PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Mortal Kombat (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Gary Twats (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Kombat's ring entrance music is that housewives' favourite, Forsaken. Twats is bouncing up and down as he enters the arena, backed by anal cunt. Twats has a pretty significant injury - he really shouldn't be fighting right now but he's a warrior and he's here none the less! Gary Twats has the better chin. Will he look to stand and bang today?

Kombat
vs
Twats

190 cm
25
270 lbs
0 - 0 - 0

200 cm
18
235 lbs
1 - 2 - 0

Dangerous GnP
Excellent boxer
Cuts easily

BJJ Brown Belt
Brawler
Granite chin

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 0 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Sydney, Mortal Kombat!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 1 - 2 - 0, fighting out of Sydney, Gary Twats!
The judges for this bout are Bruno Hogan, Winston Howard and Eliza Hachem.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Kombat shoots for a takedown but Twats saw that one coming a mile off and avoided it easily.
Twats looks really tired already! That doesn't bode well for a good, competitive fight!
Kombat shoots in for a takedown but Twats shows good takedown defense.
Kombat uses good footwork to get in and out, landing a nice hook.
No luck with that takedown attempt from Kombat.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Mortal Kombat. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Kombat looks frustrated there after his takedown attempt is stuffed easily.
Kombat tries for a takedown but Twats sees it coming a mile off and avoids it easily.
Kombat scores with a jab to the body.
Kombat could do with losing a few pounds - he looks very soft around the mid section, to put it politely.
Kombat tries to clinch but is not successful on this occasion.
Kombat misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Kombat lands a jab-cross combination.
Twats takes a body kick right on the floating rib. Ouchie.
A left lands for Kombat.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Kombat lands a right hook to the body.
Kombat is looking to take this fight into the clinch.
Kombat fails with a takedown attempt from distance.
Twats gets cracked there but stands up to it.
Kombat is looking to clinch.
Twats takes one on the chin but keeps coming.
Kombat shoots in for a takedown. "Ole!" shouts Twats as he jumps to the side.
Kombat shoots for a double leg takedown but Twats sprawls well. He's pushed Kombat's face into the mat and manages to get back to his feet relatively easily.
Twats stuffs the takedown attempt from Kombat. Kombat gets slowly back to his feet.
A cross from Kombat lands.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Kombat fakes high and shoots in for a takedown but Twats avoids it really well and circles away.
The fight stays on the outside here - Kombat looks like he's thinking about clinching though.
Nice sprawl there from Twats as Kombat shoots in.
Kombat closes this distance looking for a takedown but Twats circles away.
Kombat scores with a one two! Twats had his feet all tangled up there and couldn't avoid the strikes.

Kombat moves into the clinch.
Kombat is looking to take this one to the mat.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Twats is trying to break the clinch but Kombat is controlling him.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
A battle for position here, against the cage.
Kombat tries to pull guard but Twats won't allow it.
Kombat fails to pull guard.
Kombat is trying to break free.
Kombat tries to take the fight to the ground by pulling guard but can't manage it.
Kombat jumps guard but his hands slip and he falls flat on his back. Well, he's made himself look a right mug there, as Twats walks away with a smile on his face. Kombat gets slowly back to his feet and shakes his head.
Nice sprawl there from Twats as Kombat shoots in.
Kombat shoots in for a takedown. He's persisting with it as Twats sprawls well. Twats wins this battle and keeps the fight standing. Kombat gets slowly back to his feet.
Kombat shoots in looking for a takedown. Twats tries to sprawl out of it but Kombat keeps driving through. The fighters are pinned against the cage. Twats manages to get underhooks and after a bit of a struggle, circles away and we're back to standing.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Kombat shoots in for a takedown but doesn't get it.
Kombat changes levels and looks for a double leg takedown. Twats tries to avoid it but Kombat manages to keep hold of a leg and drag Twats to the ground. Twats escapes though and pops straight back up to his feet.
Twats defends well against a solid takedown attempt from Kombat.
Twats defends well against a solid takedown attempt from Kombat.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Kombat tries to clinch up.
Kombat wants to clinch up but Twats keeps it at a distance.
Kombat shoots in but no luck this time.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Mortal Kombat dominated that round.
The fighters get back to their feet, the hooter sounds and we're back to the action!

