PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a lightweight MMA rules bout between Turd Fergisson (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Auto Pilot (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Fergisson comes to the cage accompanied by Legion of Doom. Over to our ring announcer for the fighter introductions!

Fergisson
vs
Pilot

150 cm
27
162 lbs
6 - 1 - 0

170 cm
19
150 lbs
2 - 1 - 0

Powerful takedowns
Basic striking
Very quick

BJJ Purple Belt
Good kicks
Experienced

Perkele!

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, for the lightweight championship of the world!
Introducing the champion to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 6 - 1 - 0, fighting out of Los Angeles, Turd Fergisson!
And introducing the challenger to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 2 - 1 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Auto Pilot!
The judges for this bout are Wesley Smith, Gwen Towbar and Stewart Dunkirk.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Pilot tries to score with a low kick but Fergisson moves his leg out of the way.
A head kick from Pilot lands but Fergisson takes it in his stride.
Pilot throws a sloppy head kick and Fergisson moves out of range easily.
Pilot thumps Fergisson with a low kick.
Fergisson shapes like he's going to throw a leg kick but settles back down.
Pilot fakes with a right hand and throws a good leg kick, right into the thigh. That had to hurt Fergisson.
Like a baseball bat into the meat of his leg there - nice leg kick by Pilot.
Pilot moves to clinch but Fergisson breaks away

and Fergisson counters with a takedown into side control.

Fergisson is trying to get an arm triangle but Pilot is defending well.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Pilot can't do much from the bottom here.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Fergisson sitting in side control, looking to soften his opponent up with elbows and hammerfists but Pilot is avoiding damage well and looking to escape the position.

Fergisson tries for a kimura. Not really close to a finish though.
Pilot is positioning himself to get back to half guard.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Fergisson working the head with strikes.
Fergisson fails to land a wild elbow strike.

Fergisson is looking for a kimura. He might have it! No, Pilot has escaped the position, nice work there.
Pilot managing to avoid any damage from the strikes thrown by Fergisson.
Fergisson looking to punish the body of his opponent here but Pilot is avoiding damage well.
Pilot manages to get one leg in to regain half guard.
Fergisson really is built like a bowling ball. I wonder if he'd roll if you pushed him down a hill...

Fergisson is working for submissions here but there's nothing on.
Fergisson prevents Pilot from improving his position.
Fergisson thows a huge punch but Pilot dodges it nicely.
Pilot keeping his head moving to avoid the ground and pound.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Pilot moves his hips nicely and gets into full guard.
Fergisson pressing down on his opponent's thigh, looking to pass guard. Pilot is keeping the position for now.
Fergisson is intent on slowing down the pace of the fight, simply looking to control.
Pilot tries to land a sweep but no joy.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Fergisson loading up with the ground and pound but he's missing more than he's landing in this flurry.
Fergisson trying to control the position from guard on top but Pilot is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
The fighters are going at a pretty good pace and they're both starting to sweat now.
Fergisson controls from within his opponent's guard.

Turd Fergisson has forced the referee to step in and bring the fight back to the feet.
Pilot scores with a kick to the body.
Pilot throws a series of punches but Fergisson avoids them all with ease.
Fergisson shoots in looking for a takedown but Pilot manages to keep the fight standing, pushing Fergisson's face into the canvas for good measure before circling away.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
A nice leg kick lands there from Pilot.
Pilot with a nice looking leg kick. You could hear that one land in a back row.

Fergisson darts in and lands a nice takedown into half guard.
Pilot regains full guard. Nicely done.
Fergisson stands and throws Pilot's legs to the side, diving into side control.
Sloppy strikes there by Fergisson.

Fergisson decides to stand back up. Fergisson steps back and let's Pilot get back to his feet.
A decent looking body kick lands there for Pilot.
Fergisson misses with a head kick.
Pilot doesn't manage to clinch there - Fergisson circles away.
Pilot lands a nice looking body kick.
Wow, both these guys are really going for it!
This has been an exciting period of action!
Fergisson swinging wildly here.
Fergisson fails to land with the punch combination there - jab, cross, hook, miss, miss, miss.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Fergisson misses with a takedown attempt. He shot from a bit too far out.
A solid body kick from Pilot.
Pilot throws a quick head kick that skims the top of Fergisson's head.
Fergisson takes a punch right to his stomach. That took the wind out of him momentarily.
Fergisson on the wrong end of a kick to the body.
Pilot lands a front kick.
Pilot lands a leg kick. The shin dug right into the meat of the thigh.

