PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a super heavyweight MMA rules bout between Shaquille Oneal (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Perseus Poseidon (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Poseidon is bobbing his head along to his entrance song: let the bodies hit the floor. On his way into the cage it seems that Shaquille Oneal has been attacked by a crazed fan! It looks like it might have been the just bleed guy! Luckily Shaquille Oneal seems to be OK! I thought that lunatic was in prison!?

Oneal
vs
Poseidon

213 cm
19
300 lbs
4 - 2 - 0

195 cm
27
280 lbs
5 - 3 - 0

BJJ Purple Belt
Excellent boxer
Very strong

Good takedowns
Brawler
Solid chin

Charlie Wang's Tattered Rags & 95% Laundry

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the super heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 4 - 2 - 0, fighting out of Amsterdam, Shaquille Oneal!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 5 - 3 - 0, fighting out of Amsterdam, Perseus Poseidon!
The judges for this bout are Paul Aken, Albert Achterberg and Nard Betker.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Oneal clobbers Poseidon with an overhand right that has the crowd gasping. That made a horrendous noise.
Shaquille Oneal seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Oneal looks to throw the jab but Poseidon is out of range.
Oneal circles away from the clinch attempt.
Poseidon shoots in but Oneal avoids the takedown attempt easily.
Oneal scores with a jab to the jaw.
Poseidon moves his head to the side to avoid a jab but walks straight into a cross.
Oneal is using his reach advantage well here, landing the more effective single shots from range.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Poseidon is looking to take this fight into the clinch.
Oneal throws a right hand that misses

and Poseidon counters by clinching up.

Oneal breaks the clinch and we return to the middle of the mat.
Oneal misses with a looping right.
Poseidon tries to clinch up but Oneal circles away and keeps his distance.
Oneal misses with a wild body shot.
Poseidon shoots in looking for a double leg takedown. Oneal defends it nicely.
Poseidon fails with a takedown attempt.
Shaquille Oneal has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Perseus Poseidon.
Oneal misses with an uppercut.
Oneal misses with a wild body shot.
Oneal swings for the body but Poseidon moves out of range.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Poseidon thows a body shot but no joy.
Poseidon shoots in for a takedown but doesn't get it.
Oneal misses with a straight left.
Oneal lands a nice hook to Poseidon's body. Poseidon takes it in his stride and looks to land his own strikes.
Oneal connects with a looping right hand.

It looks like Perseus Poseidon has been cut.
Poseidon's hands are dropping dangerously low here and Oneal connects clean with a right hook that sends him down to one knee! Poseidon scrambles back to his feet.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Poseidon gets his head snapped back by a nice shot there.
A head kick by Oneal - that's a beauty! Poseidon is out but he's somehow still standing... he's going... going... gone. Like a drunk walking down the middle of the road, the inevitable face plant follows and the delayed knockout arrives. Even Oneal can't help but laugh at the bizarre end to this one!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 1:29 of round 1, we have a winner by way of KO (Head Kick). Shaquille Oneal!
A very excited looking Shaquille Oneal made sure he remembered to thank all the fans both in the arena and on the internet. He said all the coolest people spend all day on MMA websites, which got a big reaction.