PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a welterweight MMA rules bout between Eyelove Fucked up (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Cody Funke (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Fucked up comes into the arena with call to prayer blaring out of the sound system. Funke is bouncing up and down as he enters the arena, backed by never gonna stop. Cody Funke has the power to score a knockout today if he connects clean with Eyelove Fucked up's chin.

Fucked up
vs
Funke

178 cm
23
182 lbs
5 - 5 - 1

188 cm
29
184 lbs
12 - 7 - 0

Good wrestling
Excellent boxer
Cardio machine

Good wrestler
Excellent boxer
Powerful

Jihad Fight Gear-Cage Wars version
Jihad Fight Gear-Cage Wars version

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the welterweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 5 - 5 - 1, fighting out of Helsinki, Eyelove Fucked up!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 12 - 7 - 0, fighting out of Hilo, Cody Funke!
The judges for this bout are Josh West, Roger Salmon and Paul Gruel.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Fucked up loads up on a big right hand but Funke slips the punch.
Fucked up misses with a head kick.
Funke misses with an uppercut. Fucked up saw that one coming.
Fucked up changes levels and scores with a jab to the body.
Fucked up cracks Funke with a nice right hand that draws applause from the crowd.
Funke throws a big shot that misses.
Fucked up throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Funke misses the shot to the body.
Fucked up darts in and out, connecting with a jab.
Fucked up displaying good standup as he scores with a three punch combination.
Funke misses with a hook. Fucked up ducked under it nicely.
Fucked up lands a jab to the nose.
Funke looks to score with a combo but nothing lands.
A telegraphed right hand from Fucked up misses the target.
Fucked up slips under a jab.
Fucked up swings for the body but Funke moves out of range.
Fucked up fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Funke manages to avoid it.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Fucked up thuds a left hand into Funke's body.
Funke looks for a takedown but Fucked up sprawls well.
Fucked up takes a swing at Funke's ribcage but misses.
Fucked up throws a shot from downtown. Funke moves away and avoids it.
Fucked up looks to score with a jab to the body but Funke is just out of range.
Fucked up fails to land with a series of punches.
Fucked up smiles there as he lands a nice right hand right on the button.
Funke fakes high and shoots in for a takedown but Fucked up avoids it really well and circles away.
Fucked up cracks Funke with an open hand slap.
Fucked up paws at his opponent with the jab and then lunges in with a straight, right on the button.
Funke misses with a left hand
and Fucked up counters with a shot to the ribs. That looked like it hurt.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Funke waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Fucked up.
Fucked up digs a good body shot into Funke's ribs.
A lazy left from Fucked up finds it's target.
Funke throws a shot from downtown. Fucked up moves away and avoids it.
Funke takes one to the chin there.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Fucked up jabbing away but nothing is landing.
Funke throws a jab when Fucked up was well out of range.
Funke gets his head snapped back by a nice shot there.
Fucked up scores with a nice head shot.
Funke thows a leg kick but Fucked up checks it
letting Fucked up counter with a right hand.
Fucked up throws a right hand that Funke ducks under and follows up with a left that Funke also avoids with ease.
Fucked up misses with a jab and misses with a cross straight after too.
Fucked up connects with a single shot there.
Fucked up throws a body punch but Funke moves out of range.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Funke jabbing away but nothing is landing.
Funke missing with a left hand there. Fucked up was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
Fucked up moves away from the strike by Funke.
Eyelove Fucked up seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Funke throws a right hand that Fucked up ducks under and follows up with a left that Fucked up also avoids with ease.
Fucked up throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Funke sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Funke throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
Fucked up throws the left hand but Funke avoids the punch easily.
Funke misses with a looping right.
Fucked up throws a right and a left that both miss.
Fucked up slips under a jab.
Fucked up jabbing away but nothing is landing.
Funke moves out of range as Fucked up strikes.
Funke tries to move into range but Fucked up moves to the side and lands with a nice right hand.
Fucked up lands a leg kick that knocks Funke off balance momentarily.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
A looping hook to the body misses from Fucked up. Funke does a little dance to reset his feet.
Fucked up fails to land with the punch combination there - jab, cross, hook, miss, miss, miss.
Funke throws a low kick but his opponent is out of range.
Funke slips a jab and a cross from Fucked up.
Funke lunges in with swinging rights and lefts but Fucked up circles away quickly and effectively.
Funke ducks right into an uppercut from Fucked up.
Funke throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Funke is pinned up against the cage taking some big shots here. The referee is looking closely deciding whether he should stop the fight.
A jab from Funke misses.
Fucked up lands with a right hand.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Fucked up tries to bum rush Funke with a series of wild strikes but Funke uses good footwork to avoid the assault.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Fucked up misses with a two punch combination.
Funke fakes a head punch and goes low to the body. Nicely done.
Fucked up throws a combination but comes up with nothing but fresh air.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Eyelove Fucked up dominated that round.
The corners get their ten second warning. Both fighters stand from their stools and stare eachother down, ready to get back to the action.