Pilot gets caught napping as Fergisson dives in and scores a takedown. Pilot manages to retain guard.
Pilot is working an open guard here, looking to improve his position. No doubt that will leave him open to counters but at least he's being more offensive.
Pilot not looking particularly offensive just at the moment.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Fergisson is looking to work some ground and pound but Pilot has wrist control.
Pilot wants to sweep here but Fergisson controlling him for the moment.
Fergisson trying to control the position from guard on top but Pilot is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close round but I would say that Turd Fergisson will probably get the nod.
OK. That's time! The bell goes and we're back to the action.

Fergisson closes the distance and after a bit of a stuggle, scores a takedown into Pilot's guard.
Pilot trying to control the position.
Pilot utilising some decent striking defenses from the guard, preventing the ground and pound.
Fergisson forces his way into half guard.

Fergisson is working for a submission of some sort.
Pilot blocking the ground and pound attempt from Fergisson.

Fergisson stands up and beckons Pilot to join him on the feet.
Turd Fergisson is looking to throw some combinations by the looks of things.
A head kick from Pilot lands but Fergisson takes it in his stride.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Pilot tries to clinch there but Fergisson circles away.
Fergisson misses with an uppercut. Pilot saw that one coming.
Pilot cracks the inside of Fergisson's front leg.
Pilot throws a front kick that sends Fergisson stumbling back into the cage.
Pilot pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Pilot misses with an attempted mid kick.
Fergisson thows a body shot but no joy.
Fergisson has his front leg slapped to the side - a nice low kick landing there from Pilot.
Fergisson misses with a takedown attempt. He shot from a bit too far out.
Pilot connects with an inside leg kick.
Pilot pivots as if he's going to throw a leg kick but stops half way.
Fergisson throws a nice looking combination but Pilot bobs and weaves to avoid any damage.
Pilot lands with a kick to the temple. Fergisson shrugs as if to say "is that all you've got?"
Fergisson fails with a takedown attempt.
Fergisson will be looking to protect his midsection after taking some solid kicks to the body.
Pilot lands with a nice low kick. That'll leave a bruise.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Fergisson is on the wrong end of a nice combination from Pilot.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Pilot tries to clinch but is not successful on this occasion.
Pilot lands with a kick to the ribs.
Pilot misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Pilot throws a body punch but Fergisson moves out of range.
Pilot throws a nice inside leg kick.
Pilot throws a mid kick that lands with a slap.
Pilot wants to clinch.
Pilot throws a head kick but Fergisson moves out of range.

Fergisson is looking for a takedown here. He's shot in and has managed to get it, finishing up in Pilot's half guard.
Pilot is trying to get back to full guard.

That's three minutes gone in the round.

Fergisson is looking for a kimura but he's never going to get it from there.
Fergisson wants to lay and pray for a moment but Pilot keeps working.
Turd Fergisson overall seems to be getting the better of the ground position in the fight so far.
Fergisson thows a wild elbow that connects with the canvas.

Fergisson is looking for a kimura but he's never going to get it from there.
Fergisson thows a huge punch but Pilot dodges it nicely.
Pilot is pressing down on Fergisson's left leg trying to get back to full guard. He's managed it.
Fergisson throws a big right hand that misses.

Fergisson drops back looking for a leg! Pilot is in trouble here! The fighters roll with the hold and Pilot manages to kick Fergisson off! Fergisson jumps back into Pilot's guard.
Fergisson has been looking to land a fair amount of strikes on the ground. He might be looking to soften his opponent up in order to work for a submission.
Pilot tries to land a sweep but no joy.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Fergisson throws a big elbow that misses.
A real slowdown in the pace of the fight for a moment, as Pilot holds on and takes a little breather.
Fergisson trying to control the position from guard on top but Pilot is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Fergisson throwing elbows and punches but not connecting, as Pilot works some decent striking defense from the bottom.

Fergisson drops back looking for a heel hook - he quickly realises he's not going to get it but Pilot manages to dive on top of him before he can escape and now Fergisson has Pilot in his guard.
Fergisson wants to sweep here but Pilot controlling him for the moment.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Fergisson looking to control.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

A close second round but Auto Pilot will probably get the nod - 10:9.
The fighters' corners scream their final instructions, as the referee calls time. Here we go, back to the action!