Kombat misses with a takedown attempt - Twats sprawls well and throws a nice strike on the way out which just misses.
Kombat looks for a takedown here. Will he get it? Twats is fending him off so far but Kombat persists. Nope, Twats circles away and we're back to standing.
Kombat wants to slow Twats down by chopping away at his legs.
Mortal Kombat is winning the standup battle so far.
Kombat misses with a takedown attempt. He shot from a bit too far out.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Mortal Kombat. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Kombat closes this distance looking for a takedown but Twats circles away.
Kombat shoots in for a takedown but doesn't get it.
Kombat misses with a takedown attempt - Twats sprawls well and throws a nice strike on the way out which just misses.
Kombat shoots in for a takedown. "Ole!" shouts Twats as he jumps to the side.
Both fighters are absolutely exhausted here.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Kombat tries to work over Twats's front leg with a kick but Twats checks it.
Twats keeps the fight standing with a nice sprawl.
Kombat fails in his attempt to clinch.
Kombat connects with a crisp jab.
Kombat connects with a high kick.
Twats takes a body punch but keeps moving.
Twats is on the wrong end of a nice combination from Kombat.
Kombat fails in his attempt to clinch.
Twats swats away the attempt to clinch by Kombat.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
A telegraphed takedown attempt from Kombat is defended easily by Twats.
Kombat clobbers Twats with an overhand right that has the crowd gasping. That made a horrendous noise.
Twats is on the wrong end of a nice combination from Kombat.
Kombat tries to clinch up against the cage, rushing in the close the distance. Twats manages to break the clinch and circles back to the middle of the mat.
Kombat shoots for a double leg takedown but Twats sprawls well. He's pushed Kombat's face into the mat and manages to get back to his feet relatively easily.
Kombat lands a vicious shot with the stealth of a sniper and the strength of a viper. Are vipers that strong? I can think of lots of things that are stronger than a viper - not many rhyme with sniper though.
Horrible takedown by Kombat or perhaps it was just good defense by Twats which made him look bad.
Twats stuffs the takedown.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Kombat shoots in for a takedown. "I don't think so" says Twats as he avoids it easily.
Kombat shoots for a takedown but Twats saw that one coming a mile off and avoided it easily.
Kombat moves in looking to clinch but Twats pushes him off.
Kombat misses with an attempted mid kick.
Kombat tries a head kick but it misses.
Kombat shoots for a takedown but Twats saw that one coming a mile off and avoided it easily.
Well, he's not going to score with shots like that. A lazy body kick attempt from Kombat.
Kombat looks for a takedown but Twats sprawls well.

Kombat clinches with his opponent.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Kombat is working for takedown but Twats is calmly controlling the position for now.
Twats has Kombat pressed against the cage, preventing Kombat from circling away and getting back to striking at range.
Kombat struggles to land a body shot inside as Twats controls his hands.
Kombat working hard to break the clinch.
Twats looking to stall.
Kombat can't break the clinch.
Both guys are working to get underhooks.
The crowd applaud the fighters efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Kombat is trying to stall.
Kombat is looking for a takedown up against the cage. Twats gets underhooks though and prevents the takedown attempt.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Mortal Kombat dominated that second round.
That's time! Back to the action! Let's hear some noise people - this is the final round!

Kombat gets to the clinch - let's see what his plan is here.
Kombat tries to jump guard but he falls flat on his backside. Twats smiles and moves away.
Kombat tries to close the distance and clinch up but Twats swats him away and circles back towards the center.
Nice sprawl there from Twats as Kombat shoots in.
Kombat is trying hard to land a takedown here. Twats sprawls well and keeps this one on the feet.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Mortal Kombat. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Kombat is looking to clinch but Twats is avoiding it.

Kombat darts in and lands a nice takedown into half guard.
Both fighters are breathing heavily.
If this pace continues, the referee will definitely step in and force a standup.
Kombat is trying to control. Twats wants to improve his position but can't escape this time.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Kombat not doing much here.

Twats is defending against the submission attempts here by Kombat.
Kombat trying to pass the guard but Twats defending well.
Kombat working over Twats with some ground and pound. Twats looks like he wants out of this position, which is understandable.
Kombat wants to pass the guard but Twats is defending well.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Kombat trying to control the action but Twats is working from the bottom.
Kombat is pressing down on Twats's thigh, looking to free his foot. Twats is holding on for now.
Kombat moves nicely into side control.
Kombat wants to control but Twats is keeping him busy.
Kombat controlling the position.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Kombat working away.
Twats prevents Kombat from improving position.
Twats is not content to let Kombat control the position.
Twats tries to improve position but can't.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The referee tells the fighters to keep busy.
Kombat lands an elbow.
A lull in the action here.
Kombat scoring with punches and elbows.
Kombat takes a little break here. Twats wants to take advantage but he is being controlled well.
Kombat wants to lay and pray for a moment but Twats keeps working.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
The crowd applaud the fighters efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Twats is trying to get back to his feet.

And that's the end of the fight!
Mortal Kombat showed his dominance in that final round.
Well Kombat has outscored his opponent in every aspect of the fight today. Only a scarily incompetent judge or two will keep him from a well deserved win... Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Bruno Hogan scores the fight 30:27
Judge Winston Howard scores the fight 30:27
Judge Eliza Hachem scores the fight 30:27

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Mortal Kombat!
Mortal Kombat got down on his knees post fight and begged the management for a title shot. 'Please, I want that title shot so bad! Give it to me!'