PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a lightweight MMA rules bout between Jack Kevorkian (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Dumbass McWeakhands (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Buckle up people - heeeeeeeeeere we go!

Kevorkian
vs
McWeakhands

175 cm
27
165 lbs
14 - 9 - 0

168 cm
30
165 lbs
18 - 6 - 1

Dangerous GnP
Excellent boxer
KO power

Good wrestler
World class boxer
Heavy handed

Steel Penn's Laundry 93%
Firebird Designs

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the lightweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 14 - 9 - 0, fighting out of Amsterdam, Jack Kevorkian!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 18 - 6 - 1, fighting out of Amsterdam, Dumbass McWeakhands!
The judges for this bout are Albert Achterberg, Paulsen Ambrosius and Wagner Zegers.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
McWeakhands throws a jab but it's blocked by Kevorkian.
McWeakhands fakes a head shot and lands one to the body.
Kevorkian works his jab well there, keeping his opponent at a distance.
Kevorkian misses the shot to the body.
Kevorkian throws a body punch but McWeakhands moves out of range.
McWeakhands connects with a looping right hand.
A looping hook to the body misses from McWeakhands. Kevorkian does a little dance to reset his feet.
Kevorkian paws at his opponent with the jab and then lunges in with a straight, right on the button.
McWeakhands throws a shot from downtown. Kevorkian moves away and avoids it.
Kevorkian tries to close the distance and clinch up against the cage but McWeakhands paws at him with a jab and circles away.
Kevorkian feints and then cracks McWeakhands's leading leg with a nice low kick. He's obviously looking to slow McWeakhands down.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
McWeakhands uses good footwork to get in and out and land a nice right hand before Kevorkian has time to react.
Nice shot lands for McWeakhands.
McWeakhands steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Kevorkian.
McWeakhands misses with a low kick.
An inside leg kick from Kevorkian misses.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Jab, jab by McWeakhands - just one landing.
Kevorkian showing good head movement there, avoiding the strikes from McWeakhands.
McWeakhands connects with a good right hand that stumbles Kevorkian. Kevorkian circles away out of range and recomposes himself.
Kevorkian blocks a jab.
Dumbass McWeakhands seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
McWeakhands lands a nice looking body shot.
McWeakhands checks a low kick from Kevorkian.
Kevorkian scores with a jab to the body.
Kevorkian throws a hook but McWeakhands avoids it easily.
Kevorkian thows a left - swing and a miss!
Kevorkian defending well as McWeakhands loads up on a big left hand.
McWeakhands misses with a body shot.
Kevorkian misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from McWeakhands.
McWeakhands lands a head shot.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
A big left from Kevorkian misses.
Jab from Kevorkian.
Boom, another hit is landed. "You're gunna get knocked out" taunts McWeakhands, as that shot connected.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Kevorkian throws a shot from downtown. McWeakhands moves away and avoids it.
McWeakhands throws a wild combination but nothing lands.
McWeakhands throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Kevorkian cracks McWeakhands with a right hand to the side of the head.
Kevorkian tries to clinch but McWeakhands moves out of range.
McWeakhands dips down and scores with a jab to the body.
Kevorkian bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
McWeakhands dances in quickly and lands a nice inside leg kick on Kevorkian. That did some damage!
Kevorkian throws a leg kick that misses.
McWeakhands throws a head kick but Kevorkian moves out of range.
McWeakhands throws out a token jab with nothing on it.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Kevorkian lands with a good body shot.
Kevorkian tries to clinch up.
Kevorkian checks the leg kick nicely there.
McWeakhands lunges in with an uppercut that skims his opponent's chin.
Kevorkian throws a quick inside leg kick.
McWeakhands throws a nice outside leg kick.
McWeakhands ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.

McWeakhands instigates a clinch.
Kevorkian misses with a knee to the head.
Kevorkian leaning against his opponent.
McWeakhands tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
McWeakhands blocks a body shot from Kevorkian.
Kevorkian's head jolts backwards as he takes an uppercut right on the button!
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Kevorkian doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
McWeakhands doesn't land with the attempted body shot.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Kevorkian tries to stall but McWeakhands uses the opportunity to gain a better position.
Kevorkian tries to land knees in the clinch but McWeakhands avoids the damage to the body.
McWeakhands looks to throw an elbow but misses.
Kevorkian misses the knee to the body. Nice hip positioning from McWeakhands.
A shot in the inside from McWeakhands.
McWeakhands blocks an uppercut.
A nice right hand lands inside from McWeakhands.
McWeakhands lands an elbow inside.

It looks like Jack Kevorkian has been cut.
Kevorkian trying to control the position but instead, McWeakhands has worked for underhooks and has pushed Kevorkian into the cage.
A short left from McWeakhands.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Kevorkian misses with a hook from the clinch.
A short right from McWeakhands.
McWeakhands managing to block the knees to the body from Kevorkian.
McWeakhands tries to work over Kevorkian's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
McWeakhands misses the knee to the body. Nice hip positioning from Kevorkian.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Dumbass McWeakhands dominated that round.
The cut man is working on Jack Kevorkian's cut.
That's time! Back to the action!