Fergisson ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Pilot moves away.
Pilot throws a body kick but he was well out of range there.
Pilot misses with a body shot.
Fergisson looks frustrated there after his takedown attempt is stuffed easily.
Pilot lands a nice shot to the body.

Pilot gets taken down but at least he's managed to land in guard.
Pilot is trying to control the position from the bottom.
Fergisson throws a big right hand that misses.
Pilot trying to control the position.
Fergisson might be looking to lock onto one of his opponent's long limbs for a submission, whilst we're on the ground.
Fergisson with a nice head shot there.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Pilot lands a beautiful switch and he's in full mount! That could spell trouble for Fergisson!
Fergisson wants to control but Pilot is having none of it.
Fergisson gets back to half guard.
Pilot passes the half guard and he's now in mount! Big trouble for Fergisson!
Fergisson is desperately trying to improve his position but Pilot has a good base and remains in mount.
Fergisson is working hard here to advance position.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Pilot is trying to take his opponent's back.
Pilot looking to control but Fergisson is working nicely, looking to advance position himself.
Fergisson is working to get back to half guard.
Pilot looking to control and managing it successfully.
Fergisson is trying to escape the mount.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Fergisson gets back to half guard.
Fergisson is in trouble now - Pilot has advanced to mount!

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Pilot avoids the attempt from Fergisson to control.
Pilot tries to control but Fergisson wriggling away.
Pilot forces the positional change into back control.
Fergisson rolls, trying to escape but Pilot keeps control of the position.
Fergisson turns into Pilot and is now in his guard.
Pilot trying to control the position.
Fergisson wants to pass the guard but Pilot is keeping the position.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Fergisson sitting in guard here, content to control.
Fergisson working some ground and pound from guard but it's not doing any damage.

Fergisson stands and steps away. Pilot gets to his feet too and we're back to the striking game.
Pilot tries to land a front kick but Fergisson steps back. That was a bit too telegraphed.
Fergisson misses with the combination.
Pilot tries to close the distance and clinch up but Fergisson swats him away and circles back towards the center.
Pilot looking to take his opponent's legs away with the low kicks.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
A really sloppy takedown attempt there from Fergisson.
Both fighters are breathing heavily.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Fergisson shoots in for a takedown. "Ole!" shouts Pilot as he jumps to the side.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Turd Fergisson. That's going to take a lot out of him.

Fergisson darts in and lands a nice takedown into half guard.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close round but Turd Fergisson did the better work so I'd imagine he'll take it.
OK. That's time! The bell goes and we're back to the action.

Pilot stuffs the takedown attempt from Fergisson. Fergisson gets slowly back to his feet.
Fergisson takes an uppercut right on the jaw but it doesn't phase him.
Fergisson on the receiving end of a decent leg kick there by Pilot. Pilot obviously looking to wear him down.
Pilot fakes a head punch and goes low to the body. Nicely done.

Fergisson scores with a nice takedown into half guard. Let's see what he's got on the ground.
Pilot is looking to control Fergisson's leg but it's slowly edging free. Can Pilot avoid being mounted?
Pilot avoiding damage under a succession of punches from Fergisson.
Pilot keeps control of the position for the meantime.
Pilot is looking to regain full guard. Not this time though.

Fergisson seems to be working for a kimura but Pilot defends the submission attempt.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Fergisson working some ground and pound from close in. He's looking to maintain this position and strike for a while by the looks of things... although he'll probably advance to full mount in a minute now I've said that.
Fergisson passes to side control.
Pilot is looking for a sweep.

Fergisson has an Americana. Pilot didn't react quickly enough there and he's in big trouble now! He tries to squirm out but is forced to tap! Fergisson is delighted and gyrates in front of the ring girls. They seem to like the attention - it'll be interesting to see if Fergisson hooks up with any of them at the after show party.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 1:55 of round 4, we have a winner by way of Submission (Americana). Turd Fergisson!
Turd Fergisson is the new lightweight champion!
Our winner, Turd Fergisson, made sure he spent some time buttering up the crowd during his post fight interview, which will no doubt bring him a few more fans.