Fucked up showing good head movement there, avoiding the strikes from Funke.
Funke looks to land a combination but Fucked up avoids it well.
Fucked up throws a couple of head shots and lands with the final one - a decent hook, which struck Funke on the side of the head.
Fucked up throws a shot from downtown. Funke moves away and avoids it.
Fucked up with a nice cross.
Funke misses with a straight left.
Fucked up throws a series of punches but Funke moves out of range.
Sloppy strikes from Fucked up. Those never looked like landing.
Fucked up throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Funke sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Nice jab there from Fucked up.
Funke fails to land with a series of punches.
Fucked up feints a straight left to the body, then turns around with a flashy move and hits Funkes jaw with a dramatic spinning back fist!
Funke looks shocked there as he takes a right hand to the temple.
Funke slips under a jab from Fucked up.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Fucked up dips down and scores with a jab to the body.
Ouch! a nice leg kick from Fucked up, right into the meat.
Funke swinging wildly here.
Fucked up swinging wildly here.
The crowd cheers as Fucked up lands an impressive looking overhand right. Funke doesn't seem phased though.
Funke will have to do better than that with his takedown attempts.
Sloppy strikes from Funke. Those never looked like landing.
Fucked up lands a straight punch to the body, keeping Funke at a distance.
Fucked up tests Funke's chin there with a solid looking shot.
Fucked up throws a combination but it was largely blocked by Funke.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Danga de danga de dang - Funke scores with a four punch combination!
Fucked up with a body punch. A glancing blow.
Funke swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Fucked up uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Funke.
A big left from Funke misses.
Funke throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Fucked up misses with a few strikes there.
Funke has a pretty nasty looking mouse under his right eye.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Fucked up swings away but doesn't land with a series of punches.
Fucked up throws a nice inside leg kick.
Eyelove Fucked up is winning the standup battle so far.
Funke pushes forward with a 1-2 combination that forces Fucked up back to the cage. Funke follows up with a solid lead hook to the liver.
Funke misses with a body shot.
Fucked up throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Funke on the wrong end of a nice jab.
That kick from Fucked up tenderised Funke's leg. Funke is trying to keep his angry face on.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Funke takes one to the side of the head.
Fucked up scores with the left hand. Funke knows he should have avoided that one.
Fucked up lands a jab, followed by a cross and another cross, as Funke backs up against the cage.
Funke walks straight into an uppercut. Luckily it didn't land flush.
Fucked up ducks down and throws a hook to the body.
Funke misses the shot to the body.
Funke has his head snapped back a nice jab. A little nod from Funke there as he acknowledges the shot.
Fucked up throws a right and a left that Funke avoids nicely.
Funke throws an off balance right hand
and Fucked up counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
Eyelove Fucked up is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
Fucked up lands a vicious shot with the stealth of a sniper and the strength of a viper. Are vipers that strong? I can think of lots of things that are stronger than a viper - not many rhyme with sniper though.
Fucked up tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Funke was well out of range. Poor timing from Fucked up.
Fucked up throws a jab but it's blocked by Funke.
Funke digs a good hook to Fucked up's body.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Funke misses with a straight left.
A jab from Fucked up finds it's way through Funke's defenses.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Fucked up lands a jab followed by a nice looking cross.
Funke throws a big shot that misses.
Fucked up misses with a jab, cross combination.
Funke misses with a two punch combination.
Fucked up thows a body shot but no joy.
Fucked up misses the jab.
Eyelove Fucked up is looking to throw some combinations by the looks of things.
Fucked up throws a series of punches but Funke moves out of range.
Fucked up moves out of range of the strikes.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Fucked up lands with a nice combination. Funke backs away looking to recover.
Funke misses with a two punch combination.
Fucked up connects nicely with a jab. Noted by the judges no doubt.
Funke dips down and scores with a jab to the body.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Eyelove Fucked up dominated that second round.
The fighters get back to their feet, the hooter sounds and we're back to the action! This is the final round!

