PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Ron Jeremy (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Slade Wilson (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Jeremy comes to the cage accompanied by Motörhead - Killed By Death. These two fighters really are very evenly matched on the feet - it will be fascinating to see who can assert themselves in that aspect of the fight.

Jeremy
vs
Wilson

167 cm
30
280 lbs
14 - 8 - 0

194 cm
31
250 lbs
17 - 8 - 0

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Insanely flexible

Good wrestler
Excellent boxer
Good gas tank

Undead clothing. All items 10$

Popeye’s Spinach - 159 + 158 Proof Supps

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 14 - 8 - 0, fighting out of Helsinki, Ron Jeremy!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 17 - 8 - 0, fighting out of Helsinki, Slade Wilson!
The judges for this bout are Johanna Lukiainen, Roosa Järviläinen and Matti Vanhoillinen.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Jeremy wants to clinch but Wilson slips to the side

and Wilson counters with a shoot takedown. Jeremy fights it but they end up in guard.
It looks like the ref is thinking about a standup.
Wilson is looking to work some ground and pound but Jeremy has wrist control.
Wilson throwing shots from guard but he's hitting more mat than opponent.
Wilson postures up to throw the ground and pound strikes but they don't connect.
Wilson wants to control from the top but Jeremy keeps moving.
Wilson has the superior BJJ but he's also working some ground strikes into his gameplan.
A big thud reverberates around the arena there as Wilson accidentally thumps the mat. Hopefully he's not broken his hand.
Jeremy preventing the ground and pound from doing any damage.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Wilson is looking to work some ground and pound but Jeremy has wrist control.
Jeremy keeping moving, preventing Wilson from controlling successfully.
Wilson passes into half guard.
Wilson not landing any meaningful shots this time.
Wilson throwing shots but Jeremy is blocking nicely.
Wilson throwing punches and elbows but they're not doing any damage.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Wilson looks over to his corner - he wants some instructions but his corner are not responding.
Wilson is pressing down on Jeremy's thigh, looking to free his foot. Jeremy is holding on for now.
Wilson stalling.

Wilson seems to be working for a kimura but Jeremy defends the submission attempt.
Wilson missing with some ground and pound from the half guard.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Jeremy tries to kick Wilson off but Wilson keeps his base steady and stays in half guard.

Wilson is working for a submission of some sort.
Wilson stalling away here and it's allowed Jeremy to slip out his trapped foot and regain full guard.
Wilson looking to control the position here, rather than advance.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Jeremy wants to stand but Wilson is controlling the position.
Wilson postures up in Jeremy's guard and throws a big left but Jeremy blocks it.
Jeremy wants to sweep but no luck.
Wilson passes into half guard.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Slade Wilson dominated that round.
The fighters get back to their feet, the hooter sounds and we're back to the action!

Jeremy catches Wilson with a nice straight right. He seems pissed - ooooh, it's on now! On like donkey kong!
Wilson throws a sloppy head kick and Jeremy moves out of range easily.
Jeremy rushes forward with a series of wild hooks but Wilson moves out of range and avoids them all easily.
A slow jab from Jeremy misses its intended target.
Wilson shoots in with a takedown attempt and he has Jeremy pinned against the cage. Jeremy gets the underhooks and manages to circle away.
Wilson throws a sloppy head kick and Jeremy moves out of range easily.
Ron Jeremy seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
No joy there for Wilson, who threw a few shots but didn't land.
Left hook, right uppercut from Jeremy.

It looks like Slade Wilson has been cut.
Wilson fails to land with the punch combination there - jab, cross, hook, miss, miss, miss.
Jeremy keeping at a good range here, avoiding a leg kick.
Jeremy is looking to clinch.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Wilson connects nicely with a jab. Noted by the judges no doubt.
Wilson misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Wilson slips a jab and a cross from Jeremy.
Ron Jeremy is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Wilson throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Wilson fakes a couple of low kicks, before throwing one on the third attempt. It connects and Jeremy has to reset his feet before getting ready to engage.
Jeremy bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Jeremy rushes forward with a series of wild hooks but Wilson moves out of range and avoids them all easily.
A combination from Wilson does no damage.
Wilson lands three nice shots there - that looked like it hurt!
Wilson punishes Jeremy's body with a nice straight punch.
Jeremy misses with a double jab
and Wilson connects with a straight left hand counter down the middle.
Wilson lands a right hook to the body.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Jeremy takes an uppercut right on the button but keeps his composure.
Nice sprawl there from Jeremy as Wilson shoots in.
Jeremy tries to clinch there but Wilson circles away.
Wilson swats away the attempt to clinch by Jeremy.

Jeremy moves into range and clinches up with Wilson.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Jeremy makes some space for himself and lands an uppercut.
Wilson tries a body shot but Jeremy blocks it.
Wilson dodges an elbow strike from Jeremy.
Wilson tries to land a knee to the body but he is off balance and Jeremy avoids it.
Jeremy throws an elbow but it misses.
Wilson takes an elbow to the temple.
Wilson is trying to maintain a safe position but Jeremy gets an underhook and turns Wilson into the cage.
Wilson misses with a knee to the head.
Wilson tries to work over Jeremy's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Jeremy lands an uppercut.
Wilson blocking some punches.
Wilson blocks an elbow strike.
Jeremy lands a hook that snaps the head of Wilson backwards.
Wilson wants to stall.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Jeremy lands an elbow that stopped Wilson in his tracks for a moment.
Wilson stalling in the clinch but Jeremy improves position.
Wilson misses with a shot to the kidneys.
Jeremy scores with a shoulder strike.
Jeremy presses Wilson against the cage and delivers a mid-strength body shot.
Wilson wants to take the fight to the mat but Jeremy manages to get underhooks and keep the fight in the clinch.
Ron Jeremy has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Slade Wilson.
Jeremy creates a bit of distance and throws an elbow that only just misses.
Jeremy comes over the top with an elbow. That landed flush.

