PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a welterweight MMA rules bout between Sean Michaels (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Eric Cartman (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Michaels comes to the cage accompanied by Popeda - Raakaa voimaa. Cartman has chosen Unclefucker as his entrance music. Sean Michaels has the better chin. Will he look to stand and bang today?

Michaels
vs
Cartman

170 cm
24
175 lbs
12 - 6 - 1

184 cm
27
179 lbs
20 - 7 - 1

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Insanely flexible

Good wrestler
Dangerous knees
Good gas tank

Popeye’s Spinach - 159 + 158 Proof Supps
Undead clothing. All items 10$

Undead clothing. All items 10$

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the welterweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 12 - 6 - 1, fighting out of Helsinki, Sean Michaels!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 20 - 7 - 1, fighting out of Helsinki, Eric Cartman!
The judges for this bout are James Glass, Chris Edwards and Donald Grub.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Cartman tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Michaels was well out of range. Poor timing from Cartman.
Michaels swats away the attempt to clinch by Cartman.
Cartman looks to land a left hand but Michaels moved out of range nicely.
Michaels checks a low kick from Cartman.
Cartman tries for a takedown but Michaels sees it coming a mile off and avoids it easily.
Cartman fakes a jab and throws a low kick but Michaels checks it well.
Cartman moves out of range of the body kick.
A looping hook to the body misses from Michaels. Cartman does a little dance to reset his feet.
Michaels swinging wildly here.
Cartman avoids the body shot from Michaels.
Wow, both these guys are really going for it!
Michaels moves out of range of the strikes.
Cartman scores with a one two! Michaels had his feet all tangled up there and couldn't avoid the strikes.
A decent looking body kick lands there for Michaels.
A big left from Cartman misses.
Nice takedown defense from Michaels. No joy for Cartman on that attempt.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Cartman blocks a head kick by Michaels.
Michaels tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
Cartman tries to close the distance and clinch but Michaels swats him to one side with an open hand palm strike and circles away.
Michaels scores with a push kick.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Michaels misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Michaels misses with an uppercut. Cartman saw that one coming.
Michaels pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Michaels moves his head to the side to avoid a jab but walks straight into a cross.
Michaels throws a body kick that digs right into the meat.
Michaels throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Cartman takes an uppercut right on the jaw but it doesn't phase him.
Good shot there by Michaels.
Cartman throws a jab when Michaels was well out of range.
Sean Michaels is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
Michaels getting the better of the striking in that exchange.
Michaels throws a series of punches but Cartman avoids them all with ease.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Michaels jabs Cartman right on the nose. Cartman blinks but takes it well.
Michaels will need to tighten up his combinations if he doesn't want to gas himself out, swinging at thin air.
Michaels displays good takedown defense there as he swats away a double leg from Cartman.
Sean Michaels has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Eric Cartman.
Nice body punch from Cartman.
Cartman sizes up Michaels with a pawing jab and scores with a straight right down the middle.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
A cross from Michaels lands.
Michaels looks to throw a body kick
letting Cartman counter with a right hand.
Cartman throws an ugly left hook that misses
and Michaels counters with a nice uppercut.
The fighters circling - Michaels throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Michaels plants his feet and lands a nice head kick!

Cartman is rocked!
Michaels scores with a reasonable looking shot to the body. Cartman doesn't seem bothered though.
Cartman is still on wobbly legs! Can Michaels finish him?
Cartman scores with a hook.
Michaels misses with a hook. Cartman ducked under it nicely.
Cartman seems to have recovered his senses.
Michaels throws a head kick that misses.
Cartman blocks a head kick by Michaels.
Thud! ouch! good body kick from Cartman - that will leave a mark!
Cartman connects with a lovely jab that went straight through the gap between Michaels's hands.
Michaels throws a jab but it's blocked by Cartman.
Michaels throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
A combination from Michaels does no damage.
Michaels throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
Michaels takes a jab on the nose there. A little bit of blood seems to be coming out. Hopefully that won't affect his breathing.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
A big left from Cartman misses.
Michaels defending well as Cartman loads up on a big left hand.
A punch lands to the side of Cartman 's head but he takes it in his stride.
Michaels throws a half hearted mid kick.
Good shot there by Cartman.
A looping hook to the body misses from Cartman. Michaels does a little dance to reset his feet.
Cartman throws a quick inside leg kick.
Cartman with a nice looking leg kick. You could hear that one land in a back row.
The crowd cheers as Cartman lands an impressive looking overhand right. Michaels doesn't seem phased though.
Cartman dips down and scores with a jab to the body.
A punch lands to the side of Michaels 's head but he takes it in his stride.
Michaels moves out of range as Cartman strikes.
Cartman connects with a lovely jab that went straight through the gap between Michaels's hands.
Cartman scores with a punch to the head.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Cartman throws a lazy right hand but Michaels sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
Nice cross by Cartman.
Michaels throws the kick towards the body but Cartman avoids it.
Michaels lands with a nice body kick.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Michaels throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Michaels throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Cartman sees it coming and avoids it easily.
A big right from Cartman misses.
Michaels smiles there as he lands a nice right hand right on the button.
Cartman takes a punch right to his stomach. That took the wind out of him momentarily.
Cartman scores with a decent looking hook.
Michaels throws a head kick but Cartman moves out of range.
Cartman is using his reach advantage to land shots from outside his opponent's range.
Michaels steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Cartman.
Cartman throws a hook but Michaels blocks it.
Michaels misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Michaels swings for the body but Cartman moves out of range.
Cartman moves out of range of the body kick.
Cartman misses with a looping right.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
A head kick from Michaels lands but Cartman takes it in his stride.
Michaels tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
Cartman lands a body shot.
Michaels is really peppering his opponent's head with punches.
Cartman with a body punch. A glancing blow.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close round but I would say that Sean Michaels will probably get the nod.
The fighters get back to their feet, the hooter sounds and we're back to the action!

