 - 1, fighting out of Helsinki, Eric Cartman!
The judges for this bout are Anni Minnemäki, Johanna Lukiainen and Ben Zyskovitsi.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Cartman uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Rock.
Donk. Cartman catches Rock right on the button with a cross.
Cartman scores with a nice right hand.
Rock throws a body punch but Cartman moves out of range.
Cartman connects with a body shot.
Rock misses with a body shot
and Cartman counters nicely by changing levels and landing a hook to the body.
Rock fakes a couple of low kicks, before throwing one on the third attempt. It connects and Cartman has to reset his feet before getting ready to engage.
The fight stays on the outside here - Cartman looks like he's thinking about clinching though.
Cartman lands with a shot to the body.
Cartman throws a couple of head shots and lands with the final one - a decent hook, which struck Rock on the side of the head.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Rock misses with a body kick.
Rock thows a body shot but no joy.
Cartman throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Rock takes a swing at Cartman's ribcage but misses.
Eric Cartman seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Rock keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Maddy Rock is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.

That's one minute gone in the round.
A swing and a miss from Cartman.

Cartman darts in and lands a nice takedown into half guard.
Rock avoiding damage under a succession of punches from Cartman.
Rock is looking to improve his position.
Rock regains full guard. Nicely done.
Cartman won't allow Rock to sweep him here.
Rock is trying to control the position but Cartman postures up.
Rock is looking to stand up but Cartman isn't so interested in that idea.
Cartman pressing down on his opponent's thigh, looking to pass guard. Rock is keeping the position for now.
Cartman is working Rock over from the guard. He should look to pass the guard and do a little more damage with these strikes.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Cartman in full guard, throwing the ground and pound. No damage this time.
Rock utilising some decent striking defenses from the guard, preventing the ground and pound.
Rock not looking particularly offensive just at the moment.
Cartman wants to control from the top but Rock keeps moving.
Rock looking to hit a scissor sweep but Cartman is one step ahead there.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Cartman is working the ground and pound from guard. He might want to try advancing position though to get more of an impact.
Rock has his hands on Cartman's head, controlling the position.
Rock is working the butterfly guard. He manages to land a nice scissor sweep and is now in half guard on the top. Nice move.
Cartman is controlling Rock's position as best he can from this difficult position.

That's three minutes gone in the round.

Rock is looking for a kimura. It's going to be difficult to finish that from half guard though and Cartman defends it well.
Rock trying to control the action but Cartman is working from the bottom.

Rock is looking for an arm triangle, whilst trying to pass to side control. Cartman doesn't seem that keen to cooperate though. No luck this time Rock.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Neither fighter has done anything of merit for a good minute or two here and the crowd are not happy about it.

Rock gets to his feet - back to striking we go!
Cartman throws a shot to the body.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Cartman throws a shot from downtown. Rock moves away and avoids it.
Cartman throws the left hand but Rock avoids the punch easily.
Cartman shoots in but Rock avoids the takedown attempt easily.
Cartman cracks Rock with a nice right hand that draws applause from the crowd.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Eric Cartman dominated that round.
The minute break is over - no more time for sponges and pep talks - back to the action!

Rock slips under a jab from Cartman.
The fight stays on the outside here - Cartman looks like he's thinking about clinching though.
Rock tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Cartman was well out of range. Poor timing from Rock.
Rock stooping low to avoid any incoming strikes and then lunges in with an uppercut come cross that lands flush.
Rock displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Cartman throws out the jab.
Cartman misses with a lunging right hand
and Rock counters with a shot to the ribs. That looked like it hurt.
Rock slaps away a takedown attempt from Cartman, before circling back to the center of the mat.
No luck for Cartman with that takedown attempt.

Rock moves into the clinch.
Cartman throws a punch but it's blocked by Rock.
Rock stops a takedown attempt from Cartman.
Maddy Rock has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Eric Cartman.
Cartman on the defensive, avoiding the knees to the body.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Rock tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Cartman's elbow.
Rock is trying to push Cartman away but Cartman has him pressed against the cage, so he's going nowhere.
Cartman goes for a body shot but it's blocked.
Cartman fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Rock misses the knee to the body. Nice hip positioning from Cartman.
Cartman tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
Rock looking to stall.
Cartman wants a takedown.
Cartman scores with a nice hook to the head.
Rock is looking to control Cartman's arms but Cartman gets an underhook and turns him. Now Rock has his back to the cage.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Cartman.
Cartman can't find room to land a body shot as Rock controls the action.

Rock breaks the clinch and we're back to striking at distance.
Rock ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Cartman moves away.
Cartman doesn't react quick enough there as he takes a shot to the body.
Rock uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Cartman.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Rock misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Rock tries to land a front kick but Cartman steps back. That was a bit too telegraphed.
Cartman fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Rock manages to avoid it.
Rock is looking to wear down Cartman with body shots, infact he's throwing more body shots than head shots at the moment.
Rock tries a head kick but it misses.
Cartman tries for a takedown but Rock sees it coming a mile off and avoids it easily.