That has opened up Slade Wilson's cut even more.
Jeremy content to slow the pace in the clinch.
Jeremy tries to land a knee to the body but he is off balance and Wilson avoids it.
Wilson takes a shot to the head.
Wilson looking to slow down the pace here.
Jeremy lands with a right to the head.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Wilson blocks the elbow strike.
A short right hand to the side of the head by Jeremy.

The cut above Slade Wilson's eye is starting to cause him problems now.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Jeremy creates a bit of distance and throws an elbow that only just misses.
With the two fighters working up against the cage, Jeremy just misses with a elbow thrown towards Wilson's brow.
With the fighters clinched against the cage, Jeremy creates a bit of distance for himself and scores with a nice uppercut.
With the two fighters working up against the cage, Jeremy just misses with a elbow thrown towards Wilson's brow.
Wilson is looking to score with knees to the body. Maybe he'll change it up and go body then head. Jeremy is defending well for now.
Jeremy stalling in the clinch but Wilson improves position.
Wilson on the defensive, avoiding the knees to the body.
Jeremy pushes off an throws an elbow but Wilson leans to the side and avoids it. We're back to clinching against the cage.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Jeremy is struggling to control the position.
Jeremy throws a head punch that misses.
Wilson blocks an elbow strike from Jeremy.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Ron Jeremy dominated that second round.
The cut man is working on Slade Wilson's cut.
The referee calls time. The cornermen exit stage left and we're back to business. This is the final round!

Wilson throws a combination but it was largely blocked by Jeremy.
Wilson misses with a wild combination.
Wilson looking to land some kicks to the body here.
Wilson lands a nice looking kick to the body. Jeremy takes a step back to recover.
Jeremy closes the distance looking to clinch
and Wilson counters with a three punch combo that has Jeremy backing up. Jeremy nods at Wilson to acknowledge the strikes.
Wilson will need to tighten up his combinations if he doesn't want to gas himself out, swinging at thin air.
Jeremy catches Wilson with a nice straight right. He seems pissed - ooooh, it's on now! On like donkey kong!
Wilson throws a head kick that misses.
Wilson looks frustrated there after his takedown attempt is stuffed easily.
Jeremy tries to clinch but is not successful on this occasion.
Wilson slips a jab and a cross from Jeremy.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Wilson throws a right and a left that Jeremy avoids nicely.
A combination from Jeremy does no damage.
Wilson throws a left and a right that both miss

and Jeremy counters by moving into the clinch.
Wilson is trying to push Jeremy away but Jeremy has him pressed against the cage, so he's going nowhere.
Jeremy lands an elbow inside that Wilson shrugs off.
Jeremy gets an overhook and lands an elbow to the side of the head.
Jeremy throws a punch but it's blocked by Wilson.
Jeremy gets an overhook and lands an elbow to the side of the head.

Slade Wilson's cut is absolute horrible now. This looks like something out of a horror film with blood covering both fighters.
Jeremy blocks a knee to the body. He'll have a nicely bruised forearm in the morning.
Wilson misses with a body punch.
Wilson is trying to stall.
Wilson blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Jeremy misses with a short punch on the inside.
Jeremy lands an uppercut.
The step up in weight doesn't seem to be a problem for Wilson. He's performing admirably here against the bigger man.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Jeremy misses with a hook from the clinch.
Jeremy throws a nice elbow but it doesn't land.
Jeremy swings wildly with an uppercut but Wilson uses good head movement to avoid it.
A short right hand to the side of the head by Jeremy.
Wilson digs a right hand into Jeremy's ribs. Those have got to be taking their toll on Jeremy's gas tank.
Wilson blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Wilson blocks a knee to the body. He'll have a nicely bruised forearm in the morning.
Jeremy misses with some punches.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
The two fighters are working to gain dominance in the clinch.
Wilson misses with a punch on the inside.
Ron Jeremy has scored more points in the clinch so far.
Wilson landing some nice looking knees to the body.
Jeremy misses with a punch to the body.
Jeremy creates a bit of space for himself and sneaks an elbow through Wilson's defenses.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Wilson is working on a leg, looking for a takedown but Jeremy is defending well.
Jeremy lands punches inside but they're not really causing much damage.
A nice glancing elbow lands by Jeremy.

The referee calls the doctor in to look at Slade Wilson's cut. Oh no, the doctor has called an end to the bout!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3:25 of round 3, we have a winner by way of TKO (Cut). Ron Jeremy!
Ron Jeremy very nearly forgot to thank Undead clothing. All items 10$ amongst all the excitement of his win but just as the interview came to a close, he screamed their name. Hopefully he'll get a few nice freebies in the mail as a thank you.