Kevorkian connects with a looping right hand.
Kevorkian with a nice cross.
Kevorkian throws an uppercut from half a mile away. McWeakhands sees it coming and avoids it easily.
McWeakhands fakes with the hands and throws a leg kick but Kevorkian is out of range.
Kevorkian walks into a left hand.
McWeakhands lands with a thumping leg kick.
Nice defenses there by Kevorkian.
Kevorkian misses with a hook. McWeakhands ducked under it nicely.
McWeakhands paws at his opponent with the jab and then lunges in with a straight, right on the button.
Kevorkian has his front leg slapped to the side - a nice low kick landing there from McWeakhands.
Dumbass McWeakhands seems to be getting the better of the standup.
McWeakhands lands a jab to the nose.
Kevorkian throws a shot from downtown. McWeakhands moves away and avoids it.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Kevorkian lands a leg kick that knocks McWeakhands off balance momentarily.
A jab from McWeakhands does it's job there.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Kevorkian throws out a loose jab but McWeakhands uses good head movement to avoid it.
Kevorkian motions for McWeakhands to come forward. Kevorkian throws a leg kick but it misses it's target.
Kevorkian misses with a body shot.
Kevorkian loads up on a big right hand but McWeakhands slips the punch.
McWeakhands slips in close and lands a nice hook before moving back out of range.
McWeakhands connects with a looping left hand that seems like it dazed Kevorkian momentarily.
Kevorkian throws out a leg kick but McWeakhands moves out of range and Kevorkian only half commits.
Nice uppercut there from McWeakhands.
Kevorkian throws a hook but McWeakhands blocks it.
McWeakhands throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Kevorkian sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Kevorkian dances in quickly and lands a nice inside leg kick on McWeakhands. That did some damage!
Kevorkian takes an uppercut right on the jaw but it doesn't phase him.
Kevorkian takes a kick to the side of the head.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
McWeakhands tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
McWeakhands bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
McWeakhands throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
That kick from McWeakhands tenderised Kevorkian's leg. Kevorkian is trying to keep his angry face on.
Kevorkian misses with an uppercut. McWeakhands saw that one coming.
McWeakhands lands a kick to the ribs of his opponent. Nice work there - in and out in a flash.
Kevorkian is looking to clinch but McWeakhands is avoiding it.
Kevorkian slips a jab from McWeakhands.
Kevorkian looks to throw the jab but McWeakhands is out of range.
McWeakhands thuds a mid kick into his opponent's body. That will wear on Kevorkian if he has to take too many more of those.
Both fighters are absolutely exhausted here.
McWeakhands throws a body punch but Kevorkian moves out of range.
Kevorkian blocks a head kick by McWeakhands.
McWeakhands throws a right hand that Kevorkian ducks under and follows up with a left that Kevorkian also avoids with ease.
McWeakhands uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Kevorkian.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
McWeakhands throws a leg kick but he was too far away and it doesn't land.
Kevorkian tries to score with an inside leg kick but telegraphs it and McWeakhands is able to avoid easily.
Kevorkian misses with a hook.
McWeakhands uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Kevorkian.
McWeakhands with a nice looking leg kick. You could hear that one land in a back row.
McWeakhands lands a nice hook to Kevorkian's body. Kevorkian takes it in his stride and looks to land his own strikes.
McWeakhands keeping at a good range here, avoiding a leg kick.
McWeakhands connects with a hook to the side of his opponent's head.
A telegraphed right hand from Kevorkian misses the target.
McWeakhands scores with a kick to the midsection.
Kevorkian swings away with a leg kick that misses.
The fighters are starting to perspire pretty heavily.
McWeakhands lands a right hook to the body.
McWeakhands scores with a hook to the body. Kevorkian takes a step back and tries to catch his breath.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
McWeakhands scores with a sloppy punch to the body. Not much technique there but it did the business.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
McWeakhands pushes Kevorkian away with a front kick.
Kevorkian takes a jab right on the nose. That must have hurt but he shrugs his shoulders and looks to return the favor.
McWeakhands lands a body shot.
Kevorkian takes one on the chin but keeps coming.
McWeakhands throws a shot to the body.
Kevorkian closes the distance and takes a jab right on the nose as he does so.
McWeakhands scores with a sloppy right hand. Kevorkian should have avoided that one.
Kevorkian closes the distance and takes a jab right on the nose as he does so.
Kevorkian takes one to the side of the head.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
McWeakhands bobs and weaves and unloads with a good uppercut.
Kevorkian walks into a jab.
Kevorkian shakes his hands off, looking to compose himself, but takes a jab to the jaw whilst he does it.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Dumbass McWeakhands showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
The cut man is working on Jack Kevorkian's cut.
The referee calls time. The cornermen exit stage left and we're back to business. The crowd applaud as we get ready to start the final round!

