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PBP Commentary |
Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Methuselah Couture (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Zapp Brannigan (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Couture comes into the arena with wait, nvmnd! thats just the tapping of his cane as he walks. blaring out of the sound system. Brannigan has chosen Jackyl -- The Lumberjack as his entrance music. Rumors backstage are that the fighters have been paid to keep it standing but we know that would never happen in MMA!
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| 225 cm
25
275 lbs
12 - 5 - 1 |
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195 cm
28
245 lbs
27 - 20 - 0 |
Abu Dhabi Champ
World class boxer
Insanely flexible |
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Good wrestler
World class boxer
Good gas tank |
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Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of
12 - 5 - 1, fighting out of Las Vegas, Methuselah Couture!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of
27 - 20 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Zapp Brannigan!
The judges for this bout are Tiny Johnson, Daniel Franklin and Frank Dennis.
The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Couture swings for the body but Brannigan moves out of range.
Couture really does look like a pencil wearing a pair of gloves. Let's hope he has a gameplan to suit that ridiculous body shape.
Couture misses with a straight left.
A head kick misses from Brannigan.
Couture keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Brannigan.
Couture doesn't react quick enough there as he takes a shot to the body.
Brannigan jabbing away but nothing is landing.
Couture swings for the body but Brannigan moves out of range.
Couture scores with a shot to the body.
Couture slips under a jab from Brannigan.
Nice shot by Couture.
Couture connects with a solid leg kick.
Brannigan misses with a looping right.
Brannigan tries to check the leg kick but that clearly hurt him.
Couture darts in and lands a nice takedown into half guard.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Couture stands up from half guard.
That's one minute gone in the round.
Nice defenses there by Couture.
Couture shapes like he's going to throw a leg kick but settles back down.
A swing and a miss from Brannigan.
Couture connects with a hook to the side of his opponent's head.
Couture lands a leg kick. The shin dug right into the meat of the thigh.
A left and a right from Couture both land. Nice combination.
Couture throws a leg kick
and Brannigan counters with a right hand to the body.
Brannigan misses with an uppercut.
Couture moves away from the strike by Brannigan.
Couture's jab looks to have found its range, popping Brannigan under the eye.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Couture throws a leg kick
and Brannigan counters with a straight right hand.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
Brannigan tries to check the leg kick but that clearly hurt him.
Couture goes for a high kick. It partially lands.
Brannigan looks shocked there as he takes a right hand to the temple.
Brannigan uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Couture.
Couture is using his reach advantage well here, landing the more effective single shots from range.
Couture misses with a looping left.
Zapp Brannigan is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
Brannigan misses with a straight left.
Brannigan throws a hook but Couture avoids it easily.
Couture works Brannigan's body with a nice hook.
Couture is using his height advantage well here, landing a good percentage of his punches.
Brannigan blocks a leg kick.
Methuselah Couture seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Couture misses with a looping left.
Brannigan displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Couture throws out the jab.
Couture fakes with the hands and throws a leg kick but Brannigan is out of range.
Brannigan slaps away a takedown attempt from Couture, before circling back to the center of the mat.
Brannigan throws a head kick but Couture moves out of range.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
Brannigan connects with a high kick.
It looks like Methuselah Couture has been cut.
Couture is looking to slow Brannigan down with leg kicks.
Couture getting the better of the striking in that exchange.
Couture misses with a looping right.
Brannigan might want to mix his strikes up a bit more. He's just going for head shots at the moment and that can become a bit predictable.
Couture keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Brannigan.
Brannigan uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Couture.
Couture attempts a leg kick but it's missed by a good margin.
Brannigan takes an uppercut right on the jaw but it doesn't phase him.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Brannigan throws a sloppy head kick and Couture moves out of range easily.
Brannigan tries to move into range but Couture moves to the side and lands with a nice right hand.
Couture misses with a straight right.
Brannigan stumbles momentarily as he takes a strong leg kick from Couture.