Nice jab there from Michaels.
Michaels fails to land with the punch combination there - jab, cross, hook, miss, miss, miss.
Cartman lands a jab to the head.
Michaels misses with a head kick.
Cartman lands with a cross.
Cartman stuns Michaels with a nice body shot, before stepping back out of range.
Cartman comes forward and lands a shot to the body, then darts back out of range.
Cartman lands with a shot to the body.
Michaels misses with a looping right.
Michaels throws a hook but Cartman blocks it.
Michaels swats away the attempt to clinch by Cartman.
Michaels misses with a straight left.
Michaels is looking to land body kicks.
Cartman fakes low and throws an overhand right that catches Michaels on the side of the head.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Cartman explodes with a nice body kick and back out of range. Nice work.
Cartman avoids the head kick by Michaels.
A solid body kick from Cartman.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Michaels throws a jab to the body, straight down the pipe. Boom. That sent Cartman stumbling backwards but he manages to regain his composure quickly.
Michaels tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
Both fighters are absolutely exhausted here.
Cartman lands a nice leg kick that just misses Michaels's sensitive parts.
Cartman tries to clinch up.
A lazy left from Cartman finds it's target.
Michaels slips a jab and a cross from Cartman.
Cartman connects with a looping right hand.
Cartman ducks under a wild hook from Michaels.
Michaels throws a head kick that misses.
Michaels takes a thudding leg kick, right into the meat of the thigh.
Cartman throws a series of punches but Michaels moves out of range.
Michaels changes levels and scores with a jab to the body.
Cartman cracks Michaels with a nice right hand that draws applause from the crowd.
Cartman keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Michaels.
Cartman catches Michaels with a nice straight right. He seems pissed - ooooh, it's on now! On like donkey kong!

Cartman gets to the clinch - let's see what his plan is here.
Michaels looks like he's developed a pretty tasty lump over his left eye. He'll need to avoid taking much more damage to that.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Michaels is trying to break the clinch but Cartman has him pressed against the cage.
Michaels swings wildly with an uppercut but Cartman uses good head movement to avoid it.

That's two minutes gone in the round.

Michaels's corner calls for him to break the clinch, which he does.
Michaels tries a head kick but it misses.
Eric Cartman seems to be getting the better of the standup.
Cartman swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Cartman throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
The fighters are going at a pretty good pace and they're both starting to sweat now.
Cartman connects with a lovely jab that went straight through the gap between Michaels's hands.
Cartman's corner calls for a 1-2. Cartman obliges with the 1 part as he scores the single shot and moves back out of range.

Cartman gets a clinch.
Cartman has a couple of punches blocked by Michaels.
Michaels blocking some punches.
Cartman lands with a left to the head.
Cartman cracks Michaels with a nice body shot.

Michaels escapes the clinch and we're back to striking.
Cartman on the wrong end of a nice hook.
Michaels throws a shot from downtown. Cartman moves away and avoids it.
Cartman connects with a looping right hand.
Cartman fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Michaels manages to avoid it.
Cartman lands with a slapping head kick.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Cartman with a jab.
Cartman ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Michaels moves away.
Michaels showing good head movement there, avoiding the strikes from Cartman.
Michaels throws a body punch but Cartman moves out of range.
Cartman lands a head kick!
Michaels buckles his opponent's knee momentarily with a nice leg kick.
Cartman looks to throw the jab but Michaels is out of range.
Cartman scores with a jab to the jaw.
Cartman has used his reach advantage pretty well so far tonight.
An inside leg kick lands from Michaels.
Michaels throws out a powerful jab.
Cartman scores with a nice strike.
Michaels throws out a loose jab but Cartman uses good head movement to avoid it.
Michaels fakes the leg kick and cracks Cartman in the body.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Cartman fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Michaels manages to avoid it.
Michaels takes one to the chin there.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Michaels bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Michaels will need to tighten up his combinations if he doesn't want to gas himself out, swinging at thin air.
Good standup being displayed there by Cartman as he connects with a hook.
Cartman stumbles momentarily as he takes a strong leg kick from Michaels.
Michaels thows a body shot but no joy.
Michaels tries to land a front kick but Cartman steps back. That was a bit too telegraphed.
Michaels looking to throw a kick but he's pulled out of it.
A head kick from Cartman lands but Michaels takes it in his stride.
Cartman cracks Michaels with a nice right hand that draws applause from the crowd.
Michaels bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
A decent looking cross lands there for Cartman.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Michaels throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Cartman fails to land with a series of punches.
Cartman scores with a big left there. The judges will like that one.
Cartman missing with a left hand there. Michaels was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Eric Cartman showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
That's the end of the round. The referee orders the cornermen out of the cage so we can get back down to business. This is the final round!