Cartman clinches.
Cartman lands an uppercut.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Cartman misses with a body punch.
Cartman misses with a hook from the clinch.
Cartman tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Rock's elbow.
Both fighters working to control the clinch.
Rock struggles to land a body shot inside as Cartman controls his hands.
Cartman digs a right hand underneath Rock's ribcage. Rock let out a lung full of air as it connected.
Rock works on Cartman's body with a couple of short punches.
Rock tries to work over Cartman's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Cartman can't find room to land a body shot as Rock controls the action.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Cartman misses with the head strike.
Cartman working aggressively here.
Rock lands a shoulder strike.
Rock misses with a body punch.
Rock throws an elbow that misses.
Cartman misses with a hook from the clinch.
A shot in the inside from Cartman.
Cartman misses with some punches.
A nice left hand lands by Cartman.
A short right from Cartman on the inside.
Rock blocks a body shot from Cartman.
Rock looking to stall.
Cartman misses with a body punch.

Rock's corner calls for him to break the clinch, which he does.
Rock throws a wild combination but nothing lands.
Cartman keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Rock gets his head snapped back by a nice shot there.
Rock connects with a looping right hand.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Cartman bobs and weaves and throws out a fast jab that snaps Rock's head backwards.
Cartman stuns Rock with a nice body shot, before stepping back out of range.
Nice body punch from Cartman.
Rock throws a low kick but Cartman moves out of range easily.
Cartman is looking to land body kicks.
Rock scores with a push kick.
Cartman misses with an uppercut. Rock saw that one coming.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Rock scoring well with a low kick there.
Cartman tries to shoot in for a takedown. He's got hold of a leg but Rock swivels and escapes.
Rock ducks under a wild hook from Cartman.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Eric Cartman showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
The fighters get back to their feet, the hooter sounds and we're back to the action! Let's get this one finished - here comes the final round!

Cartman lands a right hook to the body.
Rock on the wrong end of a vicious looking body shot.
Rock takes one on the chin but seems OK.
Cartman throws out a loose jab but Rock uses good head movement to avoid it.

Rock rushes Cartman and pushes him back against the cage in a clinch.
Cartman misses with a punch on the inside.
Cartman connects with a nasty looking knee right to Rock's face.

It looks like Maddy Rock has been cut.
Rock looking to stall.
Rock is trying to push Cartman away but Cartman has him pressed against the cage, so he's going nowhere.

Cartman's corner calls for him to break the clinch, which he does.
Rock moves away from the strike by Cartman.
Eric Cartman seems to be getting the better of the standup.
Nice takedown defense from Rock. No joy for Cartman on that attempt.
Cartman misses the shot to the body.
Rock throws a body kick but he was well out of range there.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Rock tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Cartman was well out of range. Poor timing from Rock.
Rock thuds his shin into the meat of Cartman's side.
Rock fakes a couple of low kicks, before throwing one on the third attempt. It connects and Cartman has to reset his feet before getting ready to engage.
Cartman lands a powerful looking uppercut that connected with his opponent's jaw.
Rock chopping away at his opponent's legs.
Rock displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Cartman throws out the jab.
Cartman pivots, looking for a leg kick but Rock is out of range and Cartman settles back down.
Cartman misses with a few strikes there.
Rock will need to close the distance a bit before he attacks - that leg kick was thrown from too far away.
Cartman lands a nice shot that snaps Rock's head back.
Cartman takes a body kick right on the floating rib. Ouchie.
Rock fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Cartman manages to avoid it.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Cartman shoots in with a takedown attempt and he has Rock pinned against the cage. Rock gets the underhooks and manages to circle away.
Cartman throws the left hand but Rock avoids the punch easily.
Cartman waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Rock.
Cartman walks forward, straight into a front kick from Rock.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Rock staying out of range there.
Cartman throws a big shot that misses.
Cartman wants to clinch.
Rock throws a sloppy head kick and Cartman moves out of range easily.
Maddy Rock has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Cartman loads up on a big right hand but Rock slips the punch.
Rock connects with a body shot.
Rock slips under a jab from Cartman.
Nice cross by Cartman.
Rock misses with the combination.
Rock lands a leg kick. The shin dug right into the meat of the thigh.
Rock tries a head kick but it misses.
Rock takes one on the chin but seems OK.
Rock thuds his shin into the meat of Cartman's side.
Eric Cartman is fighting for a decision - hopefully he's judged it right and he's actually winning the fight.
Cartman steps to his left, right into the path of a big body kick from Rock. That one must have hurt.
Rock misses with a straight left.
Rock uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Cartman.
Cartman has developed a nice purple lump on his ribcage, as a result of some heavy body kicks from Rock.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Rock throws a leg kick which misses Cartman's front leg but catches the back leg as Cartman tries to avoid it.
Rock pivots, looking for a leg kick but Cartman is out of range and Rock settles back down.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.

Cartman tries to keep at a distance but Rock has taken the fight into the clinch.
Rock misses with a punch on the inside.

Rock breaks the clinch.
Nice body kick there by Cartman.
Cartman goes to the watering hole and comes back with a big thumbs up from the judges as he scores a three punch combo.
Cartman misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Rock.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Rock throws a series of punches but Cartman avoids them all with ease.
Rock throws a chopping leg kick but Cartman manages to avoid taking any serious damage.
Rock tries to bum rush Cartman with a series of wild strikes but Cartman uses good footwork to avoid the assault.

And that's the end of the fight!
I would just about give that final round to Eric Cartman.
I've got Cartman winning every round here. Surely the decision will go his way and he'll pick up a well deserved decision victory. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Anni Minnemäki scores the fight 28:30
Judge Johanna Lukiainen scores the fight 27:30
Judge Ben Zyskovitsi scores the fight 28:30

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Eric Cartman!
Eric Cartman made sure to mention his sponsor, Katukauppa.com in his post fight interview.