Couture misses with an uppercut.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
Brannigan takes a jab right on the nose. That must have hurt but he shrugs his shoulders and looks to return the favor.
Brannigan walks into a stiff left hand from Couture.
Couture blocks a head kick by Brannigan.
Brannigan tries to score with a low kick but Couture moves his leg out of the way.
A head kick misses from Brannigan.
Brannigan swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Couture closes the distance and clinches up with Brannigan, looking for a takedown. Couture pushes Brannigan against the cage but Brannigan circles to the side and manages to break the clinch.
Couture connects with a body shot.
Couture waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Brannigan.
Couture throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Couture throws a jab when Brannigan was well out of range.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
A head kick misses from Couture.
Brannigan moves out of range of the body kick from Couture.
Couture throws a head kick but Brannigan moves out of range.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.
Methuselah Couture dominated that round.
The cut man is working on Methuselah Couture's cut.
Well, the break between rounds is over. Let's get back to the scrappin!
Couture avoids the body shot from Brannigan.
A big right from Brannigan misses.
Brannigan cracks Couture with a good jab.
Brannigan moves out of range of the leg kick from Couture.
Brannigan loads up on a big right hand but Couture slips the punch.
Brannigan looks to land a right hand but Couture moved out of range.
Couture uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Brannigan.
Brannigan's jab looks to have found its range, popping Couture under the eye.
A looping hook to the body misses from Brannigan. Couture does a little dance to reset his feet.
Brannigan misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Brannigan misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Couture defending well as Brannigan loads up on a big left hand.
Brannigan throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
Brannigan misses with a head kick.
Brannigan waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Couture.
That's one minute gone in the round.
Brannigan throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Brannigan takes an uppercut right on the button but keeps his composure.
Brannigan throws a sloppy head kick and Couture moves out of range easily.
Couture throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Couture misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Brannigan.
Couture throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Couture changes levels and looks for a double leg takedown. Brannigan tries to avoid it but Couture manages to keep hold of a leg and drag Brannigan to the ground. Brannigan escapes though and pops straight back up to his feet.
Couture scores with a jab to the jaw.
Couture tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
Couture misses with a kick to the body.
Brannigan keeping at a good range here, avoiding a leg kick.
Brannigan is really struggling to land any decent head shots against his taller opponent.
Brannigan throws a lazy right hand but Couture sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
Brannigan looks to land a left hand but Couture moved out of range nicely.
Couture thows a left - swing and a miss!
That's two minutes gone in the round.
Couture uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Brannigan.
Couture throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Brannigan takes a jab right on the kisser.
Couture blocks a head kick by Brannigan.
Brannigan walks into a stiff left hand from Couture.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Brannigan blocks a head kick by Couture.
Couture takes a swing at Brannigan's ribcage but misses.
Brannigan gets cracked there but stands up to it.
Couture lands a straight punch to the body, keeping Brannigan at a distance.
A head kick misses from Brannigan.
Couture tries to score a power double leg takedown but Brannigan sees that one coming and sprawls well. That will dishearten Couture somewhat.
Couture tries a head kick but it misses.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
Couture displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Brannigan throws out the jab.
Brannigan throws a shot from downtown. Couture moves away and avoids it.
Couture thows a left - swing and a miss!
Brannigan avoids the head kick by Couture.
Couture getting the better of the striking in that exchange.
Brannigan throws a shot from downtown. Couture moves away and avoids it.
Jab from Couture.
Couture throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Brannigan blocks a leg kick.
Brannigan throws a hook but Couture avoids it easily.
Couture has his head snapped back a nice jab. A little nod from Couture there as he acknowledges the shot.
Brannigan misses with a lunging right hand
and Couture counters with a big head kick but Brannigan shrugs it off.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Brannigan lands with a slapping head kick.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
Brannigan fakes a jab and scores with a low kick.
Brannigan uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Couture.
Couture steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Brannigan.
Couture looks to score with a jab to the body but Brannigan is just out of range.