The fighters are starting to perspire pretty heavily.
Fucked up lands a jab to the head.
Funke throws out a powerful jab.
Funke ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Fucked up moves away.
Fucked up getting the better of the striking in that exchange.
Nice straight punches there by Fucked up. You know Roy Jones Jr respects the hands of Fucked up.
Fucked up misses with a two punch combination.
Nice cross by Fucked up.
Funke slips a straight right by Fucked up.
Funke shoots in for a takedown. "Ole!" shouts Fucked up as he jumps to the side.
Funke shoots in for a takedown but Fucked up shows good takedown defense.
Funke looks for a takedown but Fucked up sprawls well.
Eyelove Fucked up has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Cody Funke.
Funke takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.
Fucked up scores with a hook to the body. Funke takes a step back and tries to catch his breath.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Fucked up misses with a straight right.
Fucked up scores with a jab to the jaw of his opponent.
Fucked up lands a jab-cross combination.
Funke takes a body punch that cleary hurt but he's trying not to show any weakness.
Good exchange - Fucked up coming out on top.
Fucked up bobbing and weaving, closes the distance and lands a hook to the side of Funke's head.
Fucked up lunges in with an uppercut that skims his opponent's chin.
Fucked up misses with a few strikes there.
Fucked up throws a looping overhand right but Funke ducks down to avoid it.
A decent looking cross lands there for Funke.
A punch combination from Fucked up misses.
Funke avoids the body shot from Fucked up.
Both these guys seem content to just stand up and trade with eachother but Funke might want to think about changing up his gameplan a bit because over the course of the fight, Fucked up has got the better of the exchanges.
Fucked up throws out a loose jab but Funke uses good head movement to avoid it.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Funke lands a powerful looking uppercut that connected with his opponent's jaw.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Funke's jab looks to have found its range, popping Fucked up under the eye.
Funke tries to move into range but Fucked up moves to the side and lands with a nice right hand.
Fucked up throws a body punch but Funke moves out of range.
Fucked up lands with a nice combination. Funke backs away looking to recover.
Fucked up slips a straight right by Funke.
Fucked up tries a head kick but it misses.

Fucked up gets taken down but at least he's managed to land in guard.
Fucked up has control of Funke's left arm, preventing Funke from doing any damage.
Funke postures up in Fucked up's guard and throws a big left but Fucked up blocks it.
Both fighters really going for it on the ground here!
Fucked up wants to sweep but no luck.
Fucked up working a defensive guard here.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Funke chips away with some ground and pound.
Funke in full guard, throwing the ground and pound. No damage this time.
Funke trying to land body shots but he keeps hitting the mat.
Funke scoring with punches to the head and body.
Fucked up avoiding any damage from the ground and pound.
Funke throws a big elbow that misses.
Funke trying to control but Fucked up is working from the bottom.
Fucked up is working an open guard here, looking to improve his position. No doubt that will leave him open to counters but at least he's being more offensive.
Cody Funke has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
Fucked up pulls Funke in close to prevent any damage.
Funke working some ground and pound from guard but it's not doing any damage.
Fucked up wants to stand but Funke is controlling the position.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Fucked up working the defensive guard well to avoid strikes from Funke.
Funke working some ground and pound from guard but it's not doing any damage.
Fucked up keeping full guard, as Funke tries to pass.

Fucked up has his feet on Funke's hips. He pushes off and gets to his feet. Nice work.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Funke ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Fucked up moves away.
Fucked up fakes and then throws a beautiful body shot. Funke looks a bit winded and takes a step backwards to take a breath.
Fucked up lands with a nice body kick.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Fucked up connects with a crisp jab.
Fucked up walks straight into a jab right on the nose. That one stung - he's blinking and trying to clear his head.
Funke ducks under a wild hook from Fucked up.
A jab from Funke misses.

And that's the end of the fight!
I would just about give that final round to Cody Funke.
I think Fucked up has won this one but let's see what the judges have to say. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Josh West scores the fight 29:28
Judge Roger Salmon scores the fight 30:28
Judge Paul Gruel scores the fight 30:28

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Eyelove Fucked up!
Eyelove Fucked up looked relieved post fight as he said the following; 'Whenever, in their anguish, they try to escape from Hell, back they shall be dragged, and will be told: "Taste the torment of the Conflagration!" Quran 22:19-2'.