Cartman takes a body punch that cleary hurt but he's trying not to show any weakness.
Michaels throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Michaels tries a head kick but it misses.
Ouch! a nice leg kick from Cartman, right into the meat.
Michaels swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Michaels swats away the attempt to clinch by Cartman.
Cartman throws a right and a left that both miss.
Cartman avoids the head kick by Michaels.
Cartman wants to clinch up but Michaels keeps it at a distance.
Michaels ducks under a wild hook from Cartman.
Cartman throws a head kick but Michaels moves out of range.
Cartman tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Michaels was well out of range. Poor timing from Cartman.
Cartman with a nice cross.
Cartman lands a nice shot that snaps Michaels's head back.
A combination from Michaels does no damage.
Cartman takes a head kick and shrugs it off.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Cartman connects with a single shot there.
Michaels misses with a low kick as Cartman jumps back.
Cartman throws a half hearted mid kick.
Michaels scores with a kick to the midsection.
Michaels throws a jab but it's blocked by Cartman.
Michaels moves his head to the side to avoid a jab but walks straight into a cross.
Good shot there by Cartman.
Cartman throws a low kick but Michaels avoids it.
A cross from Cartman lands.
Cartman takes a nasty kick to the mid section... That should keep him thinking. Does he try and block and risk a head kick landing?
Cartman lands a really nice looking cross but Michaels seems unphased.
Michaels pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Michaels uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Cartman.
Michaels scores with a nice right hand.
Cartman thows a left - swing and a miss!
Cartman keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Cartman avoids a punch combination nicely.
Both fighters are breathing heavily.
Cartman listening to his corner there, landing a nice uppercut.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Cartman lands a pitter patter jab to the forehead of his opponent.
Cartman connects with an inside leg kick.
Cartman pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Cartman throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Michaels misses with the combination.
Michaels keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Michaels swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Michaels moves out of range of the body kick.
Michaels misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Michaels drops his hands momentarily and Cartman takes advantage with a crisp shot to the head.
Michaels connects with a crisp jab.
Cartman blocks a head kick by Michaels.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
A head kick misses from Michaels.
Michaels takes a punch right to his stomach. That took the wind out of him momentarily.
Michaels takes a shot to the eye socket. That's gotta hurt.
Michaels tries to check the leg kick but that clearly hurt him.
Michaels misses with a kick to the body.
Michaels looking to throw a kick but he's pulled out of it.
Sean Michaels is looking to throw some combinations by the looks of things.
Cartman feints and then cracks Michaels's leading leg with a nice low kick. He's obviously looking to slow Michaels down.
A solid body kick from Michaels.
Michaels throws a wild body kick that Cartman sees coming a mile off.
Cartman scores with a shot to the body.
Michaels moves away from the strike by Cartman.
Cartman fakes low and throws an overhand right that catches Michaels on the side of the head.
Cartman lands a really nice looking cross but Michaels seems unphased.
Cartman connects with a leg kick. He turned his hip over nicely there.
Cartman has developed a nice purple lump on his ribcage, as a result of some heavy body kicks from Michaels.

Michaels tries to sprawl but Cartman drives through with a takedown into half guard.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Cartman seems very keen to just sit and control from half guard but Michaels does not like that idea so much and is remaining active off his back.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Cartman controlling the action here.
Cartman wants to control but Michaels is keeping him busy.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!

Eric Cartman has forced the referee to step in and restart the fight on the feet.
Cartman throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Michaels moves into range and connects with a jab.
Cartman is looking to slow Michaels down with leg kicks.
Cartman throws a hook but Michaels blocks it.
Michaels's jab looks to have found its range, popping Cartman under the eye.

And that's the end of the fight!
Eric Cartman comfortably won the final round on my scorecard.
Well Cartman has outworked and out performed his opponent in all aspects of the game today. He was simply too good and the decision should be no more than a formality. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge James Glass scores the fight 28:29
Judge Chris Edwards scores the fight 28:29
Judge Donald Grub scores the fight 28:29

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Eric Cartman!
Eric Cartman opened up his post fight interview with a scream to camera that he wants a title shot! Whether he deserves the shot will be up to the management of the organization, so I guess he'll have to wait and see.