Kevorkian throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Kevorkian checks a leg kick nicely.
Kevorkian scores with a nice head shot.
Kevorkian blocks the body kick.
McWeakhands works his jab well there, keeping his opponent at a distance.
McWeakhands lands with a nice low kick. That'll leave a bruise.
Kevorkian throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Kevorkian fakes and then throws a beautiful body shot. McWeakhands looks a bit winded and takes a step backwards to take a breath.
McWeakhands fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Kevorkian manages to avoid it.
Kevorkian just misses with a punch to the body.
A slapping leg kick lands for McWeakhands.
Both fighters are breathing heavily.
Kevorkian misses with an uppercut
and McWeakhands counters with a slapping leg kick.
Kevorkian tries to move into range but McWeakhands moves to the side and lands with a nice right hand.
McWeakhands throws a feint and then finishes with a kick to the body.

That's one minute gone in the round.
McWeakhands uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Kevorkian.
Kevorkian tries to close the distance and clinch but McWeakhands swats him to one side with an open hand palm strike and circles away.
Kevorkian tries to clinch up but McWeakhands circles away and keeps his distance.
McWeakhands scores with a big left there. The judges will like that one.
McWeakhands blocks a jab.
McWeakhands fakes low and throws an overhand right that catches Kevorkian on the side of the head.
McWeakhands walks straight into an uppercut. Luckily it didn't land flush.
McWeakhands scores with a reasonable looking shot to the body. Kevorkian doesn't seem bothered though.
McWeakhands connects with a body shot.
Kevorkian scores with a jab.
McWeakhands uses good footwork to get in and out, landing a nice hook.
McWeakhands works his jab well there, keeping his opponent at a distance.
Jack Kevorkian has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Kevorkian has a nice red mark on his side after a thudding body kick by McWeakhands.
McWeakhands chopping away at his opponent's legs.
This has been an exciting period of action!
A jab lands there for McWeakhands.
McWeakhands is looking to take this fight into the clinch.
McWeakhands stumbles momentarily as he takes a strong leg kick from Kevorkian.
Kevorkian rushes forward with a series of wild hooks but McWeakhands moves out of range and avoids them all easily.
Kevorkian misses with a straight left.
A chopping leg kick lands by McWeakhands.
McWeakhands tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
Kevorkian looks like he's developed a pretty tasty lump over his left eye. He'll need to avoid taking much more damage to that.
Kevorkian ducks down and throws a hook to the body but McWeakhands moves away.
McWeakhands moves into range and connects with a jab.
McWeakhands scores with a nice looking left hook and follows it up with an uppercut!

That's three minutes gone in the round.
A slapping leg kick lands for McWeakhands.
Kevorkian doesn't react quick enough there as he takes a shot to the body.
McWeakhands buckles his opponent's knee momentarily with a nice leg kick.
McWeakhands works his jab well there, keeping his opponent at a distance.
McWeakhands has been the more effective fighter overall so far.
McWeakhands digs a good hook to Kevorkian's body.
McWeakhands sizes up Kevorkian with a pawing jab and scores with a straight right down the middle.
Kevorkian takes a shot right to the liver - Bas would have been proud of that punch.
McWeakhands scores with a reasonable looking shot to the body. Kevorkian doesn't seem bothered though.
McWeakhands works the jab nicely.
McWeakhands connects with a right hand. Kevorkian shakes it off.

Kevorkian is rocked!
Kevorkian is hobbling a little on that front leg after taking quite a few leg kicks so far in this fight.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
McWeakhands cracks a nice hook into Kevorkian's ribs.
McWeakhands fakes and then throws a beautiful body shot. Kevorkian looks a bit winded and takes a step backwards to take a breath.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
McWeakhands stuns Kevorkian with a nice body shot, before stepping back out of range.
Like a baseball bat into the meat of his leg there - nice leg kick by McWeakhands.

McWeakhands instigates a clinch.
A left hand lands to the body for McWeakhands.
McWeakhands pushes Kevorkian back against the cage and unloads with a body punch.
Dumbass McWeakhands is fighting for a decision - hopefully he's judged it right and he's actually winning the fight.
A short left from McWeakhands.
McWeakhands misses with a punch to the body.
Kevorkian misses the knee to the body. Nice hip positioning from McWeakhands.
Kevorkian throws a head punch that misses.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Kevorkian misses with a punch to the body.
Kevorkian struggles to land a body shot inside as McWeakhands controls his hands.
McWeakhands lands on the inside with an uppercut.

And that's the end of the fight!
Dumbass McWeakhands comfortably won the final round on my scorecard.
Well McWeakhands has outworked and out performed his opponent in all aspects of the game today. He was simply too good and the decision should be no more than a formality. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Albert Achterberg scores the fight 27:30
Judge Paulsen Ambrosius scores the fight 27:30
Judge Wagner Zegers scores the fight 27:30

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Dumbass McWeakhands!
Dumbass McWeakhands decided to thank the fans in attendance for making a great atmosphere. It seemed to go down pretty well.