Couture tries for a takedown but Brannigan sees it coming a mile off and avoids it easily.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Methuselah Couture. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Couture tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Brannigan was well out of range. Poor timing from Couture.
Brannigan plants his feet and lands a nice head kick!
Couture cracks the inside of Brannigan's front leg.
Couture throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Brannigan blocks a jab.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Brannigan keeping at a good range here, avoiding a leg kick.
Brannigan misses with a straight left.
A head kick misses from Brannigan.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.
Zapp Brannigan showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
The cut man is working on Methuselah Couture's cut.
The referee calls time. The cornermen exit stage left and we're back to business. Let's get this one finished - here comes the final round!
Brannigan throws a head kick but Couture moves out of range.
Couture keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Brannigan.
Couture swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Methuselah Couture is winning the standup battle so far.
Couture shoots in for a double leg but Brannigan sprawls well. That's going to sap some energy.
Couture bobs and weaves and then throws a good body kick.
Couture scores with a nice right hand.
A momentary lapse in concentration from Brannigan enables Couture to shoot in and score with a neat double leg. Brannigan manages to secure a closed guard as the fighters hit the mat.
Couture advances position into side control!
Couture trying to control the action but Brannigan is working from the bottom.
Couture misses with an attempted head punch from side control.
That's one minute gone in the round.
Brannigan is putting a lot of effort into getting back to his feet here.
Couture wants to control but Brannigan is keeping him busy.
Couture working away.
Brannigan tries to buck Couture off but Couture is having none of it.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
Brannigan wants to control but Couture postures up.
Couture postures up a little and throws a couple of hammerfists but they don't connect properly.
Couture is looking to take a break and control but Brannigan is keeping him honest, looking to work from the bottom.
The ref stands the fighters back up because Methuselah Couture just wasn't active enough.
Brannigan uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Couture.
Couture slips a jab from Brannigan.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
A slapping leg kick lands for Couture.
Couture scores with a spinning back kick!
Brannigan throws a head kick but Couture moves out of range.
Couture lands a jab.
Couture throws a nice inside leg kick.
Brannigan misses with an uppercut. Couture saw that one coming.
Brannigan jabbing away but nothing is landing.
Couture digs a good body shot into Brannigan's ribs.
Couture bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Brannigan cracks Couture with a hook to the jaw. Both fighters smile at eachother and high-five before getting back down to business.
Brannigan on the wrong end of a nice jab.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Brannigan tries a head kick but it misses.
Brannigan tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
A telegraphed right hand from Brannigan misses the target.
Couture bobs and weaves and unloads with a good uppercut.
Brannigan misses the jab.
The crowd cheers as Couture lands an impressive looking overhand right. Brannigan doesn't seem phased though.
Brannigan's leg has a nasty welt from taking a succession of leg kicks. That must be slowing him down.
Couture looks to land a left hand but Brannigan moved out of range nicely.
Couture missing with a left hand there. Brannigan was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
A head kick by Couture misses
and Brannigan cracks him with a counter punch right on the button.
Couture lands with a right hand.
Couture scores with a shot to the body.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Couture throws a leg kick which misses Brannigan's front leg but catches the back leg as Brannigan tries to avoid it.
Couture uses good footwork to get in and out, landing a nice hook.
Brannigan scores with a punch to the head.
Couture throws a big shot that misses.
And that's the end of the fight!
Methuselah Couture showed his dominance in that final round.
Well Couture has outscored his opponent in every aspect of the fight today. Only a scarily incompetent judge or two will keep him from a well deserved win... Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.
Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Tiny Johnson scores the fight 29:28
Judge Daniel Franklin scores the fight 29:28
Judge Frank Dennis scores the fight 29:28
In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Methuselah Couture!
Methuselah Couture thanked the fans post fight for their support.
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| S |
C
A |
G |
S |
C
B |
G |
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S |
C |
G |
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energy
A | B |
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hype
A | B |
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pop
A | B |
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mgr
A | B |
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FIGHT
RATING
84% |
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